Karly Hoffman King Therapy

We are all responding to this crisis differently. Interestingly enough, I’ve talked to several people who are doing better than normal during this time.
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Sometimes our distress is a message. If you were struggling before and are not now, was there something about your previous life that wasn’t working? Lack of boundaries? Over-committed? Over-worked? Caught up in the rat race? Not enough down time or room for self expression? There’s no right answer to this question. Reflect. See what you find.

https://www.karlyhoffmanking.com/karly-hoffman-king-blog/2020/4/15/how-to-deal-with-loneliness-cleveland

How To deal with loneliness — Karly Hoffman King Therapy There’s no doubt that social distancing is important these days. But that doesn’t change the fact that many of us are struggling with the loneliness of sheltering in place. You may be finding yourself at a loss for how to manage these tough feelings. We typically think of loneliness as a byprodu...

https://www.karlyhoffmanking.com/karly-hoffman-king-blog/2020/3/30/Coping-with-coronavirus-cleveland

Mental health tips during COVID19 — Karly Hoffman King Therapy You don’t need me to tell you that these are unprecedented times. It doesn’t matter to what degree you’ve been affected by this pandemic, whatever you’re feeling, it’s valid. And if you’re struggling right now, well, that makes a lot of sense. With so much loss and so many unknowns, we a...

I don’t know about you all, but this weeks been a total emotional roller coaster.
I really wanted to come on here and post something comforting and insightful.
I have no doubt that we will find a way through this. But in the meantime, if you’re feeling all the things, let me just say, SAME.
What I know, is that the most helpful thing I can do for myself right now is self-validation, and allowing myself to process all the difficult stuff that’s coming up for me. I’ve been experiencing some fear and disappointment.
But I’ve also been feeling hope, a sense of community and everything else in between.
Let yourself ride the lows, enjoy the highs If they come.
Thinking of all of you.

Hi! For those interested in keeping up with the latest from my practice, follow me over on my instagram page . I’ll be focusing most of my efforts over on that page 😁

The Best Drug I’ve Ever Taken Wasn’t Even a Drug. It Was EMDR Therapy. In an excerpt from his book, comedian Adam Cayton-Holland explains the therapy that helped him grieve the death of his sister.

Barbershop movement urges abusive men to tackle traumatic pasts The 'She is not your rehab' movement is empowering men to address domestic violence by healing from past traumas through honest conversations.

Here is a dirty little secret.

While I haven’t been inside the minds of every human on this earth, I can say with the utmost confidence that each and every one of us has not-so-pretty thoughts. Weird thoughts, inappropriate thoughts, offensive thoughts, judging thoughts.

Our brains are built to be judgmental. Our negativity bias is a product of evolution.

This says nothing about your character. The thoughts you have are not a reflection of your goodness or value.

You will never not have negative thoughts.

But with Each time you observe, and take a step back from these thoughts, their grip on you weakens. You have more freedom in how you respond, and a choice to refocus on what you value. Your power lies in what you do after a negative thought shows up.

This can make or break your treatment.

Your therapists are not all knowing gurus who hold all of life’s secrets. They are very fallible human beings who are going to mess up.

I do my best to make this very clear to the clients I see. I WANT to know when you’re not happy with the way things are going. Like any relationship, there will be moments of miscommunication and misunderstanding. What I can promise is that I welcome feedback and will work with you to mend whatever rupture may take place.

Hate the term self-care? Yeah me too 🙃

But all it means folks, is taking gosh darn care of yourself.

It ain’t about the bath boms and face masks (although our capitalist culture really would prefer you believe other wise). It’s definitely not always pretty or instagram-able.

Sometimes it looks like what it did for this guy 😬 letting yourself fall apart a little to avoid falling apart a lot down the road.

Step one is accepting you need help. Step two is finding said help. If you’re a confused consumer check out these questions to consider in the search for the right counselor for you.

https://www.karlyhoffmanking.com/new-blog/How-to-find-the-right-therapist-Cleveland

How to find the right therapist in Cleveland If You’ve gotten to the point where you’re ready to ask for help, but youre feeling unsure about what kind of counseling you need, or what type of professional you should be working with, this article is for you. I dont blame you for being confused. There are an overwhelming amount of options ou...

Here’s something really cool about you, that you probably didn’t know. One of humankinds greatest qualities is our ability to adapt to the environment around us. You have this quality...we all do.

For the sake of survival and social acceptance (which is necessary for our survival) we can adopt all sorts of behaviors, belief systems, and ways of being that allow us to cope with whatever the reality of our situation is at that time.

What does this look like?

Well For example, I get clients coming in all the time saying something along the lines of. “I dont know why I can’t just do x, y and z” “why can’t I talk about my feelings with my partner?” “Why am I so uncomfortable with conflict?” “Why can’t I stop the emotional eating?”

My first question is almost always, in what way did this behavior serve you at some point in time?

