Emotional Self Sufficiency Training

It’s about time! 💙💙

'That's Our Land': Homeless Veterans in LA Hail Court Ruling Ordering VA to Use Campus for Housing The class-action suit was filed in November 2022 by the nonprofit Public Counsel law firm on behalf of 14 unhoused and disabled veterans who had experienced post-traumatic stress and traumatic brain injury.

Definitely! 💙💙💙

This is our newest design

Hello Awesome Ones,

It's been too long since I regularly posted here on Emotional Self Sufficiency Training.

It's been 10 months since I began having some medical issues. Prior to this time I was hiking 5-7 miles around Lopez Lake where we live as camp hosts. I felt great for the first time since my Daddy Bear died on 5/21/2022. I was feeling ready to start again writing and painting after a year working through the grief and caregiver burn out.

Mid July 2023 I was diagnosed with Squamous skin cancer out of the blue. The bumps just popped up and were growing fast. So I had one surgery after another. It was debilitating physically and emotionally as the antibiotics and pain meds were awful. I couldn't hike as being in the sun was not an option with the antibiotics and I had to be careful with the stitches. UGH!

Then other issues came to the surface as well with Hashimoto Hypothyroidism, so feeling the worst fatigue I've ever felt and a whole list of other issues were challenging me. At points I cocooned in my safe place, our rv or sitting outside in the shade. I just did self care for the 10 months. Trust me when I share I was so grateful for my program Emotional Self Sufficiency, as I coached myself through some very dark places. I am afraid to think of how I would have gone through these challenges without the ESS tools and techniques. There were days Fetal Position was a stretch for me. I often felt like I could drown in the Sea of Emotional Overwhelm of Life.

I have come to realize through my coaching of others and myself, that when I am experiencing contrary feelings, sad, frustration, disappointment, etc. I would do the following steps.

*I would focus on what was working in my life instead of what was not working.
*I would reach out to safe people in my life that would not shame be for feeling other than happy.
*I would question my thoughts, reframe them to be supportive and encouraging to move me forward in my life, even if it was just showering and eating healthy.

I just had hopefully my last skin cancer surgery, I am finally feeling like myself again.

Clarity, energy and my passions are flowing again, uninhibited by meds, hormones etc.

Here are a few of my intentions for Emotional Self Sufficiency, ESS, for the page.

1. Finishing the book all about how to live from a place of Emotional Self Sufficiency in your life.

2. Posting again on a regular basis here as I know there are so many struggling in the relationships and more in life.

3. Creating videos/podcasts and more to support others in their lives. So they can live the lives they desire and deserve.

My hearts desire is to be in all aspects of my life.

My Daddy Bear taught me to always leave a place better than you found it. I have broadened that philosophy to mean I desire to leave every person I meet in person, on the phone and on line, better than when I found them.

My heart's hope is to leave them feeling loved, understood and encouraged in their day or lives.

Imagine a world that everyone came from this place and being , It would change so much in our world and others lives for the good.

Huge hugs of love and peace,

BB

https://www.facebook.com/100066611360294/posts/747091117521260/?mibextid=cr9u03

We able to fix our tent till new one comes. Happy to have my zen zone back. ❤️🏕️🏕️❤️
Caught a rainbow on the Lake yesterday. Also just plain gorgeous views on our drive. ❤️

Today, Today, Today is all we have so make the best of it! Make choices that shape the future you desire! Toss the thoughts of the past that no longer serve you. Learn what is necessary to change your future then throw the other ones away, as they will only hinder your future. What was is not what is or will be. Deep Pasta Thoughts Against the Wall of Life. if it doesnt stick for you forget about it, if it does stick keep it and run with it. Have an awesome day as it is all up to you! Hugs, BB

Abundant 2024 to all my amazing friends.
Huge hugs of love and peace.

Larry and I are launching

https://lydia-the-litter-lady.printify.me/products

Be the change in our world. Help delitter your surrounding area. You can order product to reflect your favorite park, area, and city too.
Hugs of love.

Printify Pop-Up

Story that I had to share❤️, not my story.
The cashier’s answer at the end is so beautuful. ❤️❤️❤️

“My heart was warmed at Wal-Mart during lunch.

This gentleman's items were scanned and he was given the total. He looks apologetically back at me and starts taking handfuls of change out of his pockets.

