Z.YourDoula

There are plenty of ways to help a mother after her birth. ASKING TO HOLD HER BABY is not one of them!

As the mother, she's worried about the things.

The laundry, the meals, the older children, school drop offs & pickups, groceries, tidying the house, animals, gardens, and so on.

A mothers job is never done.💪

Instead of asking to hold her newborn, who she is still getting to know herself, ask her how you can help.

If you know their routine and you're one of the few that gets invited into their birth space, just do the damn thing.

Refill her ice water, make snacks just for her, prep her veggies for dinner, pull the beef from the meat freezer, wash a few dishes, take her trash out, pick up after her toddler. 🤗

Most importantly, don't let her do it all on her own while you wait to hold the baby. Because 9 times out of 10, she will hand the baby off to go do those tasks, and that's not supporting her.

If she hands you the baby, encourage her to sleep. Encourage her to go seek some sunshine by herself, give her time to find herself again under all the milk, sweat, and tears.

ASKING TO HOLD THE NEWBORN, ISNT SUPPORTING THE NEW MOTHER. WE CAN DO BETTER.

Something we see so often is a family welcome a new baby, and the messages flood in.

"When can I come meet her?"
"I can't wait to meet him."
"You gonna share that baby?"
"Bring me the baby to snuggle."
"When can we come meet the baby?"
"Auntie can't wait."

While all of those seem nice and polite, those can be some of the most invading words without even realizing it. 🫢🫣

Nobody is entitled to your baby. You aren't entilited to anyones baby, no matter the relation. 🙄

You don't have to let anyone come over the day you come home. You don't have to feel guilty for not wanting to answer to everyone. The mother and the baby are the ones who should be being catered to.
Instead of asking when you can come meet the baby, try asking:

"Do you need anything?"

"Can I cook a meal for you?"

" I'm making ______ for dinner. Would you be interested in some?"

"I'm in town running to do my errands. Can I grab you anything."

"I know it's been a while since you've been outside. Can I bring some snacks and come sit in the sun with you?"

If you are lucky enough to be invited into the mothers nest, bring something beneficial.

A meal, cold drinks, finger foods, bath sitz, plants, or even just positive encouragement.

Bring something to support the mother, but most importantly, respect her boundaries. Mothering the mother gives the baby the best gift.☺️ 💜

Share with your friends to spread the reminder! ✨️

Birth mantras can help change your head space tremendously when in the midst of labor! 😉 Practicing birth mantras throughout pregnancy keeps you in a calm yet present head space, and that paves the way for a smooth birth. 🌿🌬

Share these mantras with all the expecting mamas on your feed! 😊🤰

Today, we celebrate the true goddess this woman really was. 40 years old today, and looking back, I spent more than half of both of our lives consuming her pure love and joy. Selfless, caring, outgoing, and wild as all get out, she truly didn't care what anyone thought of her, and no one could take her shine. We experienced some of our toughest times together. I was a child, and she was still a young adult, but that didn't change the bond for 1 second. I have very vivid memories, or each time she was pregnant. I remember the morning sickness. I remember "I eat cherrios in the morning because when i throw up, it tastes like coffee." I remember how the outcomes were. I remember the heartbreak. I remember she was very heavily pregnant, and then she just wasn't anymore. I remember the feeling of her hugs and the sound of her tears. She was strong no matter what. She continued to be herself always, and for that, I will always hold her strength. She didn't let people's options bother her. She wasn't scared to feed her babies whenever, wherever. She had stretch marks on her tummy and breasts, and she never talked down on herself or blamed the babies. She simply lived her life the way she wanted and was unbothered by the things that usually cause a ruckus in other people's lives. "Why worry about the things that aren't in your control?" The purest form of hippy woman and I couldn't be more thankful and blessing to have been raised as one of her own. As I go through my daily life, I see so many influences from her. She is a huge reason why I navigated towards being a Doula. Her natural and unnatural experiences, along with my own mother's, are the reason I support women. I wouldn't want anyone else guiding me from the stars. 💫✨️

Pregnancy can be hard. It doesn’t matter if it’s your first baby or your 10th baby, it can be overwhelming.🌸

“Baby born en caul. An en caul birth is when the baby is born, still inside the amniotic sac (caul). This might make it look like the newborn is gift-wrapped in a sift, jello- like bubble. 💓”

Repost:

During last night's full moon, I sat down an held a fertility blessing. ✨️ Calling to our universe to let the babies know that their families are waiting for them, whenever they are ready. These families have reached out to share with me that they are actively trying to conceive, and In my heart, it only feels right to use my love for pregnancy and birth to send the blessing. Sitting down in the moonlight with my moonwater, crystals, birth art, plants, and all my birth treasures brings me so close to myself. I love this job, and I love these families.🥹💓 Sending love to you through whatever phase of motherhood you're in!

