The Proud Midwife

I’ve had so much fun this last couple of weeks visiting some incredibly beautiful places with fascinating history! I feel so fortunate to come along with Dad who treated me and my brother. It’s been special spending time together.

People-watching has been interesting too. I’ve noticed people who are disrespectful and rude but also met and had the pleasure of spending time with some incredibly beautiful souls.

What makes a beautiful soul?

People who are kind and giving. People who want to laugh, have fun and for you to do the same. People sharing gratitude for what they have and are blessed to see and experience. People who are interested in getting to know you and embracing differences and diversity.

I’ve learnt some life lessons too. You’re never too old to learn and grow.

Just the small matter of an op in a few days - I’m hoping I can take home some of the positivity that’s rubbed off on me! Then I’ll see you in France!

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Porto Fino was just stunning! I feel so blessed to be able to visit and take in these beautiful sites.

Feeling like I’m in a dream but sure I’ll come back down to earth when I arrive home! I’ll be home for a couple of days before my operation.

For now, I’ll keep living in the moment and make precious memories.

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Even during the darkest times, light can be found, if only we’re looking for it!

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Well this last couple of weeks has been a surreal dream.

Going from, ‘Must reach the bottom of my to-do list and get that breast screening re-booked in’ to ‘let’s document on SM the importance of going to your screening’ to ‘holey moley, I’ve got cancer!’

W the actual F?

I absolutely had my 💩 together the first few days - in all honestly, think I was either in denial or shock!

Fast forward 2 weeks and my heads a little more round it, my work family, family and friends have been AMAZING - sending gifts and messages of support. THANK YOU all! ❤️ I’m off HRT and the cart is wobbly but the wheels haven’t fallen off yet!

Today I had fabulous news - my MRI showed nothing else, no spread or cancer anywhere else, thank heavens! Let’s get this op done and radiotherapy in the bag so I can continue to be my fabulous/annoying self! 😁

See you for the next instalment of Claire’s Round the Houses Journey to a Peaceful Retirement!

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I’ve shared this lovely photo before so I know my beautiful colleague won’t mind me sharing again.

Well what a flaming lot has happened since this photo was taken. There we both were, in ignorant bliss, enjoying doing the job we both love.

What an inspiration this lady is. We met up not long after her recovery journey started. Still smiling, still positive, still adamant that she would be returning to work soon. She’s been through the wringer, for sure. And you know this super woman will be back at work with her laugh that reaches across a whole ward in no time. Sending all my love to Tina who will emerge, stronger than ever!

Thank you Tina for inspiring me to get my head down, ar$e up to plough through this bumpy road of uncertainty.

Can’t wait to get the full work team back together!

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I think I was in a dream. It felt like a dream. Crazy things happen in my dreams, I can tell you.

A few weeks ago, I was doing what I have for the last few years - fighting and learning to live with perimenopause symptoms. Starting to come to terms with not being who I used to be - mainly being ruled by a lack of hormones, a lack of a sharpness I once had and diminished motivation to do once simple things.

But there was hope.

With a specialist review, a concoction of HRT, an exercise regime and more control over my job, things were finally looking sweet. I felt a bit more like the old me. I quite like her. I was bossing being in my 50s and so grateful for every day I felt happiness. I even managed to get to the bottom of my to-do list. What was at the bottom? Book that mammogram I'd missed last year.

Since hearing "Yes, you have cancer", l've been very much in function mode. My practical brain has taken over - Right, what do we do now? What do I have to get through next? And when will it be over? In my mind, it was clear - do this and then don't have cancer anymore. I've got this.

But the rug of certainty has been ripped out. As the realisation of what the chuffin' heck of a curve ball just came my way, l'm starting to feel overwhelmed.

How will I get through the MRI when I'm so claustrophobic?
Why did the doctor not tell me the MRI is to check for spread? Why did I find out in a passing conversation?
How will I cope with no HRT and what will I do if my mood changes me as a person?
What if my irritability comes back and it affects my marriage?

This, right here, right now has NOTHING to do with being brave. This is about not having a choice. But also having hope.

Not having a choice means I will do the MRI even if it's hard. I will have my very first operation under GA because there's no other option. I will do the radiotherapy around work because I have to.
I will hope I can learn other ways to deal with perimenopause.
I will hope I can be truly happy and healthy again.
I will hope this sodding cancer thing does one and never comes back.
I will hope all this makes my relationships stronger not weaker.

