Bella Vita Doula Services,LLC

Bereavement Coalition Meeting Join us on May 16th at noon for our quarterly Bereavement Coalition meeting. Topic: Parenting While grieving, presented by Becky Lomaka,

HERStory – Virginia Maternal Quality Care Alliance – Medicaid Awareness WATCH the latest episode of HERStory RVA with Miss Community Clovia in association with the Virginia Maternal Quality Care Alliance to discuss Medicaid Awareness with Urban Baby Beginnings and the …

Is your family growing? Would you like some dedicated time to learn and think about your postpartum period? Join us for our Postpartum Planning Class, a 2-hour class for expectant parents (2nd and 3rd trimester). All expectant parents are welcome: moms, birthing people, non-gestational parents, partners, couples, and single parents. If you are expecting a baby soon, we welcome you to join us. We will focus on the parents’ emotional wellbeing during the postpartum period. The class will include education, discussion, review of a postpartum plan, and resources. The main topics covered will be: postpartum physical recovery, partner support, self-care, support networks, lactation and emotional wellbeing, and perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. We hope that you will finish the class feeling more confident and knowledgeable about your postpartum experience.

Learn more and register at bit.ly/Postpartum2023

Join us for our Mental Health Support for Special Needs & Medically Fragile Parenting online support group 💙

This peer support group is for parents from birth to four years postpartum. This group provides a safe and supportive place for sharing feelings and challenges commonly experienced when navigating the unexpected outcome of having a child with medical complications or special needs. Logistics of care, juggling medical and therapy appointments, and unique support needs can create an isolating and overwhelming experience. Come share, connect and learn. You are not alone.

View the schedule and register at bit.ly/FindSupportGroup

See Life as God Sees It! Register for FREE to join SeeLife 24 as we mobilize believers around the country to advocate for life!

Join us for our Dads Support Group!

Our online groups are here to help you connect with other dads who have newborns up to toddlers. Our groups allow you to talk and listen to other dads as they process their experiences. Whether you are going through stress, feeling overwhelmed as you adjust to parenting, or trying to figure out how best to support your partner, our groups are here for you. You will learn about helpful tools/resources and realize you are not alone.

Learn more and register at bit.ly/FindSupportGroup!

Live on zoom Virtual teacher and doula training

Is your family growing? Would you like some dedicated time to learn and think about your postpartum period? Join us for this 2-hour class for expectant parents (2nd and 3rd trimester). All expectant parents are welcome: moms, birthing people, non-gestational parents, partners, couples, and single parents. If you are expecting a baby soon, we welcome you to join us. We will focus on the parents’ emotional wellbeing during the postpartum period. The class will include education, discussion, review of a postpartum plan, and resources. The main topics covered will be: postpartum physical recovery, partner support, self-care, support networks, lactation and emotional wellbeing, and perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. We hope that you will finish the class feeling more confident and knowledgeable about your postpartum experience.

Learn more about our free online Postpartum Planning Class at bit.ly/Postpartum2023! 💙

Beautiful 🌺

I know I've posted about this before, but.... I'm still seeing a lot of the old recommendations going around. Did you know that the recommendations for managing engorgement and plugged ducts have totally changed? For years, we were telling nursing parents to use hot compresses and go hard with the massage, and now the most recent research we have is telling us to use cold compresses and really gentle lymphatic massage, to be really gentle with the chest tissue. A lot of the swelling and pain comes from , it turns out, and aggressive pumping can actually make things worse.
So... if you are struggling with this, get some good support! Come to our Tuesday group or schedule an in-home lactation consultation, and remember that
We're here for you. You've got this.

Beautifully Honored 🌺

I am the mother of a baby nobody can see, except with our hearts.

Sketch by Bethany Kerr, just as powerful 10 years later.

💕 FEBRUARY ONLY 💕 Access Training FREE w/ code PALLOVE 🌈

Are you a healthcare provider, birth worker, or anyone else supporting families through the difficult journey of being pregnant again after a previous , , or other ?

and are teaming up to ensure that EVERY family gets the empathetic, trauma-informed care they deserve:

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Go to pushpregnancy.thinkific.com (link in Stories) and use code PALLOVE when you register to reduce your price to $0 ‼️

We know from experience that trying to bring home a is anything but rainbows and butterflies... It's harrowing, draining, complex, and downright scary. But it can *also* be empowering, healing, and beautiful - with the right support!

That's why it's critical that this model of care spread as far and wide as it can reach. You can help!

Are you a professional in the birthing world? Sign up! A parent contemplating PAL? Tell your provider! A grandparent or aunt/uncle or friend wanting to support a loved one through their pregnancy? Now's your chance to learn how!