“I Won’t Hold Your Baby

…unless you ask me to, in which case, I will snuggle and cuddle your baby as much as you want me to.

I never ask my clients if I can hold their baby. In fact, I rarely ever touch my client’s baby if I can help it. Sounds sort of like the opposite of what you might picture of a doula, right? We must all be birth crazy, baby obsessed women who just want to cover babies in kisses and love and get an emotional high from attending births?

Not this doula.

I LOVE attending births. Call me crazy, but getting those middle of the night calls is one of my favorite parts of this job. I get to listen to someone at their most vulnerable times - the excitement, the hesitation, the nervousness of the unknown. Being able to provide some comfort, reassurance and continuity of care to the people I work with is so important to me (and them!)

Rushing off in the night, quietly getting myself ready, getting in the car and heading off to their home or hospital makes me feel like I’m on a secret birth mission that nobody around me knows about. When I arrive I fall as seamlessly as I can into the rhythm of the birth and start supporting my clients in whatever way they need most.

When the baby arrives I step aside and leave room for the new parents to discover their baby. I try and grab some photos (I’m not a birth photographer though, so keep your expectations in check!) and then I only step in if my client needs me for some reason.

Why does that matter? Why won’t I ask to hold your baby? Simply because: they are yours, not mine. I want you to be able to hold your baby as close as you want, for as long as you want without anyone interrupting that time. There will be enough people coming along in the next few hours and weeks who need to take that baby out of your arms for whatever reason, and tons of friends and family who will offer help by “holding the baby”.

Instead, I want to hold you, whether that’s in my arms, in my heart or my thoughts. By supporting and “holding” you, I don’t need to hold your baby. But if you ask me to, I would LOVE to.”

Written by

Heads up- I had to change the time for Breastfeeding Support Group this time! This Saturday it’s 2-3:30. After this we’ll plan to continue our regular times. As always, it is by donation. If you’re able, I would so appreciate the support for my work by cash or venmo ❣️

See you there!

For as long as I can remember, I have been infatuated with pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum journey. Having 10 siblings and being an auntie to more than 10 babies probably has a huge part in why I navigated my way towards being a Doula. Honestly, when I think about why I serve women through this time in there lives and it all stems from the care they receive. As soon as a woman announces, she's pregnant, so many outside forces start pouring in, and most of the time, they aren't helpful. I was deeply saddened every time a mama around me felt scared and out of options. I started to notice a pattern. Regular cervical checks around 36 weeks, talk of induction at 37 weeks, membrane sweeps at 38 weeks, and artificial rupturing of membranes before 40 weeks. None of this seemed natural to me. My mother, stepmothers, sisters, and my aunt were treated with some form of disrespect or dishonestly while undergoing the biggest transition on their lives. Since then, I have learned to step in, ask questions, resource education, offer evidence based information on psychological birth, and support all kinds of births, and I have no intention of stopping. Birth work feels like home, and no birthing family should go unsupported. I was a Birth Doula long before I even knew what that term meant, and I wouldn't have it any other way! 🫂💫❤

The brewer method or bradley method is used to prevent anemia, pre-eclampsia, hypovolemia, gestational diabetes, and other nutritional deficiencies. Someone who has previously had an eating disorder, has high blood sugar during pregnancy, or trouble gaining weight should follow this “diet” strictly. The method is essentially a guide or a road map to help you stay at the peak of nutrition. A pregnant body is always in motion even if the physical body is at rest. Feed it, nourish it well. 👩‍🌾

Suggestions:
☆Grass fed meats, including organs

☆Milk and Dairy products

☆Blackstrap molasses

☆Raw almonds

☆Peanut butter

☆Green vegetables

☆100% whole grains (no bleached breads, bleached flour, or rice)

☆Animal fats, avocados, nuts

☆Fruits, especially the bitter ones

☆Drink water to thirst

☆Salt food to taste

☆Liver consumption

☆Whole baked potatoes

☆Farm fresh eggs

☆Root vegetables

The diet suggests you get 4 milk or dairy options, 2 eggs any style, 6 to 8 protein options, 2 dark green vegetables options, 5 whole grain options, 2 vitamin c options, 3 healthy fats or oils, 1 kind of vitamin a source, beef liver and unlimited salt and water every single day.

