Ty.nonbinary

A lot has happened towards the end of the year.
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As many of you know our 2SLGBTQIA+ community continues to experience hate crimes. We have lost beautiful members in our community in multiple occasions, most recent one hitting close to home.
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My family + I have also endured a lot of change as well.
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Getting the news of being out of remission with my seizures, having them back, has triggered a flare up for my autoimmune disease as well.
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I’ll be having procedures on my back and neck done in hopes that I don’t loose mobility, again.
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I’ll be starting up physical therapy as well and have refused to take medications aside from my seizure meds, due to my recovery.
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This means, a lot of change.
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On top of it all, being diagnosed with arthritis on my neck is no fun.
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Invisible illnesses are real and look like me.
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I’ve been extremely overwhelmed by the state of the world all politically, spiritually, environmentally and personally.
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I’m grateful for every soul that’s shown up for our family and show support.
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I don’t see this as a moment of sadness though I do grieve, I find myself in spaces of curiosity to what’s to come and what more I will learn about this human form I’m in.
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Sooo, if you see me out, and I’m just not my typical self, know this is why. Know that I am re-learning my body and how to care for myself In this form.
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Random post, random share, to serve more as an update for my loved ones since posting sometimes is just an easier way to access all of y’all at once because, hi, I am overwhelmed.
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I love you all.
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***r

I will never forget the first latch when I realized my body is giving strength to another.
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Ever since then, chestfeeding had become my absolute favorite thing to do as a parent.
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It’s an unforgettable sensation.
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Due to life and me being epileptic, with my urge to take epilepsy medications, I have begun the weaning process.
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Rayé is now on the path to no longer receiving chest milk from me for safety purposes.
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I’m beyond sad. I’m grieving.
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It’s a feeling I won’t ever fully be able to explain but in simple terms it feels like I’m being robbed of an experience I wasn’t ready to end just yet.
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Everyone tells me it’s been long enough it’s fine.
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Nobody recognizes that with me, as a non-binary chestfeeding parent, I am breaking constructs and remembering my ancestral roots.
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I know Rayénari is beyond grateful and seeing their smile and looking into their eyes, I know it’ll be okay.
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The days have been challenging, it seems all abrupt but I am grateful for community support.
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Most importantly, I am grateful for a partner who is here to carry this weight with me as we maneuver through these life changes.
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Be gentle with your parent friends, you don’t know the struggles and heavy emotions they may be managing through.
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Triggers, traumas, overstimulation and the thought of parenting unlike their parents may have, is a lot.
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Check in on your parent friends and let them know you’re thinking of them. Maybe send them some money to treat themself.
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I’m so grateful I had the privilege to chestfeed with no issue for as long as I did. Now I slowly wean and separate this bond to strengthen our relationship in a whole different way.
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I love you .nonbinary and all I do is for the well-being of our family unit.
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***r

Happy Halloween + Día de Los Mu***os
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***r

I wish to be like a tree standing still with nowhere to be.
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Happy Birthday to my partner
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My desire for you is that you continue to be curious about who you are in this lifetime.
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I wish for you to discover new bits of who Tesha is and what makes her happy and full of joy, for that is all you deserve. Joy, love and peace.
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Thank you for the brilliance of who you are. Thank you for your breath, hard work, and will to keep learning.
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I’ve been honored to witness you in so many forms and hope to continue witnessing you to whatever degree the universe unfolds.
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With you, I remain open, always.
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I love you, the beauty of you, your soul, your heart, something deep.
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Happy birthday to you my dearest teammate, my lovely partner.
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I love you many moons and just as the reading said, I’ve loved you for many lifetimes.
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***r ***rfamily

I made it to the 8th year mark since my brain surgery.
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Though my seizures are back, I stay humbled for being without them for so long.
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Adapting to them again has been ruff but we are coping and managing through it.
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Did you know if I have a seizure, I wake up confused, lost and scared. It sometimes takes a minute to gather myself and come back into my body.
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I also have seizures while I’m awake and living life, it’s so odd.
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My brain just is like “glitch b*t$h” and I do.
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Don’t let my looks deceive you, I am definitely not fully fused together on the inside. 😂
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But for real, jokes aside, when I see people joking about them having a seizure as a prank, it triggers me because I hope they’ll never truly know what it’s like to live with such brain disorder.
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(It’s so odd that my brain surgeon looks as if we are related, I’ve always said he was an ancestor reincarnated to guide me through that phase of my life).
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Happy National Coming Out Day ❤️
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I’ve been Q***r since 1993
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So proud of my path that’s led me to where I am today. Unapologetically Q***r and Non-binary.
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***r