The training course is:
❤️ Online & mobile-friendly
❤️ Self-paced
❤️ Quick (

HOW CAN YOGA HELP INSECURE ATTACHMENT? (BLOG)

The other night my husband and I were watching Oppenheimer. We got to a scene where his wife, Kitty, is sitting alone, drinking in the dark, ignoring their infant son’s screams when Robert walks in and asks her why she’s not doing anything (it doesn’t occur to him to help her or the child out, but that was the 1940s I guess). In another scene, she calls the baby a brat. And then later, the couple decide to give the baby to another couple to take care of “for a while.”

At which point we both winced and mumbled things about “insecure attachment.”

I wanted to find out how life turned out for that baby, Peter Oppenheimer, so I googled him and weirdly enough, he attended the Quaker school near where I grew up in Pennsylvania (my next door neighbors all went there). But he didn’t do well and dropped out. It seems like he may have had a lot of personal struggles. Eventually he became a carpenter and moved to rural New Mexico to live a largely secluded life – unsurprising given his early childhood experiences of rejection, and the bullying he was subjected to because of his father’s political activities.

In the 1960s, an American-Canadian researcher named Mary Ainsworth designed experiments to see how young children respond to stress and how it plays out in their relationship with their caregiver. Through these experiments, she theorized there are 4 different kinds of attachment styles which form patterns that follows us into our adult lives:

Secure – People who have a secure attachment style tend to have warm, positive, responsive relationships. The next three are all forms of insecure attachment.

Avoidant – People with an avoidant attachment style tend to be dismissive of others, emotionally cold, and prefer to avoid close relationships, or intimacy in their relationships.

Anxious – People with an anxious attachment style tend to feel unvalued in relationship and can be clingy and emotionally needy.

Disorganized – People with disorganized attachment style have inconsistent and contradictory responses to relationships. They may dissociate, or act-out violently and/or s*xually.

Importantly, attachment styles are not fixed. While early childhood experiences can have a significant impact on our later relationships, attachment styles can improve and evolve throughout your life. Fortunately, we are not the lifelong prisoners of our early attachment issues – healing and change are possible. In other words, it’s never too late to have a happy childhood.

However, if you ignore insecure attachment issues, they certainly can chase you into adulthood, and wreak havoc on your adult relationships. And if you were raised in the 1940s – 1970s, when there was not a lot of awareness of attachment parenting, at least in the U.S., you may wish to explore strategies for healing attachment. There are whole generations walking around with insecure attachment issues – you could say that these issues lie at the root of many of the social and political problems in the world.

I would be remiss not to mention that insecure attachment is largely a product of western, industrialized society. Traditional cultures tend not to need attachment theory – because they get how to raise children.

My husband and I often joke that I’m anxiously attached and he’s avoidantly attached. When I’m stressed I want shoulder rubs, attention, and kind words. When he’s stressed, he wants to be alone in his mancave watching Bourne Identity movies 🤣. BTW this is a very typical kind of pairing. And when you understand your attachment style, and work to develop secure attachment patterning, it can help you navigate bumps in your relationships.

Healing insecure attachment is something that can improve your life – but it’s often not easy or quick – it certainly warrants working with a therapist.

But yoga philosophy and practice can add greatly to the process.

According to yoga philosophy, the essence of every person we encounter and have a relationship with is a manifestation of the One cosmic reality. When we develop close relationships with others, they become our special people – and they can reflect that reality in a special way.

Additionally, when we develop a close relationship with our higher self, through meditation practices, we can start to rely on an internal sense of secure attachment.

This is one of the most famous verses of the Bhagavad Gita:

tvameva mātā ca pitā tvameva
tvameva bandhuśca sakhā tvameva
tvameva vidyā draviṇam tvameva
tvameva sarvam mama deva deva

it means something like: You are my mother, You are my father, You are my sister, You are my friend, You are my knowledge, You are my wealth, You are my everything, the essence of all love.

Yoga practice can help you both develop a deeper relationship internally with your higher self and to experience and value the essence of those we have external relationships with as a reflection of that infinite love. I believe this is its most powerful healing potential. It can provide the inner child with what they didn’t get – the solace and comfort that every human being craves because we are hardwired to attach.

Please let me know what you think about yoga and attachment in the comments. xo

Amidst the pain of grief, find strength in togetherness. Our retreats offer a safe space to grieve your child and open connections for lasting support. 💚

Join us for our Dads Support Group!

Our online groups are here to help you connect with other dads who have newborns up to toddlers. Our groups allow you to talk and listen to other dads as they process their experiences. Whether you are going through stress, feeling overwhelmed as you adjust to parenting, or trying to figure out how best to support your partner, our groups are here for you.You will learn about helpful tools/resources and realize you are not alone.