The benefits help before pregnancy, during pregnancy, and even into postpartum. The diet supports a healthy mother, baby, and breastmilk that's rich in vitamins and minerals. Being intuitive with your food consumption is key. Knowing that food is medicine can be life changing, and it helps support a healthy new generation.💓 Homecooked, hand prepared meals aren't just supportive of a healthy body but also supportive or a healthy lifestyle. This doesn't mean you have to cut out your favorite snack or your favorite restaurant, but instead be more thoughtful to what else you're consuming that may be contributing in an unhealthy way. Highly processed and vegetable oil filled foods can cause inflammation in the body, and that can be very negative on the body, let alone a pregnant or postpartum body.
has an amazing highlight about her experience using this diet. 🤗 🌟

On this day, 17 years ago, a beautiful bright full moon took over the night sky a baby was born. 🌝 My mama was admitted to the hospital, the epidural was administered, and moment by moment, we all waited. I remember the vocal sounds Mama was making, almost like a constant hum, to push out the pressure she was feeling. Soon, enough transition happened, and Mama was gone inside her body. Present physically, while also in her birthing world mentally! 🪐 What an experience to witness as a 5 year old, and I still remember all the feelings. Once it was time to push, mothers ob looked at me and said, "Are you gonna deliver her? Grinning ear to ear while watching my mothers body get closer and closer to fetal ejection. I remember wanting to say yes to catching her, but being so filled with oxytocin, I chose to stand on the counter so I could have the absolute best view while still being able to see Mama. I would have layed in the bed with her if I could. Still today, when I enter the birthing rooms in the hospital, I get chills from this experience.🫶 Mama roared Jazmin earthside, and we all fell in love with this chunky little blessing laying on Mama's chest. 17 years later, and i am still in awe at how beautiful birth is. How different birth is. How strong women are. I'm so thankful I got to witness such a beautiful birth with my mama. My first live birth and her smoothest birth all in one. My birth was very traumatic, and then years later, my brother was also born via very traumatic birth. My mama clinges to bliss she felt during her second birth. As it was nothing like her first and last birthing experience. It was an experience no one change or take from her. She was in control, and no one took her baby from her. Seeing and listening to her perspective on birth has been the most healing gift for me. I also truly feel so special inside that my own mother birthed my passion for birth just by sitting and experiencing with her. 🥹 Having a very large, mostly girl family means someone has to be on births side. So I picked me. I'll be the voice. I'll be the advocate. I'll be there for you. 17 years loving and supporting our greatest gift. Creation of life. 💓

Learn about Sphincters law here. 💫❤ This method is very beneficial, and it helps reduce postpartum stresses on the body. Releasing tensions and moving the body internally is some amazing work that can not be matched by coached birthing techniques. It also aids in a quick healing journey, which is the healthiest for both mother and baby. 😊

Did you know about the Sphincters law?🤔 Share with me below if this is your first time learning about this method.💜
Don't forget to share with your friends!

