Debbie Dashiell Doula Services

Back at it, customizing a new client's birth planning resource packet. I love what I do!

Did you labor on the toilet? Believe it or not, the john is a fabulous and underrated tool during labor. Sitting on the can puts the birthing person in a supported squat position (especially when combined with a stool or squatty potty to elevate the feet - hello, baby!) opening the pelvis by up to 30%. It also encourages the birthing person to relax their pelvic floor, as one naturally does on the latrine, allowing the cervix to thin, soften, and open as needed.

Even better though - sitting on the pot is a great way to actively labor while also resting their body. Sit backwards on the toilet, toss a pillow up on the tank, and the birthing person can rest their head and muscles between contractions. I once helped a client into this position and a few contractions later they were snoring between surges (not typical results, but worth a mention.)

Sitting backwards on the commode also gives support people access to the birthing person's back and hips, inviting massage and counterpressure as an added bonus.

It's safe to say that just about anywhere you choose to give birth will have a toilet, so give this tool a try. If you utilized the throne during your birth, drop a 🚽 or leave your success stories below! 👇

Lake Country Newborns on the news! Maggie did an awesome job showing the mission behind her business and what we do.
Click the link below to watch!

x-default-stgec.uplynk.com

They don’t call it “labor” for nothing! Movement in labor is soooo essential to the faster, easier and less painful birth experience you’re looking for! So much so that at The BirthHouse, the LAST place we want to see you is laboring in the bed.

Stand and deliver, y’all. You can do it too! 💪

This I why I doula!!!

Hold the mother, not the baby.⁣
⁣
Because the baby’s being taken care of—⁣
fed, snuggled, and given all the love in the world—⁣
by not only the mother,⁣
but her partner, grandparents, siblings, cousins, and friends.⁣
⁣
But the mother,⁣
may have gaps in her mind from lack of sleep,⁣
may be mechanical in her motions as she’s healing,⁣
may feel more like a mess than a mother,⁣
may be sitting in bed, crying, feeling overwhelmed in her body and life,⁣
may be full of mom guilt because in her mind, "she's not good enough,"⁣
and she’s bleeding, wincing in pain, swollen and emotional.⁣
⁣
And the mother’s that baby's whole world and needs to be seen, so she doesn't disappear into that postpartum fog.⁣
⁣
So, hold the mother, not the baby.⁣
⁣
A mother agrees that her baby matters more.⁣
But she’s hurting, while she’s the person behind the baby,⁣
in the background, making it all happen:⁣
feeding her baby at all hours,⁣
snuggling her baby close to comfort newborn cries,⁣
and being that baby’s everything.⁣
⁣
So, it’s the mother who needs your love.⁣
⁣
And a mother will remember who held her up.⁣
⁣
So instead of “I’m coming to see the baby,”⁣
try saying, “I’m coming to see you 𝘢𝘯𝘥 meet the baby, too.”⁣
⁣
Because the mother needs to be held more.⁣

📸: This Mama Doodles
....................................................⁣⁣
My Children’s Book 𝘐𝘵’𝘴 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘕𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺: 𝘈𝘥𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘉𝘪𝘨 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘛𝘰𝘰 is out everywhere: https://amzn.to/317TvVc

🌻MAKE IT MONDAY

🌺More “Let’s Eat” tips from Debbie, one of our postpartum doulas with Lake Country Newborns. Debbie is a big believer in saying yes when friends offer to bring meals!!! It’s a way for them to show you love and a huge time and energy saver for you.

"Many women come to me and say "I want a peaceful zen birth like the ones I see on social media".
"What would that look like?", I ask.
"I want to be in a pool of water, breathing my baby out, staying in control and not yelling".

They tell me about these "zen" births on social media- often just snippets of the labour put together with some relaxing music over top (I must admit, I like to watch them).

In reality tho, in all of births that I have witnessed, yes there is some breathing and zen moments, but there is also a lot of roaring, sweating, moaning, crying, vocalising, wild movements and noises. Lots of acting "out of control". Lots of pure instinctive expression. It is so important not to inhibit any of this!

To be fully expressed during labour helps us to release the energy that builds in the body. Vocalising is a wonderful way to cope with the intensity of labour and helps us to free tension. We know that tension creates more pain. This is one of the tools we practice in my classes.

We have been well conditioned in society to behave in certain socially acceptable ways. When we act "out of the norm" we can feel shame or embarrassment. Repressing our expression keeps our bodies rigid and keeps us living in our minds and not in our feeling heart.

As part of your birth preparation I recommend you start to express yourself more. Vocally express your pleasure more when making love. Let your body move in ways it wants to- close your eyes and feel. When you feel sad, allow tears to come. When you feel angry, roar into your pillow. Sing loudly when your favourite song comes on. Laugh without inhibition. Make noises- even "inappropriate" ones.