I am more grateful than ever.

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These girls mean the world to me.

As I was travelling to Manchester, they took the opportunity to not only drive me there (thank you Charley), but also made the effort to come together so we could have breakfast at a fancy Cheshire joint.

Like most mothers, I’m proud of them all in very different ways. They have taught me more about life than I’ve ever taught them. I am so grateful to have three beautiful, headstrong and intelligent daughters.

Being in their presence lifts my soul like no drugs ever could.

I’ll not bore you with too much mush, just wanted to share how grateful I am today!

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Just a handful of snaps from yesterday.

I watched Lorraine, crying and reeling from my recent s**t news. I’ve seen the Coppafeel Campaign before but like many, not taken much notice as it would never affect me. Because of my ridiculous, impulsive nature, I decided to go wherever the trek finished to cheer them on and hopefully be inspired. It was in the Brecon Beacons, not easy to get to and a truly bonkers idea. If I’d have stayed at home, I’d have had my first consultation today and a cancellation opportunity for an MRI this morning! But where’s the fun in staying at home just in case the phone rings!

I’ve had so many beautiful messages from friends, family and my crackin’ work buddies. Thank you.

But the majority haven’t had cancer and the tone is of shock and that this is, somehow a catastrophic indicator of my demise. The whole thing made me feel so unlucky, tearful and bereaved. I was 4:100 to get called back then the 1:4 who get the dreaded C! How alone I felt. Why me?

Yesterday I was cheeky enough to ask Sara Davies for a selfie since I’m a SM w***e and thought it would make me look cool. She was just so nice - she’d answered my message and knew I was coming. She thought I was amazing to just get on a train to be there at the finish. Before long, Sara had told others and so many came up to me to give me a hug to welcome me to the family. I heard so many stories of survival, thriving and becoming better people. Women who had been changed by cancer - learning to give less of a 💩 about people and stuff that doesn’t matter. I felt like I belonged to something positive.

I will get through this treatment easy peasy (apart from the MRI, I expect). I’ll continue to work, I hope (I have to, I’m on the bank and need the cash!). But I’m truly TERRIFIED of the prospect of living without HRT and having oestrogen restricted. I wasn’t me before HRT and it’s taken a while to get some stability with hormones. I was so close to losing my life from perimenopause depression, I’m scared for what the future holds.

One thing I learned. One day at a time. I’ll just have to do my research and see what I can do to keep a level head.

Onwards and upwards!

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And just like that, life changed.

Yesterday was the day I got the news nobody wants to hear. I knew before she opened her mouth as I honed in on her name badge, Deborah, McMillan Nurse, that it wasn’t going to be plain sailing.

And, indeed, she went on to explain that I have Stage 2 Breast cancer.

But I remain positive. Positive it’s very small and the treatment is curative. One day at a time. I’ve got this. I believe I can get through this.

But can you believe what I’m terrified about? Apart from the MRI, being the most claustrophobic person walking? The prospect of life without HRT! Perimenopause almost killed me in 2020 and it’s taken 4 years to get back to a person I recognise.

What’s going to happen now? I’m going to take each day as it comes, try to get a bit healthier and hope for the best! I’ll keep you posted! Wish me luck - I’m sure the ride will be bumpy! ❤️

One.
More.
Day.

I guess it’s been about 3 weeks since the first, routine mammogram. They told me 4 weeks for the results but contacted me a week later to come back for more tests. I’m one of the 4:100 who get a call back, but “most of those don’t have cancer”, they say in the info leaflet.

Well that stopped me in my tracks.

Here’s me worrying about my growing pot belly and whether I should eat the cake. Do my roots need retouching and what will I wear on my scheduled cruise? Can I be bothered to work this week and how life would be if I could just win Andy Peter’s motorhome and a few grand. Thinking about what I don’t have and how I lack, rather than being truly grateful for what I DO have.

Now I have just one day ‘till results day and all I’m wishing for is to be told I don’t have cancer. I’ll go alone and I’ll be strong.

Whatever twist of fate life has in store, I’ll be strong and I’ll deal with it. There is no choice.

And if this bump in the road is to teach me to stop and be grateful for the little things I’ve taken for granted, Universe, I’m hearing you LOUD & CLEAR.

