Amusing Creations

Excerpt from recently published: 'Collected Tales'. After our 'hero' and his 'sidekick' Elle nearly get shot full of burning holes outside a little podunk town called 'Dirt'... Enjoy. (Link in comments)

Brushing dirt from her hands and knees, Elle stood looking nonchalantly about. "That went unexpectedly well," she says.
And I agreed. True, we almost got killed, but you know the old saying, 'almost getting killed' is better than actually getting killed… or something to that effect.
"As my old pappy used to say, "Any fight you can walk away from is a good fight." In this particular instance, it was Coyote's fight, not ours, but who’s splitting hairs?
“I think we’re good now,” she said, running her fingers through her hair.
“But—”
“No, but. We’re safe. Our four-legged friend—or should I say ‘sometimes on two, sometimes on four, I yam what I am, can you guess me more’—has ended the threat.” On the heel of Elle’s words loped Coyote, licking red from her muzzle. The animal’s entire chest was stained crimson.
Someone was no longer hungry…

An excerpt from the Third Book of Valerian, Near & Afar: A bit of dialogue. Let em know if you enjoy it.

“Maybe we should take the stairs?” I murmured. Surely there were stairs. My mind returned to Dad’s apartment, just before it was ripped in two by forces unknown. Taking the elevator there would have been a death sentence.
“I’ll go first,” volunteered Red. “Kaelynn, you watch my six. Maggie, Phillip, I need you two to stay put till I reach the elevator doors… just in case.”
“In case of what,” I asked, grabbing his arm. “By the way, how did you know those were elevator doors? I thought you were…”
“What,” he growled, turning slightly. “You thought I was what, uncivilized, brutish….?”
“Ummm, I was going to say 16th Century-ish. I don’t remember there being any ‘elevator doors’ or elevators, back in the day. Didn’t you just come from, ‘back in the day’?”
“Seriously,” began Maggie, glaring.
"Fine," I said, throwing my hands up in surrender. "Excuse me for asking, that's all." Sheesh, talk about people being sensitive. The bigger they are, the more sensitive they must be!
“Not all of us are as we seem, young Phillip. Like you, I too have become accustomed to the ways of this time and place.”
“Ouch… you got me,” I said. Then, smiling, “You do what you gotta do, big man. We’ll all follow just like you said.”
A moment longer, and Red turned back to face the elevators. “Like I was saying,” he began, “once I get a door open, the rest of you can follow my ancient, ignorant ass. Sound like a plan?” And before anyone could say anything, and with nary a sound- which was amazing, Red shot forward, skirting displays and open shelves without raising any resistance or alarms. In no time at all he was at the elevator doors.
“One of these days, I’m going to punch that man in the throat,” I said through my teeth.

Excerpt from Conquistador- story included in the title: Collected Tales, now available on Amazon.

After barely escaping with their lives, Phillip and Maggie reminisce on just how close they came to being killed. All my books can be found on Amazon and Audible.

“We’ve got to get our story straight,” Ash said, leaning in close, eyes swallowing his. Setting the globe down, she grabbed Eli’s hand and pulled him close.
“What do you mean… story straight?” asked Jake. At that moment Ash’s eyes took on a fearsomely wicked gleam.
“About what we saw out there before the adults found us.”
Jake was confused.
“The faerie fire…” Eli added, eyes mirroring his sister’s. As he spoke Jake quickly peeked around the corner toward the kitchen; his mom had hung up the phone and was conferring quietly with his father, neither one looking in their direction.
At the mere mention of faerie fire, Jake felt the butterflies in his stomach start up again. He’d been so happy to be rescued he’d almost forgotten all about them. “But we should tell our parents, right?” Even though he didn’t sound so sure at the moment. "I think they need to know."
“We can’t,” Ash said. “It’s got to be our little secret.” She went on. “You know how adults can ruin things they don’t understand. They’ll say we made it all up, or that we can’t hang around each other anymore.” She suddenly seemed to grow older. “I say we make a pact to never say anything to anyone, ever, about how the faerie fire brought us to your parents… pinky swear.” As she said this, she jabbed her little finger into the space between them. Eli immediately wrapped his little finger around hers; "So o Del dela, oda ela", he said, "What God gives will be."

From The Summer People Book 1

A report was taken on a particular December day in 2017, involving three children who were lost in a freak Montana snowstorm, for nearly twelve hours. Countless volunteers scoured the thirteen-thousand-acre woods surrounding a farm outside of Helena without success or sign- until approximately 3:00 AM the next morning when the children were discovered, much to everyone’s relief, alive. Despite a night of sub-zero temperatures, the children survived with little to no injury and were happily and tearfully reunited with their families.

What the report doesn’t say, is how they were found- what led the volunteers to find the children in the first place- an event that would be classified as a UFFP, or Unexplained Free-Floating Phenomenon.

Simply put, what appeared to be intelligently controlled lights, not of any origin currently known.

This unbelievable story of rescue, and the events that immediately followed, can now be found- uncut, and unedited, in The Summer People, Volumes 1-4 on Amazon, or the Annotated Hardback Edition available at B&N. These books are also available on Audible. Links below.

Excerpt: The Summer People Book 1

Jake opened his mouth- only to just as quickly shut it. There it was again-- that light, a movement, just out of the corner of his eye. Ash immediately grabbed his hand as if she’d just seen it, too. When he looked directly at the source of the light, though, he saw nothing, only darkness. “What the heck?” he muttered. He was trying to get Eli’s attention when all of a sudden-
“Faerie fire,” breathed Eli.
“What?”
“Ignis fatuus,” the boy went on, staring off into darkness.

This...

Not too far from the truth- (Pictures obviously taken from Missouri.)

Wooden Christmas trees. Place your orders!!

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