Maria Gamb

Road Trip!
The car was packed, reservations made, away we went to the James River in the Shockoe area of Virginia to escape the heatwave.

Being curious people, we love to explore.

It was lovely!
The river was cool. The seafood is divine.
The view was amazing, as were the people.
It was a perfect blend of history and art in this very progressive city.

Over dinner, I asked my husband if we would be there if we weren’t “curious”.
“Do you mean nosey?” he teased.
“No, genuinely curious about different parts of history, people, and places”
He smiled, “It means we love people, just as long as we’re not trying to traverse rush hour in NYC, then all bets are off!” We both erupted with laughter.

It made me realize there are many things that get in the way of being loving and compassionate to those around us.

Why?

Because the distraction feels greater than the easier things, like sharing kind words with team members. Or encouraging them through a challenge. Even setting priorities so projects can be “easier” because everyone understands the measures to meet expectations.

All these things breed connection.
Connection creates a culture.
People are an important part of the culture.

Be curious.
Create your own, kind culture.

PS: I’m using this as part of the training I’ll be delivering next week. Feel free to share your insights on this below. I love hearing about your experiences!

What are your values?
How do you demonstrate them in the workplace?
How do you share them with your team?

Values (noun) + Aligned Actions (adjective) = Rule of Engagement for everyone

When you know
They know
When they know, they act accordingly.

Clarity is key.

It was another day of feeling disappointed ⁠
by her own performance.⁠
Those were her words, not mine, nor anyone else.⁠
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“I just feel like a failure, all the time,” Susan said. “No matter what I do it’s not enough. Then when a mistake happens, I am mortified. I shrink”⁠
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How many of you relate to my client Susan?⁠
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The job of a Coach is to shift perspectives, not give advice. Nor tell anyone what to do. To shift Susan’s perception, we discuss the three important factors to consider when mistakes, missteps, or mishaps occur. And they will occur. We are all human.⁠
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What is the lesson in this experience? ⁠
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At first, Susan thought that this meant “punishment”. However, a lesson is a means to see what needs to shift or change. Or how and where you may be growing and need refinement.⁠
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What needs to be forgiven?⁠
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As I said we’re all human. You, me, and those around us. Can you find a way to forgive someone in this situation – including yourself? Before you say no. Realize that the more unforgiveness and heavy judgment you embody, the more likely you and they will continue to be miserable and have a less-than-performance.⁠
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What is the next right action?⁠
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Rather than spending time beating yourself up – decide on your next steps and get moving. It’s ok to pause if you need it. But don’t stay there too long. Usually, you will need to take the time to answer my first two questions before the next action is taken. ⁠
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Sarah realized that carrying so much self-inflicted pain on herself and her mistakes was making her a misery at work. The process is simple, but the effects, when done on a regular basis, will help you move through challenges faster each time.⁠
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Then you will teach those you manage to do the same thing, so they can move through challenges faster as well.⁠
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I reminded Sarah, who leads a multi-national team, “never forget how much you impact those around you.” ⁠
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What you are truly teaching them goes beyond being a good leader. ⁠
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You are also teaching them resilience. The ability to bounce back, not to sweep the uncomfortable experiences under the carpet.⁠
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I’ll admit it, as a woman, there are times I agonize over what I’ll be wearing—there are so many choices. Including which earrings work with that outfit and my lipstick color.

It may sound ridiculous, but I challenge the reader to consider how many small decisions you make each morning before you even leave the house: to make coffee, buy it at Starbucks or have tea instead.

Combine that with all the small and large decisions you make at work.

Even being polite to someone is a decision. It’s dizzying. Is it no wonder by 3:00pm, you’ve made hundreds if not thousands of decision—leading to feeling fatigued.

Ever felt like this? Read my article of 2019 in Forbes Women where I write more about it!

https://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2019/05/13/how-to-identify-when-youre-experiencing-decision-fatigue/?sh=4e4944c07fb4

Stressed Out & Overwhelmed
I booked a Trip Off the Grid
To the Galapagos Islands

Point A to point B. JFK to the Galapagos. No cell phones. No computers. The archipelago is mostly uninhabited so I knew I couldn’t be found! It sounded PERFECT!