He miscounts and starts to get flustered. Gives me a muttered, "I'm so sorry." His hands and voice are shaking.

This beautiful cashier takes his hands dumps all the change on the counter and says, "This is not a problem, honey. We will do this together."

He continues to apologize to both of us as we reassure him it's ok. They get his transaction handled and he shuffles away.

I looked at this wonderful woman and said, "Thank you for being so patient with him."

She shakes her head and replies, "You shouldn't have to thank me, baby. What's wrong with our world is we've forgotten how to love one another."

I want to be more like her.”

Credit: Spring Herbison Bowlin

So well said.
I only allow 100% mutualy loving people in my inner rings of Saturn, which is me. I give 100% to them too.
As my inner rings go out the people in those rings get less and less of me, my time and energy. Some I boot out to the stratosphere, wishing them well. Yet not giving them an ounce of my energy or nano second of my time any longer.

This way I only give and receive from those who match my love, energy etc.
makes for a peaceful, loving existence.

Jonathon Scott shared this.

Take Heed.
Wise words Originally Posted by my good friend Pat Caddick:
′′Let go the people who are not prepared to love you. This is the hardest thing you will have to do in your life and it will also be the most important thing. Stop having hard conversations with people who don't want change.

Stop showing up for people who have no interest in your presence. I know your instinct is to do everything to earn the appreciation of those around you, but it's a boost that steals your time, energy, mental and physical health.

When you begin to fight for a life with joy, interest and commitment, not everyone will be ready to follow you in this place. This doesn't mean you need to change what you are, it means you should let go of the people who aren't ready to accompany you.

If you are excluded, insulted, forgotten or ignored by the people you give your time to, you don't do yourself a favor by continuing to offer your energy and your life. The truth is that you are not for everyone and not everyone is for you.

That's what makes it so special when you meet people who reciprocate love. You will know how precious you are.

The more time you spend trying to make yourself loved by someone who is unable to, the more time you waste depriving yourself of the possibility of this connection to someone else.

There are billions of people on this planet and many of them will meet with you at your level of interest and commitment.

The more you stay involved with people who use you as a pillow, a background option or a therapist for emotional healing, the longer you stay away from the community you want.

Maybe if you stop showing up, you won't be wanted. Maybe if you stop trying, the relationship will end. Maybe if you stop texting your phone will stay dark for weeks. That doesn't mean you ruined the relationship, it means the only thing holding it back was the energy that only you gave to keep it. This is not love, it's attachment. It's wanting to give a chance to those who don't deserve it. You deserve so much, there are people who should not be in your life.

The most valuable thing you have in your life is your time and energy, and both are limited. When you give your time and energy, it will define your existence.

When you realize this, you begin to understand why you are so anxious when you spend time with people, in activities, places or situations that don't suit you and shouldn't be around you, your energy is stolen.

You will begin to realize that the most important thing you can do for yourself and for everyone around you is to protect your energy more fiercely than anything else. Make your life a safe haven, in which only ′′compatible′′ people are allowed.

You are not responsible for saving anyone. You are not responsible for convincing them to improve. It's not your work to exist for people and give your life to them! If you feel bad, if you feel compelled, you will be the root of all your problems, fearing that they will not return the favours you have granted. It's your only obligation to realize that you are the love of your destiny and accept the love you deserve.

Decide that you deserve true friendship, commitment, true and complete love with healthy and prosperous people. Then wait and see how much everything begins to change. Don't waste time with people who are not worth it. Change will give you the love, the esteem, happiness and the protection you deserve.

Orig. Posted by my friend Pat Caddick

Hello Awesome Peeps

It’s been a long while since I posted on Emotional Self Sufficiency Training

My Daddy Bear who we cared for 7 years passed 5/21/2022

I took time away from social media, my art and just cocooned with hubs and hikes.

We moved closer to 2 of our kids in San Luis Obispo, ca.
Plus 2 Grandbabies. So we are very happy.

We still live in our Rv and are camp hosts at Lopez Lake. A paradise of rolling hills, a very full lake, after all the rain and loads of wild animals and birds.
We love it here. We are surrounded by farms and vineyards. It is rural and a much slower pace than where we’ve lived in Newport Beach ca.

