Birth & Beyond Glasgow

Wisdom from Kathryn Stagg IBCLC - lactation consultant
Read, share, normalise!

While usually I steer very much away from numbers for milk volumes, this basic set of sums can help make sense of *approximately* how much babies might take at each feed. Remember it's smaller for newborns gradually increasing up to 6wks.

MATHS TIME

Research shows
the average breastfed baby takes approx
750ml milk in 24 hours between 1-6 mths

Research shows
the average breastfed baby feeds 11 times in 24 hours (can be more than this of course)

750 ÷ 11 = 68.18ml per feed

Then remember many babies have both breasts per feed, so perhaps 40-50ml from the first
20-30 from the second

It's time to normalise small volume feeds more frequently. This is how human babies are supposed to feed.

Some babies may feed less frequently naturally, but may take more milk in one feed if mum has a larger storage capacity. Some may feed more frequently. Many love to cluster feed. 3-4 hourly feeds is not something to aim for. But babies often have one or two longer stretches of sleep in 24 hrs (make sure you are also asleep at these times!). But they will likely feed more frequently at other times of day.

Not all feeds are the same volume. They may want a drink, a meal or an all you can eat buffet!

And it's also time to normalise pumping volumes! 60ml/2oz is totally normal. And if you've breastfed first, it is likely to be less!

Useful info from Dr Pam on why Feed Play Sleep may not be a helpful tool. When we try to break biological patterns it tends to make parenting harder rather than easier, and introduce stress responses in babies rather than the relaxation which is needed for going to sleep comfortably. There are always variations between babies, but if it doesn't feel like it's working for your baby it is because the method doesn't fit, NOT because you are 'doing it wrong' or your baby needs fixing...

PAY AS YOU FEEL BABY MASSAGE!
I fluffed advertising the Baby Massage Moon Rooms May block starting tomorrow morning at The Moon Rooms. I'm committed to paying the room fee so I'm offering this as 'pay as you feel/can' - I'd rather have a group enjoy it than sit at home and take the loss.

If that means you attend for free, that's fine! If you want to pay something, that would be a bonus but it will be entirely confidential. Book at www.birthandbeyondglasgow.com (no payment required)

Please share this with anyone you know who has a baby age 6weeks - 6m and might be interested in learning baby massage, chatting with other mums and eating homemade cake!

If you're at a loose end this afternoon why not pop in to Merry-Go-Round Glasgow for a birthday bargain and boogie 😁 🎂🎉🍰🥳

I've lost track of my drinks/bites already today!

We hold babies to a completely unfair double standard when it comes to eating/drinking.

Broadly, if it would feel inappropriate that an elderly relative or vulnerable adult in a care environment was being limited to fixed amounts of food/drink at specific intervals when they expressed hunger or thirst in between, it should feel equally inappropriate for a baby.

Responsive feeding - whether breast or bottle - is important in allowing babies to learn the associations between hunger, consumption and satiety (feeling full) - essentially learning how much they need to eat/drink to satisfy their instincts (hunger/thirst) at any given time. It can feel frequent (and sometimes not very convenient!) but is very much supporting normal development, helping them with appropriate appetite and portion management in later life.

When will my baby stretch out their feedings?
In reality - probably never. Adults put something in their mouth very frequently. I challenge you to an experiment. How often did you eat or drink yesterday? Count all snacks, all glasses of water / cups of tea etc.

My day looked like this:
1. 8am - Breakfast
2. 8.30 - Drank a coffee in the car while driving to work
3. 9.00 - Topped up the cup and sipped it through my first CBT session (client had one too)
4. 10.30 - Herbal tea
5. 11.30 - More herbal tea
6. 12.30 - Lunch (that’s 6 “feeds” already) - sipped water throughout that hour
7. 2pm - Some water
8. 3.30 - A handful of nuts and some more water
9. 5pm - Arrived home and made myself a big glass of juice
10. 6pm - Dinner
11. On a weekday I might go to the gym /do yoga (more water) or at a weekend I might watch a movie and have snacks and drinks.