3 planes, a boat ride (see photo above), a school bus, then a rowboat onto a bigger boat to get to the slip. Finally, I arrived at the dock.

When I saw the boat my mouth dropped, and I couldn’t believe it.
10 days on what looked like a sh*****ng boat! Holy-you-know-what.

My quarters were made up of a bunk bed with a thin foam mattress on a piece of plywood. And a bathroom the size of airplanes WITH a shower. I knew this was not going to be posh, but I hadn’t anticipated the simplicity of the arrangements. The rules were simple, keep the archipelago safe. With that, I hand over all my hair products and non-organic soaps to protect the ecosystem. Smiling I surrendered them to Eduardo, who I would later find out was not only my porter but guide and cook on the boat.

Floating on a boat in the middle of one of the most beautiful places on earth taught me some very important lessons;

1) Its sheer beauty taught me that simplicity is the best and often most elegant solution. Don’t overcomplicate things. It only causes stress and overwhelm.

2) It doesn’t take a lot to make me happy and feel peaceful – although I did wish I could blow my hair out a few times

3) Swimming with the sharks (yes! I did) I learned that fear is the bigger enemy, more so than the threat. Fear paralyzes. Breaking down the threat removes the fear. Just an FYI, people are not on the menu for sharks in the Galapagos, they have plenty of food there. I was completely safe. The second lesson was not to let preconceived ideas influence my choices. If I did, I would have never gotten into the water.

4) Snorkeling with sea lions reminded me that laughter is free and freeing. Laugh more and breathe more of the joy of life in. Sea lions are hilarious creatures!

5) Standing next to the giant 100-year-old turtles I was reminded that in this world I am small. Be respectful and listen to those with more wisdom.

6) Water is very healing for my nervous system. In this experience the impact was profound. To date, I have always sought out water to relax.

This trip to the Galapagos took place many years ago during my corporate days.
It gave me a completely different perspective on why I was so stressed out, all the time! Happiness is simple if we allow it to be so.

KEEP IT SIMPLE everyone!
And for goodness sake – go laugh yourself into a blissful place!

“Never forget that you are one of a kind. Never forget that if there weren’t any need for you in all your uniqueness to be on this earth, you wouldn’t be here in the first place.

And never forget, no matter how overwhelming life’s challenges and problems seem to be, that one person can make a difference in the world.

In fact, it is always because of one person that all the changes that matter in the world come about. So be that person.” ~ R. Buckminster Fuller

The world needs your authentic, whole-hearted leadership.
I’d really like to know how this lands for you.

What You Think Matters
More Than You May Realize
It Affects them…and You

The medical term, psychoneuroimmunology, refers to the connection between our thoughts and how the body reacts.

In simplest terms, complaints, griping or harsh judgment of others (or self) weakens physiology and leaves us exhausted.

While positive, life-affirming thoughts leave us feeling energized.

Just a little subconscious behavior that’s worth knowing about.
Awareness changes behaviors. And in this case, it can change your team culture.

You are the leader. It starts with you.

PIVOT!!!!!

Anyone who grew up watching the popular TV show “Friends” will recognize this iconic scenario. This is me and my friend “B” at the “Friends Experience”….pivoting! We laughed so hard, we cried!

I’ll spare you the photos of us dancing with the fez topped turkey on our heads.
THAT, I do not believe is for public consumption.

Good friends hide your most embarrassing photos on their cell phones and only take it out when the two of you can laugh so hard others will wonder what’s going on.

I hope you’re having a fun Sunday!..and don't forget to PIVOT!

If you want to change someone’s Attitude,
Acknowledge them with a deliberate Act of Kindness.

Bad attitudes are layered with resentment.
Sometimes just being kind to someone who is having a really bad day is better than ignoring them. Which only builds more resentment.

This is not a hard thing to do;

- Thank them for their hard work and contribution without going overboard.
- Bring a cup of coffee to their desk and the only words needed are no words at all. Just a smile is enough. If they are WFH, send them a Starbucks card.
- Cookies work too!
- Open a door, hold the elevator, or train door for them
- Lend a helping hand, small gestures mean a lot (that means "do", not delegate more to them)

Simple deliberate acknowledgments go a long way. These are just a few ideas.

