CJ Counseling and Consulting Services

Ask questions. It will save you time.

When I used to be a marriage counselor, I would ask each spouse questions of the other.

➡️ Does your spouse have any ongoing or current medical problems?
➡️ Does your spouse have any mental health concerns?
➡️ Did your spouse witness abuse growing up?
➡️ Was your spouse a victim of abuse as a child?

It was amazing to me that 60% didn’t know the answer. I could tell that some surprised themselves that they didn’t know.

One called me back and said “I was thinking that it’s very telling about our marriage that I didn’t know the answer to those questions.”

In professional and personal relationships we need to learn to communicate and that involves asking questions.

Starting Monday, I will teach my lesson on communication strategies only to my email list.

To get the series, download the “How to respond to employee emails without the power struggle.” ( in bio)

✨We don’t waste time over here ✨

🗣️Get your tickets!! Break the patterns in your personal life that shows up in your business. At Her Hectic Life conference, I will teach you how to lower the overwhelm of what you THOUGHT would happen after achieving a certain level of success. You made a lot of sacrifices to get to where you are and it’s time to get your personal and professional life where you want it.

Early bird tickets ends soon! www.ladieswholaunch2024.com

Don’t miss this opportunity to redefine success on your terms!

✨We don’t waste time over here ✨

I'm so thrilled for my 4th featured article in discussing something many of us feel but don't always talk about—Seasonal Depression. It’s not just 'winter blues,' it's a real issue that affects our emotional and relational intelligence, especially as high-achieving women.

Get the full article on the link in my stories to read the 5 tips on self-care, boundary-setting and more ways to combat seasonal depression.

Remember, your emotional well-being is key to unlocking a life of joy, money, and impact without the burnout.

✨We don't waste time over here!✨

One of my many goals this year was to get featured in major publications and media.

Nice to meet you Essence feature #4. 🥰

‘How to Deal With Seasonal Depression According to Experts.’

(🤫 I’m the only expert in here 😂)

I shared some science- backed ways to combat seasonal depression with 5 tips:

Read them here ⬇️⬇️

How To Deal With Seasonal Depression According To Experts Licensed Clinical Therapist and Leadership Wellness Coach Charese L. Josie shared tips for those who deal with seasonal depression.

Are you ready 🤔

1. Absolutely
2. Maybe
3. Naw Sis

I am honored to be a speaker at the 2024 Clinician Connection Conference in April 2024. 🎤✨ and I want to see you there!

The 2 day conference will be at the beautiful Hilton Garden Inn on the Virginia Beach Oceanfront.

Two days. Keynote sessions. Break-out rooms. And...CEs up for my clinical friends.

Get your ticket today at the EARLY BIRD rate (expires Oct 15th). ✨ [DM for early registration link].

See you at the beach in April

Friday mood 🔥🔥

You have to end well.

Anytime I work with someone, I always wonder: is she running from something or running to something 🤔

I remember a woman who desperately wanted freedom. She didn’t want to answer to a supervisor and she didn’t want to be questioned about her time. She quit her job and decided to be an entrepreneur.

One thing she never addressed is why she wanted (needed) the freedom.

While she didn’t have the demands of the job anymore, she never addressed what “freedom” looked and felt like for her. It didn’t end well.

Whatever your shift is in life (relationships, moving, changes at work, leaving jobs) - you have to end well.

Ask and answer a few questions:

➡️ What am I fighting for?
➡️ Five years from now, what do I want to say and feel about this experience?
➡️ Am I doing something everyday so that when I lay down at night, I say to myself “You did a great job. I’m proud of you.”

✨ We don’t waste time over here ✨

I started my private practice with the intent of having multiple streams of income. I want to speak, write books, get in media and get consulting contracts to provide leadership professional wellness trainings.

In short - I want all of what God has already laid out for me.

This journey will look different for us all and you may not know where your efforts will get you until it’s literally standing in your face.

I’ve taken a “why not?” approach to this…if I want to do something or ask a question and I can’t answer “why not (do it/ask it)” then that’s what I’ll do.

I’m looking forward to coaching the Power Hour in the Profitable Partnership Challenge.

This is a 60-day program that will teach you to identify partnerships, speaking engagements, media and negotiate and secure deals.

Link to learn more and join the challenge is in the comments

She agonized over a choice when there wasn’t one.

