Living With Bipolar

Hard to do especially at certain times but so worth it. People tend to focus on the negative way more than the positive. Focusing on the negative prevents moving forward. Try focusing on the positive and see where life brings you!

I know it has been awhile since I posted. I have been extremely overwhelmed with life and keeping busy with work. When I came across this I couldn’t resist posting. Does anyone else feel this way? I am 35 and now that I am learning to manage my disorder I finally am getting that itch and being pushy to live and enjoy life. I guess I have finally reached the point of being able to freely develop and grow. Better late than never!

I saw this quote and thought it really is true for anyone! Sometimes we really are our worse critics and then when someone else sends negativity our way it is hard to not take it as truth.

I am going to be 35 and I have only started to discover who I am and not who everyone else needs and want me to be. Through this journey of self discovery I have realized I am someone who is filled with love and enjoys sharing it with those around me. I am also full of imperfections but am starting to identify them and own them. Ultimately I am a beautiful disaster but am ok with that. Those who are meant to be in my life love the real me for me. I am done being someone I am not to make others more comfortable or happy. By doing that I built a wall not only to others but to myself as well. I am working hard at breaking that wall down and learning to trust again. Trust not only those around me but trusting myself as well.

Be yourself and show the world. Don’t be ashamed and hide. No one is perfect and those imperfections make us who we are. Love yourself and love will surround you.

Does anyone else seem to have a switch that goes off when you get hit with something negative? For me it could be the slightest negative thing and then anything else that is bothering me comes flooding in shortly after. I haven’t figured out how to separate my feelings. If anyone can relate any suggestions for copping would be wonderful.

Relationships and connecting with other people...anyone else have difficulty with this? Even as a small child I never understood emotions or how to connect with anyone. I use to watch movies and tv shows and run thru the emotions and study how people socialized together.

There are only a few people in my life that I have been able to connect with throughout the years and it’s nice to be accepted as me. Otherwise I prefer short lived get togethers because longer than that it gets harder to fit in. Most people probably don’t even know I have difficulties with this because I am known to be a people person and very outgoing. It takes a lot to push to do that. I enjoy meeting new people and engaging in conversation but it is a challenge for extended periods of time.

This is something I keep working on but have also decided to be open with more people and not be insecure to be me. Ultimately either people like me and understand me for who I am or we just weren’t meant to be in each other’s lives longer than we were. I am ok with that! I am fortunate to have truly connected with the select few individuals who support me. I am thankful for them everyday!

Sleeping always a challenge. It tends to be more of a challenge to settle down and fall asleep. I sometimes feel like a child that is a ball of energy trying to simmer down and go to sleep. I always feel bad talking on and on right before bed. My energy level is more like someone who has had a few cups of coffee in the morning not someone who has worked all day. My Dr. use to have me on Latuda to help with the sleep issues but it really didn’t do much at all. I am also ADHD so perhaps that plays a factor as well. The only things I found that help are my weighted blanket, chamomile oil in a defuser, or intimacy. Can anyone else relate?

When I feel like I may lose it the one thing that consistently helps me is excusing myself and just taking a drive listening to music loudly. I can feel the vibrations which help calm me and the driving helps me focus. I am then able to balance myself and think about what my feelings are, where they are coming from, and regroup before engaging with others again. Does driving and listening to music help anyone else? What helps you ground yourself again?

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