Our Everyday Stories

I'm Hanging On by a Freaking Thread - Her View From Home This time of year is busy and overwhelming and I feel like I'm hanging on by a freaking thread and I need to know I'm not alone.

As someone searching for next steps and feeling I’m in limbo, I’m finding it’s likely in large part because I won’t just take a step back and let my walls down.

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Take the next step, however small it may be.

The path is there, keep following it.

You are stronger than you think.

Do not worry about the circumstances surrounding you.

Trust in yourself.

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For Lent, my family’s church is doing a series on the woman at the well.

It’s a story I’ve heard throughout my life, but it’s not until the past year that I feel like I’ve truly started to understand the depth of the story.

I’ve been asked to speak one Wednesday at our family’s church, and I couldn’t feel more excited and honored and nervous!

I haven’t spoken in front of a church since I was 19 when I went back home to speak for “college Sunday.”

Any presentation I’ve done or any topic I’ve spoken to in the past 11 years has been geared towards health care.

Despite not feeling qualified, I know this is what I’m being called to do.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been struggling and feeling more anxious than normal.

I’m working remotely for the first time in my life, and while there are so many benefits to that, I’ve also found myself feeling as though I don’t “belong” anywhere.

I’m used to 11 years of walking into a loud office of coworkers I love and can lean into… working remotely takes that physical closeness and can rob you of the sense of “belonging.”

When our family’s pastor asked me to speak, she shared with me a book on the woman at the well. To be honest, I “amazon searched” the author, and clicked purchase without paying attention to details like oh you know… the title.

When I tore open my new Amazon package, pulled the book out and saw the title I was taken back.

Belonging.

The word that has been popping into my head, is now the book I’m reading and the premise of the story I’ll be speaking to.

And really, isn’t this what we all desire? Is to belong?

Here’s a secret I’m learning… I already do belong somewhere … and so do you.

Just like the woman at the well who was shunned by so many and likely felt so alone and as though she didn’t “belong” anywhere, so it can be with us.

But the beauty is we’re all invited in to belong somewhere and … whether we’re aware or not, we already belong somewhere and with someone, we just have to open our hearts to Him.

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YES! 🙌🏽

I saw this on website and I feel like it hits home for all of us in so many ways.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like my “unfine” moments seem to multiply at lightning speed some days.

And ordinary days… well that’s my life.

There’s not a whole lot of glitz and glamour in my life, and yet it’s filled with love.

And love, isn’t that what we all desire?

Isn’t it what drives us to take steps forward in life?

Isn’t it the reason we can judge ourselves so harshly for our “unfine” moments towards others, because we love so deeply and feel shame?

But despite our “unfine” moments, despite our ordinary days and lives, we called to have courage and step into the world to be light and to show love to others.

We are called to be brave and vulnerable and not allow the judgment we place on ourselves to hold us back.

Despite our messiness, we’re called to love others.

Despite our ordinary lives, we’re called into a world that values bright lights.

We are called to remind others that life isn’t about the flashy life the world tells us to chase after.

We are called in our ordinary lives to be relatable.

We are called to lay our stories on the table so that others do not feel alone.

We are invited to be women of courage so that others feel and see and know love and do not feel alone.

It’s so easy when things take time or do not go smoothly to want to walk away.

It can feel like you’ve misinterpreted the next steps you are supposed to be taking with your life.

It can feel like you are wasting time.

But remember, if what you are doing is done with a pure heart and not in vain, the time and efforts you are putting forth are not wasted.

These are times for you to grow and learn, expand your horizons or perhaps to simply cross of your list approaches that do not work.

Do not let these moments tear you down, but instead let them serve as stepping stones towards the path you are on.

Have you ever pruned a tree or plant for that matter?

It’s not an easy process.

Choosing which limbs are better fit for life or best growth of the tree takes time and consideration.

On top of it, there’s the physically demanding part of the process. It is not easy work.

Then there are times in our lives, that storms rip through, and nature takes its toll.

Beautiful and vibrant trees that once provided shade and shelter, are made to look sparse. Our hearts ache at the sight of the forced pruning.

And so it is with life.

