Big Picture

FRIDAY NIGHT FRIGHTS
STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL

"Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip, stir!"

On this very day and date, 45 years ago, a nation weary of disco, high gas prices and President Carter's creeping malaise turned their hopeful eyes toward CBS, yearning for new stories from a galaxy far, far away.

Instead they got STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL, two hours of ill-conceived variety television at turns brilliant, questionable, forgettable and absurd. I have broken this down in the past more than once, including its overlap with the similarly awful RINGO special from 1978, and there is little more to be said about its origins and failings. There is also a new documentary, A DISTURBANCE IN THE FORCE, screening somewhere near you where the surviving participants relive their attempt to cram George Lucas' vision into the constraints of television business expectations.

Instead of rehashing all of that again, I'm going to try and put some context around STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL, and what it meant to at least one fan.

I was an eager-eyed 9 year old on that Friday night, sitting in my favorite chair right in front of the RCA 21" color console TV, considered one of the better options of the era. I had read the advertisements and the press previews. There would be a new STAR WARS story! All the original cast would be there! We would meet a new villain who would have an important role in the next STAR WARS movie. Harvey Korman! (If you were a young child in the late 1970s, you almost certainly knew Korman from The Carol Burnett Show, The Muppet Show, or HUCKLEBERRY FINN.)

For myself, and likely a generation of young STAR WARS fans, nothing on television could have lived up to our expectations. We were yet to grasp the nature of the hype machine, though this STAR WARS misadventure likely played an outsized role in cultivating Gen X cynicism) and we were not regular consumers of variety television. What we thought we were getting was a new STAR WARS adventure. Most of what aired committed the worst possible crime any entertainment can commit against a child: It was boring.

People talking in Wookiee with no subtitles? Boring. Green-screen acrobats fresh from a Buggles video shoot? Boring. Diahann Carrol? Boring, at least I hit high school and understood what she was supposed to be doing. I still hope she fired her agent after that.

The schoolyard critical review benefitted from the show running on a Friday, which left an entire weekend of more interesting experiences to soften its disappointing impact. The recess conversations on Monday morning were halting.

"Did you see it?" "Yeah. I don't want to talk about it."

"The cartoon was good. I like Boba Fett." "Yeah."

This was good news for the kid who didn't get to see it because his parents hauled him off to some family event. If nobody wanted to talk about it, he wasn't left out.

It was bad news for that one kid who really liked it, but nobody wanted to talk to that kid anyway. (That kid grew up to be an insurance salesman who owns three houses and two boats, but you still wouldn't want to have a conversation with him.)

STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL was my first real taste of crushing disappointment, and the realization that the thing I loved most could wind up in the hands of unreliable people, or people who I thought were reliable until they foisted Ewoks and Jar Jar Binks on me. It is the moment where STAR WARS starts to go off the rails, sowing seeds of skepticism that would magnify through every awkward moment of the prequel trilogy and the near-total destruction of the franchise at the hands of Disney.

This was the moment when my generation discovered that STAR WARS could do wrong, and that the earnest attempts of talented people could come up so far below expectations that you wondered why you bothered with expectations in the first place. I won't go as far as to say it was a generation-defining event, as we had plenty to chew on over the next three years, but for those of us who lived through it on that November night, a bit of cynicism crept into our psyches.

That may explain why it remains a cult classic among Gen Xers. We watch and rewatch its unchanging mess to rekindle the hope we once had, and to reacquaint ourselves with the way reality can stomp into our lives and rip apart our stuffed Banthas, like a Stormtrooper trying to satisfy an officer who snaps his fingers too much.

To celebrate the 45th anniversary, grab some milk and cookies, put on your pajamas, and settle in front of the YouTubes with this version, which includes all of the commercials that aired during the broadcast on WMAR in Baltimore. For maximum effect, watch it with an impressionable child who loves STAR WARS. There are life lessons here worth learning, and if you don't take it too seriously, the whole thing is a hoot.

star wars holiday special with commercials good quality from 3 different sources I pieced together a good quality version of the infamous Star Wars holiday special

FRIDAY NIGHT FRIGHTS
RINGO

In honor of the release of "Now and Then,' let's take a well-deserved break from horror and gore and spend Friday night with a couple of Beatles.

How many bad 1978 TV variety specials feature Art Carney and Carrie Fisher singing? One more than you probably know.