Feel free to add something to the list…in fact, that would be helpful to everyone if you did!

Elon Musk Redefines the 3C's of Leadership

Thoughts?

Read the article: https://www.inc.com/kelly-main/elon-musk-leadership-3-cs-rule.html

June is Pride Month

Acceptance is a show of empathy
Acceptance is an act of compassion
Acceptance is allowing connection to others

In all things you do, be mindful of acceptance
For yourself and others

Happy Pride Month!

***r

People often ask me how I ground myself every day.
Do I have a “practice”?
Then they cringe.

They don’t want to know that it takes time and consistency. Something they feel they don’t have enough time for. Yet they know, it would probably help them

For years I would read, pray and write affirmations every morning.
Sometimes I still do. Truthfully, I can’t always get that much quiet time.

However, if I remember to keep it simple, and stick to the SINGLE PRINCIPLE the morning ritual becomes extremely simple and effective.

Starting everyday with Gratitude, which is the Divine Consciousness and Social Glue we share with one another.

When I do this, it’s a Mindset Changer.
I feel better and can see the good in almost anything.

It changes my connection with others.
A deep energetic force positively permeates all interactions.

My brain automatically seeks to find the good around me.
That’s what gratitude does – it retrains your brain. Amazing, right!

I can tell the difference on the days I skip this ritual.
I’m not as patient nor kind. My optimism can wane.

I’ve developed a few 5–15-minute rituals you can use to create your own Daily Practice. One you can do from your bed, another on your cell phone while commuting and if you like to linger over a cup of coffee, there’s a format for you too!

For FREE copy of “The Daily Set Point” just drop me a DM with the word: GRATITUDE and I’ll send you the link or go to my ⁠

Quit your leader if there’s no room for growth
Quit your leader if they aren’t investing in your leadership skills.
Quit your leader if working 18-hour days is the norm.
Quit your leader if your contributions are not considered or valued
Quit your leader if the team culture is exclusive and elitist
Quite your leader if you cannot find the meaning in your work

People don’t quit companies.
They quit leadership.
They quit leaders that don’t even try to make a difference.

Ineffective, lazy, detached from the reality of its people, and void of the mission.

Wake up call: People want MEANING in their work, fairness, growth, and a healthy culture. These things are no longer negotiable.

If you cannot find your bliss where you are, lead a team in an organization that either can do this, and/or will allow you to build for them.

The only person who needs to give you permission to go is you.

Are you getting what you want? ⁠
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Recently a client told me about her challenges of needing to become more visible in her workplace so she could move up into another, more expansive leadership position at the company where she really loved working. It was not a corporate objective but her own. However, the inflection around the word “leadership” felt laden with annoyance.⁠
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When I enquired, she sighed and said, “I really don’t want more responsibility.”⁠
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“Well then why are you seeking something you clearly have a negative response to and don’t want?”⁠
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She laughed and admitted there was an internal conflict.⁠
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“Do you think that’s why I am not getting the stuff I need to get done to achieve this goal?”⁠
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Read it further in my latest article and do not forget to subscribe to my Linkedin newsletter: https://www.linkedin.com/newsletters/values-based-leadership-6917430117409394688/

Escaping from the Big City

We desire to get out into the Big Sky & Open Spaces
And I’m running there as fast as possible in my flip flops

I’ve been a beach baby forever. I love the sunshine, sand, sounds of the surf and the expansiveness I feel looking out on the ocean. The world is so quiet and peaceful in these moments. The holiday weekend ushered in the official start of summer - I could not be happier! Even though I still have a few wool sweaters left out for cool evenings.

This is where you will find me every weekend in the summer.
On Atlantic Beach with my husband and our friends watching the whales breach and the dolphin pods swim. I bet you didn’t know we could see that off NY shores! We can!

Being near the water is my bliss. It grounds me. And reminds me how small I am in this great big world. It's an equalizer. Humbling.

With so many changes happening in our lives right now.
I've needed this centering.

More big news coming soon.