There are times in our lives that we are called to prune and shape things up.

Whether it’s relationships gone bad, habits or addictions that need to break, or jobs that need to be left, pruning parts of our lives is a difficult process.

And then of course there are the storms of life that take us for complete surprise.

Everything seems fine, and suddenly we’re left looking at the fallen ruins of a storm we didn’t expect. We’re left to figure out how to clean up and the steps needed to move forward.

Fortunately, similar to trees, pruning while difficult, also brings new life and protection.

By pruning away parts of our lives that are heavy and taking up valuable energy, we are able to give more of ourselves to the parts of our lives that are meaningful.

By pruning away dead limbs and parts of our lives that are beginning to fall apart, we are able to get ahead of the curve, and protect ourselves and others from debris falling at unknown times.

By pruning, we prevent unwanted guests from inhabiting our space.

By thinning our load, we are able breathe new life into emerging buds that would have otherwise fallen away.

By pruning, we are able to grow taller, spread a larger canopy, and bring more fruit to our lives.

By pruning we are able to live a fuller life.

So while pruning is never an easy process, whether done by choice or forced by a storm, it is needed. It can take time and consideration, or if forced on us, can leave us healing and picking up the debris.

But either way, pruning while painful at times, in the end brings us to a fuller and more fruitful life.

I’ve felt stuck.

Anxiety has snuck up on me again.

I feel lost and unsure of what steps I should be taking.

I sit frozen, unsure of where I’m supposed to go or what I’m supposed to do.

I need proof that even though I can’t see path set before me, that there is in fact one.

I look to other’s stories for hope.

And then, out of nowhere I’m reminded…

You have been here before.

You have felt lost and confused and unsure of where to go next.

You’ve felt left behind.

And then…

And then plans were revealed to you in time.

Then His love surrounded and comforted you.

Then His guidance led you to where you needed to be.

Then He helped transform your heart.

So when you feel left behind and unsure where to look, remember sometimes the quickest and most sure way to feel his comfort is to look back to your very own story.

Enjoy the weekend

And remember to not take life too seriously

Driving through the neighborhood I saw so many trees like this during the ice storm and they reminded me so much of our lives.

Here this tree was covered in ice crystals, and looked beautiful as light reflected from it. And yet, the weight of what it held in order to appear this way, was breaking it on the inside.

So often we go through lives using glitz and glamor as our armor.

We doll ourselves up with the latest makeup trends or fashion.

We put on a show so that to the rest of the world, we appear fine.

But really, on the inside, we are breaking.

The weight of the world is pulling us down.

The armor of protection we wear is heavy and causing us to bend.

Before we know it, we can’t handle the weight of fabricated show we are putting on, and we fall to our knees.

Sister, if this is you, here is your permission slip to take it all off.

You are free to not be ok.

You are free to shed the weight you are carrying for others.

We do not need a fabricated version you think the world wants you to be.

No sister, shed the weight of what you have been putting on for the sake of others, and just be you.

Forgive yourself.

Forgive others.

Grant yourself grace.

And know, as a parent sees their child and sees nothing but love, when He looks at you, that is what he sees too.

It’s always a weird feeling when you lose electricity.

There’s something about not having power that makes you feel super vulnerable.

Although you’re still in the same neighborhood and same house, all of a sudden it can feel like you’re not quite as safe.

The hum of the fridge or the white noise of your sound machine aren’t there to fill the air and the complete and utter silence is startling.

It’s strange to realize how much we depend on the noise and light of the world for comfort.

And really, isn’t that true in all aspects of our lives?

We live in a world that’s filled with distractions. We joke about people not being able to focus and being distracted by… squirrel.

But the truth is, the world we live in is overstimulating and it’s nearly impossible to find a place that’s quiet.

And then on the rare occasions that the world goes silent, instead of feeling peace, our hearts start to race.

We feel vulnerable and unsure.

Without the noise, and distractions, our attention can’t be pulled in various directions. Our minds aren’t passively filled with the noise from the world.

We’re left with only the thoughts in our heads, the aches in our hearts, and nothing to distract us. There’s nothing to numb what we’re feeling or drown out what we’re thinking.

