Xochitl

Join the fun!

Next episode drops Saturday morning.

I’m pretty delighted to be a part of these conversations and this project.

It’s vulnerable, silly, fun, and rich.

We’d love to include you in the discussion and hear what you think!

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conversations-with-life/id1745184263

Our Pocast is Live! Come explore life, consciousness, spirituality, psychology and more…

https://open.spotify.com/show/007o7mKoksoviLishO9EvW?si=9709844b77aa44b0

Our winter baby is ready to launch!

I’ll be at my downtown Salt Lake Office Mondays March 25 and April 1.
HMU if you’re looking for sexual healing, trauma work, or couples Ta**ra!

Applause for all that work you’re doing on your relationship! Want to explore what’s possible when you add powerful PLAY?!

I’ll come to your place with a customized Ta**ra workshop co-created with you with your relationship in mind.

Get some actual real-time guided instruction on boundaries, communication, consent, energy, sensuality and Eros!

I’ll be downtown Salt Lake on Monday the 26 and I have some openings (including evening)for coaching and Ta**ra.

Last night I did a private custom Couple’s Ta**ra workshop and it might be one of my FAVORITE things I’ve done!

It was SO powerful and because it was more private than the larger workshops I facilitate, things could be adjusted in the moment to participants’ fears, questions, and needs. This helped them catch on to the teachings and practices at a surprising rate.

This definitively has the potential to up-level the connection , communication and trust in a relationship as well as bringing more presence, passion, and play to the table.

HMU if you want to know more!

You can reach me on Messenger, in the comments, or TEXT my work number (I don’t answer calls there) (801) 797-1381.

One more week till we start the Be Your Valentine self-love experience…
Want to jump in?

Note to self-

Beware the voices that draw your attention away from this moment, this day, this life with promises of a greater feast…later.

Or listen to them. Follow their 5-step program on how to gain the world through obedience and subservience and willpower! Get the abs and vacations and money and relationships and spirituality you always dreamed of! It’s a good game…until it’s not.

Until you are tired and raw, willpowered out, depleted of resource and aliveness, weary of clinging and wretched and empty of the promises of that one great “later” day that never seems to really arrive. (PS-death and afterlife is one of the most alluring distractors)

Either way, the table is spread, the feast is on! Heaven is already here and the New Earth is happening. The celebration that life is and ever has been was never anywhere else.

Look at the abundance that you are, the bliss you are swimming in, the feast that is spread on the table where you sit!

Come out of the illusions and distortions that you have conditioned against love. The dramas that never end and never satisfy. Whatever you are waiting for, burn that effigy to the ground and realize it was here all along, it was you all along, it was your one perfectly horrible life all along!

And fall

into fullness
into grace
into life
into love

-oh, and mind the grandiosity , Xoch, it’s a bitch…😉

Something alluring, familiar, and alive stirs this day.

Today! THIS DAY!

I feel this might be the day that called me up 5 years ago.

The song I sing on this morning is the song I heard that day that invited me to risk into something larger than I could have imagined.

Driving between worlds at the break of day I glow with a satisfaction that I only tasted courageously back then.

Darling, darling! Thank you for hearing my song and entertaining the possibility of this sweetness.

Thank you for risking and losing again and again and finding the muse and the music over and over in spite of the shatterings.

Today we meet and bow to each other.

This has been the best January of my life.

At least since 2010 January has been a mental health nightmare for me.

This year has been different.

We’ve had a lot of sickness, a car accident, a child leaving home, and some other deep and private sorrows.

And I don’t think I need to reframe or bypass the very real pain that came with each of those experiences. They were hard! And some felt particularly unfair and stupid. 

I’m just…
More available for love, I guess.

I realized that trying to change the world didn’t work, trying to change people or circumstances didn’t work, even trying to change myself didn’t work.

So I had to finally accept that love is always here in spite of all that. It can’t be controlled, manipulated, bought or earned. It doesn’t even come and go!

It’s just here.

And when I’m also here,

paying attention,

I’m in love!

And I’m grateful.

WHAT IN THE HEAL???!

Join us tonight at Energy Gym on Zoom for an adventure with the concept of healing and healers!

Any idea or identity can either be helpful or problematic, and this one has it’s fair share of notoriety.

How can we notice and understand and move energy around the possible pitfalls of post-institutional spirituality, healing and healers.
Message or comment for a link!

I learned very early the benefits of being a “rule follower”.
And played that game pretty successfully for a good long while.
But as I got older I started to accumulate rules that contradicted each other.
And because I had learned to reference rules instead of building a healthy self to reference from, I was in an almost constant state of anxiety, paranoia, shame and confusion.

So I largely had to give up on rules and start building a self.

This was not instant or easy.

I still find myself “hooked” by certain memes or marketing strategies designed to wake up that part of me that’s afraid I’m not doing it right or that I all I need is to follow some easy steps to…what?!
(Maybe if I’m lucky get a few moments relief from existential pain followed by more shame, more rules, etc. )

So here I am marketing this “self love” course mostly because I wish I had more support than I did figuring all that stuff out.
Someone who deeply trusted my power and my soul path.
Who wasn’t getting off on me following one more set of rules they created.
Someone perfectly open and excited about my exploration whether it matched their trail guide tips and tricks or not.
There are probably things that can make building your personal cup more fun and interesting and inspiring.
I hope you find some of that with me.