As I did last year, I am giving November over to a different kind of horror: TV variety specials. So many of these are awful due to the slipshod way they were made. They existed to fill a programming hour at a time when most people were away from home, or to pad out the end of the broadcast season before summer repeats began.

None other than Ringo Starr is the victim of this outing, which aired on NBC on April 26, 1978. Written by Neal Israel and Pat Proft, who a few years later wrote the brilliant BACHELOR PARTY and POLICE ACADEMY, this is the kind of hasty promotional content that darkened prime time television until MTV came along and gave music promoters a better outlet.

The plot is a riff on Twain's The Prince and the Pauper. Ringo, recording a new album in L.A., is overwhelmed, as we learn in a grating sketch that features John Ritter as Ringo's sleazy manager. If only he could get away.

He can, it turns out, because L.A. is also home to one Ognir Rrats, a maps-to-the-stars selling loser who looks just like Ringo. They switch places. Calamity ensues because Ognir can't play the drums and Ringo gets turned in to the police for suspected car theft by Ognir's overbearing father. Art Carney tackles that role (and, apparently, the craft services buffet) with an overbearing performance in which he may or may not be attempting a south London working-class accent. It's difficult to tell in part because he shouts every line, and in part because the accent comes and goes, sometimes from sentence to sentence.

Carrie Fisher is also here, because who doesn't want to get high with a Beatle? If you thought the song "You're Sixteen" was creepy, just wait until you see 38-year-old Ringo sing it to Carrie, dressed up like a 1950s teenager, as she stares at him adoringly.

The special's second-creepiest moment is a tribute to "Yellow Submarine" featuring 20 or so shirtless men jazz dancing to an orchestral reworking of the song while Ringo sings the title over and over again. I'm sure this has an appeal lost on my heterosexual male eyes.

Ringo also sings "With a Little Help from My Friends," or at least part of it, before they stick in royalty-free sound bites of Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis and Buddy Holly, in front of a wall of smoke lit with lasers, which was really something back in 1978. There's a three-song performance at the end featuring forgettable tracks from his Bad Boy album, and if you look closely, you'll see Dr. John playing the keyboards.

Parts of this are pure disaster. Angie Dickinson took a couple of hours off shooting Police Woman to arrest Ringo. There's an interlude on the set of the Mike Douglas show, which likely began with someone saying, "We can get the set for two hours, and Mike says he'll stick around."

Then there are the parts that hold it together. George Harrison dropped by for an afternoon ("Get a one-camera setup on him, then get him in the booth to narrate!"). Vincent Price is up for his role as a psychiatrist specializing in hypnosis. Fisher plays along in her role, and Ringo, for all his unhappiness with the show, is the charming, goofy self that everyone loves.

Ringo and George manage to infuse a bit of Monty Python silliness into the special, and there are a couple of really good jokes from Israel and Proft. It's enough to salvage the hour from being a complete dumpster fire. It's more a smoldering dumpster with the occasional pop of flame. Absolutely worth 47 minutes of your time, and best enjoyed with a case of Watney's Red Barrel or half a bottle of Beefeater.

"Ringo", a Ringo Starr US-TV special, aired April 26, 1978 A 44-minute film telling the story of Ringo and his poor look-a-like Ognir Rrats, narrated by George Harrison. Songs include: 1. "I Am The Greatest", 2. "Act...

FRIDAY NIGHT FRIGHTS
V/H/S 2

Beautiful, aren't they? But not as beautiful as yours will be.

I don't like horror anthologies. I don't like found-footage movies. I don't like THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT. So it is somewhat surprising that this week's recommendation, and my must-watch Halloween pick, is a found-footage anthology made by the creators of THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT.

V/H/S 2 must be seen by anyone with a tolerance for gore, because it features some of the best horror storytelling of this millennium. Those who hate anthologies for the proper reasons - they are uneven, with low-quality, inconsequential wraparound stories - will not find anything to change their minds in the first 26 minutes. Go ahead and skip to 26:28 if you want to get to the good stuff, or use the first part of the film to get your drunk on. Then strap in for a hell of a ride.