Just like Lake Lopez in Oct when we arrived, I was empty, in need of filling. The lake was 22% in Oct, it is 100% now.
Just as I filled up to overflowing in peace and energy.
I’m ready to write again and I’m painting again. ❤️
I hike 4-7 miles a day, picking up litter as I go. It’s my way to decluttering the beautuful nature here.

I’ve picked up close to 300 bags of trash around the camp found, lake and trails!
It’s been very healing for my soul and the surrounding area.

I gave myself the name
Lydia the Litter Lady. 😂
Funny thought came to me hiking one day picking up trash that I’ve spent my entire life assisting others in clearing, decluttering thier lives of what no longer serves them.
Be it negative thoughts, actions and relationships with toxic people. So it makes total sense why I’m so into clearing nature of trash, as it in no way supports nature.

So I’m back to writing and painting as it is who I am to my core to support and serve others with ideas and ways to clear what no longer supports or serves them.

Huge hugs my friends.
Here are photos of my hikes, paintings and my new logo of Lydia the Litter Lady. ❤️🤗

Awesome Ones it’s been a bit since I posted here on my page.

I hope this post explains my reason why.

Huge hugs of Love, Peace and all you desire in 2023.

The last half of 2021 and all of 2022 was a bit of an emotional, mental and physical struggle for me.

The impact of pregrieving, stress and then full on grieving when Daddy Bear died, I felt like a dropped puzzle box, with pieces all over the place.
I didn’t hike or paint much in 2022. In fact much of the time I watched YouTube on true crime, catastrophes, and other somewhat downer subjects. It was cathartic, in an odd way.

Didn’t socialize hardly at all.
It felt weirdly peaceful too.
So I leaned into it, discovering a lot of who I’d been most of my life, was to fit in, seeking approval, to be needed.

Hmmmm very interesting, as I discovered I could go days with only speaking to Larry and Sarge and be very content.

I had memories of when I was in elementary school telling my friends to go home as I was done playing or hanging out. I wanted to be alone, read, and listen to music.

My brother had alcohol and drug issues as I approached the end of elentary school. All the sudden I was thrown in the role of being happier than I felt, because I wanted my parents to laugh and be happy, instead of sad about Mike.

I’d always been a chatty kid and try to make people laugh, yet I also pulled back to be alone. But then I needed everyone to be ok and be liked and approved by everyone, these feelings drove me for years.

Now my kids are grown, balanced, healthy adults. They don’t need me as they did when younger. After 7 years, I’m no longer Daddy Bear’s Goldie on call 24/7.

Recently, I realized I thrive on listening to music, quiet, reading and hiking and exploring, painting and writing. I’ve found my true self again at 62 and I love her.

I’m quirky as hell, I’m intense and I love my life.
Larry loves me as me, no need to need his approval, he unconditionally loves me. I love him the same. All our broken edges fit perfectly together. 🤗❤️ As if we needed to go through all we individually went through in our early lives, so we’d be broken in all the right places so we’d mesh together as a couple so well.

I’ve recently started picking up trash as I hike at Lopez Lake, where we live now. It gives me deep satisfaction to clear this beautiful place of litter. I listen to the birds, frogs, and deer running through the bushes as Sarge and I startle them, the wind rushing through the trees.

It truly is my meditative Zen Zone. I feel my tired, emptied soul replenished with new passion and purpose.

My desire is to focus on my health, art and writing by ensurung my spirit and soul are deeply cared for by my long hikes in the woods, detrashing this beautiful area as well.

I’ve learned so much about who I’ve been all a long yet was covered by the debris of life. I more or less became an archeologist of my inner landscape. Digging and removing emotional rocks and dirt that hindered my peace of mind and joy in my life.

Thank you for being part of. Y journey.

Views of where we live now, Lopez Lake Ca.

Beautiful

Last weekend home owners found a 5-6 week old female eastern grey squirrel in their yard, crying and walking up to them, dehydrated and malnourished. They brought her in. It was apparent something had happened to mom and after a day or two she had braved her way down to seek help. They were told to please watch and listen for siblings and to call if they found any. The following day another call came, her brother had showed up mid day, very dehydrated and covered in fleas.

Here they are a couple days later, cleaned up, rehydrated, full bellies, and back together.

