Walking America Couple

Pulled my insoles out for the first time since the Dakotas after noticing quite the pit where the ball of my foot rests! It’s amazing the wear and tear from walking just a couple of states! Can you imagine how our feet usually feel? …about how the footwear looks 😂

We were in the local paper in Moffit! You guys remember the Mittleiders? We do! They were so sweet! They entrusted us with their house, shared stories and videos of derbying, and even reached out to assist us after they saw we had run into some dolly issues on the side of the road! What a great reminder of these awesome friends we made 😊

It’s hard to imagine how many thousands of hands we’ve shaken and how different the mind extending the hand was at the beginning. I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’ve changed throughout the course of the walk, hoping to steer myself toward more genuine interaction and authenticity.
The adaptive process occurs in every area of life, including in conversation. Our minds seek efficiency, and because we’re often asked the same questions, we give the same answers and tell the same stories repeatedly—gradually developing a certain structure. If you’ve ever worked at a job where you had to convey the same information repeatedly, your responses likely became automatic too. It’s almost expected when you’re behind a name tag or in uniform; you don’t necessarily want to feel like it’s the professional’s first time. But it can also carry the scent of disingenuousness or disinterest.
The problem goes deeper, though. This same conversational adaptation happens within families: the “I love you”s over the phone, responses to children’s whys, passive-aggressive comments about the things our partners do that annoy us, a limited exploration of ideas when there are topics everyone gravitates toward, and much more. The most remarkable expression of this habit comes in the form of someone we’ve all likely met—the person whose conversational range only spans a few ultra-common topics, like food, local or familial gossip, popular TV shows, and simple external changes (new purchases, needed repairs, chores, the weather, etc.).
Over time, if we don’t keep this inclination in check, we can turn into mere caricatures of our former selves, predictable and superficially limited. This autopilot form of interaction is as far from what we hope to deliver as the Walking America Couple as anything could be. The solution?
Be fully present.

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You might all be wondering what Paige has been up to while I’m at work on the dolly and social media! Paige has been painstakingly plotting our route for the next segment over the last several days, mapping every mile to make sure we have safe shoulders or lightly trafficked roads, as well as marking resupply points and towns along the way. I think she’s almost done, but no announcement of our next state(s) until we’re all settled and completely certain! What could they be? Where will the Walking America Couple go next? And will Torin and Paige get out of Missouri before conformity swallows them whole? Stay tuned for all this and more on the next episode of Trying Not to Get Hit by a Car While Walking Directly into Traffic!😛

We were in Webster’s Reporter & Farmer back in South Dakota! Love the piece guys, thanks for shining a light on our purpose 😊

It is too often overlooked that love is cultivated. It is not enough to love what you are inclined to love when you can shape your mind to nurture love. Since you can learn to love, learn to love everybody.

We’re back after a two-week vacation! And you know what? I don’t know if I feel all that mentally vacationed. Actually, I feel like most of my vacation was spent running from social media, running from the walk, and doing only the things I wanted to do, rather than those that might have been healthiest for me. It’s so easy to get this idea in your head that you owe it to yourself to be naughty while you can, but the only things that actually result in mental well-being are the same things that always have! 🤦‍♂️
Mental exercise is so much like physical exercise. Yeah, it’s never all that fun, and you often fantasize about not doing it more than you probably even do it. Exercise hurts, but if you don’t do it, you’ll start to hurt anyway, just in a different way. Whereas if you do it, it might hurt, but you’ll feel better about yourself for doing it, and in time be made far more capable and content than if you hadn’t done it. If you’re going to suffer either way, at least suffer toward something better.
Now I’m just fat and off-kilter, craving crisp, cold Hamm’s before bed. I suppose, in a way, this can be looked at as beneficial. I saw this personal trainer once who gained 60 lbs in order to lose it so he could empathize with his clients and share their same journey. It might honestly be easier to get sucked into the dark worldview from the couch’s vantage point in a couple of weeks than to gain 60 lbs, if you ask me. But like I said, maybe this is good, not only for me but for us—everyone here with the Walking America Couple. We can never lose the perspective of the people we hope to help.
Since we hope to help people elevate virtue over vice… does that mean I should go grab a cold one?