- Maybe you grew up in a home where it wasn’t okay to talk about your emotions, so to fit into that environment you became a master at swallowing your feelings. That coping strategy served you well as a kid in that living space.

- Maybe your home life was so riddled with conflict, that as an adult you have designed your relationships around avoiding the slightest hint of discord as a means of keeping all those painful memories at bay. And In that way, your avoidance has served you well as an independent adult.


- Or maybe it’s as simple as when you needed comfort most in your life, the only way you knew how to find it was through food. And that has served you well, too.

When our needs of safety, love and belonging are not met, we find ways to meet them ourselves. That’s what is so awesome about being human. We find a way.

Understanding this about your biology before you make changes, is most likely the missing ingredient needed to help those changes stick.

If you’re hating yourself for all the things that you are, and all the things that you wish you could be, but can’t seem to take steps towards , start here. Start with understanding and appreciating all the ways these behaviors and thoughts pattens may have actually been your friend at some point. Making peace with this opens you up to more sustainable means of change.

Wrapping up a day in this space and having all the . It May not look like a lot, but so much cool sh*t takes place in here.

I love my job. My clients do such good and brave work in this room. It’s not easy, we unpack some difficult stuff, but that’s how the healing and growth happens. I just really value being able to be part of that experience ✌🏻

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For awhile there I preached “attitude is everything”.

It’s true that our internal dialogue can impact how we feel and the way we interpret the world around us.

One of the most powerful realizations a person can have is that their own thoughts and feeling are not often a reflection of reality.

But positive thinking can’t undo the pain of a broken heart or pacify the emptiness a person feels after the loss of a loved one. It can’t cover up the shame of abandonment or stop the intrusive flashbacks. It doesn’t cure depression, or get rid of anxiety.

A positive attitude is not a cure all.

Your emotional/mental well being is influenced by your thinking, but it’s also influenced by your physical health, your social connections, your past traumas, your current environment, your nutrition, your stress levels and s o m u c h m o r e.

If you can’t “chose” happiness today, know that it’s okay and it just means you’re a struggling human like the rest of us.

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Hang on. Life: it’s a wild ride.

It’s been crickets over here for good reason! Ive transitioned my practice from Cincinnati to Cleveland Oh 🙂 I’m getting settled into the new digs, and starting some great work with some wonderful clients.

If you are a young adult struggling with anxiety and/or depression, or are just trying to make sense of who you are in this bizarre world...you’re in the right place. I hope that you find this information validating, useful and perhaps at times a source of humor as you progress on your journey to good health.

I often get asked the question, “why bother?” When it comes to emotions. It’s a fair question. Emotions are often uncomfortable, messy, and inconvenient. But our attempts to numb, distract, and avoid don’t ever actually get rid of what we are feeling. Those emotions continue to impact our moods and behaviors, it’s just happening outside of our awareness. This can keep us stuck In patterns of behavior and relationships that don’t serve us or we want to change. Taking the time to slow down and take stock of what we are feeling actually gives us choices. We gain more clarity and understanding into our own behaviors, and can begin to choose differently moving forward.

I’m almost always addressing these myths with clients. Why? Because believing these things only creates more suffering for us.
Struggling Is part of being a human being. These myths make us feel isolated, alone, and broken when we struggle. On top of whatever it is we are going through, it feels like we are the only ones going through it.

It might sound counterintuitive, but the better we are at opening up to our struggles and pains, the less of a grip they will have on our lives. There’s a lot of freedom in this. When we say ‘yes’ to working through our pain, we also say ‘yes’ to living our lives.

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I’ve said many times that the feeling of anxiety is normal and happens to us all. One of the key differences between the feeling state of anxiety, and what begins to look like an anxiety disorder, is when avoidance becomes a primary coping strategy.

At first glance, it seems like a logical solution. Avoid the thing/things that provoke anxiety. We all do this to an extent. But we begin to run into a couple of problems with chronic avoidance.

1) at most avoidance provides temporary comfort. But the more we avoid a feared object, the larger its power over us gets. Each time you don’t face the feared thing, it becomes even scarier of a prospect for the future.

2) Our lives begin to feel caged in. Avoiding anxiety allows us to escape temporary discomfort but also often means we miss out on really meaningful things in our lives. It’s not at all surprising that anxiety and depression are often cooccurring disorders, if how we cope with our anxiety means stifling our own lives.

Be mindful of your urge to avoid today. What do you get out of avoiding? What does it cost you?

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I have a lot of respect for my clients. They show up week after week to do the hard work. There comes a point in time for many, where the pain of staying the same, starts to outweigh the pain of change, and this is often when the most growth happens. But that means that change comes with an openness to hold space for difficult and scary things. My job is to be there with you as you walk the journey. And with each step you take, you begin to see how capable you are of handling all that stuff that at one point may have felt too big to bare on your own. Your willingness to get your hands dirty allows you to plant the seeds needed for growth.

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✌🏻to live mindfully is to show up for each and every part of the journey.