THIS is why when you can’t reunite with mom you ALWAYS make every effort to find them all, and this is why you NEVER, EVER separate siblings.

Precious love in action

He lived at the gas station and spent hours there. 🐕 The man who owned the station decided to make him a bed. He immediately laid down and spent hours on his new bed happily sleeping. The owner is now in the process of adopting and taking him home!

Animals deserve respect, empathy and family. Well done my Man You are great ❤️

Beauty at its most beautiful.

When she was a little girl
they told her she was beautiful
but it had no meaning
in her world of bicycles
and pigtails
and adventures in make-believe.

Later, she hoped she was beautiful
as boys started taking notice
of her friends
and phones rang for
Saturday night dates.

She felt beautiful on her wedding day,
hopeful with her
new life partner by her side
but, later,
when her children called
her beautiful,
she was often exhausted,
her hair messily tied back,
no make up,
wide in the waist
where it used to be narrow;
she just couldn't take it in.

Over the years, as she tried,
in fits and starts,
to look beautiful,
she found other things
to take priority,
like bills
and meals,
as she and her life partner
worked hard
to make a family,
to make ends meet,
to make children into adults,
to make a life.

Now,
she sat.
Alone.
Her children grown,
her partner flown,
and she couldn't remember
the last time
she was called beautiful.

But she was.

It was in every line on her face,
in the strength of her arthritic hands,
the ampleness that had
a million hugs imprinted
on its very skin,
and in the jiggly thighs and
thickened ankles
that had run her race for her.

She had lived her life with a loving
and generous heart,
had wrapped her arms
around so many to
to give them comfort and peace.
Her ears had
heard both terrible news
and lovely songs,
and her eyes
had brimmed with,
oh, so many tears,
they were now bright
even as they dimmed.

She had lived and she was.
And because she was,
she was made beautiful.

~ Suzanne Reynolds, © 2019

Hi Awesome Ones
I’ve been busy finishing the book and art for our Art with Heart program to raise awareness to donate for Ukrainians support.
Our hearts are breaking for the people of the Ukraine.

Please read below.
Huge hugs of love, peace and safety.

https://www.facebook.com/114209314097790/posts/329207342597985/?d=n

My life Mantra I chose at five years old. It has served me well.

Huge hugs

As long as I can remember I’ve always sought to be happy. I made the decision as a 5 year old eating at a Bob Big Boy’s with my family on the way to visit my grandparents. I watched an elderly couple eating their breakfast. They looked so unhappy. I noticed they never spoke to each other the entire meal other than when the husband asked for his wife to pass the salt. They just sat there eating, looking out the window, at the table, around the restaurant anywhere but at each other. I watched enthralled by their avoidance of each other. I thought is that what being old and married for years was like? You die slowly, just surviving life, void of emotions until one day your body catches up with your lifeless emotions and you completely die?

This thought haunted me as we continued our road trip. I kept seeing the miserable couple siting there in painful silence, nothing to share between themselves. I vowed as I stared out at the vast desert of cactus and sand that I’d never have a marriage like that! I also noted that most old people I knew had mouths that turned down at the corners, like they were stuck in a perpetual frown. This bothered me as I could only deduce that they either experienced insurmountable sadness in their long lives or they had simply forgotten how to smile. I vividly remember the commitment I made to myself as I percolated on the sad couple and old people’s mouths that seemed anchored in the shape of a frown, I’ll never ever be like that as I grew old. I etched in my mind that my life would be so full that my husband and I’d have tons to chat about as we shared our lives together. The second vow was my face wouldn’t look like a painful tattoo of sadness as I wrinkled and turned grey!

As we drove along, seeing my reflection in the window smiling my face lit up. When I frowned the light went out. I decided that I would spend my life being as happy as I could no matter what happened. Though I may experience times of sadness or disappointment I wouldn’t let it take-up residence in my heart or on my face. I think back to that road trip 50 years ago, I realize I’ve lived my vow out to a tee! My husband Larry and I never run out of things to discuss, and I’m still stopped by complete strangers saying, ‘Thank You for your friendly smile as it made my day!’

I know it’s been a long while since I posted.
Huge hugs Awesome Ones of all you desire. ❤️

Love is not about a day, it is a state of being!

May you all experience the ultimate love of all, unconditional love! To be loved for more than your looks, your money, your body, your clothes, for what you've succeeded at in this life, instead loved for who you are absent of all the outer wrappings!

