The Other Side

Finding #therealyou is often a hard and painful process 💔. It requires digging into hurtful #relationships and #experiences. But if you want your life to #change #stayinthefight 🥊 You'll get #totheotherside and it'll be worth it! #mentalhealth #therapy #authenticity #therealme #cptsd #conditioning #emotionalabuse #thework

isn't about one person fixing the other; it's about the and authentic emergence of everyone in the .

In spite of our own perceptions, we begin to develop significant over our own lives after childhood. With that agency comes the ability to enforce with ourselves and others.

When we fail to listen to our most authentic self, we often miss opportunities to erect and enforce these boundaries, which causes a significant amount of . This can happen for a number of reasons, and the bottom line is that if we fail to get ahold of this truth and develop the skills to use it, we will constantly be in pain.

Hiding doesn't fix it, addiction doesn't fix it, new relationships won't fix it, but , , and can. Be . Dare to take the driver's seat in your life.

When going through the process, one of the most challenging aspects is starting over with a new lesson.

Oftentimes it can seem like a setback, and make you think that you haven't made much at all.

In reality, you've come a long way; and this new starting line is a new opportunity to master, heal from, or overcome another .

When you reach your next starting line, approach it with optimism and hope knowing that you've been here before, and you'll be here again.

LET'S GO! 🏁🏆

We're constantly , for better or worse, in every area of our lives. We get to decide which direction our goes in.

When we decide to change for the better, we're meet with a test of our will and determination. Commitment to change requires to overcome our own limitations to see better days.

Change is you've just gotta fight for it and

If we want to our lives for the better we must exert against our own , , and that have locked us in the place where we find ourselves.

is not all that unfair, it's doing what it does to us all. To achieve change we'll need to resist the temptation to back down, and instead past our own way of being. Our must be greater than our level of .

To do this you MUST know that there is something on

Let's normalize leaning into our over relying on random facts to navigate our lives.

Folks will ignore every internal cue to run away from a situation in favor of thoughts of because of something as random as "he shares my daddy's birthday" 🥴. Coincidence can be interesting, but not much more; use them as conversing starters, not your .

Many of us are experiencing the same and we're accepting it as our lot in life; when the reality is that we're being driven to those patterns and it's within our to break them.

We all have some of them benefit us, and others do not. Those that do not are typically responsible for the we experience in our lives. If you want to break patterns do the work of examining those drivers... is a good place to start. 💙

Just a friendly reminder...

Like a broken bone that must be isolated to , requires us to tackle the line share of our difficult past alone. At times, can be downright painful, and we may be tempted to quit but don't give up.

A brighter reality exists on . As you acknowledge, accept, and process your history and confront the resulting maladaptive behaviors, you break from the invisible chains that held you captive.

You've got this!

isn't always or ; in fact, it often begins with subtle and flattering statements and suggestions that attempt to relax your resolve.

If you find yourself veering off of the path you've chosen, take a beat so you can better determine if you've had a change of heart or if you're being convinced to do so from external influences.

Many of us fail to take care of ourselves in the face of others because we don't want to be perceived as rude or offensive, meanwhile we allow ourselves to be wronged by the offense of others.

Standing for yourself is neither rude nor offensive, it's a form of . When we disregard the offended of others we heat up a volcano that can be difficult to contain when it erupts, so it's important to manage it prior to it reaching that point.

If being the means setting healthy and maintaining for yourself, be the bad guy every time!

It may seem effective to others to , but change that doesn't come from within is only temporary.

If it's not in you, it's not coming out of you...for long.

Other's reactions to us is about them not about us. Sure, there are times when we behave rudely or offensively and need to own it, but when others find us rude or offensive, it's ultimately about their own .

Instead of focusing on the of others, it better serves us to attend to our own triggers so that we can uncover the areas of our lives that need .

When we first meet someone, we're both presenting our best selves. Over time, we relax and settle into who we really are. In the meantime, some people work overtime to prove to you that you're special and that you're somehow exempt from their treatment of others.

The reality is that while we're all unique, none of us are special. We can be just one unwanted comment or disagreement away from seeing the ugly side of someone.

