Hillary Messer

Reading is very difficult for Taevin, so is understanding audible basic instructions . . . he has to be shown multiple times before it clicks. This year he finally understood that he’s way below grade level and that he’s reading books the twins are and his self esteem has plummeted.

In first quarter reading he thought if he read 4 books he would qualify for a rewards party each quarter and when he didn’t he came home raging and crying that his teachers a liar and he hates her.

I told him I’m sure you’ve misunderstood, that I’d talk to his teacher and find out but that I would pick him up during the party and take him to get a special treat because he read four books . . THAT IS HUGE FOR TAEVIN!

I talked to the school and could now explain to Taevin that on the test for these books you have to have 70% or higher to qualify. He wasn’t happy but I thought he understood. Last week he came home saying that I only need to read one more book to qualify for this quarters reward. The next day his teacher called me a little upset because she had to tell Tae he didn’t qualify.

Taevin came home crying and angry saying “I’m stupid and I quit reading, what’s the point? I’m never reading again cause I’ll never qualify!”

Sometimes bribery is gold! I made a deal to encourage his reading . . . I’ll buy you that video game you’ve been saving for if you read 6 books this quarter, that was 2 weeks ago and he did it and he ENJOYED it! Next quarter he has to read 10 to earn the next reward! Yes, I’m proud of myself for the bribe because I want him reading, I want him to be proud of himself because this boy is a ray of light and I want him to see himself through my eyes 😍

These 4 are the best of friends 🫶🏽

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Happy happy birthday to my soul sister 🫶🏽 Love you so much Celeste!!! Can’t imagine my life without you in it😘

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In my opinion, he’s kind of a big deal! Most everything we’ve been through with this boy in his young life has been heavy. He’s a fighter and he’s strong, even if he doesn’t recognize that yet. I love him always, even on the hard days.

Everyone battles something and often the invisible battles are the most crippling and isolating. My kids roll their eyes at me when I say this, because I say it anytime I drop them off somewhere . . . BE KIND LIKE JESUS ❤️

Please teach your kids about mental health issues, even if they aren’t experiencing it, their peers are and as a youth - friendship and acceptance is everything. We don’t see his friends anymore, they’ve all disappeared and I get that it can be hard and I’m not blaming them because it can be a lot to handle. But we all need people. Be someone, teach your kids to be someone that takes care of others. Just be kind like Jesus 🙏🏽

Don’t suffer in silence, we all need someone we can be real with, to carry us when we can’t stand anymore, who will listen without judgement. When prayer alone isn’t working, you need someone to hold your hand.

Quick trip to SLC for a primary children’s appointment, 🤞🏽 we can get some relief for little man! Brett’s up for drill and he made it a lot funner by getting tickets to the game!

To say the last year has been difficult for Raife (and us) would be a massive understatement. Hopeful that switching up some meds, more testing & trauma therapy will be the ticket! Long road ahead, if you’re a prayer please keep him in yours ❤️

Managing mental health is a tricky beast and it’s overwhelming, heartbreaking and exhausting for the whole family. All I keep thinking is it can’t get worse then it already is . . . but then it does. Please teach your kids to be kind, it’s hard to see pain that sometimes looks invisible and then when it’s visible people start running.

There’s so much we don’t understand when it comes to mental health, but one thing that’s easy to understand and do is kindness 🫶🏽

Happy Halloween 🎃 First year in a long time that Brett and I didn’t dress up but we had a blast having all 4 of our kiddos trick or treating as a family!
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The girls had crazy hair at school last week! They wanted stuffies (stuffed animals) trapped in their hair😆 They were so excited!

Apparently as soon as they got to school Bellamy had a teacher help her undo her hair cause she was embarrassed . . . she doesn’t like bring the center of attention! Demi on the other hand, loved the spotlight and ate it up🤣🤣🤣

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Disney Land is my happy place 🫶🏽 October is rough with the anniversary of my Dads accident and last October marks the beginning of a mental health downward spiral for my oldest.

We had a blast but I’m so thankful for the DAS pass Disney offers. It’s always been helpful but especially so this trip without it, the trip would’ve been a disaster.

