Lofty Harper Advance Planning Funeral Professional

True Fact -

When George Lucas was mixing the American Graffiti soundtrack, he numbered the reels of film starting with an R and numbered the dialog starting with a D. Sound designer Walter Murch asked George for Reel 2, Dialog 2 by saying "R2D2". George liked the way that sounded so much he integrated that into another project he was working on.

Joke of the day -

When the husband came home from his job, he found his wife crying. "Your mother insulted me, very much." she sobbed. "My mother? How could she do that when she's on a vacation on the other side of the world?" "I know. But this morning, a letter addressed to you arrived. I opened it, because I was curious." "And?" "At the end of the letter, it was written: P.S. Dear Catherine, when you've read this letter, don't forget to give it to my son."

Timeline Photos

Riddle of the day -

What does a blind man see, a deaf man hear, and if you eat it you are sure to die?

The Answer
Nothing

Joke of the day -

A dying man gives each of his best friends -- a lawyer, doctor and clergyman -- an envelope containing $25,000 in cash to be placed in his coffin.

A week later the man dies and the friends each place an envelope in the coffin. Several months later, the clergyman confesses that he only put $10,000 in the envelope and sent the rest to a mission in South America.

The doctor confesses that his envelope had only $8,000 because he donated to a medical charity.

The lawyer is outraged, "I am the only one who kept my promise to our dying friend. I want you both to know that the envelope I placed in the coffin contained my own personal check for the entire $25,000."

Thinking Like a Farmer by Jim Rohn
One of the difficulties we face in our industrialized age is the fact we’ve lost our sense of seasons. Unlike the farmer whose priorities change with the seasons, we have become impervious to the natural rhythm of life. As a result, we have our priorities out of balance. Let me illustrate what I mean:
For a farmer, springtime is his most active time. It’s then when he must work around the clock, up before the sun and still toiling at the stroke of midnight. He must keep his equipment running at full capacity because he has but a small window of time for the planting of his crop. Eventually winter comes when there is less for him to do to keep him busy.
There is a lesson here. Learn to use the seasons of life. Decide when to pour it on and when to ease back, when to take advantage and when to let things ride. It’s easy to keep going from nine to five year in and year out and lose a natural sense of priorities and cycles. Don’t let one year blend into another in a seemingly endless parade of tasks and responsibilities. Keep your eye on your own seasons, lest you lose sight of value and substance.

Joke of the day - BIG Trouble!

A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed, but asked to see them individually.

So the mother sent her 8-year-old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon.

The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"

They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open, wide-eyed.

So the clergyman repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"
Again the boy made no attempt to answer.

So the clergyman raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "WHERE IS GOD!?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time, dude...
God is missing--and they think WE did it!"

Riddle of the week: It stands on one leg with its heart in its head. What is it?

The Answer
Cabbage.

Joke of the week - There are two rules for success: 1.) Don't tell all you know.

Great customer service comes standard with every policy we help a client insure. There is no phone bank here, just a concerned and engaged team that is ready for an opportunity to earn your business!

Joke of the week - Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a frog.
What's wrong with that?
I think I'm going to croak.

Golf -
I can relate to this comment. How about you?

I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and one over a swimming pool. - George Brett

Some people have skeletons in their closet. I have a whole graveyard!

Happy Halloween!!!

True Fact - The youngest pope was 11 years old.

Things We Can Learn From a Dog:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Thought of the week -

“Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.”

~ Gail Devers

Joke of the week -

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, 'When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?'

Artie said: "I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man."

Eugene commented: 'I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives.'

Carl said: 'I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'

Did you know? - Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.

Joke of the week - Rest In Peace

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new
business site and the owner read the card, "Rest in Peace."

The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.

After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied, "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying, 'Congratulations on your new location.'"

Thought of the week - "The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself. It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help of others; it is in yourself alone."
Orison Swett Marden

Thursday's Thought - "A good plan executed today is better than a perfect plan executed tomorrow." -General George Patton

Wednesday's Chuckle - Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said:” Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."