We are the disciples of our lord and savior, Bananaan; who liberated us from the false gods in the year 1249 AD. Worship him or face Bananageddon.
During the time of Moses, long before the Great Liberation of 1249, Moses had preached the Ten Commandments of the false gods. However, there was one Hebrew among Moses's followers who had received the words of Bananaan. Moses had banished him; sending him out in the desert without food or water. The will of Bananaan was strong, and the worshiper received enough bananas and potatoes from Balhalla
to survive his journey through the desert until he found civilization. This worshiper had spread the word of Bananaan; preaching the Ten Bananamandments based off Bananaan's instructions. These Bananamandments were lost until today. Here they are:
I Thou shalt not worship the false gods
II Thou shalt not make any image of Bananaan
III Thou shalt take the name of the false gods in vain
IV Honor thy banana and thy potato
V Thou shalt not be like the apple worshipers who kill
VI Bananaan is not cool about "playing" with bananas in bed
VII Thou shalt not make sacrilege of the banana
VIII Harming a banana is harming all of banana kind; thou shalt not harm a banana
IX Thou shalt not deface a banana
X Thou shalt spread the word of Bananaan, and invite fellows to the church
These are the words of Bananaan. Do not take them lightly and carry them in your heart.