Over the years, I’ve looked at my braless b***s and worried they were too saggy after 4 kids. As I clutch them now, I realise how big a part of me they are, feeding 4 kids and being as individually me as I am. I love them both and never want to be parted.

As I stand here, waiting at this fork in the road, I can’t help wondering if I’ll get to PASS GO and win £500 or go to JAIL. The waiting is the worst - my life is in their hands.

The biopsy was hard for me - the being trapped in a vice, twice, when you’re the most claustrophobic person and to be asked several times, “are you okay?” You reply “yep” each time, wishing they wouldn’t ask because you fear shouting “no I’m F-ing not, get me out!” I then sat in the waiting area like a lump of jelly wanting to cry, sipping on a coffee like us British do.

I got through that, and I’ll get through tomorrow.

But one thing’s for sure - I’ll be more grateful. Whatever you’re doing today, remember the little wins, what you have and who you have.

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Today it’s my birthday! Whahooo! ( !)

Big fat 51! Where are the years going?

I kicked off the celebrations with a cheeky hotel and spa stay (thanks ).

Me, here in the cold plunge pool 🥶trying to remember the perceived health benefits and vowing to get in better shape! Life continues to be a learning curve, even at my age!

Here’s what I’ve learnt so far…

❤️Don’t let people tell you, you can’t do something. How do they know what you are capable of? With the right attitude and a sprinkle of determination, you might surprise yourself of what is possible. Good luck!

❤️ Don’t become too much of a people pleaser. It can become draining and you really can’t please all of the people all of the time. If you get things wrong, say sorry gracefully but making genuine mistakes doesn’t make you a bad person.

❤️Don’t expect everyone to like you. You don’t like everyone! Learning to accept not everyone is ‘our kind of person’ can be freeing and we get used to taking things less personally. Surround yourself with people who fill you up and distance yourself from people who consistently drain your energy.

❤️Cut people some slack, even when they seem in the wrong. Be kind. We never truly know what other people are going through. If we all knew what everyone had been through or is going through, I think we’d all be a bit kinder.

❤️Enjoy and be grateful for what you have now. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. They are not you and you are not them. Show gratitude for the small things, the small wins.

❤️If you’re struggling, ask for help. If today is a bad day, it will pass. Tomorrow will be better.

❤️If you’re young, enjoy your youth. If you’re healthy, enjoy it. You never know when things might change and as we age, maintaining good health is more challenging.

❤️Forgive your mistakes. Nobody’s perfect and what’s the use in dwelling on things that can’t be changed?

Summer is coming ☀️ - it’s my favourite time of year. Wishing you all a Summer filled with happiness, being outdoors, BBQing with friends and marvelling at beautiful sunsets. It’s not about what we have, it’s about WHO we have!

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Hi there! Hope everyone is having a good week so far!

Whatever is happening, this too shall pass. So if it’s amazing, drink in every last moment and be mindful in the moments. If it’s rubbish, hold tight and it will pass. Happier times are ahead. ☀️

For me, I’m struggling. There is nothing unusual about this - we all have our struggles, it’s part of life. I tend not to talk about things too much because of the fear of completely falling apart and also, I hate a pity party. I am a strong and independent woman and can’t be done with fuss. When times are tough, what do we do? We get out of bed, t**s up, arse out and we crack on the best we can.

Why am I sharing this?

Because if you’re reading this and are struggling, you’re not alone. Social media is not real life, remember that. Someone may have posted a smiley ‘couple goals’ selfie while sitting on the end of the bed in tears after a blazing row.

I don’t mind sharing the good, the bad and the ugly because I’m less concerned with striving for a perfection that doesn’t exist.

I’ve shared my struggles with the s**topause over the last few years and tried to laugh at myself too! I thought hormones and stuff were starting to settle down at last and thought I’d become this bundle of energy I once was. Still waiting.

I’m at a crossroads in my life. I don’t quite know where I’m going but I won’t be working till I’m almost 70 as a midwife - some aspects of the job I find too stressful in large doses and as I get older, things get harder.

Life’s thrown me a little curveball, causing me to pause and reflect. But while I pause, I feel trapped in a kind of sadness I want to run away from. It’s a lonely place even my husband doesn’t understand.

But I know this soon shall pass. So I’m waiting impatiently for the clouds to part and the much awaited sun to shine. 🌤️

Sending all my virtual love to anyone who’s not having the best days - I honestly believe, tomorrow will be better! In the meantime, get out in nature and see the gems, there to warm and fill our souls.

