Whole Purpose Coaching

This one hits hard. Brene Brown says this another way as "...belonging to yourself first."

I invite you to discover who you are, learn to belong to yourself and negotiate with the world to get what you want while contributing to a greater good. Whole belonging. Reach out to me @ wholepurposecoaching.com if you want to negotiate a new and more authentic way of life for yourself.

I can do it.
I did this.
I can do more.

What transitions, losses, or reframing have you gone through recently? Where are you now in your journey?

Does the chart hold true for you? While this is likely recognizable process for many, in my experience it doesn't go exactly like this chart suggests. It can zig zag quite a bit, go forward and back. I even see some elements that are missing.

I would add relief and peace. I've seen them both at the beginning and the end.

Have you ever met someone who just seemed like they had their life together? I recently my niece posted question and answer (to someone presumedly like that) and it made me think.

It made me think about surfers sitting out on the ocean waiting for their next wave. A few years ago I took up surfing and I had to change my perception on this. It wasn't what I thought it was. It looked SO peaceful watching them wait. All of them sitting there out in the sparkling ocean. They looked relaxed and serene, maybe even bored. When I got out there myself and tried to actually sit on a board, I immediately noticed that it took most of my core muscles to stay upright. I also had to constantly focus on which way I was tipping and correct. It looked like sitting, but it was work. It was tiring. It wasn't serene. It wasn't peaceful. It took my entire focus, but I could do it. And the thought occurred to me that someone watching me from the shore would think. "Aw, how cool and relaxing to be out there floating in the water" I could look like the others.

The other thing that happened was the nagging thought, "Maybe I'm doing it wrong. Maybe it is actually easy and serene and i'm just doing it wrong."

As I worked at staying upright, there were times where it seemed that for a brief moment it would seem easy. It all of a sudden it didn't require work. And I was just upright with serenity and peace. Finally, I had it! Or so it seemed.

I inevitably realized that the ease I felt was just the ease of slowly tipping and almost aways ended up in the water after I had unknowingly leaned far enough and my balance was unrecoverable. Embarrassment and frustration came as I climbed back on my board to try again.

It took some time to shed the idea that surfers wait for waves with ease, and relaxing serenity. I wanted it to be true. I wanted that for myself.

The parallel to life with this is interesting. It turns out that surfing isn't the only thing that follows this pattern. Its easy to get out of balance. It takes attention. It takes intent. And "staying balanced" is a myth. Its the rare moments when we are at the top of a tip so to speak. And it happens that we fall out of balance sometimes and "go in the water." We have to climb back on our board again.

That's ok.

The reality is that this process isn't easy and we can stumble when we expect it to be. The perception that what we are struggling with seems easy and fun for everyone else makes it even more daunting. As it turns out it just isn't so. There are moments of bliss, and its what makes it worth while.

Balance is a process not a state.

Hope this helps someone.