Protyus A. Gendher

Protyus A. Gendher

Reflections as an enby, surrogate, proletarian warrior. Email [email protected] to schedule a ZOOM speaker session.

31/12/2023
Being Realistic 11/07/2023

https://invisiblymisdiagnosed.wordpress.com/2023/07/11/being-realistic/

Being Realistic So, yesterday, I posted my ideal diet moving forward. Ready for some real talk though? I work 40+ hours each week. I moonlight as a performer. I have a huge yard and an HOA. I’m a mom and par…

YES Foods 24/06/2023

https://invisiblymisdiagnosed.wordpress.com/2023/06/23/yes-foods/

YES Foods A-ZAnimals.com What are YES Foods? I’m so glad you asked. YES foods are the foods that fuel us, that stabilize us, that heal us. How do we find our YES foods? It’s tricky. For me, perso…

The First Bite Is The Deepest 23/06/2023

https://invisiblymisdiagnosed.wordpress.com/2023/06/22/the-first-bite-is-the-deepest/

The First Bite Is The Deepest Today was day one. Not really, I’ve been looking into these things for my entire life, so there’s really no such thing as a day one, but eating an elephant starts with that first bite. …

Being Treated Like a Hypochondriac 23/06/2023

https://invisiblymisdiagnosed.wordpress.com/2023/06/22/being-treated-like-a-hypochondriac/

Being Treated Like a Hypochondriac Inevitably, if a person gets to where I am, they have been treated as though they are just making everything up. Pill seeking. Lying. It’s all in our heads. I can’t imagine coming this …

22/06/2023

invisiblymisdiagnosed.wordpress.com

Toxicity Toolkit 15/10/2022

Focus on the past until you’ve processed it.
Focus on the past until you don't find yourself triggered daily.
Focus on your past until your present stops repeating the patterns.
Focus on the past until truth and shame become old friends
Focus on your last until you can see a cutie that fits you
Focus on your past to teach yourself what you deserve instead
Focus on the past until your heart and mind move on
Because ignoring it will not make it go away.
Facing it will.

Toxicity Toolkit Because we all deserve healthier relationships

Thursday Night Live: A Date with Dapkus & Family 14/10/2022

In case you missed A Date with Dapkus here is the youtube video of our talent packed night.

Thursday Night Live: A Date with Dapkus & Family Adam Dapkus and his family will be putting on their own variety show including music, poetry, and more. After winning the Longmont Public Media Talent Show, ...

08/10/2022

I can't believe it's almost here! My drag debut is coming up!

02/10/2022

Please feel free to share with anyone who might need this.

Brave by Protyus A. Gendher
Don’t you dare call me brave
For existing as myself
For refusing to hide pieces away to be more palatable
I’m delectable in my sovereign uniqueness
And that’s not brave
That’s you having a tiny view
That’s you projecting your ideas of normalcy on me
No need
That’s s**t you can keep
Lock it away please
Keep that off of me

Please, if you would be so kind, refrain from referring to me as resilient
Just because I have a light that didn’t extinguish
From every catastrophe this world hurled at me
I’m not your poverty p**n, so get off of me
I don’t need more situations to “make me stronger”
I don’t need you to praise the fact that I didn’t wither away
Check the meaning behind your words and your privileged gaze


Please put the word “survivor” back in your pocket
I do not wish to see it or hear it
How dare you glorify my pain
And try to assign it some purpose so you never have an uncomfortable feeling
About a world that’s kept me on my knees
How do you feel when you use that word
That erases my experience through misunderstood worth?

These words that you seem to think are high praise
Give away
What you’re really trying to say
It’s not welcome here
Take it away.

Longmont's Most Talented - part of Thursday Night Live @Longmont Public Media and Member Drive 16/09/2022

Are you a creator? You need to be a part of this!

Longmont's Most Talented - part of Thursday Night Live @Longmont Public Media and Member Drive Watch and comment LIVE as people show off their talents. The winner will headline their own event on October 13th! This event will conclude with our grand pr...

Karens in the Crowd 13/09/2022

For my heckler

Karens in the Crowd To The Karen In The Crowd To the Karen in the crowd Why are you screaming? What is it that has you in such a tiff? What is it that has this snowflake triggered? What is it that has set this flake a…

New Developments 10/09/2022

So much content!!!!

New Developments Life kept lifing I apologize for my absence. The Toxicity Toolkit is still as important to me as ever, and as essential to my life. We had to move in April/May, and life has been lifing ever since.…

Returning From A Pause 10/09/2022

Returning From A Pause Life kept lifing I apologize for my absence. The Toxicity Toolkit is still as important to me as ever, and as essential to my life. We had to move in April/May, and life has been lifing ever since.…

Returning From A Pause 10/09/2022

New post in The Toxicity Toolkit

https://toxicitytoolkit.wordpress.com/2022/09/10/returning-from-a-pause/

Returning From A Pause Life kept lifing I apologize for my absence. The Toxicity Toolkit is still as important to me as ever, and as essential to my life. We had to move in April/May, and life has been lifing ever since.…

Abortion by Protyus A. Gendher @ The West End Lounge 08/09/2022

https://youtu.be/MxyY4Y1xXwM

Abortion by Protyus A. Gendher @ The West End Lounge Protyus performs Abortion @ The West End Lounge

The Woman Left Behind 05/09/2022

The Woman Left Behind

The Woman Left Behind Visit Amazon's The Woman Left Behind Page and shop for all The Woman Left Behind books. Check out pictures, author information, and reviews of The Woman Left Behind