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It's Mental Health Awareness week

The beautiful cherry tree here was planted as a memorial to my daughter's friend who tragically lost her battle. I'm so proud of my daughter for not only arranging the tree, plaque and touching words, but supporting her friend's Mum and continuing to be a connection to her past.

It's amazing society now recognises that so many struggle, some more than others, but as we know, our mental health is invisible and sometimes we hide problems behind a wall of shame. A broken bone can heal in 6 weeks but mental scars can last a lifetime.

I'm a firm believer in striving for consistent kindness rather than unachievable perfection.

I always feel like l've upset someone. I have and I probably will again. My step mother hated me with a passion (because I was such an idiot teenager) so l grew up feeling a continual disappointment and bad person.

We all carry baggage nobody knows about. We live with it, it shapes us. But we can also heal.
By understanding we all have our own mental health journey, we can become more understanding and kinder to each other.

Whatever you're dealing with, however your day's going, I wish you a happy and joyful future, full of carefree adventures. If today is dark, know tomorrow will be brighter.

If you're struggling, don't do it alone. Contact one of the many help services.

The Samaritans
Mind
CALM
The Mix (under 25)

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📸 Watch this video on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/share/yw5dYi2nsreijaX5/?mibextid=WC7FNe

🌟 NEW EPISODE 🌟
| This episode is sponsored by Stingrays 315 Swim School 🤩 |

What a beaut of an episode- If you’re a Mum in the thick of parenting right now, often in survival mode then this is one for you 🫵🏻🫶🏼

In this episode I am joined by Claire, Mum of 4, who some of you may know as The Proud Midwife

Claire tells us how she learnt later on in life that judgement is human nature and it's what we do with that judgement that matters. She felt judged being a parent at 17 and was scared to ask for help because of society's view, but knows now that all parents struggle.

Claire says life after a divorce shaped how she parented and talks a little about how hard it was being a single parent. She realised after leaving a dysfunctional relationship and entering a new loving and healthy one that your relationship does impact the children. One of the biggest challenges she found was the loneliness as a single parent of 2 children.

Claire talks about how she was just in survival mode as a young parent and regrets not having more fun with her children. Now as a grandparent she has more patience and gets to have fun with her grandson because she's not in survival mode and can be more laidback. She tells us when you see your children grown up, you realise that you've actually done a pretty good job.

Claire notes how important it is that we remember we're not just someone's Mum, we're still us too- We're still allowed to be us and we deserve to take time out to do things that light us up.

Claire's biggest values are living and learning, helping others and knowing that our best is good enough.

You can listen by searching The Non Perfect Parents Club on all podcast apps or comment below for the direct link.

Happy Easter!

Having been away for the last couple of weeks, I've had plenty of time to ruminate over my own thoughts.

Gary's been working through the week, helping a neighbour lay a new patio and I've been 'pottering!

That means cleaning a bit because I can't gather enough motivation to do any DIY. All the decorating in our French home has been ruined because of a leaky roof that was supposed to be fixed a couple of years ago.

My wandering mind has thought:

How can someone steal your hard earned cash and 'that's just life?'
What is my life plan anyway? Where on earth am I going?
Why can't I remember anything anymore?
Why am I so utterly bonkers that I have to stick on patches and rub in gel just to strive for 'stable enough to function?'
Why haven't I done any painting like I said I would?
Why haven't I been productive?
Why do I do social media? - it gets sticky sometimes and the more people you reach, the more you'll find who don't like you.
What if l've not been a good enough friend?

I think this is what we call 'chatter' or internal 'noise.' It can become quite distracting and demoralising at times.

I've talked before about the things I do to try to keep a positive mindset. Next week, I'll be back in the gym, trying to drink more water and making some healthy meals. l've got a bedroom to decorate and wall mural to complete. I'll be catching up with family and listening to some inspirational audio books.

I think it's important to reset and just let go sometimes.
If I wasn't perfect in every practical way, that's ok and normal. Who is? I think it's trying and having good intentions that matters. Life isn't always a bed of roses, it's a learning curve. Life 'happens' so we can grow.
i sule us and st el our joy. emeries, we star to
to breathe and let go.
All we can do is work on our own self worth and try to help others too.

Keep going, you're doing great!
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Did you mange to get out in the sunshine lately? Doesn’t it make you feel good? Doesn’t it make people feel better? Of course it does. It makes us feel kind of optimistic, doesn’t it?

