Kamga

“Prayer works. Praise is better.”

I’ve paraphrased what my teacher said. Here’s what I got:

Stop making requests, focus your energy on giving thanks. When you have an attitude of gratitude, you don’t need to ask.

To be genuinely grateful, you must find the blessings in your life. It’s a muscle to be exercised:

Giving thanks each morning you get to see. Each night you have shelter. Every time you eat. Every time you arrive at your destination.

With an attitude of praise, you realize that you have so much already. Stuff you prayed for. Stuff you didn’t even pray for but you got anyway.

It’s hard to feel dejected when you focus on praising God.

It’s so easy to get tripped up by vision.

Once you know where you’re going, you must reign the enthusiasm in to begin the work.

Don’t get lost in vision boards, or meetings, or calendars or plans.

Take the next necessary step.

Why should you read?

1. Combat malnutrition: Books are like a full meal. Blog posts and articles are like appetizers.

You can eat appetizers all you want - you’ll always be malnourished.

2. Strengthens your mind: In a world where attention span is rapidly declining, reading is a form of mental exercise.

You need to sit and focus on the page for hours - days even. By so doing, you’re building your focus muscle.

3. Cheap experience: A book would contain the key findings of a PhD or expert of some sort.

For less than the price of a meal, you can gain 40 years worth of experience in those 200+ pages.

That’s a bargain!

4. Improved communication: You’ll come across new words and new concepts. You’ll learn the meanings of the words and how to use them.

Not only will you have more things to talk about, but you’ll also be a lot more capable (and confident) to talk about them.

5. Leave a reason in the comments!

What’s ONE skill that if you acquired, would really improve your life?

Discernment is key.
If you keep falling for the same lie, they’re no longer the problem. 🫣

If you’re still breathing, your story isn’t over.

Don’t give up.

What's something you'd like to know about life in America?🤔

What do you wish your parents had done differently?

I’m not a parent. Not biologically, anyway. But in many ways as the first child, I’ve found myself morphing into one over the years.

Now, I’ve learned to catch myself in that space and remember I’m a child too. And if anything, I’m my own parent - working with the child in me whose needs I believe weren’t met. Not because my parents were “bad” but because they were human.

Like we all are. Having a child changes your life instantly. Having them for a lifetime comes with its costs: emotionally, mentally, financially, physically.

There’s a lot I’ve learned to forgive my parents about. A lot they’ll never even know I held against them.

That’s why I often say “You can’t blame your parents forever”.

Life is too wonderful to spend the energy on the past. As I’m reading this, I’m seeing my childhood in some aspects, and also understanding how my parents did their best.

More important than that though, is that I’m learning what I need to keep in mind, what I need to unlearn, if I want to continue the legacy of love my parents started.

Because I know they loved and love me - in their own way. Doesn’t mean it was the way I wanted. Doesn’t mean it was any less powerful.

I’m still reading this and I’ll share more quotes as I continue. 

What about you? Have you read this? Will you be reading it? Which quote did you like? Let me know.



Have you watched my most recent video? The link is in the first comment below 😁

Courage is a mindset, not an outcome.

When you choose between what's convenient vs. necessary, your choice is not the end. It's not the outcome. You could be wrong. And you're still at the starting point.

But by making the courageous choice daily, you strengthen that muscle.

Ten years doesn't go any faster than 5. In the same way, a day is still a day, no matter how upset or excited you are.

This, of course, is objectively speaking.

Relatively though? You've experienced time fly swiftly or dredge along.

That's why what you choose to focus on is essential.

Would you instead zoom into what you need to do today and master it calmly? Or be anxious about an unknown future and stretch the pain?

Build courage with your daily choices.

There is no nobility in holding on to old ideas when it's time to give up.

You're allowed to change your mind. To regroup. To use new data and make new choices.

Don't let who you were stand in the way of who you could be.

What you did, let you here. What you do next will lead you there.

With or without intention, our daily actions propel us into an uncertain future.

We can cry about it. Complain and be upset. Or we can accept this, abstain from poor decisions and be content with our available options.