Labour is not something to be controlled. It is for letting go."

📷: Monet Nicole - Birthing Stories

Words by Mothers Circle

🌻MAKE IT MONDAY

🌺Fueling our bodies is so important, especially after baby is born! But here’s the reality…the demand of baby, other family members, work, etc. can sneakily take precedence over caring for our bodies.

🌺Thank you to one of our on board at Lake Country Newborns, Debbie, for sharing these words of wisdom and for sharing this nutrient dense snack idea!

2/3 c creamy nut butter
1/2 c mini chocolate chips
1 c old fashioned oats
1/4 c chia seeds
1/4 c ground flax
2 T honey

Combine ingredient in a medium bowl and refrigerate 30 minutes. Roll into 12 balls and store in fridge or freezer.

🌺No time to prep? We are here and happy to help! Our daytime postpartum specialists love to help with food prep.

🌻MAKE IT MONDAY

🌺More “Let’s Eat” tips from Debbie, one of our postpartum doulas with Lake Country Newborns. Debbie suggests eating and drinking when baby does, even if you don’t feel hungry or thirsty. Just a little something at regular intervals will keep you hydrated and nourished, providing you with energy and preventing a crash from insufficient intake. Getting in this habit helps you be your your best for you and your baby.

🌺Fresh food is always a good choice. Have one of your visitors make some dip and chop some veggies or have your postpartum specialist stop at the store on her way to your home for some. We are all here and happy to help!

I reached a new milestone as a birth doula: A completed contract for my first long distance client. Some people thought I was nuts to take on a client 150 miles away from me. And while I didn't arrive with loads of time to spare, my client was well-cared for by my backup until I arrived, and I was able to support my client both before and after the birth of her son. Here's some takeaways from my experience:

1. An in depth conversation about realistic expectations for all parties is crucial, including things like travel fees and clear communication. A comprehensive contract will help put everyone on the same page so they can make an informed decision if this is the right fit for them.

2. Having a backup doula you trust who is local to the client is non-negotiable. In fact, a double backup might even be necessary if the primary backup is on call for her own clients.

3. With a long distance client, traffic is a definite wildcard to discuss. For me, it meant a drive around Chicago which could have been a nightmare but was thankfully a breeze at 1:00 in the morning.

4. When labor comes on out of nowhere and things move faster than anyone expected, you trust your gut to make the drive after securing your backup, hoping you'll make it there in time for the birth.

5. Two doulas present at a birth is a beautiful thing. One set of hands for holding, another set for wringing out cool cloths for comfort, and two voices softly speaking comfort and empowerment over the mother...AMAZING

6. Having a place to stay lined up ahead of time to rest after the birth is important. In my case, it looked like crashing for a nap at my best friend's house. She even fed me a late breakfast, pie a la mode for dessert, and sent me home with a snack box. How blessed am I?!

While it's not something I would take on frequently, I would say my overall impression of having a long distance client was very positive. I attribute this to having relaxed clients who trusted my judgment and diligence in insuring their support, an incredible backup, an amazing friend to take care of me afterward, and a supportive family back home.

This little sweetheart and his awesome parents have been a delight to work with. When "work" doesn't feel like work, that's a very good thing.

Up early to work on a customized resource packet for my birth client. Over 2 dozen pages of encouragement, education, and research to support her from pregnancy to postpartum. Educating, equipping, and empowering every step of the way.

There's often a lot of confusion about what I do as a doula. The most obvious being are you the same as a midwife/do you deliver babies? (NOPE and NOPE)

Are you a child care provider? Nanny? Housekeeper? A counselor of sorts? While there is a degree of truth to those things at least to some degree, there are so many other hats I wear. Whether I'm supporting a client through their child's birth or helping them post partum, a big part of what I do is being attuned to the family's needs. I recently thought to ask a client if she had any photos of the 3 of them together. This is an amazing new mother to an almost 5 month old, who's crushing it alongside her husband, working fulltime as parents and in their careers. And guess what? My gut feeling was confirmed when she sheepishly answered "no."

Capturing some family photos is such a simple yet incredibly valuable need to fill, so you better believe this is 100% a priority for me to make happen for them. The grateful smile on my client's face when I showed her my commitment to this for her family was a sweet affirmation for why I do what I do.
Love
My
Calling.

✴️TELL YOU TUESDAY

🌷Lots of news at Lake Country Newborns.

🌷We had our first Meet & Greet this weekend and have three community events on our calendar.

🌷Check out today’s blog for all the details!

🌷Link in bio.

Abbey has such a beautiful heart for loving others well in their time of need.