That’s 10-12 “feeds”, sometimes with a gap and sometimes I clustered with lots of little sips of water. You have to drink frequently to stay hydrated. Why should a baby be any different?
What does your day look like?

This is beautiful, and sums up parenting so eloquently.

We may worry about all sorts of things not being perfect or even 'good enough', but what matters is what our children remember 💜

Today, the TV was on for that little bit too long.

Today, the two of us are comprised almost entirely of bread-based concoctions.

Today, more wees ended up on the floor than in the loo. And I didn't do a good enough job of hiding my irritation.

Today, I apologised too much. And you forgave too easily, as children often do.

But tonight, we lay in your too-small toddler bed hugging tightly in the dark.

After twenty minutes of chatter, it fell silent. But then, as always, you blurted out your closing statement for the day. It usually involves batman.

Tonight, however, you said "You are warm like summer, Mummy. You are mine very own hot water bottle."

Minutes later, you fell heavily into a sweaty slumber, leaving me to soak in your words.

I gazed at you a while. I hoped that if I stared at you long enough or hard enough, I might commit this version of you to memory. That I might preserve you in all your three-year-old cuteness.

And my tears fell. Part-guilt for a rubbish day, part-relief that your enduring memory of it is mummy feeling warm like summer.

And with these cuddles the day was saved, redeemed.

I was convinced in the early days that I had approached sleep all wrong, that I was doing you a disservice by not 'teaching' you to fall asleep by yourself.

But now, on the harder days, I am certain that this so-called bad habit of mine is the one thing that I have done right.

📷: (https://www.instagram.com/sara_koba/)

Words by: Mother Truths

From "Warm Like Summer: Little Stories of Early Motherhood"

Available to buy worldwide: https://linktr.ee/mother_truths

This is a brilliant encapsulation of information that could make parenting so much less of a battle. Our societal norms almost all work against the natural instinctive needs of infants. If we adjust our expectations to fit what our newborns are hardwired to do, parenting would feel less difficult (although it is also hard to go against societal expectations and norms!)
With thanks to Dr. Justice Reilly, Breastfeeding Medicine for wrapping it up so eloquently 😍

This is such an important thing to understand! 💜

How your baby behaves (their temperament, their feeding patterns, their sleep patterns) is not a reflection of your ability as a parent. It can’t be - because it’s not something that you can control. We can’t control another person’s temperament. We can’t control another person’s metabolism or their emotional state. We can’t control when someone falls asleep or how long they sleep for.

Ah…but the books / this blog tells me that I can, you say.

So let’s delve into that…. What can we control around sleep and feeding. Well with sleep we can control how we offer opportunities for a baby to sleep. We can control the environment (quieting it when we notice they are tired), we can control what we do to soothe them (breastfeeding / rocking / singing / cuddling), BUT whether they actually fall asleep is not something we can control. With feeding we can control when we offer feeds (responding to their cues or not), we can control some parts of positioning and attachment by where we sit / stand / lie to offer our baby, BUT we can’t control whether our baby latches on, and how long they feed, or how they behave during that feed.

We cannot be accountable for things we cannot control, so how our baby behaves cannot be a reflection of how well we are doing as a parent and of our success or failure.

Remembering this is so important. If you are struggling with a baby not sleeping /feeding when/how you think they should, or with their mood/temperament/sensitivity try this:

Take a breath - with a nice long exhale
Remind yourself of something like this - “This is not something I can make happen. It is my baby’s choice whether they sleep or not right now. I can only create conditions like providing comfort, relaxation, carrying, soothing etc for sleep. I have done what I can.”

Praise yourself for allowing your baby the opportunity. Accept that they don’t want to take it up right now. Move on to something else and offer an opportunity later. Your baby’s behaviour /state of their nervous system at any point (how settled/unsettled they are) is not a reflection of your ability as a parent. You are enough.

Some fascinating information about the immune support provided by breast milk - every drop is beneficial 💜

The natural term for us humans to breastfeed until is anywhere between the ages of around 2 and 7+ years old. Some babies stop earlier, some children carry on for longer. It’s thought that the eruption of the permanent set of teeth (losing your milk teeth) influences this timescale.

