Simply Spoken Life

☕️🥖🍳Such sweet vibes today with my mini-me! Breakfast at our favorite French-inspired escape . 🥖🍫Be still my heart sharing chocolate brioche with my baby.🤎 Then, time to cash-in hard earned lawn mowing money at for a Kids Card 🏈🏀⚾️Crate. We missed you .vincent.984.😘

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A six-hour cancer surgery was the easiest part of oral cancer for me. Spiritually, I felt safe and supported, but my ‘head game’ needed help. In this article I share space with two IU Health Social Workers to explain why community connection after cancer is so empowering and that group therapy is actually really great!👊🏻💥💪🏼🙏🏽🙌🏼💙

(Link/Bio or click in Stories.)

💙🦷🎥…This Life!!! Thank you so much and for telling my story so perfectly! Surviving oral cancer with .vincent.984 and Dr. Mike Tillery of by my side has been the greatest miracle!✨I pray our work here saves a life! Please link to full the video in my bio.⬆️▶️

🐻🏡🗻🚙💨💙
-Super cheesy family fun✔️
-Make 1,000 memories✔️
-Ditch iPads✔️
-Ryan has a ‘Yes Day’✔️
-Ryan has 7 ‘Yes Days’✔️✔️
-LOL😂 a LOT!✔️

Thanks Tennessee. I’m sorry my pretend southern accent was so lame. But when in Pigeon Forge… 🤠

🧹🧼🧺…🚫

🙋🏻‍♀️Me last night: Hey guys, we have absolutely got to get this house straightened up in the morning!
👦🏼Ryan this morning: Can you guys teach me how to use these chips?

Two hours later the vacuum is still parked, but we’ve had a blast learning Texas Hold’em. .vincent.984 is an excellent teacher!♠️♥️♣️♦️

☎️HI! 1974 just called to say that TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY!!!
🎂👯‍♂️☺️🌷💕🥰

I’m elated to BE ALIVE! 👊🏻💥 Oral cancer tried to silence me but YOU KNOW I STILL HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO SAY!!! 🗣️🗯️

Also, April is Oral Cancer Awareness Month! So I’d love it if you’d pop over to SimplySpokenLife.com [link in bio] to read more of my AH’MAZING story! I had a DREAM TEAM 🩺 of docs who guided my healing, and Roger shares his perspective on the whole ‘in sickness and in health’💍part.

Lastly, (for now😉) .vincent.984 and I would greatly appreciate your support so I can keep growing my tiny outreach! (Donate link at website.)

Thank you!🥳🥳🥳

⬆️This is my soulmate, sister-from-another-mister, oral cancer co-slayer, teammate, peer-therapist-person, and the only one who really ‘gets it’ friend.😜😝😉 We share the same scars, the same surgeon, and the same passion for Jesus🕊️✝️. -And sometimes we talk so fast during our 1-hr lunch dates 🥗that we accidentally spit salad across the table on each other 😂 - which is perfectly acceptable when 1/2 your tongue👅 is your wrist🫱🏻…🤪

Suffice it to say, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for THIS SMART, PRECIOUS, HILARIOUS, GENEROUS SOUL - who’s not on Instagram but gave me permission👍🏼 to share our pics.

To God be the glory🙌🏼 that He saw fit to sanctify, save, and introduce us.👯‍♂️

I LOVE YOU FRIEND!!!!
💕🌷👊🏻💥

Watching todays race with .vincent.984 on reminded me of these favorites 📸 from 2019 at the . Great finish today 🏁🏎️ by .