Here's my big news!

I'm excited to share I've accepted a position as a contractor with Lake Country Newborns. Check it out at
https://lakecountrynewborns.com/our-specialists

Motherhood. For nearly 25 years I've been on this journey. And I can say without a doubt that whether I'm referring to one of my children as a newborn or an adult, I've been stretched. Both literally and figuratively.🤪 Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. That's why having adequate support is so vital. It can be the gamechanger of moving from overwhelmed, exhausted, and insecure to thriving as a confident mother whose peace is
knowing she's doing her very best. Who can you support today?

With my last client being this past August due to moving out of state, things have been quiet for me professionally. But it's time to get back to what I love and was called to do. Stay tuned for an exciting update in the weeks to come!

Debbie Dashiell Doula Services updated their business hours.

"How is your pain level right now?"

This is a common phrase heard in the birthing space. Spouses, doulas, medical providers have all asked this compassionate question. But my thinking was challenged yesterday when a client shared that's the wrong question.While it's no secret that birth is physically painful for most mothers, to be reminded of that creates a negative focus in the birthing process. This can lead to deep discouragement and exacerbate exhaustion. A better question to ask:

"How powerful are your contractions right now?"

The wording shift seems slight, but the impact is vast. This question focuses on the strength of the mother and her body and suggests a leaning into the power of each growing contraction rather than fear and discomfort running the show.

Matt and Emily were a delight to work with. We clicked right away, and they welcomed me as an extended family member. This is why I love what I do!

Getting spoiled by a client!🥰

How miraculously amazing is this???

“Kissing your baby changes your breast milk. Did you know that the undeniable urge to cover your baby in kisses serves a biological purpose? When a mother kisses her baby, she samples the pathogens on baby’s face, which then travel to mom’s lymphatic system. Mom’s body then creates antibodies to fight those pathogens, which baby receives through breast milk. What?! Amazing, right?”

http://www.mothering.com/articles/10-things-might-not-know-breastfeeding/ 📸: Dusktildawnphotography

Birth is unpredictable, and for those (like me) who particularly dislike the unknown, that can feel pretty scary.

But it doesn't have to be that way. Even when birth goes differently than expected, its sacred empowerment and beauty is made possible through continuous support from someone you deeply trust. There's safety in knowing you're not alone, with full access to the emotional and professional care to help you persevere . What a privilege to have been part of Lauren's birthing team, witnessing her strength rise up as she was surrounded by the support she needed.

Download your FREE copy of the popular book "Babies are not Pizzas" between now and April 14!
https://evidence-based-birth.myshopify.com/products/babies-are-not-pizzas-e-book

I'm wrapping up a hard week. Not professionally difficult but personally. It's been the deep heartache, feel it down in your bones kind of difficult. Tonight I was scheduled to have a client meeting, and given the week I was wrapping up, it could have been just another exhausting task on my to-do list. But alas, God intended to give me a blessing. My new clients invited me into their beautiful home. They prepared a delicious dinner for me---the best flavor and cut of filet mignon I've ever had, I might add. Conversation and laughter flowed easily. We discussed multiple things related to childbirth, and they even entrusted me with the secret of the name they've chosen for their son. Joyfully, and with the utmost sincerity, they welcomed me into their growing family.

Tonight was a good reminder of how important it is for me to remember my calling. Sometimes, I get so bogged down by piled- up responsibilities and trials of this life that I can forget what makes me "me." I'm a passionate advocate, encourager, educator, and relationally driven. And when I'm engaged in activities that fuel these qualities, I'm the most "me." In those moments, I come alive, refueled by the beautifully cyclical relationship of giving and receiving. Becoming a doula was one of my callings, and it's a decision I'll never regret. Revisit who you are and remember your passions. Life's too short to do anything less.

The words we speak and the meditations of our hearts have the power to beautifully build up or destructively destroy.

To all the mamas trying to get out the door for that first newborn appointment, a post partum checkup, preschool, work, and everything in between...
And the keys are lost, or the baby's hungry, the b***s are leaking, you can't find your bag(s), you missed breakfast because the grocery trip didn't happen and the fridge is bare, and you're running on pure fumes to sustain your energy...

You're doing it! Little by little, you're figuring out this thing called motherhood. Each new phase of parenting brings new sets of challenges with the blessings, but take a look in the mirror. A REAL look. Not at the tired eyes, but at the warrior woman staring back at you. The one who would run through fire for her child. The woman whose countless acts of love day in and day out, which might often seem mundane, are actually building a legacy. The woman whose commitment to her child feels both emotionally fragile and boldly fierce. You are amazing---on the days you believe it AND on the days you don't. You are the perfect mother for your child; own, embrace, and find peace in that truth.