“Everything we do for another person has infinite consequences. Every action gives rise to a ripple effect, just as a pebble that is tossed into a pond sends out wave after wave, widening and covering more and more space”
~ Caroline Myss, author of “Invisible Acts of Power”

Be aware of your own invisible power and the ripple you create around yourself.
When your awareness of potential impact increases, the choices you make in how you engage with others will shift too.

We all create impact knowingly and unknowingly.
Take it seriously.

Quit your leader if there’s no room for growth
Quit your leader if they aren’t investing in your leadership skills.
Quit your leader if working 18-hour days is the norm.
Quit your leader if your contributions are not considered or valued
Quit your leader if the team culture is exclusive and elitist
Quite your leader if you cannot find the meaning in your work.

People don’t quit companies.
They quit leadership.
They quit leaders that don’t even try to make a difference.

Ineffective, lazy and detached from the reality of its people, and void of the mission.

Wake up call: People want MEANING in their work, fairness, growth, and a healthy culture. These things are no longer negotiable.

If you cannot find your bliss where you are, lead a team in an organization that either can do this, and/or will allow you to build for them.

The only person who needs to give you permission to go, is you.

I have a weird habit...⁠⁠
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When I transition from one major phase in my life to the next, I feel a little unsettled.⁠⁠
My creative juices begin to flow and it makes me fidgety as I consider, mull over and toss things around in my head and on paper.⁠⁠
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What is possible?⁠⁠
What am I no longer available for?⁠⁠
And, what’s next for me and my family?⁠⁠
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I know you know what I’m talking about.⁠⁠
In fact I’ve been talking with so many of you about this current feeling of a change.⁠⁠
You might think you’re nuts – but we all feel it too. ⁠⁠
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That weird habit…⁠⁠
I bake when I’m in that transition point. I’m not a big baker, but I do love creating in my kitchen. It’s mostly healthy meals. However, in this moment, I want sweet scents all around me. It’s almost like a ritual for bringing in New Beginnings.⁠⁠
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I find chopping nuts meditative. ⁠⁠
The smell of vanilla inspires me. ⁠⁠
And the clouds of flour just make me smile. ⁠⁠
It takes me back to my moms kitchen. 🍪 ⁠⁠
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Now, mind you, this desire to make cookies, Pecan Sandies specifically, is not in alignment with my desire to drop several more LBS. Nor is it going to help with my desire of having stronger, more toned legs. So, I plan on giving most of them away. (Erin, I promise) But enjoying 1 or 2 isn’t a big deal.⁠⁠
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What do you do when you have this case of the fidgets?⁠⁠
How are you channeling your energy? Where & why?⁠⁠
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I’m planning a few IG lives in the near future to open this discussion up.⁠⁠
The shift we’re all feeling is so real. ⁠⁠
We can dig into this over a cup a tea/coffee and your fav cookie! 🍪 ☕⁠⁠
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Wisdom from the streets of Brooklyn.⁠
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What Tony says is very true.⁠
You can't fight change, it will exhaust you, wear you out and down to a nub.⁠
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It is spiritual. ⁠
Growth is about evolving to your best self. No matter what, as humans, we're designed to be of service to one another - not just leaders. Not just essential workers. ⁠
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Everyone...is....here....to....help...each....other.⁠
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As you grow, your leadership changes. Your life changes. Relationships and relation to others deepens. It becomes less about you and more about how "We" can all win...together.⁠
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So stand a little taller.⁠
You're never alone on this journey.⁠⁠⁠⁠
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You’ve Lost Sleep over this.⁠
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Yeah, we all have those moments where we’re not sure if we made the right decision. Most leaders, and people, I know are good and well intending. They try hard to always be fair. However, at times, even the best considered decisions can cause sleepless nights.⁠
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One way to appease those sleepless sharks in your mind is to try the “Sink or Swim Test” which uses 4 scenario based questions. You could customize this to any situation. ⁠
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Was the decision you made fair? ⁠
*Empowerment: Will this compromise the persons credibility or capability to do their job?⁠
*Shoes: If you were in their shoes, would you still consider this the best option?⁠
*Organization: Is it the best decision for the people involved, the team or the organization?⁠
*Social Media: If this decision became part of the organizations reputation, would this enhance or hinder building a healthy work culture?⁠
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One word about empowerment – sometimes, you may have to make a decision to address unethical behavior. If so, the question changes to “Will this behavior empower others to do the same if it’s not addressed?” That’s a very important distinction to make!⁠
Challenge: Assess your last few decisions against the sink or swim test. I am willing to bet you will have a better night’s sleep when you do!⁠
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Lead forward.⁠
Lead upward.⁠
And always for the greater good of everyone.⁠⁠⁠⁠