🤷🏻‍♀️Why show scars of your wrist and arm during an oral cancer conversation? [See previous post.➡️) Well… (gulp🥵/nerves)… because a pinch of skin from my wrist (called a flap) was used, along with an artery from my arm, to help ‘rebuild’ me a new tongue. (😳 - O, I know!) …It’s weird, wild and fascinating. It also saved my life!🙌🏼

The procedure is called a glossectomy. I needed the surgery in 2020 b/c a nickel-sized cancerous tumor was housed on the left side of my tongue.😝 The hand with the purple glove is that of my brilliant surgeon checking his work just 13-days post-op.✔️

Jump over to my website to read more about the procedure and see some other fascinating pics! www.simplyspokenlife.com

💁🏻‍♀️I don’t know how it is, (except through The One ✝️ I call Mighty), that the thing I never wanted launched my best work. -Including collaborating on this project with for Oral Cancer Awareness Month coming up in April. 🦷🪥👅

A painless dental screening tipped-off my hygienist to precancerous lesions under my tongue in 2019. Unfortunately, the disease got worse b/f it got better. 😢 But finding the cancer when we did ultimately saved my life!🙌🏼

Heartfelt thanks (and gratitude beyond measure💙) to Dr. & Mrs. Michael Tillery from .vincent.984 and myself for coordinating this project. I love sharing my story! Stay tuned for the finished video!🎞️



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My mission for Simply Spoken Life is to let you (and anyone healing from cancer surgery) see 👀 what healing and getting better look like.💪🏼👊🏻💥🙌🏼My physical scars remind me of an incredible life that was SO WORTH fighting for!✨That’s not to say there weren’t some laments along the way. Ultimately though, I promised myself and the surgeon who helped save me, that I would use my scars as a storybook to tell others about Jesus - my Ultimate Healer!✝️

Pics: My first post-op audience! Thanks for inviting me to speak to the home school K-12 group at . The kids were amazing and the memory of my first public speaking event with a new tongue will last me forever!💞

It feels like jumping off “Vulnerability Peak” but I’m ready to tell my story.📚🌄😝

For a timeline of my healing and why I decided to share so much visit www.simplyspokenlife.com

May my lips overflow with praise...and my tongue sing of your word
Psalm 119:171-172

Hi. I'm Melissa. In 2020 I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma, a form of oral cancer that presented itself as a nickel-sized tumor inside my tongue. By God’s grace, I was connected with a dream team of doctors including the brilliant Dr. Michael Sim at University Hospital in Indianapolis. Dr. Sim performed a glossectomy - a surgery that required removing part of my tongue, which ultimately saved my life.

I have never been at a loss for words. I have a communication degree from Purdue, a certificate in Social Impact Storytelling from Georgetown and received an A from UCLA in The Psychology of Compelling Storytelling. I also enjoy public speaking, singing with my church praise band, and using my voice for patient advocacy. I just love to talk and surviving oral cancer has given me so much more to say!

I have taken great care to design a website called SimplySpokenLife.com without the scary statistics and survival rates I encountered researching oral cancer. Instead, the mission of Simply Spoken Life, including here on Facebook, is to share my journey, from precancer through glossectomy recovery, so others preparing to clear the same hurdles can see what healing and getting better look like. This is also an invitation for other oral cancer survivors to have helpful conversation. WELCOME!

A return trip to the dentist, and my husband’s strong words.
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When I returned to Dr. Tillery’s office the following week to have my cavities filled, it was an epic disaster.

My body did not respond well to the sedation. I don’t remember any of this but Courtney, my new favorite hygienist, told Roger that every time she got near my mouth, I became combative. So I left that appointment without having any dental work done at all. And since Dr. Tillery adheres to strict protocols about sedated patients requiring a driver, Roger kindly accepted the responsibility to be my chauffeur.

I didn’t remember the drive home either, but Roger assures me I’d been making some very specific demands about French fries. Apparently I was relentless about my immediate need for large fries and a Coke with extra ice. Also, they could only be from the McDonald’s on Oak Street across town, not the McDonald’s on Michigan Road that we’d be driving past on the way home. Poor guy. He was probably wishing I could have just taken an Uber at that point. Needless to say, in the span of an afternoon, I had fallen asleep in a dental chair, consumed a large order of fries with a Coke, and woke-up in my bed without a single memory of any of it.