But mostly I just wanna hang out, share stories, attune away the shame from all those rules, and affirm your process of creating a self container that works for you.

Life has its own magical plan for you, so I won’t promise specific results.

But I’ve come through this process with a self that has 80-90% LESS anxiety, an immense capacity to meet the polarities of life with ease and grace, an abundance of authentic, healthy, drama-free relationships. And I feel ALIVE!

It’s a fun game and I’d love to walk awhile with you on the path!

If that sounds interesting, comment, message, or check the comments for a registration link.

Time to Be. Your. Valentine! ❤️♥️❤️♥️❤️

This morning’s reading from the Book of Awakening.
Feeling it! ♥️ 🪽🕯️🌈♥️

Our Energy Gym this week is on shadow.
Lots of great stuff! Message for the Zoom link!

Does “self-care” feel like one more burden, one more thing you have to live up to?

It used to for me.

Learning the reasons for that resistance and how to hold and heal those parts of me has been MUCH more impactful and lasting than any of the many pushy programs I’d tried. 

So I offer Be Your Valentine as a gentle, attuned, playful approach to self exploration and love.

So that self-care becomes about care and curiosity rather than achievement.

So that desire can be used to fuel your fullness instead of emphasize the emptiness.

So that empowered pleasure becomes more and more accessible to you in spite of circumstances.

So that when you meet and engage with people they get to experience more of your truth and less of your trauma.

If this sounds interesting to you, let’s talk!

We start Valentine’s Day!

Excited to be back at the office tomorrow!
Just a few openings left:
11:00, 1:00, 6:00
Great time for a fresh approach!

Pushing through resistance or fear with force or grit may lead to a fleeting sense of breakthrough.

But I have had to go back and reckon with all the child parts and innocents I ran over in that process.

If you’re looking for something more gentle, attuned, tender, and long-lasting I’d love for you to join me for a month of play, conversation, and attunement in my Be Your Valentine experience!

It’s one of my favorite ways to be with people on the path because it’s real, personal, and designed with your inner child in mind!

Reach out if you want to play! Starts Feb 14.

I have 11:00, 12:00, and 1:00 appointments open downtown SLC next Monday! Who wants some support with relationship and sexuality?

Tonight’s topic is EMPOWERMENT

If you’re feeling exhausted from the never ending game of self-improvement through grit and willpower and other techniques that reinforce shame patterns, my self-love course starting on Valentines Day might be perfect for you!

The emphasis is on exploration, play, and gentleness: creating a garden of nourishment for yourself from which you will naturally grow authentically.

HMU if you want to know more!

There is no amount of routine, practice, grit or willpower that will make you love yourself. In fact, engaging in these practices before you’ve experienced attunement can actually reinforce the patterns built on unworthiness.

What technology are you currently using as weaponry that you could use for aliveness instead? Think energy, power dynamics, relationships, superiority, advantage…

I’ve had a couple of experiences lately where I saw myself in the mirror or on Marco Polo and just exploded with love and adoration for this being.

And then exploded again with gratitude because for so long it wasn’t like that.

I wanna share my journey and process and practices with others who are bogged down in the shame/worthiness game.

Cause life is amazing and so are you!

I’m hosting a 30 day online experience to help you become the biggest love of your life!

Wanna play?

I’m focusing more deeply on body and nervous system awareness this year.
And I’m homeschooling my kids again.

So far they are loving a nap after dad goes to work: proof that their typical school day was not providing enough sleep.

It’s a bit shocking how “radical” it feels in our society to pay attention to our bodies.

6 years ago someone approached me at a trauma healing conference for health workers.

She said, “I have a message for you. Jesus was a radical.”

Everything changed.
I have no regrets—if the only payoff for my courage is that my kids are SO much more healthy and connected and in way better relationship with their bodies and me—that alone would be worth it.

But it has been so. much. more.

To love someone else is easy, but to love what you are, the thing that is yourself, is just as if you were embracing a glowing, red-hot iron; it burns into you and that is very painful.

Therefore, to love somebody else in the first place is always an escape which we all hope for, and we all enjoy it when we are capable of it.

But in the long run, it comes back on us. You cannot stay away from yourself forever. You have to return, have to come to that experiment, to know whether you really can love. That is the question - whether you can love yourself. And that will be the test.

― Carl Jung

“Self Care” used to be a trigger phrase for me.

I have a whole lifetime of reasons for that, but it’s a huge part of my why for the Be Your Valentine Course. I wanted a more gentle approach to the journey with self than what I had experienced, so I created something a little different:

*The emphasis is discovery and play rather than willpower.
*You can attend the online classes live or watch them recorded, or both!
*The assignments are fun and easy.
*The principles are completely adaptable to your personal experience and pace.

If you want to give yourself a fun and lasting Valentine gift, register below!

Feb 14-March 14
14 live classes Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday each week.
Facebook Group for Support
$97

One of my favorite offerings! Message or comment if you want to know more!

Friendly Christmas

Mother, midwife, Magdalene
Prodigy, Patriarch, Prodigal
Healer in hell
Love and fear
Life and hate
Anger and awe
It was love all along
Be it also unto
me
That every beast and
body
And even fiend
By some good spell
In a stable dark
Or backlit stage or even
Cryptic Cell
Was glad
To tell
of the gift
They gave Emmanuel

-Xochitl