Many cultures around the world breastfeed until natural term, including many women in the Western world. This age range is only surprising in cultures that interrupt breastfeeding, often without realising it or knowing which norms are biological and which are cultural.

The concentration of fats and proteins increase as the baby grows into a toddler, along with increased levels of antibacterial and antiviral components such as lysozyme, which is an anti-inflammatory, and destroys bacteria.

Lysozyme increases in concentration from about 6 months old, when babies become more independently mobile and everything (toys, sand, twigs, the cats biscuits?) go straight in the mouth, and keeps increasing after the first year.

The concentration of Lactoferrin also increases over time. Lactoferrin inhibits the growth of some cancerous cells. It also helps our babies to absorb their own iron stores, whilst binding to the iron in our baby’s body which prevents it from being available to harmful microorganisms that need iron to survive. Lactoferrin also kills the bacteria strep mutans, which causes tooth decay and cavities.

Our body’s immune system takes around 6 years to become fully mature, so the support of the protective factors in human milk until our immune system can fully function on its own seems play a part in the timescale of natural term weaning.

Longer term breastfeeding is also associated with reduced risk of diseases for the mother, including breast cancer.

We acknowledge that many mothers find it difficult to establish breastfeeding in the first place, that breastfeeding is a multi-layered investment on the part of a mother and that natural term feeding might not feel like - or be - a possibility for many.

We also acknowledge that lack of information about our biology contributes to the lack of support for mothers when they want to establish - or continue - breastfeeding, but cannot find the help they need from people who understand why it matters so much.

Let's continue to turn that around.

More information and references about how remarkable you are at www.human-milk.com/science

With Human Milk, Tailor-made for Tiny Humans

Laura is wearing our Signature Vest, in sock on our shop.

Such a useful post from Carol Smyth IBCLC & CBT - it helps to remember that most babies spit up at first, and if not distressed by it then reflux is not necessarily a 'problem' (other than for creating laundry!).

Wisdom from Feed Sleep Bond - the early weeks are beyond intense and our society isn't great at supporting new parents, instead imposing unrealistic ideals and expectations.

Be very kind to yourself if you have a small baby - it's several full time jobs!

A refreshing post from Feed Sleep Bond cutting through some of the fusty nonsense that can get us so frazzled about sleep. 💙

There's no damage to come from meeting your child's needs to help them to sleep comfortably and confidently - without using stressful, anxiety-inducing methods.

Definitely worth giving Lyndsey a follow for more evidence based tips 💜

Why not come along to The Moon Rooms for a gentle postnatal return to exercise 💜

📣 New Class! Post Partum Pilates with Anya 📣

Starting next Monday 22nd January from 10.30-11.15.

💫💫💫

Pilates is extremely beneficial for post partum, recovery and rehabilitation. Post natal Pilates will ease you back in to movement and exercise safely with a specific focus targeting on:

• Strengthening the whole core
• Strengthening the pelvic floor
• Improving diastasis recti (abdominal splitting)
• Realignment of posture
• Prevent back pain
• Enhancing wellbeing & confidence
• Meet other mothers at the same stage as you

Bring your baby with you to join in the session. All mats and equipment are provided so that’s one less thing you need to think about!

Get in touch with for more info or book in via link in bio

www.anyapilates.co.uk

This is going to be a great class!!!

Love this bingo card from Professor Amy Brown - Breastfeeding Uncovered 😁

If you want to find out more about when and how to introduce family foods to your baby, come and join me for a Zoom session where we look at facts, fiction and making it fun! 2 hours of info and discussion in a live small group setting with plenty of time for questions, £15. Drop me a message for the next dates 😊

Time for our annual early solids bingo competition? How many do you score? 🗳

None of these are signs your baby needs solids despite the comments you may have received / are still receiving this time of year in particular.

Waking at night, wanting to be held, chewing fists and watching you are normal parts of development that have nothing to do with hunger. Giving solids is highly unlikely to make any difference to these things.