I think it's possible to be content and still unsatisfied. You can be grateful for what you already have and want better.

Making new choices is one way to do that.

Behind every strong man or woman is a family: by blood or choice.

A brotherhood. A sisterhood.

Something.

A group that fans their flames and dries their tears.

You can’t do this life alone. You’re not that special.

You can find, earn, or create one.

Don’t outsource your education.

Don’t outsource your self-esteem.

Don’t outsource your identity.

What else shouldn’t one outsource? 🤔

In a world flooded with information, being able to focus is a super skill.

It's soo easy to find the answer these days. But...the answer to what?

And why?

I think having good questions are a better way to navigate the info-fest we live in.

If there's no guidepost, how do you know you're on the right path?

If every scroll leaves you dumber than the previous, then why bother?

Sometimes I worry that the effects of this flood will only be felt down the road.

Then I look around and see how we're all filled up but looking so hungry for substance.

That's why I can't outsource my journey.

This is your life - you can't let anyone be more responsible about it than you are.

Some things you cannot "unknow."

They’ll gnaw at your soul till you die, or do something about them.

Be careful what you learn.

There's a reason why people talk about "not watching the news."

Or why you should avoid information that everyone seems to agree with.

Because everyone does it, it doesn't make it right. And even if no one does it, the right thing is still right.

(Who gets to decide what the right thing is? That's another story.)

On your journey to build a better life, you will discover knowledge that will change you. And it's not all bad.

The unease you feel when doing the "wrong" thing is a sign that you know what you should be doing.

Even if you don't know exactly what it is, you know what you should stop doing.

By listening to your gut and leaning into this, you can forge a path that is yours, a path that fills you with more joy and meaning.

Listen to the gnawing feeling. You can suppress it. Drown it. Scream at it.

But like a roach, it'll never die. On your deathbed, you'll feel it a thousandfold worse.

Just do something about it today, kay?

It is easy to wake up early when you have something you look forward to.

Give yourself something to look forward to. Start small. It doesn't have to be a monumental goal that scares you from your dreams lake a mental alarm clock.

It can be kind. It can be soft. It can be happy.

But it must mean something more to you than sleeping away.

Of course, listen to your body. Experiment. And by all that is good and kind GO TO BED EARLY so you can wake up earlier.

Friends for a season, reason, lifetime– we need them all; we are them all at some point.

Friends for a season, reason, lifetime– we need them all; we are them all at some point.

The older I get, the more I cherish friendships. Not just old friends - people I meet in a new city who are exceptionally lovely ( and by "exceptionally," I mean they're that way without trying to be).

Strangers on the internet who eventually hop on a call to talk about life and whatever.

I felt like I could not live without friends in my early twenties. Then in my thirties, during some of the most painful times in my life, I had no one around me: not by choice - living abroad has its...issues.

I've understood that friendships are neither hard nor straightforward. You show up for someone, invest in them, and hopefully, they do the same. If you don't feel that they give a s**t, you can choose to continue investing. Or stop.

Friendship is a choice. And you must decide how much someone stays in your life.

We've all known when it was time to leave and didn't. We've all regretted leaving too early. And we all have people we are grateful didn't leave or never stayed.

Choose your friends. And choose to be a good one. It's more in your control than you think.

Alive and grateful.

This is my default answer to "How are you?"

Mostly because I've come to accept that not everyone wants to know how I am when they ask ( and also because whatever I'm dealing with is my business, and I get to decide who I share with and how much)

But this statement, it's another reminder of what is and what I want to feel at any given point.

It's not meant to be a platitude: being alive means, I still got a shot at life. I can still seize the day.

Being grateful means as much as there's "stuff" I'd like, I must remember to look at what I already have, what I already won, and give things.

I pray that you remember you're alive and stay grateful for everything.

Yesterday is gone; you can't undo it. Tomorrow's not here and not assured.

Today's as good as any to start.

Everything you did brought you to this point in time. Wherever you want to go will depend on what you do next and now, this moment you have.