Goodness, light and magic comes in all shapes, sizes and genders.⁠
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Happy National Tooth Fairy Day!⁠
Leave a little extra something for your kids (big & small) today! And give those pearly whites and extra thorough brush!⁠⁠⁠⁠

We All Know When it’s Over.⁠
It’s just like dating. At a certain point you just don’t recall what the attraction was. Well, maybe you do, but now it’s not a big enough reason to stay.⁠
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Or, maybe you decided to reframe the boundaries and redefine the relationship in order to take it to the next level.⁠
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The same goes for our careers; the passionate work and meaning we strive for in what we do. I hear more and more clients telling me “it’s got to mean something, otherwise I’m not sure why I’m here.”⁠
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I got you!⁠
And I dare you…to break down your work and reframe it before you flee.⁠
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ID your product or service⁠
Define what it does⁠
And here’s the most important part…how does it fulfill your customers need?⁠
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Examples always work best. ⁠
* Architect, Sandy: “I work to create homes that hold memories for a lifetime”⁠
* Financial Services, Julian: “I give people the peace of mind to know their loved ones are taken care of after they’re gone.”⁠
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In both examples, they bypass the rubbish and get down to what their purpose is in their work. If you do this and your reframe doesn’t light your hair on fire, tug at your heart, then it’s time to go.⁠
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Be Brave my lovelies! Bring your passion into work you love and has meaning. The meaning that makes sense to YOU.⁠
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Let Your Creativity Flow…into a soup bowl.⁠
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At heart many of the professionals I work with are super creative people. While they may not hold the title of painter, sculptor or artist, they are true geniuses who have found a way to channel that creativity into whatever work they’ve chosen; masterfully putting together talented people, processes and solutions IS another form of creative practice. They also like to cook!⁠
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Sometimes I use making soup as a meditation. The rhythmic chopping helps me sort out challenges. The use of color, texture and spice allows me to work in my zone of genius – creativity. Somehow, once the elixir is bubbling away, the aroma takes me to a solution or a familiar, happy place in my past. FYI – making a salad does the same thing for me in the spring/summer.⁠
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Like many others, I rarely use a recipe. I feel my way through the balance of what’s needed to make it…delicious! I ask other cheffies like me what’s in their pot i.e recently someone offered her Spinach, Leek & Sweet Potato soup combo. (She was the inspo for this post). Later I’ll be whipping up Tomato Fennel Soup – a house favorite! And so comforting on yet another snowy day.⁠
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What soup is bubbling on your stovetop?⁠⁠⁠⁠
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School Yard “Rules”, Bullies and others Characters⁠
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Those who are driven by fear could show up as;⁠
• Feeling threatened because they were left out of a conversation⁠
• Embodying a “do as I say, not as I do” approach to behaviors & policy⁠
• Hiding pertinent contracts, deals and details⁠
• Use of threats (veiled or direct) to motivate others to do as they wish⁠
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The workplace can sometimes feel like a school yard playground. No one likes to be left out, that’s for sure. I’ve seen this a million times. It always reminds me of an adult version of childhood bullies going to whatever lengths they need to win without regard for the “safety” and progress of everyone else.⁠
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Sometimes a bully just needs to be called out on their behavior. Come on, many of us have, maybe, been a bit of a bully. Until someone made us aware of what we were doing.⁠
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Cue: Self-reflection and awareness = Change⁠
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Don’t get me wrong, fear is necessary in keeping us safe. You wouldn’t your hand in a bonfire, right? ⁠
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How have you handled a bully (or intimidator) in the workplace?⁠
FYI – “Pantsing” them isn’t appropriate in business today – just to be clear.⁠ 🤣⁠⁠⁠