There are three short films that make up the bulk of the film's runtime. A RIDE IN THE PARK, made by BLAIR WITCH creators Eduardo Sanchez and Gregg Hale, uses a helmet-mounted GoPro to tell the story of a guy out on a bike ride who turns into a zombie. SAFE HAVEN, directed by Timo Tjahjanto of MAY THE DEVIL TAKE YOU and Gareth Evans of APOSTLE, follows a film crew as it investigates the compound of a religious cult, unaware that the cult leader has chosen their arrival to coincide with the summoning of a demon. SLUMBER PARTY ALIEN ABDUCTION, directed by Jason Eisener, who later adapted this into the feature-length KIDS VS. ALIENS, sees a Friday night sleepover interrupted by alien attackers, with much of the story told via a camera mounted on a Yorkshire Terrier's collar.

The wraparound, which continues the universe established in V/H/S, something about people collecting tapes of horrific incidents that will drive them mad or help them achieve enlightenment or whatever, is the film's weakest element, despite fan service in the first few minutes and a bit of clever scripting that could only happen in an anthology wraparound. PHASE I CLINICAL TRIALS, directed by Adam Wingard (GODZILLA VS. KONG, YOU'RE NEXT), is a show reel of found-footage jump-scare setups. If you like that, you'll like this, but it is nowhere near as clever, shocking or entertaining as the rest of the film.

This is a guaranteed crowd pleaser for horror fans, worthy of inclusion if you're hosting a horror movie marathon. This is the only appropriate use of most anthologies. People can drop in and out as they wish. You can refresh your drink or hit the bathroom when the linking story appears. All you need is the attention span for the short films, all of which are beyond worthy of your time, and you will have a blast with this.

Of the three best films, A RIDE IN THE PARK stands out for its creativity. It adds some refreshing ideas to the well-trodden rules of zombie cinema and has a strong vein of dark humor.

SAFE HAVEN is the best overall, and worth watching independent of the rest of the film. A slow-burn setup gives way to gore-soaked mayhem with moments you have never experienced in any other film. It feels a bit like a later Resident Evil game in places, but it is also terrifying to its final frame.

This was originally a VOD release, and all of it was shot on digital. TUBI's presentation looks as good as any other film of this nature. A RIDE IN THE PARK is notable for its bright, sunny outdoor setting, while SAFE HAVEN keeps the lighting levels high throughout. Only PHASE I CLINICAL TRIALS suffers from some compromised visuals, in part by design. Don't let it set low expectations for the rest of the film.

Skip the first V/H/S and go straight to this sequel, which is superior to the original in every aspect and one of the most memorable horror films of this century. If you were disappointed in V/H/S or one of the other entries in this series, do not skip V/H/S 2. You are missing out.

Excessive gore, nudity, strong sexual situations and scenes that will scare the hell out of you demand that this be kept from anyone under the age of 18. This is MA-rated material by any standard. You may want to make sure your bowels are empty before SAFE HAVEN kicks in, so you don't wind up having to pause and clean the sofa.

If you plan to show this in a pairing or as part of a horror marathon, put it on last. Any feature will seem slow after the frantic action SAFE HAVEN and SLUMBER PARTY ALIEN ABDUCTION. Great setups for this include CREEPSHOW, the only truly excellent horror anthology, CREEPSHOW 2, if your tastes run toward that underappreciated sequel, or .REC for a night of found-footage horror.

V/H/S/2 (2013) Searching for a missing student, private investigators discover a pile of videotapes that may reveal the frightening truth in this horror anthology.

FRIDAY NIGHT FRIGHTS
TRAIN TO BUSAN

"I'll take you to mom, no matter what."

Freed from its Netflix paywall, TRAIN TO BUSAN is a must-see for anyone who likes movies. Not just zombie movies. Not just Korean movies. Movies.

What sets it apart from everything that came before is its focus on its characters. This is a film about love and relationships set against the first hours of a zombie outbreak. You can almost imagine Pixar making a film like this, in part because director Yeon Sang-ho has an animation background, but mainly because this is, above all else, a heartbreaking family drama.

Turn on the closed captions (there is no English dialogue option) and settle in. The first scene of this film is one of the most striking in any horror movie. It's a real, "How did they do that?" moment in an era where those are hard to find. It sets a very high bar that the rest of the film meets as it doles out truly innovative and frightening scenarios to threaten the characters we come to love.