Loved for your inner authentic being.

This love is the juiciest, richest, of all others, nothing distracts this love from being given or shared.
I pray you all experience this amazing love to your very core!

It starts with you loving you so deeply, so intensely, that your self love will overflow, splashing onto others! Absent of needing, just giving it away without expectations of any returning.

The amazing thing about this unconditional love of self and others it is not possible to ever run out, as it is never ending, as you give it away, it comes back to you and so on and so on.

Hello Awesome Ones
I hope you are all well and healthy. It truly has been 2 very strange years.

Sending you hugs of love, peace and clarity❤️

BB Pasta Against Your Wall of Life!
When contrast shows up in my life, I choose to be curious, instead of judging it as good or bad.
Instead I stay in a space of curiosity, as that engages my creative mind to look for opportunities instead of complaining about the obstacle.
Curiosity is key to my creative thoughts and actions to move forward instead of digging a rut of staying stuck in resistance to what showed up.

A post from 2010
What I choose everyday.
Hugs of Love, Peace and Clarity

BB's Pasta Thoughts Against the Wall of Life: What will you do today that inspires you? Who will you inspire, encourage, let them know you love them? Why are you here? When will you take that one step to live into your passion and purpose more fully than ever before? Just asking?

I’m learning oil painting. A challenge but so worth it.

A post from 2012 when I coached on Fort Hood. I so miss coaching and training people on the tools of ESS. Emotional Self Sufficiency Training ❤️❤️❤️
7/2012
Today was just WOW off the charts of amazing happenings. A Soldier came in the afternoon who was just feeling so overwhelmed with everything going on in his life. He also had wanted to see the Chaplain but he was still out so he came to my office. We worked on many things and discussed what he was going thru in his life. The thing that was so incredible, was he looked at me at one point and said I have talked to therapist before about my PTSD but they don't get me and I feel they just don't understand at all. He then said, But with you I don't feel that way at all, even though you are not Military you get me and have a way that I feel I can trust you. sniff sniff I was keeping my tears at bay for the reason me bursting in tears at that moment was not appropriate, so I thanked him for his trust and that meant a lot to me. He at one point began to cry as he was so blown away at the peace he felt and the hope that was coming over him that life could be good again. All I can say is I am the most blessed person to be in this position to serve our Troops who are someone's Sister, Mother, Daughter or Wife, Father, Son, Brother or Husband. To be part of the healing is more than words can express.

BB Pasta Thought Against Your Wall of Life ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Most definitely. I’ve also there is somewhere in the experience; a gift in the gunk, joy in the junk and possibilities in the problem.
Sometimes it feels so dark, yet if we see the gifts, joy and possibilities, no matter how small, they can be lights to find our way out.

Just a lil BB Pasta Thought Against Your Wall of Life

Stand in the light of your visions!
Not in the shadows of your doubts.

Good Day Awesome Ones!
I hope all is well with you and your loved ones.
We have moved our Little Home on wheels, aka a motorhome, up to Idyllwild Ca. We love it here. Quiet, no crowds, or road noise. Just birds and squirrels chattering.
Beautiful woods and vistas to soak in.
I apologize for not posting for a long while. I have been painting more and more as I have commissions for pet portraits and landscapes.
It’s crazy how my desire to learn how to paint watercolors during Covid has become a way to make an income.
We still want to finish the Emotional Self Sufficiency Training book and online course for you.
We were side tracked by health issues, that now seem to be ok.

Here is a little BB Pasta Thought Against Your Wall of Life.
Huge hugs of love, peace and clarity ❤️❤️❤️❤️

BB Pasta Against Your Wall of Life: Speak your truth. Stop being concerned how the other person will take it. Not like hey you look fat in that dress as that is judgment. I mean what is it you choose for yourself in your relationships and life. For example: I choose not to be yelled at or name called. This is my truth you can continue doing the behavior, it just wont be at or with me.
I encourage you to exchange the word 'can't' with the world 'choose' in how you share what is true for you. Instead of 'I can't take your verbal abuse, drinking, drugs, affairs etc anymore' to 'I choose not to be around the behavior any longer.' This is an empowered way of showing up in your relationships. You now have shared your truth, now it is on the other person to choose what they want to do or not do from that point on. Of course these are not just words to be said then not backed up with action by exiting situation and ultimately may mean the relationship. If you desire a more empowered life filled with what you want and deserve you must first show up in your truth by choosing to state it, then act on it. Or it is just more hot air being exchanged adding to more misery in your life. The choice is yours.
Carefully
How
One
Individual
Chooses to
Excel in
Success or Suffering
The Choice is always yours!