What is the greatest source of the world’s problems? We do not lack the desire to do good so much as we lack the willingness to let go of our other desires. Therefore, if we would like to create a better world—a more ethical, compassionate, and selfless world—we must inculcate a dispassionate view of our desires. It is well within our capacity to act toward something greater, even if we don’t feel the urge to.
Desire is highly motivational, however, so directing ourselves toward something greater is made easier by developing the desire to do so. But we must be careful that desire itself never plays the role of guide. We should think of it as the fuel which propels us forward, while the map is charted by something far more objective—our all-pervading awareness. While desire, when cultivated and refined, can contribute to positive action, it is crucial that it remains a servant, not the master.
If we are to turn our attention inward, it should not be as our inner monologue, the voice inside our head, but as the witness to the voice inside our head. In contemporary psychology, “metacognition” is probably best used to describe the state I’m referring to, but you can continue to peel back the internal layers until you reach something even more profound and capable. This state has been described by several names: the transcendental ego, the atman, phenomenological awareness, or my preferred nomenclature—the observer.
This observer is a space devoid of personhood, preference, and conditioning, and for that reason, best suited to be the non-biased position from which to make determinations. From here, a person will see that desire almost always leads us toward those things which are not best suited to our well-being, whether it’s consuming something unhealthy (from food to information) or pursuing the wrong priorities. It is far easier to tell what brings true fulfillment, joy, and contentment from the standpoint of the observer.
If we would start training ourselves to act from this space, rather than toward the object of our desire—a near meaningless sliver of our conscious experience, fleeting and shallow compared to the enduring peace of awareness—we would see that those pursuits are leading us, not only to a future damnation, but can lead us to inhabit our own current hell. Heaven exists in the absence of desire, not in the pursuit of its fulfillment. Heaven is here among us—we need only let go of the things which drag us down to hell.

The greatest expression of love is self sacrifice, and this is what makes love the most powerful force in the world. Selfless love is undefeatable, for there is no desire to entice, no judgment to discriminate, and no self to motivate against it.

I inhabited such a miserable mind in my early adulthood. People would say to me, “Just think happy thoughts.” “That’s ridiculous,” I would reply. “If I could think happy thoughts, I wouldn’t be in the miserable state that I am.”
The mind isn’t so simple. If we want to improve the quality of our thoughts, we have to employ a little subversion. So, I’ve compiled a short list of questions you can use to clean up your conscious space.
1. The task of psychological cleanup is continuous, especially in our society, where you can’t walk into a store without being bombarded by disruptive and emotive music. Make it a habit to constantly ask yourself, “Are my thoughts useful? How are they behaving?” This will allow you to better moderate the contents of consciousness.
2. In considering their behavior, it’s useful to ask yourself, “Would I be happy to put these thoughts on display for the world to see? If not, what sort of thoughts would I be proud for everyone to see?”
3. To reprioritize your moment-to-moment concerns, ask, “What if I were going to die by the end of today? What if I were going to die within the hour? What if these were my last five minutes?”
4. Constantly ask yourself, “Is this something that is within my control?” If it isn’t, it is likely a waste of concern.
5. Finally, if you feel stuck perseverating or ruminating, ask yourself, “What is the next thought I am going to think?” For most people, this results in a brief moment of silence, but at the very least, it will pull you into an observational space from which you can apply these tactics accordingly.

Some days it’s incredibly difficult for us to pull ourselves out of negativity. When you’ve been run off the road a dozen times under a 90 degree sun while getting eaten alive by bugs, it can be hard to find that positive outlook. But just as important as finding your way to an uplifting perspective are your beliefs about your perspective! Without the right opinion of it, it can be impossible to find your way to a better one.
Negative thoughts are a part of the human experience. Within this life we will likely never be able to rid ourselves of them entirely. However, we can still envision an optimal state of mind which can be used to inform our understanding of our perspective.
This optimal state of mind remains unattached to those things which are certainly outside of its control (everything external to itself, such as the opinions of others) and prioritizes regulation over those things which belong to it, such as its own opinion and reaction. Similarly, this state of mind has the ability to reinterpret any seemingly negative circumstance in a productive and positive way. It can do this based on various rationales:
•The interdependence of opposites. We lack the ability to appreciate the things we enjoy without the contrast of those things which we dislike. E.g. Wealth means little-to-nothing without poverty, and life lacks the same meaning without death.
•Transforming adversity into advantage. There is always a way to see difficulty and challenge as a means of personal growth, even if it is only an opportunity to undergo the kind of hardship that will serve as a reference point for future hardship, causing future trials to appear comparatively less extreme.
•And finally, though possibly most importantly, the belief that there always exists a line of reasoning which can be used to positively and productively interpret any potential circumstance. It’s a bit of a catch 22, but without the belief that you can, you will lack the ability to do so. To inculcate this belief, you simply practice finding that reasoning and training your perspective. Enough success, and that belief will start to take root.
From this framework, negativity takes on new form. We often blame our circumstances or those around us, rather than placing the responsibility on ourselves. And although we should remain kind and understanding of ourselves, when we’re feeling sad, angry, or stressed, we should, instead, see that as an expression of our failure to find the right outlook, and search for ways to reorient our perspective.