Acting is well above and beyond the norm for horror cinema, with a few familiar faces. Lead Gong Yoo appeared in Squid Game, while Choi Woo-shik had a leading role in PARASITE. Fans of South Korean cop and crime films will recognize Ma Dong-seok, playing his typical tough guy with a strong moral code.

The film demands this, because it is about relationships. It calls back to the dramatic tension of Alfred Hitchcock's LIFEBOAT and the emotional resonance of who lives and dies, breaking with the tradition of uneasy but necessary relationships forged by George Romero in his seminal films NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD and DAWN OF THE DEAD. We are not here to watch these characters die, we are here to cheer their survival. It is the only zombie tearjerker you can currently see.

Fast zombie haters should set aside their disdain to give this a shot. The zombies are straight out of WORLD WAR Z, with similar swarming and cooperative attacking behaviors. Those abilities are used to far greater effect here than they were in Brad Pitt's film, and the zombies themselves are a bit beside the point. TRAIN TO BUSAN is about people who love each other grappling with life-or-death choices, revealing their characters through their actions under duress.

TUBI's presentation is every bit as good as what Netflix offered. TRAIN TO BUSAN was shot on 2.8K digital and mastered at 2K at a time when those formats were becoming common. It doesn't look like film, but it looks damn clean, and it's well lit throughout.

Set aside any poor experiences you previously had with South Korean genre cinema. The effects here are on par with anything Hollywood produced after 2012.

Pair this with SHAWN OF THE DEAD or NIGHTMARE CITY for an amazing night of zombie films that defy genre expectations. Don't be afraid to share this with teens or preteens; though it carries a TV-MA rating on TUBI, that is solely for violence and scary situations. There is no nudity, drug use, drinking or sexual situations, and very little foul language. It may earn a very soft R for its violence, which is frantic and seldom lingers, but it could also pass as a hard PG-13. Kids who have seen JAWS and ALIEN have seen more graphic violence than anything this film offers. Anyone who has seen SQUID GAME will find this film far less cruel.

If you have yet to experience TRAIN TO BUSAN, put it at the top of your must-wath list. It is an excellent apocalyptic drama with zombies, and another fantastic example of South Korea's genre-bending storytelling.

Train to Busan (2016) Relentless terror marks the fight for survival as a massive zombie outbreak in South Korea leaves survivors on an infected train from Seoul to Busan.

FRIDAY NIGHT FRIGHTS
FRIDAY THE 13TH

You're going to Camp Blood, ain't ya? It's got a death curse!

There is only one option for Friday the 13th during October, and that's FRIDAY THE 13TH, or one of its many sequels. All are entertaining to varying degrees, except FRIDAY THE 13TH PART VIII, JASON TAKES MANHATTAN, which is too disappointing in too many ways to enjoy.

If you have Max, you have access to all of them. You can also rent them via YouTube or Amazon. This is one of those cases where fans are better served with physical media than streaming. FRIDAY THE 13TH remains very popular and bounces around the streaming services whenever the possibility of fresh dollars emerges. Buying these movies on disc is the only way to guarantee access during that one weekend each year when you want them.

As always, the original remains the best choice: A true Hollywood giallo with some nice Tom Savini special effects, a few of which were inspired by Mario Bava's A BAY OF BLOOD, which is streaming for free on TUBI and a suitable alternative if you don't feel like shelling out a few bucks to watch teens get chopped up with a machete. If you're interested in exploring the rest of the series, here are a few recommendations:

FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER and FRIDAY THE 13TH: A NEW BEGINNING should be watched back to back. This are the meaningful parts of the Tommy Jarvis saga, with Corey Feldman playing Jarvis in FINAL CHAPTER. A NEW BEGINNING tends to get savaged for daring to challenge expectations, but it is one of the textbook slasher films of the 1980s and one of the most entertaining entries in the series.

FREDDY VS. JASON
While this suffers from the Joss Wheedonification of teen storytelling and never actually declares a victor, it does include some outstanding moments, including Jason tearing through a group of teens partying in a cornfield. While he's on fire. It's worth watching that scene by itself, but it's also worth watching to see how director Ronny Yu (BRIDE OF CHUCKY) shifts between the NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET and FRIDAY THE 13TH aesthetics. It may be a more satisfying film for A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET fans, particularly those who love the later entries like THE DREAM CHILD, but it delivers plenty of good Jason action, and Ken Krizinger draws out some real character for Jason that the film required. Could Kane Hodder have done just as well? That debate rages on, but it's hard to argue with what made it to the screen.