Abusive people are well versed in luring their target in with niceties so that they're locked in for their . Pay attention to the character of others before attachment develops, and it becomes more difficult to walk away.

Pay attention to how you show up with people. Safe spaces are places where you can relax and be yourself. On the other hand, when you find yourself monitoring yourself and making adjustments for the comfort of others, you're in hostile territory.

Make it a point to spend time in safe space.

Being flexible is cool, but many people will try to bend you so far that they break you...then they're off to their next victim.

It's great to be kind, loving, gentle, giving, and compassionate, but be all of those things to yourself FIRST, then sprinkle in a little .

We all have an innate desire to be in with others. However, it's important to remember that not everyone is for us.

The ability to be accepted as you are is an indication that there may be a safe space for you. On the other hand, bending and folding yourself ( ) into the box of others as a means of is a good sign that you may need to walk away.

Be courageous, be you!

Sticking our heads in the sand on issues doesn't make them go away; in fact, it can possibly exacerbate them. When we ignore difficult topics, they often fester and result in as we pass down what we haven't dealt with within ourselves.

the realities of our past doesn't make them okay; it simply says "this happened". When we acknowledge what has happened to us, we open the door for .

It's nice when people affirm what you already know about yourself, but that doesn't make them a shoe-in for meaningful connection; it means they're observant.

know who you are, and they'll acknowledge it. This, however, doesn't mean that they'll value you.

Resist the temptation to enter into simply because people acknowledge you; instead, take the time to evaluate the character of others to determine if you align.

Interaction is foundational to relationships; it creates the space for bonds to be created from which springs. Interactions meet our emotional needs and are the basis upon which become meaningful. Transactions primarily meet our physical needs and provide some instant gratification of emotional needs.

In the beginning stages of a relationship (parent-child, platonic, romantic), the greater emphasis should be placed on positive . Transactions are the icing on a well-baked cake.

Children aren't the only ones who act out; adults do it every day. Adult acting out, however, tends to reach further and hurt more people, including the one acting out.

People often struggle to develop healthy human bonds when none were established in their childhood. As adults, we'll make every attempt to fill that void, even if it hurts us or others in the process. Meaningful human connection is essential for sound , and it's also a sign of sound mental health.

Digging into the challenges you're having today will often lead down a trail to your yesterday.

Sometimes we can want something so badly that we breeze past the 🚩🚩🚩 telling us to go at it another way.

The reality is that happen in our sleep, and fairytales are written in books. Anything worth having requires work and patience. While we can have what we want, let's remain conscious of not sacrificing ourselves in the process of obtaining it.

Finding yourself in a position where your child is subjected to by their other parent can be distressing, so having a clear head and a plan is imperative.

It can be tempting to react to the other parent's abuse, but focus your energy on parenting your child and helping them to develop their own sense of worth. Attend to their needs and validate their feelings. And while it's a good idea to validate their experiences with the other parent (because you can identify with it), resist the temptation to bash them.

Our ancestors needed to deny their feelings to survive the of slavery, but we no longer have to. As we work to further our progress as a people, let us not neglect our personal growth by way of our and needs.

is not just about those in our past, but it's about us, right now in the . In order to reach we must tend to our

Respectfully

Sometimes as parents we become frustrated with our children's cries, simply because we don't understand them, they don't resonate with us. But punishing kids when they express only teaches them to disconnect from themselves, from their own feelings.

What do you want when you cry, or you're upset? Let's give that to our in hopes that they'll grow to be adults with good .

Because is the breeding ground for in the future.

If you knew the stress and strain that people are enduring to leave bad , you'd take better care of your from the beginning.

Trust me, being alone is much better than engaging in bad relationships. Pay attention to the , they're there to keep you safe. is not worth those types of risks

Many times in the truth about infidelity or some other indiscretion won't be packaged in a bow for you to receive. You'll have that gut feeling, and depending on the level of commitment, that's all you need.

Truthfully, the were likely there all along, and you ignored them because you didn't have . because it can be more complicated to walk away after the relationship progresses.