And then there’s our physiological need for the sunshine. We need vitamin D. It benefits our bodies to get out in the sunshine. This time of year is perfect when we are less concerned about burning.

Did you look at the blue sky and feel grateful? Grateful for a day that is filled with possibilities of what we could do and where we could go. I hope so, because feeling grateful for what we have, right now is part of mindfulness.

It’s very easy for us to complain about all the grey, all the rain and the cold. Complaining rolls off the tongue so easily.

But why is it more of a challenge to get the daily act of gratitude into a robust habit? I don’t know, but what I do know is that being grateful for all we have that is good helps us focus our energy away from everything we feel is wrong or bad. We can focus on the fact that we have no money to go away on holiday or we can focus on the fact that we have a house with a garden and we can afford a paddling pool from Argos to make our own fun and precious memories.

What next door has doesn’t matter.

If we spend a few moments each day recognising and being grateful for the little things we have, it reminds us how much we really have. It might be our health, our partner or the roof over our head. Some people don’t have the things we may take for granted.

Enjoy the little things and remember the things that really matter. ❤️❤️❤️

Hi lovely people!

I’m here! I’m still here!

I got a message the other day asking if I was okay as I hadn’t been on social media much. It couldn’t actually be further from the truth! I’m never off it.

I originally started on FB, like lots of people- if you’ve followed for a while, you’ll know I started doing LIVEs on FB to raise money via a Just Giving page to raise money for our Maternity unit. It was amazing to see such generosity, so thank you if you donated. I’ve managed to buy a few things for our unit which has been amazing.

Sadly the truth is, lots of things get stolen, including sonicaids, thermometers, aromatherapy diffusers and twinkly light devices. To get money reimbursed from my Just Giving page is now full of red tape that is exhausting and takes all the joy out of fundraising. So I’ve decided to hand the existing funds left over to someone else to manage.

That FB page doing LIVEs seems a long time ago and evolved into some cooking LIVEs that came out of a commitment to do a weeks worth on Annual leave. Then the walks to and from work - they seemed very popular too with my mundane ramblings.

I’ve since found Tiktok. And before many of you dismiss it as just something for the kids to share silly dancing videos, it’s much more than that. It’s evolved and a fabulous platform to share creativity and find engaging and informative content. My husband wouldn’t entertain Tiktok because he feels it’s not for him. In fact, much of the very content he consumes on Instagram is directly shared from TikTok where it was made.

I now favour TikTok as it has allowed me to grow from 0-75K followers in a couple of years, so I reach more fabulous people. I feel stuck and stagnant on FB and IG where life seems to need to be perfect and very ‘edited’. On TikTok, people enjoy ‘rough round the edges’ raw content and it feels more ‘me’, sparking my creativity.

Even at my ripe old age, I’m still learning. I’m still growing. But I’m learning more to take care of myself and I’m still discovering how I can be of service while not draining the emotional tanks.

If you want to join me for LIVEs & much more, download TT and I’ll see you there! ❤️❤️❤️

Happy Valentine’s Day! In fact, Happy Everyday! ❤️

I’ve worked a long day shift on Delivery suite like I did last year - and how beautiful to see what real love does look like as new little people come into the world to meet their families.

What will I be doing tonight? Not much. Shower, hot chocolate and bed, most probably.

Did I get a card? No. Did I get a dozen red roses? No. Am I bothered? No. In fact, quite relieved. Relieved we both came to the understanding that neither of us can be arsed with the commercial pressure to panic buy (that’d be us, not you!) and get an over-priced card that will go in the bin.

That’s not to say it’s not lovely to see other couples enjoying the day and celebrating their love, it’s just not for me or Gary. I am actively repelled from anything that feels like a rule or thing I must do because it’s the ‘done’ thing. I prefer to be more impulsive when I go out for a ‘date’ or buy Gary a Teddy holding a heart. 🧸❤️

For some people, having a special day to mark their love is important and worth the effort, but I guess I’m less keen in much the same way as being a little underwhelmed by Christmas.

If you have had a beautifully romantic Valentine’s Day or are looking forward to an exciting evening, I hope you get all the love you deserve. I hope you can reflect on everything that is special about your relationship. But if you don’t have anyone or are not doing anything ‘special’, remember, it’s just one day and you can show others how much you love them on every other day of the year too.