FIRDAY THE 13TH (2009)
The Michael-Bay-produced 2009 reboot, featuring a script by FREDDY VS. JASON writers Damian Shannon and Mark Swift, tends to be overlooked or outright ignored. It emerged as part of a wave of Bay-led, grimdark reimaginings of classic horror films under his Platinum Dunes label, including THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, THE AMITYVILLE HORROR and A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET, all of which removed the goofy fun of 1980s slashers and replaced it with the gore-soaked suffering of the New French Extreme. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET was arguably the worst of these remakes, while THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, like the FRIDAY remake, directed by German-born Marcus Nispel, is the best for those who want the full New Extreme experience.

FRIDAY THE 13TH is one of the better entries among the Platinum Dunes remakes, surpassing CHAINSAW for entertainment value. Though it relies too heavily on jump scares to offer much for repeat viewing, it was clearly crafted by people who had both a deep appreciation and a deep affection for the original FRIDAY films.

As such, it is neither a remake or a reboot, but something of a sequel, set in the present day after the events of the original FRIDAY THE 13TH. Jason is a grown man now. He witnessed his mother's murder, kept her head and learned how to live off the land around Camp Crystal Lake, which is also, unfortunately for adventurous teens, home to a very large ma*****na patch. The pot brings the kids. Breasts are exposed. Sexual relations happen. Drinking games are played. Then Jason shows up and kills everyone. This is what the fans want, and the 2009 film delivers all the classic elements of the FRIDAY formula, along with several nods and homages to past entries for those who keep a sharp eye as the camera follows Jason around his intricate tunnels.

A leaner, meaner, more terrifying Jason gets some context here, slipping away from the supernatural superhero he became in later franchise installments to a grounded and semiplausibly realistic character, much in the vein of Christopher Nolan's Batman. This was a refreshing change for the series, and I remember walking out of the theater wanting more, even though the film has some deep flaws. It holds the award for Worst Use of a Wood Chipper in Cinema, and while I can understand the desire to avoid comparisons with FARGO, that outcome would have been far more satisfying, and cost-effective, than the convoluted mess at the film's climax.

Pacing also suffers throughout the third act, though this is partly due to the frantic pace the film sets in its early scenes. One thing viewers will appreciate is how well lit all the nighttime scenes are. This should be mandatory viewing for the cinematographers blowing thousands of dollars of costumes, makeup, sets and production design on "natural lighting" that is, in fact, black screens where the viewer cannot see anything. It wasn't that long ago that nighttime scenes were lit for contrast and shadow. This film does that extremely well. You will wonder how that skill set disappeared so quickly.

You will recognize the cast if you are a fan of the CW network. Gilmore Girls alum Jared Padalecki plays the hero, while most of the rest of the cast, including Amanda Righetti, is filled out with serial TV guest stars. Genre specialist Danielle Panabaker (THE CRAZIES) turns in an above-average performance, as does Derek Mears (PREDATORS) in the role of Jason.

This is about as good as it gets for slashers from this era. Though reliance on jump scares makes it only worth dusting off after memories fade, it lives at the crossroads of SEVEN-inspired production design, CGI gore and the New French Extreme without treading into the worst excesses of those influences.

If you have Max, you will find this, along with most of the FRIDAY THE 13TH series, available for streaming. Pair it with FREDDY VS. JASON or FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2, the latter of which forms the basis for the story. It also runs well alongside Luca Guadajino's SUSPIRIA as film that is less remake or reboot than a modern continuation of an existing story.

This FRIDAY entry is a very hard R, with above-average levels of violence, nudity, sexual situations and drug use, calling back to the morality play roots of the slasher genre. If you've avoided it, the film is well worth your time. If it's been a decade since you watched it, give it a fresh look and prepare to be very pleasantly surprised.

Since I always close with a link, here's one for Mario Bava's A BAY OF BLOOD, worth a watch if you're FRIDAYed out, or if you like a little giallo intrigue with your slashings.

A Bay of Blood (English-Language Version) (1971) The murder of a countess triggers a chain reaction of killings in the surrounding area as several evil characters try to take over her large estate.