When I finally opened my eyes, I saw Roger sitting in the reading chair situated between our bed and a wall of windows in our room. I was so excited about how incredible I felt after [not] having my cavities filled that I exclaimed, “This is amazing! I feel fabulous! I love this new dentist. I am literally in zero pain right now!” I paused so Roger could celebrate with me. I was anticipating his normal affirmation. Something like, “Oh, that’s great Honey!” or “I’m glad you’re feeling so good Sweetie.” Instead, he seemed distracted and serious. (Which was certainly understandable after being dictated to about French fries.) But it was more than that. There was a palatable tension in the air - and then he stood up. I noticed his cellphone in his right hand through the sting in my eyes from the sunlight behind him. “Melissa.” 🫢My heart dropped. He never calls me by my actual name. He went on… “You have got to go see an oral surgeon about those marks on your tongue.”

I was trying to process the sequence of events that had transpired since my last memory, which had been falling asleep from the sedation at Dr. Tillery’s office. Now we were home and Roger was clearly shaken. It was weird and difficult to process because I was the one who’d been sedated that day and because Roger has never told me that ‘I had to’ do anything. Flippantly I agreed. “Okay! I will. That’s fine.” I was sinfully annoyed that my good mood was forced to be over. I started to turn away but the fear on Roger’s face stopped me. His 6’ 2” stature held its posture in the space of our room and the level of intensity was causing my breath to quicken. I no longer felt amazing. He was intentional about making eye contact with me and then very calmly stated, “Those lines on your tongue could be cancerous.” I didn’t move an inch. “Courtney was able to run a few tests on your tongue while you were still sedated. Those gray lines have gotten worse since the first time you saw Dr. Tillery. Courtney kept telling me ‘she needs to go… she needs to…’ and they gave me this business card for an oral surgeon.” As he extended his reach to hand it to me he added, “They said this guy is really good and he’s close by.” My heart felt like it was melting into my torso the way hot wax slides down the side of a burning candle. Then he said it once more, “You have to go see this oral surgeon Melissa.”

“Cancer?! I just wanted to use my $59 coupon! I turned my back to my husband and walked out of the room. How dare anyone talk to me about having cancer!” 😦

The words “have to” reverberated in my head with a harsh echo as I took the card from his hand. It was the same information I’d held between my fingers the week before. Flipping the tiny card from front-to-back with nervous energy, I studied the letters on it all over again. They hadn’t changed. Mark W. Anderson D.D.S. M.S. Oral Surgeons of Indiana. My mind did a quick skip back to having just seen Roger holding his cellphone. I immediately realized that he’d been Googling information about what he'd been told at Dr. Tillery’s office before saying my name. I also knew that whatever he found must have been especially horrible for him to call me by name.

Cancer? I just wanted to use my $59 coupon. And now we’re in a conversation about cancer? I spewed back at Roger defensively; it was my fear masquerading as defiance, “COULD BE PRE-cancer! They said ‘COULD BE’ and ‘PRE’ ! Do not speak illness over me! This is not going to be anything!” I turned my back, ending the conversation as I walked out of our room. How dare anyone talk to me about having cancer. The heat of my tears felt like tiny blades cutting my cheeks as gravity tugged them down my face. “Oh my God, what is happening?” I prayed silently to The One I call Father. “Please Lord!” I begged from my spirit, “Don’t let me be sick. This can’t be anything. I’m okay. Let me know that I’m going to be okay.”

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From Roger: When I was listening to the feedback about the results of Melissa’s tests, Courtney and another hygienist presented the information with a serious tone and emphasized the word "need". “She needs to see an oral surgeon.” While I was waiting for her to wake up at home, I broke my own rule about never Googling for medical information. I looked up ‘tongue cancer’ and survival rates came up. I thought, survival rates? -And they weren't very good. Then I saw a photo [of a cancerous tongue] and that was enough. I never got past that first page of information. That was all I needed to see.

From Melissa: I quickly repented and apologized to Roger for my angry response to his insights. I wasn’t actually mad at him. I was scared by what I was hearing and needed time alone to process the news and to pray.

It all began with a simple trip to the dentist.

