Heal with Carrie Jean

Embarking on the transformative path of reconnecting with oneself is a profound journey of healing and self-discovery. Trauma, like a tempest, can sever the ties that bind us to our inner essence. In my own odyssey through betrayal and childhood trauma, I intimately understand the profound impact it has on our sense of self. Somatic work became the beacon guiding me back to the shores of self-connection.

In the intricate dance with our nervous system, trauma often leaves us feeling adrift—struggling with anxiety, fractured trust, and the haunting echoes of nightmares. Traditional talk therapy provided a space to vent about the pain, yet it wasn’t until I delved into somatic practices that true healing unfolded.

As a trauma survivor turned practitioner, I’ve witnessed the power of a bottom-up approach. It’s a compassionate journey, unraveling protective layers, healing relationships with both self and others, and breaking free from chronic survival states.

Turning pain into purpose, I now share these invaluable tools with people worldwide on their own healing odyssey. Let’s embrace the intricate tapestry of our being, mend the fragments, and rediscover the resilience within

I thought the thoughts shared in stories yesterday needed a place in the feed, so here ya go.

Can you relate?

When incongruent situations turn you against yourself…

Can you relate?

Everything comes back to the connection you have with your body and how well you know your felt sense.

It is only through that connection that you find harmony in presence, trust in Self, clarity of needs, courage to speak up, and confidence to move forward in this thing we call life.

Trauma disconnects us from our felt sense though. It can feel like a scary place to be when with it comes pain and uncertainty. Healing the relationship you have with your felt sense and all the channels that lead to it is the way of true trauma healing.

Looking for support with that? DM me for 1:1 coaching, or get in the waitlist for group coaching.

Are you still wearing your armor?

If this was helpful, like, follow, share.

Does it feel like you are always living in the past?

And everyone keeps telling you to stop?

In the brain, the hippocampus plays a role in remembering the passage of time. Not only does it have to do with memories, but also the distinguishing of past, present, and future.

However, after trauma, the hippocampus has been shown to shrink in size. This impacts a survivor’s ability to distinguish what is current verses what is in the past.

So when triggered, the body will have a reaction as though the trauma was literally happening in the present tense... the brain is unable to distinguish the difference.

This is not your fault.

It is not a choice to “live in the past”. Your brain is literally struggling to tell the difference.

Helping the body ground itself in present time and recognize what is now verses what is then is so impactful in trauma recovery.

Have you struggled with this? Let me know in the comments.

If this was helpful, like and share.

You don’t trust anyone anymore.

Betrayal does that.

It destroys your trust in the betrayer, yourself, and others as your worldview is now shattered.

It feels difficult to make friends or be vulnerable with others.

You’re scared of being hurt again.

Your guards are up and you’re on high alert for any red flags.

Those patterns of connection we are designed to have, are replaced with patterns of protection in an attempt to survive the hurt and pain.

Turning to your body with observance and a compassionate curiosity will open the doorway to healing. Understanding your nervous system and how YOUR body speaks to you brings awareness of what YOU need to move through the experience and be open and safe again.

I know it because it’s what I did. If you’re wanting it too, follow for support or reach out for 1:1 coaching.

Sincerely,
Carrie Jean

My clients hear me say it all the time - healing is to honor.

Healing involves reconnecting to our bodies, that we have often disconnected from in the face of trauma.

It’s not about forcing a rebuild, but about gently learning its unique language: the language of sensations, emotions, and subtle physiological responses.

Through mindfulness, introspection, and embodied practices, we become fluent in this internal dialect.

This understanding empowers us. Now, we can honor what our body needs.

Honoring might be setting boundaries, seeking support, indulging in self-care, or simply allowing ourselves to feel without judgment.

It’s about self-compassion and respect, recognizing that healing is a personal journey with its own pace and challenges.

Can you relate?

The brutal truth of betrayal…

You are left scrambling for safety - hanging onto a branch that’s breaking, while the ground is crumbling beneath you.

You search desperately, like a detective, for truth, but around each corner is another lie wearing a mask.

