HS won't break me

So many things come to my mind when I think back to how this all started...
It was 2 months after I delivered my last child who is now 5 years old. I was at my 8 week follow up to see if things were going back to normal so I could get the okay to resume a normal life well my normal life. I am a mother of 3 kids at the time they were 8 and 7 plus the new born.

As I sat there waiting to see my Dr all I could think about was what is the Dr going to say about my little secret, is she going to judge, why is it not going away. What did I do wrong? Finally she walks in and asks the standard questions: How is the baby? How do you feel? Are you nursing? Are you sleeping? Of course I respond to all the questions wanting to just get to the point of my visit. She then asks me if there is anything I want to cover or ask her. That was it the moment I had been waiting for. I replied "Why yes there is, I have something on my inner thigh that won't seem to go away. Maybe an ingrown or a boil?" She looked at me very confused because mind you we just did exam and everything look fine. She glanced at my leg and said " Well Vee it looks like a small infection. Sometimes after delivering some woman can get a small infection from the hospital nothing a little antibiotic can't fix." My next thoughts that went through my mind would have made anyone lose their stuff....excuse the hell out of me did you just say I have an infection??? Are you saying this is a dirty hospital? I just delivered and now you are telling me that I might have an infection? I mean are we talking Staph/Strep/MRSA? Thank goodness she talked me off the ledge she sent a script to the pharmacy and off I went.

As the days went on everything cleared up and I was happy, hum I guess it was a stupid little infection let's move on and forget about it right? Well I was wrong 3 weeks later it was back and now bigger. So of course I go back and explain the frustration of this coming back to my Dr and she says " I think we need another round of antibiotics and for a little longer it should clear up then." Ok so here is a little about me that you need to know, I am not of fan of medications unless I really have to take them. Especially antibiotics because it causes other woman problems and let's face it I don't need anymore going on in that area. So reluctantly I took the medication like magic it is gone and I can stop stressing, the only problem was that my skin did not heal like usual. It left a scar that all I could think about was "well thank God it is high enough no one can see it."

Another month goes by and BAM just like that its back and it brought a friend on my other leg. Now I start to fear the worst because this s**t is not going away and it is spreading. Maybe I contracted some bulls**t ass infection because of the hospital not being clean. I made another appointment with my same doctor because well now she has some explaining to do or tests something anything. This time when I saw her she looked as confused as I was. " Vee I am not sure what this is, I need to have you tested for a Staph infection or maybe an STD..." She stated like it was nothing. At this point I lost it, "Are you saying that now I have an STD...on my thighs?" All I could think about was I am going to kill my husband because I have not been active with anyone else since we met so he has a lot of explaining to do. I remember crying and just telling her to just run whatever test she needed and to call me ASAP because I needed to start digging my husband's grave in some remote area where no one will find him.

THE TEST RESULTS...
I got the the call I had been waiting for the next day. " Hey Vee, I just wanted to give you a call and let you know that everything looks good and you don't have staph or MRSA and all sexually transmitted diseases are negative. Don't worry hun this will just pass with time." It was a this exact moment that I knew I needed a new doctor and I felt lost and alone and didn't even know where to start. All I kept asking myself was how did this happen and why??