Carpe diem

It’s a good day to be kind.

Don’t teach children your fears in the name of prudence.

"Don’t teach children your fears in the name of prudence."

I love my parents, and I still see how the things they feared have crept into my life. I know others who have had worse experiences. Others we the reverse - beautiful, supportive families to this day.

All of us, at some point, had been tasked with the burden of undoing: of taking what we were told by the people who brought us into the world and re-writing it.

It makes sense if you consider it: we are all unique individuals. What may work for one could kill another.

The mistake I see is where we justify our fears - to ourselves and eventually to our children.

And I only say this because we assume becoming a parent would suddenly change us or that we will do better than our parents because we have the internet.

lol

We'll do the same thing if we don't address those fears—ad infinitum.

“We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.”

- Robin Williams (as John Keating in “Dead Poets Society”)

Art speaks. Good art compels. Great art exposes.

The first painting you see called me like a long lost friend. I just couldn’t get myself away from her. Finding the words to describe the feeling, I started contemplating what I loved so much about artists: a love for life, an obsession with observation ; an obstinate drive to keep getting better and sharing their gift with the world. This is what did through this piece for me.

Visiting was a relatively unplanned trip that opened up the valves of feelings I’d forgotten.

I didn’t get the chance to talk more with the maker of these pieces, but I know that time will come.

Overall, the color, joy, happiness and life the words exuded didn’t escape me.

Or maybe I was the one interpreting it this way. Blood is colorful. But it’s not always a sign of life Art, on the other hand, is a sign of life.

And I’ll cherish this life for as long as I have it.

PS: if you’re in the Detroit area, these and more can be found at the Norwest Gallery of Art - the people are super kind to strangers and very enthusiastic about their work and the underserved community they serve.

Visit them:

Works in photos are by :

Credits: yours truly,

Verb your way into the noun.

I think Austin Kleon once said: "Most people want the noun without doing the verb." It still hits me whenever I push my writing habit away or even speak of it.

It captures the idea that we all want to "be" something: writer, parent, husband, or business owner, without "doing" the thing.

We want to be called something we can't do.

This is a reminder that by doing, we become. So if you want to be a writer, write. Want to be a parent? Parent.

Want to be a business owner? Own a business.

The verb is all we need. The action of doing the thing brings forth the thing.

So...do the thing to become it.

Nothing will bring you greater peace than a mindful life full of gratitude.

Yay or nay? 🤔

Someone is dealing with something you’ll never understand.

You’re dealing with something no one will ever understand.

It doesn't take rocket science to realize that we all struggle for something - usually the same things in different formats.

We want to be loved and to love. We want to be healthy and our loved ones to be too. And ideally, we'd like to be able to afford a life we're comfortable with, together with our loved ones.

This may mean going to Mars for others, and it's acing that interview for a minimum wage job for some. The human experience is a spectrum spread across all of us.

It's important to remember that the pain we may be able to overcome easily could kill another. We don't have a monopoly on how people deal with loss and struggles.

However, we can be nice to each other, just in case.

Be nice, just in case.

Just in case. 😊

You will always offend someone.

Accept this, and live.

"You will always offend someone.

Accept this, and live."

You've experienced this at some point: looking back to an action you carried and wondering why on earth you ever bothered? Why did you act in a manner so unlike you just to "prove" something?

When I started writing online, no one read. It was so much fun. Even now, I still feel some of that fun when no one does. But the moment the comments come in? The moment I get questioned for my ideas? Boy do I feel instant regret.

This reminder is for me. It's something of a mantra I have to repeat to remember that if I keep doing this - writing for approval ( or doing anything for approval), I'll remain in this debilitating cycle of fear that'll hold me back.

Remember this, too: you will offend someone either way. Might as well live.

It’s one thing to deal with one’s emotions. It’s another thing to hide them.

You don’t need to hide what you’ve dealt with. It integrates the whole.

Hiding is temporary, leading to chronic consequences.

Dealing is acute (can be chronic, too), leading to long-term peace.