A former/colleague friend was asked to sit on an interview panel. She said yes but then realized one of the applicants was her close friend.

She said to me: I have to tell our boss that I have to recuse myself from that interview because it’s a conflict of interest.

I was confused and asked why would that be a conflict. My colleague looked at me just as confused wondering why I didn’t understand why she couldn’t be part of the decision making team for that one applicant.

I said “won’t you supervise your friend if she was hired (yes). And as a supervisor, wouldn’t you have to have hard conversations with your employee (yes) - then if she wasn’t hired wouldn’t you still have to have a hard conversation?? 🤔

Friend: 🚶🏾‍♀️🚶🏾‍♀️💨💨 and proceeds to interview 😁

She learned that she can have hard conversations with the same person on two completely different levels.

Two opposites can still be true = polarization

You can be an effective leader and not want to do it anymore.

You can be sad & angry about the divorce and still know it’s for the best.

You can love your family and still have seasonal contact with a few.

You can love your spouse and kids and still want to be runaway wife & mom.

This my friends is the Art of Acceptance

➡️ once you accept - decision making is a lot easier

✨We don’t waste time over here

That season of trying to find a job I enjoyed, that paid, a home and a man 😩

I went on a job interview years ago and I remember the interviewer being an older white man, sitting with his legs crossed, chewing on one side of his glasses, swinging that one leg looking at my resume.

It felt like a long silence and he looked up at me and said “what are you doing????? Your pay history is all over the place.”

I don’t remember my response to him but I knew that wasn’t the job for me (and he wasn’t going to hire me anyway).

During that time of my life, I stayed in interview mode. I interviewed at various jobs. I interviewed to see if I would be chosen as someone’s wife. I interviewed to make sure others knew I deserved to be in the management position I was in.

You’re interviewing if you’re waiting to be recognized for being a good woman and a valued employee or the best boss chick that’s doing the dang thing.

Instead of interviewing, get in position. Position to get things wrong - to try again - to listen to your own voice (not getting advice and opinions) position to know that everything you think is best for you may not be true - position to receive and not mishandle what you’ve prayed for.

Stop interviewing. Get in position.

✨ We don’t waste time over here

How often are you focused on what’s going to happen and when?

Then you try all of these things only to get frustrated, confused and determine that this is not for you…👀

Your level of awareness will you make a conscious person in your professional and personal life.

DM “leader” to join the High Achievers Network

✨ we don’t waste time over here!!

My two closest friends taught me an invaluable lesson -

I had a hilarious friend. We found a way to laugh at anything!! So when I had a tough time, I would immediately call her. One rough patch lasted most of a school year.

Years later, I remember being so angry (so much so that I have no idea what I was angry about) and I called my other friend to vent.

All I can remember is the anger I felt in my chest when I was telling her what happened. I knew I was yelling on the phone but couldn’t find a way to calm myself down. Her response: let me call you back.

I felt defeated but immediately felt my body calming down from all that intense anger that I put on my friend.

I realized that I was too dependent on one to make me laugh and the other to reason with me.

It was unfair and added unnecessary pressure on the relationship.

In parenting, supervising, friendships and marriage, I ask myself two questions:

1. What do I want them to do?
2. Have I taken time to care for myself first?

📍The lesson: Be the change you want to see…

✨ ✨Because we don’t waste time over here

“Go ahead and free yourself”

Fantasia SANG ‘Free Yourself’ from her toe nails through her throat!!

It was one of her earliest successful singles.

As she toured, fans begged her to sing her successful hit but she declined. She asked the females “are you married or in a relationship” and they would answer “no but I’m looking and hope to find one.”

Fantasia said “well keep singing that song and you won’t.” Fantasia was finally in a healthy marriage.

Over the past few days, I’ve overly consumed shows and social media that does absolutely nothing for my personal or development growth. I’ve noticed a shift in my mood.

This morning, I purposely turned on a podcast that I enjoy and I instantly had a pep in my step & I engaged in only fulfilling conversations (this one is my norm).

What you consume will be who you are and how you view the world. Use ⚠️.

What’s on your Netflix list??? 👀

We don’t waste time over here!!

“If you start for the wrong reasons, you’ll quit for the wrong reasons.”