Happy Indigenous Peoples Day 🏃🏻
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Connecting, learning and remembering but forever Indigenous.
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One thing I’ve learned is that my people are hill/mountain runners. My mom grew up as a top runner in the state of Texas after moving from Mexico. She would run hills, mountains and was awfully good at it. To follow in those steps my sister and I also became runners and it was a sense of feeling at home, safe, something I miss deeply after being diagnosed and going through brain surgery.
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Even more of a cool fact, they would run these hills and mountains in sandals! Hand made sandals or barefoot!
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Now, witnessing Rayé and their early on love for running, my heart screams of joy.
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Happy Indigenous Peoples Day to those healing the land, themselves, their families, and who are working towards decolonizing this place.
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Maybe one day I will get the opportunity to go back to Motherland and learn a lot more intimately.
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***r

A photo dump.
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***r

Rayénari + Ba’wi // Sun + Water
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My safe place is wherever water lives & My heart follows wherever my Rayénari is.
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***rparents

The reason ☀️
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Rayénari Eliaquim just like your name you shine through the skies ❤️
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Te amo.
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***r

To reinvent yourself is to find yourself in the most vulnerable spaces, in front of a mirror, that’s shattered, and still be reminded the beauty you are regardless of the cracked mirror.
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The story of my scars all visible to the eye and absent to the eye, remind me of my beauty and resilience.
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I’m entering a phase where I no longer wish to be resilient. I wish to be gentle to be soft and to be witnessed in all of who I am without push back of not being enough.
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My path is marked and burden is called to be removed from my thought process for I am not that.
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I am like the ocean, my brain like the waves.
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I am and will reveal a way to live my life without disruptions regardless of my while balancing self-care and stress reduction.
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If you ever feel some kind of way around specific situations perhaps it’s the universe showing you where you need healing.
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I am taking back my power once again & it’s okay if I have to be reminded over and over again.
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I am my ancestors manifestations.
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I am here to heal.
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***r

Seizures force my world to stop.
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They remind me of what matters most in my world, Rayé, which in return reflects the significance I hold in this little one’s life.
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These seizures don’t hold me captive but they do navigate how I move some days.
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Going unconscious and then having to reboot my brain is a process.
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Today, on this Full moon period approaching, I ask my guides and the universe to watch upon my family and me. May the storm coming be one that leaves the soil wet enough for new life to grow.
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I don’t know what this means for me, for us, and what treatment will look like but my world is shook in a gentler way.
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It feels amazing having the tools now to work through what baggage my epilepsy may carry.
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I have not been okay lately and y’all may or may not know the extent of it all. Just know that I share this as a space for me to vent and let it out to feel less alone and bring awareness to the reality of what living with epilepsy is like.
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Send energy for my recovery period, please and thank you ❤️
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***r

A thread of what life has been like with a toddler.
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Also, HAPPY 1st Birthday to Rayé’s bestfriend Kai!
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Note: this is the happier, more fun side of it all. Don’t be fooled- we havent slept in days. Ok I’m exaggerating but for real we are sleeping less due to a sleep regression that Rayé is experiencing at the moment.
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Send food.
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***rfamily

I figured it was time to bring these images back from a shoot I was asked to do for a project with
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The concept was vulnerability and having it be captured.
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Did you know as someone experiencing epilepsy I struggle with memory loss, imbalance, starring, stuttering, muscle fatigue, high pain levels, shocking sensations, unknown mood swings of anger, sadness and irritability. I experience forgetfulness, stiffness, being lethargic, and so on.
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I also have freeze moments where I have to stop everything I’m doing and sit down before I fall ala an aura.
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Did you also know experiencing epilepsy means constant thought of “when will the seizure that ends it all happen?”
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It’s so easy to fall into these spiraling thoughts and feed into the emotions. The hardest thing is being aware they are here and grounding myself during these episodes.
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If you didn’t know now you do.
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All I hope is that every second is full, honest and pure. That my body fights this with grace and that if I need surgery again, my guides will continue to be with me.
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I never thought I’d have to fight this again, but who was I kidding? One day I hope I get to say I’m not epileptic anymore but until then I remember the battles of my ancestors.
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If you know someone with epilepsy/seizures, inform yourself on how to be aware of their individual symptoms and how to be of support.
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It’s also complex and always changing so remain fluid and open.
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***r

Everything stands in comparison to me.
From the reflection of the mirror, to that puddle I walked in after seeing my reflection in it on the streets. Emerged by statistical, factual data bases, you were all I ever really craved. Insanity wasn’t declared until I found myself seeking for you in all the wrong places.
I hold everything to standards of what I am familiar with. Reaching out to grab my hand, there you stood....
slip, slip, slipping away, it was never you, maybe it was fate.
I find it much easier to write about dark places, familiar faces and all the scary traces of misunderstood love and uncompleted promises.
I find myself pacing from side to side, because for once in my life, none of the above applies.

For I turn around at night, I happened to open my eyes, and there you lie.
There your eyes remain shut as you rest your soul, you’re covered in light.