FRIDAY NIGHT FRIGHTS
TERRIFIER

"The suspect was last seen wearing a black and white clown costume with matching face makeup."

If you haven't heard of this 2016 low-budget slasher directed by Damien Leone, then you haven't been paying much attention to the horror genre. This film is infamous. HUMAN CENTIPEDE infamous.

That reputation comes from two things: A killer who spends the entire film mute and dressed as a clown, and some of the most outrageous gore effects in horror film history. If you have heard of the film, you have likely heard about The Scene, and I really am spoiling nothing here, in which a woman is sawed in half with a hacksaw. Vertically. While suspended upside down.

This scene happens halfway through the film, after some nasty but not entirely over the top violence. It is worth watching up to this scene, if your taste runs toward gore. It is also worth watching the rest of the movie, which speaks to the skill of Leone as a director. There is more unsettling gore that follows, though none of it rises to quite the same level as The Scene.

If gore isn't your thing, stay far, far away. While Leone is out to make an effective shocker, he is also a capable effects artist, and the film exists as much as a demo reel for that skill set as for his ability to generate suspense, which is also quite strong.

In terms of the impact of The Scene, I rank it very favorably with these moments:

1. Rosie regurgitating her internal organs in Lucio Fulci's CITY OF THE LVING DEAD.

2. The CPR scene in John Carpenter's remake of THE THING.

3. Rhodes' death at the hands and mouths of zombies in George Romero's DAY OF THE DEAD.

It's a scene that shocks you while you watch it, spares none of the brutality and stays with you long after. It will be remembered as one of the greatest scenes in horror movie history.

TERRIFIER has been unfairly labeled as a throwback to 1980's slashers. While that influence is present, it is better to say that Leone spent a lot of time thinking about how to make a movie that would have the same impact today as those films had decades ago. Leone marries the suspense-driven set pieces of better slashers with a heavy dose of New Extremity, but he also abandons the morality-play aspirations of slashers, as well as character development and backstory.

What's left is 84 minutes of people stalked and murdered by a silent clown, played to perfection by David Howard Thornton. There is no plot beyond murder and no character development beyond the most basic reasons that might cause someone to cross Art the Clown's path. These characters exist to be victims. Art the Clown exists to kill them. No deeper message exists, because Leone is concerned with getting the effects right and making the suspense work.

In those regards, the film is worthwhile. There are a few dodgy effects early on, but Leone pulls off the showstoppers with the skill of a Tom Savini or Rob Bottin. There is real suspense and a number of genuinely unpredictable moments to trip up those expecting a by-the-numbers slasher. Pacing is excellent.

What truly stands out is tone. To make a film like this watchable, let alone entertaining, requires a particular touch that gives the audience enough room to breathe and prevent psychological trauma from setting in. Leone has that touch, and Thornton understands how to bring out the qualities in Art that made Michael Meyers, Jason and Freddy the kind of villain audiences want to watch. It is these qualities that turned TERRIFIER into a cult film. Without them, it would be a showcase of gore effects worth a single watch, and not the start of a popular franchise.

TUBI presents the Dread Central scan from 2020. TERRIFIER was shot on digital and looks it, a concession to its low budget. Every frame is watchable; even the shadowy parts are bright enough to see, and there's an impressive feel to the film's production design, much of which is achieved through exceptional lighting and cinematography. Apart from some spotty acting, nothing here feels like a low-budget film.

This is an unapologetic film for the unapologetic gore fan that more than earns its MA rating. It is absolutely not for kids, but it is the kind of thing, like FACES OF DEATH, that teens will seek out as a challenge. A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET is a healthier choice, though teens who got through THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS without nightmares about Hannibal Lecter should be alright here, as this is much closer to fantasy than that film.

Pair this with your favorite gore-soaked movie. Watch that old favorite first. Remember why you loved it. Then give TERRIFIER a spin and rediscover the fun of ultra-gory exploitation cinema.

Terrifier (2016) A maniacal clown uses gruesome methods to viciously torture and murder women who have the unfortunate luck of entering his house of horrors.

FRIDAY NIGHT FRIGHTS
HIGH TENSION

"Can you give me a bottle of J&B?"

For this year's Halloween special, I'm suspending the rule that requires films to come from the golden age of the video store, which is generally before the year 2000. Through Halloween, I'll present some recent films that are among the best of some very lean years for good horror.