One of my friends was upset for 3 days about her performance evaluation. She didn’t like/respect her supervisor and didn’t agree with her ratings and the written narrative.

After listening to why she was mad, I kept hearing a lot about her supervisor (and thinking how much power this person had over her — 3 whole days 😳)

I asked her why was her supervisor’s opinion of her so important. — because she believed this one person held the key to future promotions.

I asked her what is her ultimate goal - she wanted to manage people and be the leader at work and be seen as the responsible (‘I made it!) person in her family.

I asked her what would her life look like if she achieved all of that — she responded with 🦗🦗

She was deciding if she should quit her job. ✨Meanwhile, her understanding why she worked so hard for the applause of others would follow her everywhere she went.

We don’t waste time over here!!

Continues to sip mimosa….🍾🍾🍾

Experience is NOT a good teacher.

When I speak with someone more seasoned (older) than me, I love to listen to their stories and experiences.

But I don’t accept it as all truth and not always wisdom. I listen for respect of my elders sharing their view of the world.

What I take from it depends on how they share their EVALUATION of their experiences.

There a lot of people sharing their experiences (just watch social media and the thousands of relationship podcasts 🙃).

If they are not sharing their evaluation of their experience, the experience is theirs to respect but not for you to take it on as a shared experience.

Be careful what you consume, the advice you get and what you do with that information.

If it’s not evaluated, it’s simply just an experience. ❤️

You get lost in solving problems forgetting that the key is to not understand the problem; it’s to understand the people

You can’t skip getting to know you.

I had someone come to me years ago and she had one goal - to get married. I immediately wondered if getting married was in alignment with who she is or NOT getting married was more aligned with the woman she needed to learn.

After 4 years in business, I realized I spent so much 💵 for people to tell me who I should be to achieve my business goals.

Anytime in my life that I tried to fit in, things became a mess. Once I accepted that people initially will have their negative perceptions and curious ‘what are you doing’ questions - that’s how I knew I was on the right track.

Skipping the part of you that accepts the strengths, challenges and everything in between will cost you time, money & your aligned gift.

And we ain’t wasting no more time over here!!

Oh and she learned the woman who she needed to be and I’ve never seen her happier ❤️

Years ago, a friend was talking about how exhausted she was with all the things she had to do.

She said “but I don’t understand why since I’m not married and don’t have kids.”

Her statement told me that it wasn’t about what she was doing - It was about how she viewed herself.

What was keeping her busy:
👉🏽 the thought that she must be busy to avoid being viewed as lazy
👉🏽 her experience told her that being busy made her valuable
👉🏽inconveniencing herself told those she cared about her level of commitment to them

Overworking leaders; overworking moms; overworking wives -

Repeat after me 👉🏽
It’s not your burden to figure it out

Give me a 🙌🏽 if you got your copy of Two Witty Girls!!

Link in bio to purchase!

TOMORROW is the DAY!! 🥳

The girls are ready to launch their book!

Although they ask me "If it's our book, why is your name on it?"  🤷🏽‍♀️🤔😂

Join us tomorrow, June 24th 11-1 at The Book Club 620 High Street Portsmouth, VA as we celebrate the release of Two Witty Girls.

The girls will be there to sign your copy and you'll have a chance to meet them and get some photos!  We will have some prizes and raffles.  

Can’t make it? Order your copy www.twowittygirls.com (link in bio)

See you tomorrow!

Never lose sight of the bigger picture of your story. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Always remember that you are a child of God, and you were born to create and make things happen. ⁣⁣
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Be bold, be fearless and do what makes your heart sing! You can do anything if you put your heart into it. ⁣⁣
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Never stop dreaming, never stop talking and never stop believing in yourself. ⁣⁣
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The girls' book is on pre-order so order your signed copy today!⁣⁣
⁣⁣
https://bit.ly/twowittygirls

Radio interview today on WNSB HOT 91.1 FM

Listen ⬇️⬇️⬇️ at noon EST

http://iheart.com/live/881-whov-5599/

biz

Two Witty Girls is on the move!⁣
⁣
Join us Saturday, June 10th from 12-3 at The Literature (LIT) Fest⁣
Ivy Baptist Church⁣
50 Maple Avenue⁣
Newport News, VA 23607⁣
⁣
Get your signed copy of Two Witty Girls. ⁣
⁣
🤔 Can't make it tomorrow? No problem, we still have the Book Launch, Saturday, June 24th. ⁣
⁣
All copies received at the LIT Fest, Book launch or ordered before June 24th, will be signed by Cam & Cari! ⁣
⁣
https://bit.ly/twowittygirls⁣