If your baby is hungry, breast or formula milk is the highest energy dense food you can give. How would puree’d carrots solve hunger exactly?

If your baby is waking, then it’s likely for other reasons that won’t be solved by that supposedly magic carrot.

If your baby is watching you… well they watch you when you’re driving the car. Should they do that too?

If your baby is putting things in their mouth, that’s part of learning not hunger. The cat might try and persuade you otherwise.

Breast milk doesn’t suddenly change as your baby gets older. Well actually it does slightly but it changes to be slightly higher in fat and immune properties. It has everything your baby needs until 6 months when it’s important to start solids (gradually) as your baby’s stores of iron & zinc will be running out.

If your cousin’s friend is doing something well… as your mother probably said ‘if he put his hand in the fire would you too?’

And no obviously you are not mean. You’re supporting your baby’s health and development and meeting their needs by starting solids at around six months. Well, maybe you’re mean in other ways (like not letting your toddler run out in the road & get run over / throw themselves down the stairs / go out in the snow in just their pants etc) but starting solids won’t fix that either

The guidelines suggest solids at around 6 months for good reason. There is no benefit to introducing solids before this time & can increase your baby’s risk of illness. It really is a case of slow and steady being best.

'Tis the season for receiving other people's opinion on your every parenting decision...
Wise words from Kathryn Stagg IBCLC - lactation consultant on how to cope 🎄

How to cope with other people's opinions

One of the most difficult things about dealing with family at Christmas is that everyone has something to say about how you choose to parent. There will be opinions about how you are feeding baby, how baby is sleeping in the daytime, how they are sleeping at night, where they are sleeping at night, how often they are waking, when to start solids, how you are giving solids, what you are giving them to eat.

Remember parenting has actually changed quite a bit in the last couple of generations. It has moved a bit more away from strict routines, schedules, volumes to a more responsive style as we have learned more about attachment and normal childhood development and behaviour.

Comments and opinions do usually come from a place of love. They are trying to help. They see how tired you are. But if the suggestions do not fit with your gut instinct, then you do not need to follow them.

Firstly, remember it is actually nobody else's business how you parent your baby. You are within your right to just say "Thank you for your input" and don't say anything else. Or you can add "we are happy with what we are doing". Then just ignore them.

If you have a persistent one you could say "recent research shows that ...."

If you have someone who really will not let it lie, it is ok to ask them not to discuss it any further. Or to tell them where to go! Have a chat with your partner before the big day and see if you can work out a plan together of how to deal with it. A united front is far easier.

If you know any young mums in New Glasgow, please share details of this FREE antenatal course, run by Glasgow Sling Library, available to help them prepare for birth and parenting. Stacks of useful stuff included

Join me for Baby Massage, chat about all things new parenting, and homemade cake 😁 🍰 😋
Wednesdays at Merry-Go-Round Glasgow, two time slots available. Booking open for Nov (starting this week) and January:
www.birthandbeyondglasgow.com
Ideal Christmas present for a new baby - gif certificates available!🎄

This post from Kathryn Stagg IBCLC - lactation consultant explains perfectly why we often experience such conflict in early parenting - our society has us expecting to be able to put our babies down for what are (to a baby) long gaps, when they are programmed to eat very frequently and feel safe in our arms all the time 🤷‍♀️

Be more kangaroo! 😁 💜

New mums/parents - be more kangaroo!

I talk a lot about humans and kangaroos when supporting new parents. You see one of the few mammals who birth their babies at a more underdeveloped stage than us humans are kangaroos. Kangaroo babies crawl up into mum's pouch and then latch on to the ni**le and pretty much feed 24/7. Human babies, if left to their own devices after birth, crawl up their mum's chest and then latch on to the breast. They then need to be fed very frequently. But unfortunately we don't have a pouch. But we have strong arms, I nice curvy body to lie on and we can make a pouch by wrapping fabric to help our arms