First up is the film that put Alexandre Aja (PIRANHA 3D) on the map, 2003's HIGH TENSION. If you have not seen this film, skip this review and go watch it now. Come back when you're done. You do not want to know anything about the film before you see it for the first time, apart from the following:

1. It is legitimately terrifying.
2. It breaks one of the major slasher movie taboos.
3. The dubbing is atrocious. Turn off your surround sound and it becomes slightly more bearable.
4. Aja knows his horror history. There are homages to Carpenter, Kubrick, Fulci and Romero throughout this film, and the appearance of J&B Scotch, which is a deep insider nod to giallo fans.
5. Aja hired Lucio Fulci's effects specialist Giannetto De Rossi (THE BEYOND) to execute practical gore effects instead of using CGI. De Rossi's work is exceptional.
6. This film is part of the "New Extremity" or "New French Extremity" category as defined by critic James Quandt to describe the realistic and brutal violence in films by Gaspar Noe, Catherine Breillat and Lars von Trier, among others.

The New Extremity is arthouse, but it's a blood-soaked, vicious, cruel kind of arthouse that marries legitimately good acting, writing and directing with the horror sensibilities of 1980s Italy. Think DEMONS with a slice-of-brutal-life story that illuminates the darkest corners of the human condition, or a sundae made from Michael Haneke's FUNNY GAMES drenched in THE TEXAS CHANSAW MASSACRE chase scenes and topped with RE-ANIMATOR blood.

If you have been dissuaded from seeing this film because of the violence, you are correct. TUBI does have the R-rated version of the film, which cuts out a few of the more extreme moments, but not enough of them to make this a "safer" version. Do not let kids watch this. Do not watch this unless you really want to be scared out of the back of the room and can handle the violence. I put it in the realm of HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER for a first-time viewing.

Go watch it now, if you're interested.

The spoilers come next.

Only read this next part if you've already seen the film, or if you have no intention of watching it and simply want to know my feelings on it.

HIGH TENSION is a bit like Quentin Tarantino's ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD: A film meant to be seen once for its maximum impact. Unlike Tarantino's film, HIGH TENSION does not survive past that initial viewing.

The problem lies in Aja's direction, which is so focused on manipulating the audience that it fails to deliver anything worthwhile if you watch it again. Once the film's secret is out, there is nothing left to enjoy. ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD is a meditation on the decline of California's studio-driven heyday with a fun twist intended to prank the audience. In HIGH TENSION, the twist is the point of the film, and Aja provides little to encourage repeat viewings. There are a few clues that you missed sprinkled about, but the central terror that grips a first-time viewer deflates once you know the truth of the story.

This is a shame, because Aja's technique is exceptional. Horror fans will find shots that precisely mirror some of horror's best-known moments, and once the action gets going, it feels like an hour-long Argento set piece. HIGH TENSION was also one of the films that helped to bring 1980s levels of gore back to horror cinema after the relatively tame or fantasy-driven horror of the 1990s, when parents' groups managed to get the upper hand over exploitation directors.

Those are all reasons to see HIGH TENSION once. Spot the homage may get you through a second viewing, but after that there is little to recommend. I haven't watched the film since its initial release, and after slogging through it for this review, I remembered why. It is ultimately bleak and pointless, an exhibition of suffering and cruelty that loses its driving force once its true nature is known.

As noted earlier, TUBI presents the version of HIGH TENSION that received an R rating in the United States by trimming some of the more extreme and lingering views of gory special effects. Nothing has been removed in its entirety, but one of the better deaths loses some of its most impressive effects work. Gore fans should seek out the Lionsgate Blu-Ray, which has the unrated cut. (Note that this may be the only time I recommend a Lionsgate Blu-Ray.)

Unlike many New Extreme films, this is not steeped in long takes of sexual violence. This one is all about the murders, and the murders are vicious. You could dip your toe into the New Extreme waters with this while avoiding the more disturbing offerings of A SERBIAN FILM or anything in Gaspar Noe's catalog. If you're looking for real, impactful horror, your first experience with HIGH TENSION is it. If you're looking for a light, fun slasher for a Friday night, stick to the American films of the 1980s.

High Tension (2002) Best friends Marie and Alexa head to a secluded farmhouse for a quiet night to study, but a late-night visitor brings a haunting change of plans.