03/09/2022

Abortion

14 years old and had to run away from home

Fighting every day to make it on her own

Each decision made with the purpose of survival

Living on the streets of the belt of the bible

She never knows where she’s going to get her next meal

Or where she’ll sleep tonight, it’s scary and its real

She grew up in a home where she got beaten every day

But it’s ok, because daddy said that it was in god’s name

That she was just a sinner, and nothing she did was right

So, she did what she had to, to have a bed to sleep in tonight

“It’s not that bad” she tells herself, sometimes it even feels good

The warm body she’ll wake up next to, bought her booze and food

She survived another day, and for now has a place to stay

But there’s a price to pay, and she pays it every day

And when she wakes up puking, she’s told she has no say

Her body never belonged to her anyway

Her dad had the right to beat her

This guy had the right to cheat her

And she just wants to be her



36-year-old, mother of four

If she tells him “No,” he’ll call her a w***e

So, she performs her expected chore

This day just like each day before

She’s exhausted, and has no spoons left to give

It’s too hard to fight, she just wants to live

She’s property, she can’t get out, she belongs to him

He doesn’t approve of birth control

But there’s no way she can handle one more

And all the responsibility lands on her

4 kids, 2 jobs, and her feet hurt

In a world that says this should be her place

Everyone but her deciding her fate

She sees an extra line when she pees on a stick

She’s done this before, and it makes her feel sick

Because she didn’t have the right to avoid it

Her body belonging to his enjoyment

36 and not a full person yet

Just a baby factory, whose spoons are spent



She’s 12 and she was r***d in a brutal assault

In her brain feeling that everything is her fault

Told she doesn’t deserve the chance to heal

Because her life isn’t hers, how would you feel?



They’re 28 years old, and married the love of their life

After other personhood struggles, to allow them to take a wife

But these two always knew they were meant to be together

Meant to spend their lives, making each other better

The love story of a lifetime, filled with joy and growth

Finding out they were pregnant, filled their hearts with hope

They watched their diet, exercised, and took their vitamins

They cried when the shared the news with family and friends

An ultrasound with a heartbeat, making a dream come true

They’re planning the nursery, and looking at possible schools

Now they’re 24 weeks along, two trimesters in

But this morning they fell in the shower, and the baby stopped kicking

They called their OB in panicked tears, who told them to come in

For another ultrasound, to look for a heartbeat again

“I’m so sorry,” their doctor said, “perhaps you’ll try again”

And just like that it all came to an end

But what do they do now, because the law says that they must

Carry this co**se to term, it’s 40 weeks or bust



His life is transforming, it’s been 6 months on T

And he hasn’t had a period in at least 2 or 3

Frankly, that was one of the goals

So, it seemed this was the new normal

He was prepared to feel quite different

So, he never questioned where his period went

Or why he woke up feeling nauseous

And he’s been cautious

He can dissociate enough to share a night with someone

But how’s he supposed to dissociate for nine months?

Gender dysphoria is back again

Like a toxic best friend



She’s spent so much money on motherhood

So many doctors said she never would

Conceive a child and live her dreams

She still can’t believe that the line turned pink

But she’s feeling much worse than she should

She tried to push through it as hard as she could

She didn’t want to admit how bad this hurt

Until she collapsed while she was at work

The embryo’s ectopic and now her life’s in danger

While her fate is decided by strangers



Another mom-to-be hears something’s desperately wrong

In an ultrasound, while she’s 22 weeks along

The baby isn’t forming the way that it should

And if carried to term, they know that it would

Die right after being born

Both parents heartbroken, forlorn

They’re not allow to spare it’s suffering

How on earth could this be the right thing?



Stories like these are endless, each with their own circumstances

People with uteruses not really people, allowed to make their own choices

People in real situations not allowed to have voices

Because they’re being controlled

By an external force

It’s not ok to subjugate masses of people

It’s not ok; it’s clear and it’s simple.

What do they gain by taking our choices away?

Why do our lives not matter, why are we not worth saving?

The Woman Left Behind: Trauma and Rejection 29/08/2022

The first two volumes of "The Woman Left Behind" are now on Amazon. "Identity and Becoming," and "Trauma and Rejection" are both available as ebooks, and will be available in paperback later this week! More volumes to come in this journey.
Happy Healing!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BC96FD44

The Woman Left Behind: Trauma and Rejection Explore trauma, abuse, rejection, and the life that comes after in this volume of The Woman Left Behind. In tones of strength and honesty, Protyus A. Gendher examines social and interpersonal trauma to reveal healing, self-worth, and accountability. This volume should have all of the trigger warn...

29/08/2022

The Woman Left Behind: Identity and Becoming https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BC7TFS28/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_WQW8NG7MCVBZVXYJTSMR

25/08/2022

Protyus performs Community, Hands Tied, and Due Process at West End Lounge in Loveland- with a heckler

Protyus A Gender; Public Enenby Number One

Fed up with the struggles of everyday life? Join me as we laugh our way through exploring gender, s*x, parenting, partnership, the patriarchy, and life in the proletariat.

Videos (show all)

Community
Protyus talks mental health
Protyus discusses reproductive rights
Pride set
Before I knew I was Trans by Protyus A. Gendher
My Gender by Protyus A. Gendher

Website

http://toxicitytoolkit.wordpress.com/, http://protyusagendherpoet.wordpress