Betrayal is traumatic.

It leaves you rethinking your beliefs, relationships, and even yourself.

I know these feelings well as I battled them for a decade.

Learning to come back to your body and the way it shows up for you, the messages it sends you, helps you create safety and discern truth.

If you can relate, like, comment and share. Be sure to follow for more trauma healing support.

There are multiple types of relationships that can develop betrayal trauma. Can you relate to any of these?

Be sure to like, share, and follow for more healing support

While the first thing that is often thought of with betrayal in romantic relationships is infidelity, there are numerous forms of betrayal.

Here are just some:
🔅lying
🔅absenteeism / neglect
🔅s3xual withdrawal
🔅hidden p**n use
🔅conditional commitment
🔅emotional affair
🔅disrespect
🔅broken promises
🔅forming coalition against the partner

After experiencing it myself, I know the road to healing after betrayal is painful and hard. That’s why I am passionate about helping you on your journey.

Have you experienced any of these betrayals? What would you add to this list?

Betrayal is traumatic.

It demolishes the ground beneath you and leaves you grappling for anything to grab hold of to survive.

A bottom-up approach to healing has the understanding that you aren’t broken and in need of fixing, but rather, wounded and in need of healing.

It addresses the brain, mind, and body with compassionate curiosity and understanding as you move through the experience towards safety and healing.

Having training in trauma work with a somatic approach, rather than just a life coach, allows me to best guide you through this healing process as you reconnect with your body. DM to find out more.

There were numerous times I felt like I wasn’t “me”. I felt like I was reactive and impulsive and couldn’t think clearly through what I needed or what was going on.

Betrayal trauma is a rupture to your system’s sense of safety (massively) and in response, your brain “flips the lid” to prioritize the functions of the subcortical regions - reptilian and mammalian. Instinctive survival responses kick in.

Healing must bring with it safety to the safety so that access is then given to the high order functioning part of the brain, the neocortex.

Looking for support? DM me or comment below “flip the lid”

Like a broken faucet, drip disclosures just trickle in only bits of truth at a time.

I remember standing in the driveway when my husband told me there had been lies even in disclosures, and sitting on the ground because everything started spinning.

It was a never ending attack it seemed.

It keeps your nervous system in a constant survival state, waiting for the next ambush.

Have you experienced drip disclosures?

betrayal blindness—a subconscious shield that shields us from the painful truth. It's not about naivety or stupidity; it's an intricate dance of self-preservation. Ever wondered why you might not see what's really happening, hesitate to connect the dots, or shy away from facing the harsh reality? It's because acknowledging the betrayal might jeopardize the bond with someone incredibly important to you.

Take a moment to recognize the brilliance of your brain and body—miraculously crafting survival mechanisms to navigate the storm. You're not missing the signs; you're navigating a complex maze of emotions and self-protection.

In the realm of 'betrayal blindness,' there's no room for self-blame. Your actions make complete sense in the grand orchestration of survival. So, let's embrace this journey, understanding the intricacies of our resilience and acknowledging the strength woven into the fabric of our being.

We are bottom up beings.

The body takes in information, using neuroception, and sends the brain tries to make sense of that information for the sake of survival, so it writes a story to explain what it is you’re feeling.

Experiences from your past, movies you’ve seen, stories you’ve heard, and experiences you’ve witnessed others having all contribute to the explanation your brain comes up with.

So even if the narrative or meaning your brain has come up isn’t an accurate reflection of what is happening, the data collected isn’t necessarily wrong.

Get curious with your body. Take it a layer deeper, so rather than being in your head, be in your body. There is a story that’s being told there that doesn’t merit gaslighting.

If this was helpful, like and share. I’d love to know what resonated, leave it in the comments below.

As a trauma-trained somatic practitioner and a fellow survivor, I understand the challenges of navigating meditation when you've experienced trauma. While traditional mindfulness practices often encourage focusing on internal sensations and pushing through discomfort, this approach can be overwhelming and re-traumatizing for trauma survivors.