Lean into discomfort. Muscles grow stronger, and so does the mind. Does something make you anxious, nervous or scared? Face it repeatedly, and fear dissolves.

What are you striving for, weary soul? Why hope for your story to echo through time, if it be through the lips of the distempered? Will it not all come to nothing? Their judgments are fickle, delivered out of caprice. Their loyalty is fleeting, even to the steadfast. Who among the sincere will search for truth untainted by the whims of popular opinion? Everything will be undone—by time, by indifference, by the stage on which change plays its role. So if you must exhaust yourself, do so in pursuit of the highest good. And if you must bear a burden, let it be for that end. True meaning under the sun is scarce; where can it be found to be intrinsic? If such a thing exists, it lies beyond the loftiest virtue. Never seek to be remembered in fame, but in the ripple of good that follows you.

We do not measure the value of life by intelligence, desire, or control. Despite spending our lives developing those qualities, we value others more. The lives of children are considered especially sacred. Children are curious, simple, innocent, and malleable. Be childlike.

Being back home, Paige and I have finally found time to consume more information that keeps our minds in check. More specifically, we’ve had time to read materials that foster healthier thoughts.
The challenge with the phrase “developing healthier thoughts” is its abstractness; who can be motivated to pursue it? Unlike an exercise program with before-and-after pictures, mental training lacks tangible representation—though it’s part of what we hope to demonstrate by walking the country.
There’s a better way to think about it! Words are powerful tools for navigating our experiences. For example, consider driving a car. While you won’t become proficient through reading alone, you can learn the basics before ever getting behind the wheel. In fact, you can learn almost anything through reading. If words can teach us to drive, build, or improve relationships, why don’t we give them more credit for helping us cultivate healthier thoughts?
If you had never seen a car before and someone simply told you to “figure out how to drive it,” it would feel like a monumental task. You don’t know what you don’t know, leading to random attempts until something works. But with a book on driving, you could probably drive off in under an hour. The same applies to thought; exposure to new ideas can fundamentally change your perspective. Here are a few thoughts that, once encountered, changed our lives forever:

•True freedom is found internally. We lack control over external factors like property, bodies, or others. As long as we cling to what’s outside our control, we remain unfree. However, we can govern our internal landscape—our opinions, beliefs, and perspectives. Learning to manage these can be challenging, especially as they often intertwine with our environment, but our internal experience is the only true possession we have. This concept is known as the Dichotomy of Control.

•Our reference points shape our perspective. Your view of fitness, for example, shifts depending on whether you’re surrounded by fit or unfit communities. In an unfit community, you may feel adequately fit, while in a fit community, you might feel inadequate. The same applies to wealth, status, habits, and other qualities.

•Challenges can either be seen as obstacles to avoid or opportunities for growth. Recognizing that we can’t strengthen without resistance allows us to embrace difficulties instead of being defeated by them.

•The story we tell ourselves shapes our experience. Even when it’s difficult to find a different perspective, alternative ways to view a situation always exist. It’s more beneficial to take personal responsibility by saying, “I might lack a positive perspective now, but there’s always a better way to look at this,” than to believe—without evidence—that no other perspective is possible. This is known as cognitive reframing, which encompasses all the ideas mentioned.

These surface-level breakdowns of helpful thoughts reflect what has changed our lives, but, like driving, a brief overview won’t lead to proficiency. Just as practice makes perfect behind the wheel, these thoughts can become automatic, just as steering and working the pedals eventually require little conscious effort.