Two Witty Girls is on the move!⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Join us Saturday, June 10th from 12-3 at The Literature (LIT) Fest⁣⁣
Ivy Baptist Church⁣⁣
50 Maple Avenue⁣⁣
Newport News, VA 23607⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Get your signed copy of Two Witty Girls. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
🤔 Can't make it tomorrow? No problem, we still have the Book Launch, Saturday, June 24th. ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
All copies received at the LIT Fest, Book launch or ordered before June 24th, will be signed by Cam & Cari! ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
https://bit.ly/twowittygirls⁣⁣

‘Two Witty Girls’ book launch is in 3 weeks!! 🙌🏽

RSVP here ⬇️⬇️

https://fb.me/e/UjildVKb?mibextid=RQdjqZ

Saturday, June 24th 11-1pm
Portsmouth, VA

If you’re unable to make the book launch, pre-order TODAY! ⬇️⬇️

https://bit.ly/twowittygirls

All pre-ordered books will be mailed on June 26th and signed by Cam & Cari.

✴️ Remember to choose your quantity and share with friends ❤️

Choose your quantity:
On your mobile device -click “details” under the Two Witty Girls picture, then hit the “QTY” drop-down and choose your number

On your desktop - On the payment screen, in the yellow box on the left side and then click the “qty” drop-down.

✨Two Witty Girls is for adults to inspire you to laugh, be positive & enjoy life through the lens of a child.

Signed
Cam & Cari
Mommy & Daddy

My college roommate celebrated her wedding anniversary. I was so happy for her and her husband.

I was literally cheesing thinking back on their wedding day.

The only thing is I couldn’t recall anything. The venue, the decor, her dress, the colors …nothing.

I actually panicked because I couldn’t remember anything.

That’s because I didn’t go.

I was too wrapped up in my own life…in my thoughts…my goals..what I achieved and what I didn’t achieve yet.

I was trying to beat life and forgot to actually live in it.

I was stagnant. I lacked connection and depth.

When you think you’re not good enough..try connecting with someone - something outside of yourself.

The view is different there ❤️

The best leader knows their strength sometimes relies in their silence.

We all started with a level of innocence. We’re learning, growing and thriving as we go through life. There is no better time than now to laugh!

We aspire to be the best version of ourselves while we enjoy what life has to offer - with love in our ❤️s and laughter in our souls.

Join us at the ‘Two Witty Girls’ book launch!
Saturday, June 24th 11-1pm (presentation at 1130am)
The Book Club
620 High Street
Portsmouth, VA 23704
Order and get your signed copy at the launch.

If you’re unable to make the book launch, pre-order TODAY! 🥰

https://bit.ly/twowittygirls

I wanted to get married and have kids since college - not a good idea 🤦🏽‍♀️…

After undergrad (VCU 🙌🏽) and grad school (NSU 🙌🏽) there was no husband in sight.

I was set to move to Maryland for a fresh start and guess what - I met my husband.

If I wasn’t focused on the goal of checking that last life “you did a great job” box, then I never would have married him….that ended in divorce.

The GOAL was to get married and have kids but I should have been focused on the OUTCOME.

The goal was my end result but the outcome told me the steps to pay attention to.

👉🏽 What kind of man is good for me?
👉🏽 Who would I be as a wife and mother?
👉🏽 Can he support my strengths and challenges?
👉🏽 Can I support his strengths and challenges?
👉🏽 Do I have the strength, insight and courage to walk away if all the above are not good for me?

When I focused on the OUTCOME, the goal was no longer my focus.

I could see, hear and feel like never before. I married again and this time the outcome gave me peace and clarity where the goal gave me anxiety and pressure.

About to celebrate 13 years of marriage and we have 2 beautiful girls ❤️. This is better! This is authentic!! This is right!!

I was wrong - getting married and having kids was a good idea but my reasons were horrible.

Celebrate with us by ordering your copy of
‘Two Witty Girls’ or join us at the book launch on June 24th 11-1 in Portsmouth, VA

https://bit.ly/twowittygirls