Is it really my demons who are taking over?

Or am I finally feeling,
In control and have no idea how to just,
Let go....

But however this poem may end, I just want you to know, I love you and who I’ve become because of you.

I rehearse this to a mirror as I witness the floor demolishing beneath my feet.
My world collided into huge success with extreme defeat.
My child lies there peaceful at night, my biggest accomplishment, my star so bright.
Awakened the beast that lives in me, like malfunctioned hardware, the seizures are here to shake up our worlds and give us a scare.

But I remind myself that I am an awakened dream flowing through the stream of consciousness. My world will be full of love and pure bliss.
***r

See yourself as a plant I’ll go first…
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***r

They swayed from her to him but was always them to themself.
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The worlds translation of what’s masculine and feminine blurred into a wild rose picked in the middle of the forest.
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They were movement flowing through quantum space time, moving energy, fluid as if there’s no line.
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Never belittled yet forever unknown, the awakening to a soul that’s been hurt and done. The ache of a heartbeat as the drums, drum drum drum, a rhythm and a melody, the awakening of all, a surrender to a force that’s not big, not small. Neither him, hers but only theirs, a magical beauty that knows no limits, forever speaking of a time beyond those who are timid.
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Awakening to a power much greater than a rhyme, when they see themself in the mirror they witness nothing but pure beauty and pure divine.
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📸:
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***r

Damn- what a time to be alive.
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Also

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***r

CW:
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As a young teen- my body has already undergone immense forms of trauma.
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I don’t remember majority of it, just that part of “coming to” and that first breath back.
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I never understood why my sternum was always so hurt for the following weeks after an episode of cluster and grand mal seizures.
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Deep breaths, were only half breaths. Laughs were never powerful enough because it hurt.
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Fast forward to two weeks ago, I’ve been hurting from my sternum again.
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It’s as if I had fallen into an episode, I don’t remember and then I woke up and bam here I am. Except I didn’t.
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I began an at home yoga practice of opening up my chest every morning through stretching.
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I never realized the trauma that would be triggered through that and the impact it is having on my self growth and healing path.
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My sternum, has been my awakening and re-awakening from this life to the next.
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My sternum has been my charge of energy field that became over used as time went by. Leaving now a scar.
I have a line down my sternum through my heart.
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That was my path to this life.
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You see, this discomfort I am feeling again, years later, is my reminder of how far I’ve come and to not close my chest, my heart to the cruel of the world for within it lies deep beauty.
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It’s an act of courage to exist In a world like todays when you experience Near Death experiences.
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It takes the ability to remove fear from negativity and use it as a fuel to power love and harmony, grace.
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Don’t take this moment for granted. Be grateful every breath you have because if you’re anything like me, your eyes can close and never open until someone near by knows that the spot is the sternum to ignite your fire again.
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Note: stimulation of the sternum is done by those experienced to bring unconscious souls back to their bodies. It’s typically practiced when there are no other forms of charge to support that journey.
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I am no medical professional, just a lived experience body. I do not recommend stimulating the sternum at home.
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***r

# ***r

Therapy for my mental health with a professional and then therapy for my soul with the one and only, Mama Tierra.
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Being outdoors, with Rayé, is a reality I know I have lived in other lifetimes. We seem to connect deeper when we are outside in nature.
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***r

Damn—-
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For me, it feels as if it was just yesterday that I embarked on my first life transformative moment, Brain surgery.
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I wasn’t suppose to make it this far.
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I had all odds against me, yet here I am.
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Eleventh re-birthday.
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I like to tell people when I throw tantrums that they’re moments I didn’t get to have when I was younger because I was not well.
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is never-ending.
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To this day, needing to be hyper aware of my body is a survival technique I’ve learned to assure my safety from life itself.
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I like to think that is Epileptics are sensitive to EVERYTHING around us.
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I feel it all intensely due to my need to know how I feel, for survival.
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Heightened senses, often. So to speak.
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Buuut even then, one never knows. Seizures can come at anytime and change your life even more, or take it.
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Therefore, I live every day as if it were my last.
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Today, July 20, 2022- I celebrate 11 years of surviving brain surgery.
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(I also like to think then is when I was abducted by aliens and given a new soul to report back to them about human behavior because I’m definitely a different being now) but that’s a conspiracy.
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I’m proud I’ve made it this far. Epilepsy is no joke, seizures are no joke and if you’re someone who pretends to jerk for humor that’s not cool.
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Some of us have ticks and jerk movements we can’t control always.
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Happy 11th to my brain and I.
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Thank you to those who have been apart of my journey since day 1 and to those who entered in a later phase.
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***r