Medical induction can be helpful in many ways. Unfortunately, more often than not, it's a routine process. Many babies are born premature due to inductions. Having an induction is simply trying to pick a time and day your baby will be born. What if the baby isn't ready? What if the baby still needed a nothing week or so of lung development? You can't put them back once you've birthed them, so why the hurry? What about when the baby isn't born within the 24-hour induction period? Did you know that you only have 24 hours to give birth after your induction? What happens if you haven't birthed the baby in that time frame? "Emergency cesarean" is usually the next step for "failure to progress." Did your body really fail you, or did you listen to your ob who disrupted your laboring process and tried forcing your baby to come in a certain amount of time. Did you know that when you choose to have an induction, they use pitocin to "help" bring the contractions on and "get things moving?"" Pitocin is a synthetic hormone that is supposed to replicate oxytocin. Oxytocin is our happy hormone, and it starts contracting the uterine muscle. Pitocin is given through IV to keep contractions steady, which can cause more pain than the natural pain surges. Our bodies need time to stretch and accommodate the little body coming through. Pitocin doesn't offer the breaks our bodies need to stretch slowly. Pitocin is also administered in a higher dose than what the body naturally produces and sends out through the body.
Inductions and pitocin go hand in hand, and you will almost never have an induction without having pitocin as well.
Having an induction also increases your chance of infection, lowers the babies heart rate, uterine rupture is way more common, and it's increases the risk of "needing" a cesarean overall. Break the cycle. Skip the induction. Stop letting your care provider control you. Trust the process. Trust your body. Trust your baby. Trust physiological birth.
Medical interventions can be live saving. My own mother and brother would not be here on this earth without the help of a cesarean, but I still see more cesareans due to "failure to progress."
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Once active labor starts, it is often that the first reaction is to tense up and hold the pain in. 😖

Naturally, that seems like a good coping mechanism to get you through labor, but it's actually the opposite.

Holding your breath and tightening up your body to manage the pain can create tension in the wrong muscles. 💥

Your abdominal muscles and pelvic muscles need to be relaxed for the baby to pass through smoothly, and if you tense up during every contraction, you are stalling the natural labor process and your body starts holding onto the tension.

Breathing techniques and being very vocal are both great ways to keep all those muscles relaxed while still moving them frequently. Humming, singing, moaning, and vocal noises create vibrations deep in the body that can ease the nerves and be an internal pain manager. 🗣

Constant movement is also a great way to manage pain surges. There are so many options when it comes to effective labor progression and getting the baby in the proper birthing position. Movements like lunges, squats, swaying, pelvic tilts, dancing, kneeling, and supported leaning all keep the baby engaged and offer great tension relief. 😀

Keeping your amniotic sac in tac can help with a smoother delivery overall. The sac acts as a cushion and helps aid in slower effective stretching of the body and birthing organs. It also helps keep the weight of the baby from causing a lot of pressure on the cervix all at once. When your bag ruptures spontaneously, it's often that the baby was making great engagement in the pelvis, and the pressure broke the sac. That's very different from having an artificial rupture of the sac to activate labor.

Hello everyone! This is one final reminder that registration for the Winter 2023 session of the Essence of Birth ends tonight at midnight – and we don’t want you to miss out if you’re planning to join us!

Join us for The Essence of Birth - before registration closes!

As always: feel free to email us right now if you have a question about registering. We’re watching our inbox because we want you to feel 100% confident in your decision to join us!

Love,

Monet and Jenn

P.S. – Remember, if you register for The Essence of Birth now – rather than next year – you’ll have a full 12 months of momentum on growing your birth photography business by the time the next session rolls around! Think of where you want to be a year from now – and join us if you’re ready!

Did you know that your "Due date" or "delivery day" is actually called an EDD.

EDD stands for "estimated delivery date" or "estimated due date"

I like to refer to your EDD as your birthing month instead. Given that babies can be ready to be born 2 weeks before your EDD (38 weeks) and 2 weeks after your EDD (42 weeks) looking at one specific day to go into labor just doesn't seem right.

Naturally, the babies lungs are they last thing to be developed. Once the lungs are fully developed, hormones are then sent to the mothers brain to start activating labor. All babies are made from different cells. Some babies grow faster. Some babies grow the most in the second trimester. But overall, all babies grow at different paces.

Who's to say just because you're 40 weeks doesn't mean your baby is still developing. Maybe they aren't "just taking their sweet time." Maybe they simply aren't ready to be born.

Share this post with your friends to help spread the knowledge!

Meal prepping for postpartum is one of the most beneficial things you can do to take care of yourself in the future while still being pregnant.

If you're making soup, freeze your leftovers.🍛
If you're having a casserole or lasagna, make an extra and pop it in the freezer. Huge pot of spaghetti left?🍝 Put it in a casserole pan and throw some chesse on top. Switch up your recipes to make extra, save your leftovers, eat foods you know you LOVE to be sure it will get eaten.🤪
Todays prep:
3 Chicken Masala dinners
2 beef stew dinners
3 Mongolian beef dinners
3 chicken tortilla dinners
Freezer smoothies
Breakfast parfaits

All of the meals are easy to prepare and are filled with nutrition, unlike typical frozen meals from the store. 🤗

All this mama has to do is pick a dinner, thaw it out, set the crock pot, and serve when ready. 💜

Share this post with your friends so they can see it too!