Instead, a trauma-informed approach to meditation promotes titration, which means gradually increasing your exposure to sensations and emotions to build your nervous system's capacity to regulate. It also utilizes external anchors, like grounding techniques, to help you stay present without being overwhelmed.

Remember, meditation is not about forcing yourself to tolerate uncomfortable sensations. It's about creating a safe and supportive space for your nervous system to calm down and process emotions in a healthy way.

If you're a trauma survivor considering meditation, start slowly and gradually increase your practice as you feel ready. Be sure to have coping mechanisms in place to manage any intense emotions that arise. And don't hesitate to seek support.

By weaving these mindful practices into your daily life, you can cultivate a deeper connection to your body, release emotional baggage, and embark on a journey of ongoing healing and growth. Remember, your body is your wisest guide. Tune in, listen closely, and allow its wisdom to lead you towards a more vibrant and fulfilling life.

Learn more in our Body First Healing Program

Do you ever feel like a puppet, saying "yes" even when your strings scream "no"? Putting others' needs before your own, constantly bending to please, can leave you feeling drained, resentful, and disconnected from your true self. This isn't genuine kindness – it's a survival tactic rooted in the fear of rejection, loneliness, and disconnection.

Fawning represents a complex blend within the nervous system, drawing from both the sympathetic and dorsal pathways, as an instinctual response aimed at ensuring safety in relationships.

The inclination toward people-pleasing originates from a deeply ingrained belief that one must sacrifice their own needs to prioritize others' well-being. However, this behavior isn't rooted in genuine compassion but rather emerges from a fear of experiencing rejection, isolation, or disconnection.

But there's good news! You don't have to be stuck in this cycle. By healing your nervous system and reclaiming your inner strength, you can break free from the invisible chains of people-pleasing and build authentic, fulfilling relationships.

Imagine:
* Saying "no" without guilt or explanation.
* Setting boundaries and letting others respect them.
* Prioritizing your needs without apology.
* Feeling confident and empowered in your own skin.

The Body First Healing Program can help you make this vision a reality. This supportive program offers a guided journey to:
* Uncover the root cause of your people-pleasing: Understand the hidden fears driving your behavior.
* Heal your nervous system: Learn to regulate your emotions and build inner resilience.
* Reconnect with your true self: Discover your needs, values, and authentic voice.
* Set healthy boundaries: Learn to say "no" with confidence and grace.
* Build stronger relationships: Foster connections based on mutual respect and self-worth.

Stop feeling like a doormat and start living your life on your own terms. Take the first step toward authentic self-expression and inner peace. Join the Body First Healing Program today.

Trauma is not the event, but rather, what happens inside of us as a result of the event.

Completing the stress cycle, and metabolizing the survival energy supports the return to homeostasis.

However, when that stress cycle is thwarted and the energy is not metabolized, it can wreck habit on your body and mind.

This is where we see anxiety, depression, chronic illness, OCD, people pleasing, addiction, etc

Learn how to connect with and support your system in the Body First Healing Program. Just ask me how.

What is your word for 2024, or what are you wanting to embrace this year?

Looking to make some changes in 2024 but struggling to make them stick?

Here are three tips as you strive for change this year:

✨Embrace the aspects or behaviors you wish to transform, approaching them with a sense of curiosity regarding their role in your journey so far. Seek a profound understanding and extend validation for the reasons they manifested in the first place. Changing your relationship with these behaviors (parts) will have a far greater impact than just trying to change them.

✨Take a measured approach to change; titrate it. Instead of implementing ten changes all at once, opt for a gradual shift. This method ensures your system remains within its comfort zone, allowing it to adapt smoothly to the new way of being. By avoiding abrupt shifts, you prevent your protective parts from going into overdrive, promoting longer-lasting changes.

✨Now, a crucial step: Rebuild trust within Self. This is paramount. Strengthen the relationship with the aspects you aim to change. As this bond develops, these protective parts will trust you to navigate the challenges that may accompany your resolutions. It's the key to enduring transformation.

Looking for help? Check out our Body First Healing Program by commenting “BODY FIRST HEALING”.