View the schedule and register at bit.ly/FindSupportGroup!

Me: Hey God.

God: Hello, My love.

Me: Grief keeps sneaking up on me.

God: That's because grief is like a ninja.

Me: When will it leave me alone?

God: Hopefully never.

Me: What?!

God: To grieve means that you have loved. Grieving is one of the truest human experiences that you will ever participate in. It often arrives without warning - like a late day summer storm - obscuring the sun and drenching you in a downpour. It's a gift, isn't it?

Me: Uh, no.

God: Grab a pen and write the following four things down:

1) Grief can come and go as it pleases. You gave it a key to your house at the exact moment you gave your heart to somebody else.

2) Bereavement is the debt you must pay for having loved. There is no getting over the loss of a beloved who is now resting in the arms of endless love. Grief has no expiration date. Despite the passing of time, the phantom pain of mourning is always one memory away from returning.

3) Of all the emotions you face, grief is the by-far stickiest. It gets all over everything. Like peanut butter, grief sticks to the roof of you soul.

4) grief Is like an
afternoon thunderstorm
in late summer.

It's the storm
that's always waiting
on the edges
of your most sunny
days to roll
across the horizon
and right over you.

The ghosts of your loved
ones who have died
are the clouds.

The webbed lightning
Illuminating the
dark canvas sky is
their reminder to you
that life is just a
a brilliant temporary flash
of time.

It’s the reminder
to live now.
to be bold.
to be electric.

The pounding rain isn't your tears.

It's the hope of eternal life that falls
on you.

It's that downpour of hope that will
help you grow deep roots in love and faith.

The gale winds
of these storms are
the messages from
those you have
lost to death that
are whispering
to you through the pines
the following psalm:

"It's okay, my love. Eternity is holding me. Death isn't an end. Death is a threshold. I'm still here. I never left. Love doesn’t die. Love doesn’t die. I remain. There is no afterlife. There is only life. I’m here with you. Love doesn’t die."

Me: Okay...great...now I'm crying.

God: I'm proud of your tears of grief.

Me: You are?

God: Yes- because it’s proof that you have loved.

Me: Well, I’ve got all sorts of proof pouring down my face right now...

God: What an adventure life is!

(From “Upon Departure”)
~ john roedel

There are many different scans and tests available during pregnancy to estimate the well-being of the pregnant person and baby. Here are brief descriptions of some of them:

*Importantly, none of the other scans listed below can replace the information provided by an EPV. Sometimes doctors will say that estimated fetal weight (EFW) or a Doppler Assessment is sufficient instead of an EPV. Not true. Large babies (not detected by EFW

We are preparing February deliveries and have an assortment of crocheted infant hats for American Heart Month & Valentine’s Day still available. If you work at a Virginia hospital or pregnancy center, or serve foster families with newborns, please reach out if you’d like a supply of hats. They’ve been made with a lot of love by our volunteers. Special thanks to From the Heart Stitchers for always supporting this special endeavor.❤️

STARTING THIS WEEK!!
*Space is still available!!!
✨Infant Massage✨
Starting Thursday, January 25th from 1-2 pm. This 4 week class will give you the opportunity to experience the power of nurturing touch. You can make connections with other mamas & babies, but most importantly grow your connection between yourself and your baby. This class is ideal for babies from 6 week to a year. Want to join us??? Register through the link here 👉 https://forms.office.com/r/bTCvFx5zfT

PLEASE SHARE‼️🫶🏼🤰🏼
We would love to team up with a photographer or anyone in the birth community! Feel free to reach out to me as well!

You have the ability to do great things 🌺

Grieving is Dreaming in Reverse 🌺

It’s exhausting 😞

Beauty for Ashes 2024 Come to the Beach March 1-3, 2024 You are wanted. Needed. Loved and adored. You are a daughter of the King, a beautiful reflection of His grace and truth. If those words are difficult for you to believe, we hope you will come to Beauty for Ashes 2024, March 1-3.   Held at the stunning Shell

It’s okay to ask for, and receive, help. New and early parenthood is a time to remember that you are in the season of receiving, as our own Birdie Gunyon Meyer says, and to accept the help that is offered to you. There is no shame in doing so 💙

We’re here for you, too. If you need help or support:
🔷 Call or text the Postpartum Support International HelpLine at 800-944-4773. You never need a diagnosis to ask for help.
🔷 Call or text the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-852-6262
🔷 In a crisis situation, call or text the National Su***de & Crisis Lifeline at 988.
🔷 Visit postpartum.net for additional programs and resources.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep is seeking volunteer photographers across the United States and Canada. Are you interested in being a volunteer with us? Join us at nowilaymedowntosleep.org/volunteer to learn more today!

Our babies are very much a part of our present.