This is where we live for now. ❤️

Hello Awesome Ones,
How are you? How are things in your part of the world going?
Larry is fully vaccinated and I have had my first shot. We feel grateful we avoided the virus and look forward to living our lives more freely with family and friends.
This past year has taught me so much about myself. What have you learned about yourself during the lockdowns and isolating?
Here are a few of my discoveries about myself.
1. I always thought I was a pure extrovert, needing social interactions to refuel my energy. Well, I am actually an introvert. I discovered I had created the happy go lucky version of myself to accommodate my family. My brother was an addict from early on in my life, so my family had a lot of sad moments. I developed the Happy me to help ease their sadness.
I realized this during lock down as I was very happy to just write, paint and relate with my husband and quite content to not be social at all.
It was eye opening to me that I was so content to be in the quiet absent of many interactions. HMMM Very freeing actually as now I am not compensating for others feelings.

2. Though I love coaching and training the tools of Emotional Self Sufficiency and plan to finally finish the book and on line course to assist others in living into their authentic selves. No longer dragging their past upsets, traumas into their lives today. To stop fearing or dreading their futures, instead living with the Wonderment of the the unknown, in peace and with clarity.
I discovered I am actually an artist, who loves to paint and create. I feel so at home in my skin when I am painting. It is truly my Zen Zone.
I can paint for hours and not even say one word or notice time has passed.
An awesome thing is others like my work and are purchasing my paintings and commissioning pet portraits and more.

3. I love the slowed down pace of living in the mountains versus down near the beach, where pretentious, money focused people dwell. The noise lever of loud people, planes and cars is a cacophony of sound I do not enjoy.
So Larry and I are moving up to Idyllwild, CA to live full time. It is quiet and people are so much more friendly there. It will be an adventure during the winter in our RV. I have never lived in snow so a true Wonderment of the Unknown. We will be outfitting our RV for winter and see how it goes.
Up in the mountains the most noise are squirrels, birds and wind in the trees. I am so ready for these kinds of symphonies playing throughout our days.

I will keep you posted about upcoming videos, when the book is ready to order and more.
Huge hugs of Love, Peace and clarity.
I’ve included some of my paintings. ❤️

Hello Awesome Ones,

I hope you are well and life is good.
We’ve been focused on healing Larry’s back and I’ve been painting more.
I wanted to share a post from years ago that I believe will support you on to your inner journey to living with Emotional Self Sufficiency.

I wrote this last year I believe it will be a BB Pasta thought that may stick for some of you.

I wrote this to client during one of my text coaching times, yes I do coach some clients through text, I sent a text that I believe is worth sharing.

The individual I was coaching was stuck in how she felt things should be in her life.

How others should be and so on. She was consumed with judgment in regards to how this person and life should be showing up. I encouraged her to let go of her stake of should'ves instead replace it with being in the wonderment of the unknown.

I asked her to listen to her inner wisdom, which is not shrouded in judgment of others but instead glowing from her inner knowing. Wisdom is what we gain from our experiences if we were not consumed with what should've been instead.

This is why you see people not learning from their past experiences, instead they seem to repeat over and over again what has not worked in their past. They never attain, retain the wisdom meant in that moment as they have become identified with their story of how it should've been. So they can hold on to their anger, resentment, hurt, disappointment, instead of gaining inner wisdom meant in the moment.
To then become knowledge as they use it the next time a similar situation arises.

So now they will not continue to repeat drama, trauma and more in their relationships, work i.e. life! Instead they can access the wisdom, apply it as knowledge, to create a different outcome.

Let go of your should'ves, embrace your inner wisdom, apply the gained knowledge, so you can create a life absent of trauma, drama, anger, resentment, disappointment etc. Instead create an inner peace and wisdom that will guide you in all situations.

Oh the juiciness of life when we live free of should've, would've and could'ves! Hugs