The last time we had trip this hard was when Raife was 5 and we didn’t know about the DAS pass and we swore we’d never go again. The DAS pass makes it possible for my boys to enjoy Disney as it should be ❤️

Happy twin Tuesday! We took a last minute trip to Disneyland over the weekend 🫶🏽

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These ✌🏽talked me into putting one matching braid from each of their hair into my hair 😆

I soooo wish I could pull off a head of box braids like my gorgeous girls!

Some advice : get outside and go see the fall leaves! Did my heart good today to drive up to the cabin and help my Mom out! Sure miss being up there with both my Mom and my Dad 💔

Octobers are hard, can’t believe it’s been almost 7 years since the accident that took my Dads life and nearly took Raifes 😭

100% True 🫶🏽💙

Just a friendly FYI, Brett’s account has been stolen and is no longer in his control 🤬

This makes me cry, why does time go so fast?! Stop growing please 😭 💔

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He’s a complex individual struggling with a messy spider web of diagnoses & we are doing all we can to help him navigate this thing called life 🫶🏽

ADHD

Sometimes it’s just the little things that make the biggest difference . . . like a tiny cousin taking your hand when he sees you are struggling and hugs you when you’re crying 💙

Love these ✌🏽

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Day ✌🏽of their messy room vrs mom grounding 😆

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Two years ago, they look tiny 🥹

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The last year and a half has been extremely hard for me and I quit working out, quit hanging with girlfriends and kind of avoided people all together but it hasn’t helped.

Obviously I knew it wouldn’t but I just wanted or maybe needed to hide. I’ve gotten too comfortable and now I’m finding it really hard to crawl out BUT I’m crawling 😜

I decided I needed to start with the gym…it’s always been the most important for me and my mental health.

So whatever your struggling with, make time to take care of yourself so you can take care of the rest of your people! A good and sweaty workout does wonders!

First day of ✌🏽 grade!!! I love these two wild girls to the moon and back a million times but man am I ready for the break🤣🤣🤣

They are no longer dressing the same and they are no longer in the same class 🥹💔 Stop growing up!

Between my two boys they do 24 of these stimming behaviors, some more then others and it truly does help them to stay calmer and be more focused .

Stimming helps them to manage their emotions or blockout overwhelming situations/sensations.

First day of school for the boys! Sophomore & 6th grade 🥹

I love these handsome boys so much and am so thankful they both had a great day . . . Fathers blessings are where it’s at 🫶🏽

Now on to the girls first day tomorrow! Mama needs a break 🥴

Happy birthday to our sweet & sassy cabooses! I really can’t and would never want to imagine life without them ❤️❤️

I’m so thankful for adoption, especially open adoption and the ability to have double the family to love my babies!

I wouldn’t be a mom without the sacrifices of my kids beautiful tummy mommies and I will never be able to express my gratitude properly.

Bellamy and Dempsey are all sunshine and fire and they turn our house upside down and inside out on the daily 🥴 Sometimes I cry at the disasters they create but I ALWAYS laugh about it later . . . never a dull moment!

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That’s why it’s called a spectrum people! Spend some time with my boys and you’ll see that autism varies from person to person.

This pic 😍 I can’t stop staring at these ✌🏽 beauties!

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Yesterday we attended our nephews mission farewell and we drove to his house after for a luncheon. There were a lot cars and people and my oldest started to panic a little. He asked if we could go home because he couldn’t handle himself in the situation.

We didn’t have two cars this time like normal so I asked if he could wait in the car for 5 minutes while we went in and gave hugs and let my sister in law know why we weren’t staying.

In the past I would’ve tried to force him to go and stay a few minutes and he would’ve been a ticking time bomb that would most definitely explode, in the past he would not have told me that he couldn’t handle the situation.

We’ve come a long way with a lot of hard work…yesterday was a win, he knew before even going in to the house that he couldn’t handle so we were able to avoid a meltdown 💙

Ever heard of a sensory chew toy? My oldest finished treatment and his therapist there gave him several sensory chew toys while he was there and they’ve been such a comfort to him 💙

If you have a kiddo with sensory issues you’ve got to give this a shot! You can find them on Amazon, I won’t go anywhere without a few on hand!