How could I pass up a $59 cleaning?
The squeaky hinged mailbox door seemed to announce a surprise. Yes! My favorite blue envelope stuffed full of coupons had arrived. It’s only delivered periodically so it’s like treasure to me. My favorite one is from a causal, but very nice, Mexican restaurant near our church. My family and I eat lunch there nearly every Sunday. The picture on the coupon features a thick blue ceramic plate piled high with all of my favorites and the text reads: Three Tacos, Rice & Beans. Just $7.99!

“My plan for the day? Get a cleaning and go get some tacos!”

This time the blue envelope included an extraordinarily valuable coupon from Tillery Family Dental (TFD). Dr. Michael Tillery has been a dentist in our community for over 30-years and has an outstanding reputation. His practice was offering a full exam, X-rays and teeth whitening for only $59! This was perfect for me because I’d developed an annoying sensation on my tongue earlier in the year. I’d seen another dentist about the issue twice already. That person said the problem was probably an irritation caused by my plastic teeth straightening trays, but after nearly eight months of managing the annoyance, I wanted another opinion. Suffice it to say, for $59, it would be fantastic to visit Dr. Tillery’s office.

I quickly called the number on the TFD coupon and explained my situation to a kind woman on the other end of the phone. In response to my lament regarding the pain on my tongue, she made a space for Dr. Tillery to see me the very next day! I confirmed my appointment and started planning. I’d celebrate my $59 dental exam with a $7.99 plate of tacos afterwords!

Upon arriving at TFD, I was immediately impressed by the people and the office. The staff was cheerful and the space was gorgeous. To fulfill the X-ray portion of the $59 offer I was guided into a stunning room showcasing state of the art medical equipment. Everything appeared to be brand new and extremely high tech. I was intrigued by all of it, which also made the process of getting my scans super interesting. Next, my teeth were cleaned in a bright and comfortable dental suite where I was offered a “Comfort Menu”. On the menu were selections that included free bottled water and a blanket. I asked for both and settled in while I watched a home remodeling show on a flat-screen television situated in the ceiling directly above my chair. I also noticed that the Comfort Menu listed optional sedation for a small fee.

“At one point I heard: You have a few gray lines under your tongue which can be signs of cancer.”

My hygienist that day was Courtney. She was professional, gentle with my mouth, and very funny. I liked her instantly. While saying a few words about myself between rinses, Courtney and I discovered we had a lot in common. She lives in my hometown and we’re both boy moms. We also share a deep appreciation for designer handbags. As my visit was wrapping up the tone of her voice softened considerably. She leaned in and said, “You have a few faint gray lines under your tongue. They can be signs of cancer or precancer. We’ll have Dr. Tillery take a look and before you leave, I’ll give you a [business] card for an oral surgeon we like to refer patients to.” I acknowledged her with a simple nod as I dabbed my mouth the the green paper bib hanging from a tiny chain around my neck.

Before walking away from my cozy chair, Courtney clicked open a tab on a computer situated next to us. The results of my X-rays appeared on the screen. The images were extremely detailed and impressive to look at. Unfortunately, they revealed three cavities that I was not prepared to have filled that day. I wanted to schedule a second visit so I could take advantage of Dr. Tillery’s sedation option from the Comfort Menu. Anything TFD could do to lessen my anxiety about filling the cavities would be worth the money - coupon or not.

During the checkout process, Courtney handed me the business card of the oral surgeon she’d mentioned in the exam room. I dropped it inside the tiny plastic bag she’d given me with a free toothbrush and travel-sized toothpaste. I handed off the $59 coupon and scheduled the appointment to have my cavities filled the following week.

I drove home extremely satisfied with the care I’d received and was enjoying the ‘clean mouth feeling’ so much that I skipped the $7 tacos. Back at home, I pulled the business card for the oral surgeon out of the little bag and held it in-between my fingers. Turning my hand over-and-back I studied the details on either side of it: Mark W. Anderson D.D.S. M.S. Oral Surgeons of Indiana. I probably read it five times as Courtney’s words tapped sharply in my brain. “Gray lines… cancer… precancer...” I recited the warning silently, and as though it were completely optional. I decided the lines she discovered under my tongue would go away on their own and fired back at the pending threat, “I am fine! I do not have pre-anything! And we’re not spending money on an oral surgeon!”