•Abused•SHHH•

Check me out the real reason I have problems

It has been a minute since I have posted. It’s time to share the progress I have made. So I will be into my own bedroom soon but for now I am still in my sons room. He is such an Angel and we have such a strong bond it’s the only way I have remained happy and sane thru this hard time with his dad but he deserves his own space and privacy. My aunt gave me a Cricut and I am happy to order some shirts and get busy with a hobby and possibly make some side money making unique items for people and promoting positivity thru hard times. I have accumulated a few things for the baby who is coming soon. That feels good and like progress. Finances are hard and I am having car problems but I got my W2 finally and should get a small amount back for taxes this year. I just want to say never quit dreaming and believing and keep praying. God knows what he is doing at the end and beginning of the day. Surround yourself with God and positive happy things even when you can’t control the bad, hateful, stressful things around you or in your way. I have to believe everything will work itself out because I know I keep doing my best even when I feel like sleeping it all away and and I know I keep doing the next right thing. Night... Xoxo
Stay Strong, Breathe Easy

I know I have not shared in a few days but things are getting worse. Things are bad again. I am done wishing this will change. They won’t on my terms but I can set into place the things that I am able to in the mean time so I can get out of here. Pray for me. I always Pray for all of us who are trapped in this web. Night

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Depression is such a pain but if you open yourself up to overcoming it you become a better person. I really want to post everyday but some days are harder than others. Today has been restful. The kids didn’t have school because of the holiday so it was a Lego and nap day. I have to dig deep to get the baby’s room ready. I want to invest in a Ninja so me and my family can have fresh fruit and veggie smoothies everyday and hopefully help our overall health and energy. I swear if I had the means to bring in a professional cleaner slash organizer I would. It’s hard to know where to start. No fights today and he and I cooked dinner together ish… I asked him to schedule a swim for us at the Y and he said he would so looks like we are going for a swim on Thursday evening! This will be relaxing for my belly. I’m getting big. Anyway I’m grateful for this outlet and opportunity to be able to share my life and hopefully help other women in my shoes. Xo

Life is really too short to stay in a sh*tty relationship.

Friendly reminders 😉

TOXIC IS TOXIC

GET OUT! RUN RUN RUN!

I choose to not participate in the silence that protects perpetrators and isolates survivors.

After I ESCAPED & divorced my abusive husband, I lost custody/contact of my 8 children, including my nursing infant. My ex-husband legally stalked me for 22 years -1996 - 2018 - 50 court related hearings to date. 😞 Cost $250,000 - INSIGHTS Priceless!

I legally changed my name & have lived under an address protection program from my ex-husband since 1999.

The truth is inherently powerful. Remember that.

Posted by Coral Anika Theill
Author, Advocate & Military Reporter
D.V., R**e & Ritual Abuse Victim/Survivor
Erased & Alienated Mother of 8

Memoir: BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark (Oct. 2021 edition)
How I survived - How I escaped

ORDER at Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Bonshe%C3%A1-Making-Coral-Anika-Theill/dp/1475981813/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

FIVE STAR REVIEWS https://www.coralanikatheill.com/bonshe-making-light-of-the-dark-

Website: www.coralanikatheill.com

"A victim's first scream is for help; a victim's second scream is for justice." - Coral Anika Theill, BONSHEA Making Light of the Dark

​The price for my own safety and freedom in 1996 was an imposed, unnatural and unwanted separation from my eight children, including my nursing infant. The injustice committed against me is not just the physical separation from my children, but the willful desecration of the mother-child relationship and bond, a sacred spiritual and emotional entity.

I escaped him but lost what was most precious to me - my 8 children, including my nursing infant. I survived and lived to write my life story.

Everything I am going through is planting som**hing valuable in me.

From the I am app:

I am - Positive Affirmations Daily affirmations help rewire our brains, build self esteem and change negative thought patterns. Empower yourself by verbally affirming your dreams and ambitions. Choose from many daily intentions and set reminders to be delivered throughout the day.

I want this to be a place that you can share everything...
My son is at a sleepover tonight so I’m grateful for that. His dad is a decent and charming person when he is sober. He is extremely abusive emotionally and mentally otherwise. I was taking a nap after spending the day volunteering at my sons school and he comes home from work and asks where our son is and I told him he was at grandmas for the night with his cousins... he kicks me out of our bed which is more comfy because I am 6 months pregnant and deadbolts the doors shut so he can blast nasty, repetitive, mainstream music. I am a huge music girl so atleast play som**hing tasteful and not the same crap night after night. Well, he has been leaving a lot thru the night… we were in bed the other night and I saw him sending nasty pics to someone on instagram… it’s that blatant and rude and hurtful…and he just left a few minutes ago so now I can return to my room. I don’t even want to sleep with him anymore because it feels dirty with all of his cheating and drug use, it could hurt my unborn baby and he has no remorse or care in the world other than for him having fun. He is a functioning addict. He is a union electrician and pays all of the bills but he has a crystal m**h habit and when we met I didn’t know him this way. We had 3 wonderful sober years. After that he has never been able to stay clean for more than a month or two. I have a plan. I have gotten out before but it required me to leave my kids behind and I promised I would not leave them in this toxic environment ever again. He has an all night music and p**n binging routine and it’s super unhealthy. I have never known a big burly grown man to have a drawer full of vibrators… I have had a lot of issues supporting myself financially that’s the main reason I am still here. It sucks to see the person you love not care for you in return and be this mentally disturbed. I have mental health issues of my own that I have addressed and am doing really well. He doesn’t physically touch me anymore after he got a DV. But, he convinced me not to show up to court so he was never charged. He will throw things at me like metal paper towel holders and glasses of cold water… I have been diagnosed with PTSD. There are issues and arguments every day or atleast every other day. I have got to a great place spiritually and with my sobriety that I am ready to file papers to get rights to my kids back. No matter what, anyone in this situation, don’t use over it! Being sober is a huge thing to have on your side and your kids deserve sober parents! My family is supportive and if he never has any consequences he will never learn. I have had many consequences for my actions and it has got me to a great place to be able to stand up for me and my kids. This isn’t going to haunt us much longer. I am going to reach out to some resources and see if I can get help getting into my own place before the baby comes. It isn’t healthy here. I pray he gets sober but I have to live this life for me and for my kids and for God. I have to learn to support myself! I got a little job and plan to get a computer so I can find some work from home and pay my own bills and heal thru writing a book and starting my own trendy T-Shirt Business. I am young and beautiful and come from an amazing family and I feel for everyone and love deep. I have already divorced this man. Now I just need my kids, atleast whatever the court feels fair, and to keep moving forward. He is not nice and very controlling and fails to see his part ever I am always to blame and I have been called nasty names for years daily in front of my son. I want this page to be motivation to other women who are suffering in silence. Take the steps to take back your life. We can do this even though we believe we can’t because of what they say to us and how they make us feel. I dream and fantasize about hitting the lotto or someone with a lot of money swooping in to save me and my kids and get me set up with a property and little home of my own and a more reliable car but I have to work hard and find my own way and anyway if I never start speaking up about all of it at one point then I will stay in the same nasty space. I am brave. We are brave. Pray. Never give up. Start healing today.