Sometimes birth looks like this.... One baby after the next.

Mom deeply meditating, as she safely brings her babies earth side.

She rests in the comfort of her own home, holding the hand of her child, while being held by many.

This AMAZING momma is on IG .set.chaos You should definitely follow her. ✨💛

Follow on IG:
www.instagram.com/Doulaviewllc


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Posted •
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Via

One of the best ways for you to stay in control of your birth is to know who and what you will need or want in your birth space before you go into labor. 🩷

Preparation for labor and birth can look different for everyone, but being educated in your decision-making is 🔑

What will your support team look like?

What version of birth makes you feel safe?

What's your plan for pain management?

Are you bringing your own supplies?

Preferred feeding method?

Skin to skin?

How would you like to detach the placenta?

How are you approaching postpartum care?

Do you have other children who need care, or are they attending the birth?

Are you familiar with baby wearing?

It's your right to birth your way. 🤗🤰✨️





Share with your friends to help them prepare!

Peace on Earth begins at birth.

I've wanted to make this post for a while.

My poor sister and sweet nephew deserve light to be shed on this scenario.😔

I took this picture maybe 2 minutes after little man made his appearance. This picture haunts me. I think about it daily. It makes me sad. This is what's normal when you attend hospital births. This wasn't her first baby. She had a birth plan set in stone. Immediate skin to skin, delayed cord clamping, very few nurse visits, pushing on her own terms. All seemed well until the baby was out.

As you can see, the nurse is holding my nephew in the air with one hand?
Where was the immediate skin to skin? Why did the nurse get to be the first sensation he felt on his skin and not his mother's. Mykaleis rushes to grab her baby, and the nurse is "accessing his first breath." He came put crying and looked pink to me. Why did she need to "access" anything? 🤔

This very moment is the reason I became a birth advocate, breastfeeding Doula and a lactation counselor. No woman deserves this type of birth. No baby deserves to be kept from its creating source.🤰

Traumatized human beings often had a traumatic birth. Does this look like a peaceful birth to you? Would you want your baby being held up above your torso while you're desperately reaching out to hold the creation you have spent months making.

This is where I learned to step in, speak up, and give my clients back their voices.💥💬

Mykalei wanted a medicated, peaceful birth. Medication was there, and peace was not.

I vowed to make sure every mother I come in contact with knows her options. Knows that she is the boss, we all work for her. Her dream birth is our job to create. Birth can't be controlled. We all should know that by now, but it can be made human again. I will fight for it every day for every birthing mother to receive their true birth rights.

Each one of these laboring positions are extremely beneficial! 🤩
Some remove pressure, some pull the baby down and forward out of the back, some help baby get down in the pelvis and out of the ribs. There really so many ways to birth in power.💙

Which position seemed to help you and your baby work the most effectively together? What position were you in when your baby made their appearance? 💫

Share this post with an expecting mama to spread the knowledge! 😊

Your baby's not scared of birth, so why should you be?🤰

Being grown for birth is all the baby has been prepared for. Lungs being the last thing to devolope & the first to send the signals that they are ready to be born.

Why are we so quick so assume the baby needs "our help" or they are in distress? Because in the last 100 years our Doctors forgot about the magic of physiological birth, and they do not believe that women were specifically designed to give birth on her own.

Often times through breathing and movement, body and baby can work together to undo any delays in the process! Did you know that? ✨️

Believe in you and your baby first and things may just become a little bit more clear.🤗

"Empowered women, empower women"

Hi, Mama! 💜 I need your help. Creating informational content has been my main focus since I am done with 2022 births for the year. I'm so excited for 2023! 🥳

In my free time I would like to flood my social media with content to help all of you.

Here's where I need your help, I need photos of your breastfeeding success or labor positions that helped you manage through your delivery! 😊

Giving you the information is easy, giving you a visual is not easy for me since I don't have my own child.

If you would like to help me and your fellow mama's out, send your favorite breastfeeding or labor photos to [email protected]
I appreciate this growing community of women so much! 💫

Share this with someone who may be interested in sharing their journey!