Humans are "carry" mammals. These include all the apes and marsupials. The "carry" mammals birth the most immature infants out of all the mammals. They are completely dependent on their mothers for food, warmth and safety. Our babies feed frequently and because of this our milk has low levels of fat and protein

Other types of mammal are "follow" mammals such as horses and giraffes. These babies can walk soon after birth and feed quite frequently as they can keep up with their source of food. Their milk is a little higher in fat and protein than carry mammals as they feed a little less, and they need to grow strong quickly.
"Nest" mammals such as dogs and cats leave their babies and return several times a day to feed. This means the milk needs to be higher in fat and protein to help the babies wait for their parents' return.
And then there are "cache" animals such as rabbits and deer. They leave their babies in a safe place and return every 12 hours or so to feed them. Consequently their milk is much higher in fat and protein in order to sustain their babies for long periods

Many baby books seem to think we are nest mammals feeding 3 or 4 hourly and putting baby down in between. But we aren't. Human babies expect to be held constantly and fed frequently. Our milk is the perfect consistency for this. This is normal newborn human behaviour. And when the breastfeeding parent needs a break, they can have cuddles from someone else. Especially at night, tag teaming with your partner can help massively. Plus learning to feed lying down helps!

Love this post from Carol Smyth IBCLC & CBT explaining a baby's need for adult help in learning to regulate both physical and emotional states.

Almost all of a baby's need for co-regulation is met in the parents arms. It's the safest place they know and their go-to in all states of stress. 💜

A great POV on nappy changes from Carol Smyth IBCLC & CBT - it's so easy to forget that babies are experiencing everything in a much more physical and intrusive way without any rationale.

Talking to your baby all the way through a change, explaining what's happening using a gentle and reassuring tone, perhaps using different movements to help mitigate the physical agitation, if possible (side roll for cleaning bottom and swapping nappy, wrapping in a blanket for a cuddle to relax them before putting clothes back on) may help them as they adjust to this new normal 💜

THIS! This needs to be said louder and clearer until no one is suggesting to new parents that comfort is somehow a luxury to be rationed or only given on a timetable or at the convenience of someone else.

We would not expect to be treated that way as an adult. It's not ok for babies. We don't flourish on 'basic', we might survive or get by, but comfort (be it physical or emotional) is essential for thriving.

Perhaps this can be a small step towards better mental heath and resilience for everyone in future 💜

Let’s practice saying “It’s for comfort” confidently, proudly and seriously.

When our baby nurses to feel safe, relaxed and connected instead of for hunger.

When we lie down with our babies until they fall asleep.

When our baby is more comfortable in our arms or our lap than not.

Often we say “It’s JUST for comfort” but we need to drop the just. I hear it all the time and I’ve said it myself.

We have got to stop demoting comfort! We have to start using language to elevate comfort so everyone knows it’s importance.

Comfort and nurture for a baby is everything!!!

Safe, warm relationships are everything!

Responsiveness is everything!

Comfort builds fundamental brain structures that baby will use every single moment of their whole life.

Let’s nurture and comfort with pride and confidence. It’s a hard job that takes skill and we should be so proud of ourselves 💜💕🧠💕💜

This is one of the most common questions and least easy to answer - Dr. Justice Reilly, Breastfeeding Medicine has put together this super post which explains why it isn't straightforward!

Always love Feed Sleep Bond for practical, sensible words of wisdom! 💜😊

Delighted to be back in the event space at Merry-Go-Round Glasgow today for Baby Massage! All repaired and refreshed, we will put fairy lights back very soon for the full twinkly relaxing effect. Join me for Baby Massage MGR October block - only two spaces left at 11.15, plenty of room in 12.30 :D
www.birthandbeyondglasgow.com for booking

We live in a culture that teaches us to think of infancy as a few months, perhaps a year, and imposes unrealistic ideals of independence far too soon. If we worked *with* the developmental stages of our infants rather than trying to match unachievable goals, it would be so much less stressful for us and them 💜 breaking the mould and changing the pattern is *really* hard, especially when we are told 'we did xyz with you and you're fine'. Are we, though? 🤔

Infancy is a special time when the brain is extra sensitive to the environment.