Finding your focal point is key in life.
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Mine has always been to shift the narrative, perspective and to live authentically.
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I know I haven’t stepped into the fullness of who Ty is but I do know that I’m getting closer and closer each day.
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Being able to understand when one steps into their fullness is through seeing yourself in situations of the past with higher self response.
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Now, the higher and lower self mindset can become toxic if used freely.
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The lower self is valid in what comes up in certain environments and how you honor, validate and see that is a key component working hand in hand with the higher version of you.
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It isn’t the “idgaf” mindset that gets one by. It’s the level of awareness of the self WITHIN spaces that are socially constructed to judge, while acknowledging the pain, suffering, lack of awareness and still unapologetically, courageously showing up and being unconditional in your actions and words.
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Allow others to exist on their journey and trust that if youre meant to influence, shift and change the people around you, you will by solely existing in your fullness.
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And yet that is a never ending journey but is in fact a forever transitioning one.
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Love you and them in all the shapes 🌱👁👽
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***r

Non-binary and proud.
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As a Zaza, a Non-Binary Parent, I am finding myself more and more comfortable with expression in it’s entirety.
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From dresses, to pants, sweats and skirts, I am finding confidence in everything that I choose to wear and feel identifies my form of expression for the day.
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My pronouns are they/them and I don’t fit into any other pronouns regardless of how I dress on whatever day.
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I love you for loving and supporting my journey and if you’ve found my page and have learned a thing or two from it, then I’m grateful we crossed paths.
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All I ever want is for the world to catch up.
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The world must understand the beauty in allowing fullness of individuals to exist simultaneously.
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You are magic and I am magic.
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I am so honored to witness you.
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Happy Non-Binary Peoples Day!
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***r nonbinarypeoplesday

Hey especially please head over to Spiritual Wellness] & give a follow.
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The very first Pride Nite is coming in strong with our hosts
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🌱sound bath by
🌱gentle movement by Spiritual Wellness]
🌱Usui Reiki by
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We are stoked to continue on the Pride celebrations and promote wellness and healing to the community.
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Here you will find a safe space to relax, release and grow.
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You may find the link in my bio to purchase your ticket today.
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Hope to see you there ❤️👽🌱
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When: July 30th
Time: 6-8pm
Cost: $40.00
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Hey especially please head over to Spiritual Wellness] & give a follow.
•
The very first Pride Nite is coming in strong with our hosts
•sound bath by
•gentle movement by Spiritual Wellness]
•Usui Reiki by
•
We are stoked to continue on the Pride celebrations and promote wellness and healing to the community.
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Here you will find a safe space to relax, release and grow.
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You may find the link in my bio to purchase your ticket today.
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Hope to see you there ❤️👽🌱
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As someone who moves energy~
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I am finally in a space where I find myself able and willing to give my food, water and environment energy boosts before stepping fully into them.
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This morning as I was prepping for for .nonbinary I started our words of affirmation and prayers, then I charged up and placed my hands over their food and distributed energy that will uplift and enhance, heal, mend and love Rayé internally as they digest the food.
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As they say better late than never.
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It’s important for someone like myself to be reminded of the ground and dirt to bring it in and perform these tasks for my family and myself.
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You must be mindful in all that you do.
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Think before speaking.
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Take a pause, a deep breath, before acting.
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Show gratitude and give energy exchange.
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***r ***rparent

I’m in this time of my life where the glass seems to be breaking but in reality, the dirt is just getting cleaned up.
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I haven’t celebrated my 29th birthday yet—
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It’s been one event after the other after the other.
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To be Frank, Cancer szn has me in a choke hold.
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The only thing I kind of know how to do right now is not hold my breath, embrace the discomfort and flow with the wind.
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I am learning big, major life lessons that seems you are to learn around this age.
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I’m looking forward to the endless shed to release and for my 30’s to be my hot theybie time.
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I’ll be back with so much newness to share but I feel a huge hibernation mode coming into play.
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Soo, if I take long to respond, I don’t answer emails, texts or calls, don’t take it personal.
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I’m refocusing back to me and reminding myself of my magic, power and most importantly boundaries.
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And well, I also need to look at some trauma that has been buried deep away. Who doesn’t tho?
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How did y’all experience your last year in your 20’s? To those who have already hit 29 of course. Drop your experience in the comments, I’m curious.
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***r

Oh the stories you’ll tell from the places you’ve seen.
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On our flight back to , we were asked if this was Rayé’s first flight in which we proudly answered, no.
•nonbinary is only practicing on how to travel.
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The funnest times have yet to come with the biggest adventures we will ever embark on.
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In the meantime, I enjoy taking lovely photos of how much you love to soak it all in and be curious of your environment.
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I love you beyond worlds and realms of existence.
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A love that leads to no path for it’s eternal, I’m forever honored to be a guide for you throughout this lifetime.
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Here are photos of Rayé from our trip to San Elizario, TX.
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More on this trip to come.
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***r ***rfamily