All of a sudden, in a complete contradiction to life, the silence can feel overwhelming.

The funny thing is, that these moments of quietness that feel intimidating, are the moments we have the opportunity to be closest to God.

These are the moments He seeks out in our daily life. One-on-one time. Time without distractions. Time with Him and Him alone.

It’s in these quiet moments that He asks us to remove the noise and distractions of the world that we’ve used to make an armor around our heart, and to lay it all before him.

To acknowledge the things that are often buried deep beneath the shiney things, and hum of the world.

He also invites us to enjoy with Him the gifts in our lives that often get lost behind the business of the world.

In fact, to Him, these moments of quiet that we dread are ones He hopes for.

The ironic thing is, it doesn’t take power lines falling to have these moments with God.

These moments of closeness are available to us everyday if we can just be brave enough to block the rest of the world out and just sit.

Sit in the silence where He invites us to be with Him.

Don’t let the “I wants” of life, consume your life.

You know who they are.

Tag a friend 🤍

You are not alone in feeling alone, but it is up to you if you stay alone.

This 🤍

He is with us always and so our stories are always worth sharing.

So often I see people waiting for the happy ending to share what God has done in their life or situation.

But He’s in it either way.

The times in my life that haven’t gotten the happy endings…. I’ve still seen His goodness. That’s worth sharing also.

do not let the world fool you.

yes, as adults we have to be self-motivated and self-reliant in parts of our lives. we will no longer have someone holding our hand through every aspect of our lives.

but that does not mean we are meant to be isolated.

we are meant to be in relationship with others.

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Note to self.

I don’t know about you, but it often feels that just when I’m gaining momentum to tackle a new project or start something new, life comes in with a big ol roadblock and says….

“Psych!”

Thursday night I sat at the doctor with my son so of course, this momma is now sitting at the doctor Saturday morning.

I took an hour nap yesterday and slept almost 12 hours last night 😬 so to say my body is tired would be an understatement.

I used to get soo frustrated and disappointed with these roadblocks. They’d make me want to throw my hands up and wave the white flag, abandoning any goal I had in mind.

These days I still feel a twinge of disappointment but it’s often short lived.

This is life.

This is my cue to slow down.

This is my reminder that nothing is really in my control.

This minor roadblock is building resilience for bigger ones I know will come my way.

If you’re feeling the pressure to keep going and to push through when everything around you keeps telling you to slow down, maybe sister, it’s time to pump the breaks.

Likely, it’s not really the world telling you that you have to get everything done.

Likely it’s the person in the mirror.

Today was supposed to be my day.

After several busy days and a full house, today was supposed to be my day.

It was supposed to my day to sit in my office and finish work for the week without interruptions.

It was supposed to be my day to get caught up on housework.

It was supposed to be my day to sit down and hit record on my first interview for my podcast.

It was supposed to be my day.

And then, two swabs at the doctor’s office changed all that.

Today is no longer my day.

Today I’m at home with a kiddo, who’s still at an age that he requires a lot of one-on-one time.

Today my to-do list will have to sneak its way in between playing trains and Mickey Mouse shows.

Today my work will have the time limit of a mid-day nap.

Today my podcast will be placed on the back burner.

It’s funny. For the longest time I had a job that didn’t allow me to stay home with sick kids. Leaving them behind broke my heart every time.

And now, when I first learned today was no longer “my day,” all I could do was cringe and feel disappointed.

Then to top it off, there was the guilt I felt for being disappointed which only made things worse.

But today, sitting on the couch and holding hands while watching Mickey race his car with friends, I know I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

The truth is, this life is no longer my life.

These days are no longer my days.

It is a life I yearned for and in the thick of it, when things aren’t going according to plan, my human heart can take it all for granted.

But today in this moment, I’m so glad to be holding this hand that reminds me that today is not my day.

Grateful.
If this spoke to you, I believe my book, “The Gift of the Unexpected- Discovering Who You Were Meant to be When Life Goes Off Plan” will too: https://a.co/d/8Jz7yfC

To live with the reckless abandon of a child. 🤍