Man was born unto a world of gods, enveloped in the warmth of love. Everywhere he looked, he found himself reflected in the divine. Desire was all that differentiated him from his godly peers, but they embraced him as their kin nonetheless. Growing restless, man sought to set himself apart. “Perhaps beyond bliss,” he thought, “I will find something greater still.” And so, he began to wander.
He journeyed to the world of Brahman, where the universe itself was woven with divine unification. But he grew restless again, for the oneness overwhelmed him, and he could not distinguish himself within unity.
He wandered further, to the world of the Tao, where all things flowed in perfect harmony. Yet he felt dragged by the flow, and, yearning to stop and be known, desired to make himself a crag among water.
He traveled to the world of the Buddha, where peace reigned and all suffering was left behind. But in this stillness, he longed for passion and meaning, which his enlightenment eroded.
Desperate, he sought out the world of Christ, seeking salvation from his growing despair. The hands of compassion reached out to him, but, ever opportunistic, he stole what he could—all but the spirit of God. He had wandered too far from the love that once anchored him.
Man, now estranged from the gods, retreated to the material world. “I shall find solace in solitude,” he told himself. “I will build a world of my own making.” He closed his eyes to divinity by binding himself in illusion. He bound himself by sight. He bound himself by hearing, taste, touch, and smell. He bound himself by concepts. He bound himself by emotion. And he twisted all into delusion.
His heart, once a vessel of divine love, grew heavy with bitterness and grief. The heavens, though still full of light, could no longer be seen.
In the end, man stood alone, having lost not only the gods but himself. In the empty silence, he looked upon his watery reflection and saw nothing but shadow. He had cut himself off from all that was sacred, and in doing so, lost the love that nourishes life.

To overcome the fear of death, you must overcome the love of self. To do that, you must experience the peace of selflessness.

What do you see when you imagine the world you want to live in? What would an ideal world look like? How do we find our way there? And what will it cost to get there?
When we imagine it, we see a world where the qualities that allow us to move beyond our differences are woven into the fabric of society. Here are some qualities that might help:

• Realizing that offense is of our own making, not the would-be offender’s. It’s internal work, but there are ways to train your perspective so that you don’t feel harmed by the judgments of others. As Marcus Aurelius once said, “Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.” It puts the power back in our hands, showing that taking offense is within our control. With the right perspective, we don’t have to give anyone that power over us. There’s no way we’d be able to do the walk if we hadn’t gotten over our sensitivities. Taking responsibility for our responses has allowed us to make friends with nearly every kind of person.

• Basing our value judgments on long-term satisfaction instead of immediate gratification, and learning to accept some initial discomfort in exchange for lasting value. For example: prioritizing community activities over individual desires, reading over watching, or taking a job that pays less but gives you more time with family.

• An appreciation for the differences in the world. Imagining a world where everyone is the same is pretty uninspiring and uninteresting, if you ask us. We don’t have to agree with everything someone else does to remain open to learning from them. Rather than meeting people with the proverbial sword and shield, we can meet them with open curiosity, excitement, and a healthy appreciation of our own ignorance.

Like any qualities people exhibit, these can be infectious. If we adopt the right traits, we will influence the people around us to be more fulfilled and understanding by example alone.

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God was born unto a godless world, but knew not whence they came. They traveled far and wide, but did not find themselves. They traveled further, to the world of the Buddha, but did not find themselves. They traveled further, to the world of the Tao, but did not find themselves. They traveled further, to the world of Brahman, but did not find themselves. They traveled further yet, to the world of the Christ, but they still could not find themselves.
God decided it was time to leave the world of worlds, and retreated to the wilderness to die. They sat under a tree and waited for Time to take them. “I will stand still for you and only you, my Lord,” Time said to God. “I do not know you. Take me away,” God demanded. But time remained still. God decided to seek out their Adversary, “For surely the Evil One will end my life,” God said. “I shall not commit myself to death,” the Adversary replied, “You are my only companion, and you will not find a willing soul.” But again, God replied, “I do not know you!” and retreated deeper into the wilderness.
“This is where I shall do it,” God said to themselves, “This is where I shall divide myself until I am no more.” God began by removing sight. Then God removed hearing, feeling, and the rest of sensation. Then emotion, belief, and the final portions of mind. As the last pieces fell, their true nature became manifest for the first time, and they returned to the world of worlds with the face of love.

If you knew you were going to die in a moment, you would savor this very moment. But you could die at any moment, so savor every moment.

I am a man among animals. I am an animal among men.
I am a stranger in a forsaken land. I am at home in a world of friends.
I am a lost wanderer, who’s found their way in wandering. I am a found soul, who’s extended their hand to a lost world.
I am a prisoner, fettered by my search for freedom. I am made free by accepting my captivity.
I am created from that which I see, and that which I see is created within.
I am the divine, walking about a material world. I am but dirt, walking about the divine’s world.
My Self is enshrouded—consumed by myself—yet my Self remains all that I am.
Desire is only conquered if one desires to conquer it, yet in desiring desirelessness, desire is fed.

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