Have you ever found yourself frustrated by certain patterns or reactions within yourself? Maybe it's the struggle with setting boundaries, catastrophizing situations, shutting down, or being overly self-critical.

I invite you to take a moment to acknowledge these aspects and approach them with curiosity. It's about practicing self-compassion, even if it means learning how to do so for the first time.

Embracing ourselves, flaws and all, is a crucial step on the journey of healing.

In my work with clients, I often emphasize that healing involves fostering a different relationship with ourselves. It's about reconnecting with every facet of who we are and mending the fractures caused by past traumas.

It's possible to be compassionate toward these parts of ourselves while guiding them to take a back seat in our lives. However, trying to force change through self-hate isn't a path that serves our well-being.

If these thoughts resonate with you, I encourage you to like and share this post. Your support can create a ripple effect of understanding and growth.

I'm eager to hear your reflections on this. Share your thoughts in the comments; your insights might spark a conversation that resonates deeply with others.

My clients hear me say this all the time…

We want to speak FOR the protective part, not FROM the protective part.

When dealing with the internal family system, most of us operate with a protective part leading the charge. We see this with perfectionism, doubt, self critic, people pleasing, controlling, addiction anger, etc.

None of our protective parts are bad. In fact, they stepped to the plate at some point in time because it seemed to your system to be the best option. They just haven’t stepped off the plate since.

Healing is bringing harmony to the system by supporting the relationship between Self and protective parts so that they will trust to take the leadership role again. As a leader, Self is able to listen, validate, and speak for (express) the concerns of the protective part with calm, clarity, and connectedness.

This is the work I do with clients in the Body First Healing Program. DM me to find out more.

Trust in Self… one of the fundamental pieces of healing (and one I work with most clients on).

Life is hard. It will challenge you and throw wrenches into your plans, but how resourced you are, how great your capacity, and how confident you are in your ability to work through (and reach out to others) makes ALL the difference.

I had a conversation the other night that could very well have sent me into a massive spiral, and it definitely would have years ago, but I didn’t. I was able to turn to my parts that were scared and hear them, validate them, thank them, and ultimately soothe them. The trust in Self that I have worked so much at these past several years gave these parts assurance that I can handle this. My wings are stronger than ever before.

It doesn’t mean I avoid the branch, or cling to the branch. Instead, I am able to find ease and settling on the branch, and if it crumbles, I know what I need to get or stay safe.

Want to know more of how to do this for yourself? Check out my Restoring Trust course where you can build trust with yourself and others with a somatic approach.

People can change.
Healing is possible.

One of the greatest lessons I have learned as a parent is when my kids are activated, speak less and soothe more

It’s common to try and rationalize with kids to assure them “it will be okay” or “they’ve got this”, but that won’t really get them anywhere, and here’s why...

Rational thinking is a function of the neocortex of the brain, which doesn’t fully develop until the mid 20's. Kids’ dominate operating systems are the subcortical regions of the brain - also referred to as the reptilian and emotional brains.

The language of these regions is sensation and emotions. They aren’t soothed by words or rationale, but rather, by the presence of physical and emotional safety. For example...

Rather than offering mere words of assurance, offer a hug and just hold them in their hurt. Instead of trying to tell them to “just calm down”, support the release of the energy with animal growls or running in place.

Show them that it’s ok to feel these big emotions because you have capacity to help them be with and process them.

If you don’t feel like you have capacity to offer them the emotional stability, find support for your system in our Body First Healing Program.

Living in a home where I was not seen or chosen, I perpetually sought that in my adult relationships. This led me to self abandon and morph into whatever the other person wanted me to be so that they would choose me. This just left me completely lost from myself and living in a perpetual state of anxiety.

Can you relate?

Our relationship with our caregivers shapes our internal working model - the way we view ourselves, others, and the world. It is the framework by which we understand the very essence of existence and how to interact in this world.

When we feel seen and understood, we have capacity to see and understand ourselves, allowing for securely attached relationships with Self and others.

This is a large part of the work I help clients do in our Body First Healing Program.