In the first 3 years of life we have the opportunity for nurture to physically build the emotional brain, the stress system, neurotransmitter systems and gut health.

Our babies will leave infancy with a brain and body set up for stress resilience or not.

They will have what I call - Post Infancy Stress Resilience - OR - Post Infancy Stress Vulnerability OR something in between.

With Post Infancy Stress Resilience babies have the best chance at lifelong mental health. They can regulate stress, use their cognitive brain in school and work, navigate relationships, process emotions and access their full potential.

When babies are given freedom to be immature, dependent and needy they grow up to be mature and independent.

Expect your baby to need you intensely for at least 3 years. As Carly Grubb from says, “It’s that simple and it’s that hard.” And it is hard.

I want you to know that in all of the hard moments Nurture can be your North Star 🌟 And though we might not be close, this community is always cheering you on.

Please share in your stories to grow The Nurture Revolution 💜🧠💜 Illustration by

Absolutely love this from Second Star to the Right Sleep 💙💜💙💜

Framing disruption as a 'regression' is unhelpful as it gives the idea it's a backwards move to a less good state, which isn't the case. It's also nothing to do with routines, environment or anything you've done - it's developmental!

So important and so little understood in a society that often measures the 'goodness' of a baby by how little/infrequently it needs attention from caregivers 😔

The infant brain is unique. It is not a miniature version of an adult brain. This might seem obvious, yet our culture expects infant brains to accomplish many adult brain tasks.

Many people are influenced to expect infants, 0-3 years to learn to:

Tolerate loneliness when awake and asleep

Self soothe or self regulate- go from a high stress state to a low stress state alone

Manage emotions like sadness, frustration, disappointment

Manage pain both emotional and physical

Play independently

Feed on a schedule

Sleep on a schedule

Parents are told they need to teach these things to babies. And I f they don’t, they are making their baby clingy and causing problems. This is absolutely false!

Infants can only begin to do these things when their prefrontal cortex starts to function at around age 3. These skills emerge slowly across childhood up to age 6 and beyond.

At each stage of development, it is only rational to expect an infant to use the brain circuits it has developed. We would not expect a 3 month old to use brain circuits that we know emerge in a 3 year old. It is comparable to asking someone who has only been exposed to English to summon the brain power and miraculously connect brain cells to understand French. Similarly we do not expect two 3 month old infants to have all of the same brain circuits. It takes time to develop complex brain circuitry and each infant’s brain makes circuits at its own pace.

Infants cannot use brain circuits they have not yet developed. We can support their brain development best by being responsive and nurturing. We don’t have to teach or force any of these things. When baby shows you they can do these things - that’s when they can do them.

When we attempt to teach infants complex concepts before their brain can handle them, it actually does accelerate their brain development but not in the way we want. When infants are taught developmentally inappropriate things, it can be stressful. It can accelerate and accentuate the brain development of fear circuits.

If it is sore, something isn't quite right. It is never a case of 'just push through', as carrying on without getting the cause of the pain sorted out can lead to further damage and difficulties.

Speak to a qualified Breastfeeding Counsellor, either on the helpline or with me at The Moon Rooms or any of the other many sources of support in Glasgow, including Margaret at Bumps and Babies at Merry-Go-Round Glasgow (temporarily in The Bungo), and La Leche League Glasgow. There is also Peer Support from Breastfeeding Network Greater Glasgow and Clyde and Glasgow Breastfeeding Buddies.

Ever gone for help and been told "that latch looks fine''?

A super summary of the difference between self settling (which babies might occasionally do if feeling safe and secure) and self soothing (which they are simply not yet sufficiently developed to do).

Singing it out again - you do not make your baby needy by responding to their needs! You make them secure in the knowledge from many repeated positive experiences that you will be there to help them when they can't cope alone. It can be exhausting, frustrating and sometimes just plain boring, but it is never time wasted. And as with so much of parenting, the rewards are often only realised some time later, but they do come when you realise that your little one has grown up consciously confident in your support (rather than unknowingly, as when babies) 💜