Remember, all the happy couples and showers of affection on social media are not without their blazing rows and tantrums behind the scenes. Ask Gary.

And another thing, roses will be cut price in a week, even red ones. I’ll def be treating myself!

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Bravo, my Gym!

As a nod to Valentine’s week, some beautiful person at the gym has written gorgeous, positive affirmations on all the mirrors! It’s a simple thing but I’m sure they have made so many people feel good about themselves.

Why don’t more of us do things like this more often to give ourselves and others a boost?

I’ve spent most of the morning beating myself up for eating and drinking too much over the weekend, instead of congratulating myself on 64 lengths when I almost talked myself out of it!

As the day went on and I thought about what self care really is, I figured it’s ok to get frustrated and disappointed, if only we remember to also look how far we’ve come and what obstacles we’ve beaten. Self care is about recognising what we really need and figuring a way to nurture our body and soul. If we get it a bit wrong, we can try again. Make new plans to help us grow and achieve our goals.

I’ve realised how often I speak out loud about how stupid I am. I’m going to try to stop doing it and speak to myself more kindly - like I’m talking to my 7 year old self. She needs love, security, kindness and encouragement.

What do you need to nurture that inner child? What does he or she need?

Self care = Self love ❤️❤️❤️

Go on then! Let’s do a photo like young ‘uns do - selfie in the toilets mirror!

This weekend, we were invited to my sister-in-law’s 50th birthday celebrations. I’ve got to say it was epic! Everyone had a brilliant time - so many people dancing and smiling in the same room! The energy was happy and positive and we bounced, danced and swigged complimentary bubbly into the next morning!

Here, I’ve got my ‘support’ tights on - they’re desperately trying to pull in my ever increasing wobbly belly and of course I feel self-conscious. I’m the biggest I’ve ever been and it’s hammered into us women that we should be a certain way and if we’re not, we’re not good enough.

But not only do us women, especially at my age seem to have a constant battle with the scales, we are so very conditioned to be repelled by our aging bodies. We strive, sometimes at cost to look and feel younger because we know society favours the young. Younger looking, younger thinking, younger being.

You’ve only got to look into the experiences of ‘older’ female TV presenters to see that society finds the ‘young’ much more aesthetically pleasing and palatable. That’s a shame.

I’ve been to a 50th party that was a real nod to everything that is special and good about aging. A few weeks ago, I said goodbye to a friend, aged 50 whose life was over on this earth.

I think it’s so important to keep putting out into the world how special it is to live into our senior years. People over 50 have an incredible amount of knowledge and experience to offer that we should respect and feel grateful for. Getting older is a blessing denied to so many.

Let’s not try to focus quite so much on our wobbly bits, our lines, wrinkles, jowels and cellulite. Let’s instead focus on the good we can put out, the teaching we can offer and the memories we can cherish.

Enjoy your youth, embrace your middle years and appreciate every day of your more mature years. You are blessed that the universe still needs you. For those that don’t appreciate you, they don’t matter.

❤️❤️❤️

So I’m going about my business this morning quite happily, busy as usual. I called Gary to ask if he wanted anything from Lidl. He said, “No” but did remind me it was our Anniversary. I got that sinking feeling - what had I forgotten. As it turned out, it was not, like my wedding anniversary. Phew! It was the anniversary of the day we met. In an actual local pub! That doesn’t count, right?

But it does to Gary. It means something. It does to me too and it’s good to have a reminder of when my life totally changed. I was young, I was trim as, and brash as owt, picking him up for the sh*ts and giggles!

I was soon head over heels, acting like part of a proper family, eating meals at the table (instead of living off Weetabix and muller corners) and doing ‘normal’ stuff. We had stability for the first time in months. We were still silly, I was still impulsive and we were living on cloud 9.

That first meeting on a Wednesday night that ended in us slow dancing in a night club was 23 years ago. What a flipping rollercoaster marriage and four kids has been. I can’t begin to tell you all the adventures, highs, lows and meltdowns.

Things are ‘tame’ by comparison. Predictable for sure. But that’s good for us now while we plan and save for our next adventures. Gary’s sitting there, watching football on his phone. I’m here, on the ‘girls’ couch (me and Maddie). And that’s okay. We’ve been through a lot, these sh*topause years, so it’s lovely to see we’re still man and wife!

Despite everything, I think we were meant to be together!

❤️