Fabio Sanchez Canales

Look for the good, grow, build your path and 😊

Hey guys!

I was working on my life coach qualification this afternoon and had to answer a seemingly boring question:

“What are the stages of the Kubler-Ross Change Curve and how can they be used in coaching? (Provide an example)”
So, as I started writing the answer I found a way to make this more enjoyable and impactful by storytelling and turning it into 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩.

This is a story about a guy called Fred and his coach called Fabio. Freddy finds himself in a crazy scary situation and he works together with Fabio to overcome his fears and …. I’ll stop spoiling.
Read on if you’re interested 😊 Beware the plot twist at the end xD

𝙊𝙠 𝙨𝙤 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙄 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙘𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙘 𝙨𝙩𝙮𝙡𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙆𝙪𝙗𝙡𝙚𝙧 𝙍𝙤𝙨𝙨 𝘾𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚 𝘾𝙪𝙧𝙫𝙚…

The Kubler-Ross Change Curve explains the 7 stages that people go through when faced with change:
1. Shock – Things seem out of control, you are in a state of shock due to the change and not yet able to move past it because you’re still taking it all in.
2. Denial – You move away from the shock by acting as if the change hasn’t happened, you retreat from the situation, maybe procrastinate to distract your mind.
3. Anger & Frustration – You move past denial by recognising that the change has happened, you’re not really sure what to do next and this makes you feel frustrated (& or angry)
4. Loss of confidence / depression – You move past the frustration only to find yourself down, fearful, lacking confidence.
5. Experimentation – You begin to dig yourself out of the feelings of doubt and insecurity and experiment with new thoughts or ideas that could help you make the most out of this change.
6. Decisions & Planning – You decide and commit to making the most out of this change by moving to a solution focused mindset, you turn your ideas into plans and strategies, you set goals and you get ready to move forward.
7. Integration and acceptance – You have now fully accepted your new reality; you have a plan in place and you are ready to move forward and make the most out of your new situation!

𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄 𝙗𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛𝙡𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙖 𝙘𝙤𝙖𝙘𝙝 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙡𝙥 𝙖 𝙘𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙩…

A coach can use the knowledge of these stages to identify where the client is right now, and help the client move forward by asking simple but powerful questions that facilitate introspection, acceptance, problem solving, strategy planning and motivation to move forward.

𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙉 𝙄 𝙒𝙍𝙊𝙏𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙎𝙏𝙊𝙍𝙔!

For example, imagine a client (let’s call him Freddy) finds himself without a job, he has 30 days left with his employer and no other meaningful form of income thereafter. Let’s imagine Freddy has 6 months of savings to get by and the desire to start his own business, which is actually something that he had been dreaming of since his early teens and working on for a few months now.

• Freddy is first in shock at the fact that he will soon be unemployed, there’s so many things to consider, how long exactly will his savings last? Will he have to make drastic changes to his lifestyle? Are there any quick forms of income to help his savings last longer? How much should he invest into his business? He has so many ideas which should he focus on first? What if he doesn’t generate money fast enough and needs to go back to a full-time job? What if he loses the house he saved so long to buy? Should he get a part-time job to make his savings last longer? Freddy is bombarding himself with questions and is in a state of SHOCK (& inaction)

• Freddy reacts to the shock by pretending nothing has changed, he hasn’t made a budget yet but continues to spend the same amount of money that he used to, moreover he treats himself to one, two, three nights out and is actually spending more than what he used to when he was employed! Freddy knows that his employment income will soon stop but his actions are in denial with that reality.

• Freddy now realises how much time and money he’s spent in denial these last few days and how little effort he’s put into planning the next 6 months of his dream. He recognises that he has been denying his new reality and becomes frustrated at his decisions and scared of what could happen next.

• Freddy is losing confidence in his ability to double, triple quadruple his impact on the world and income for himself and his loved ones. Freddy begins to doubt his decision and loses confidence which leads to more procrastination because you can’t be doubting and giving your 100% at the same time!

• Freddy knows he wants to make the best out of this change but isn’t sure how, so he wakes up and meets his coach Fabio who asks questions such as ‘Why are you in this situation?’ ‘What are you afraid of?’ ‘Why? Why? Why?’ ‘What can you do to make this work for you?’ ‘What’s holding you back?’ ‘Where exactly would you like to be in a year’s time?’ ‘What options are available to you to get there?’ Here’s the thing, at first Freddy wasn’t being fully transparent with himself, but Fabio knew just what questions to ask and how to dig deeper to help Freddy realise that he has the potential for greatness, because Fabio deeply and truly believes that we all do. Freddy is now experimenting with the idea that this change could be really empowering. That life is what you make it, and that greatness is possible.

• Freddy is ready to stop procrastinating and build his vision. Fabio continues to ask meaningful questions and takes loads of notes. ‘What are the pros and cons of all the options available?’ ‘What’s the low hanging fruit with the most impact?’ ‘Where could you be in 3 months’ time? In one month? In a week? By the end of the day?’ Fabio & Freddy work together by looking at all the answers Freddy has self-generated over the last few sessions and turn these answers and ideas into a detailed, personalised and inspiring plan! They agree to continue meeting once a week for the next few months to review progress, keep momentum going and adapt the plan as things evolve.

• Freddy has now fully accepted his new reality, and is integrating his plan into his lifestyle, routine and actions. Freddy is committed to making this work, to building the vision for his business, and his life, to transform himself once again to succeed at this next chapter in his life.

𝙂𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩?
I am Freddy. And I am Fabio.
(Yeah I talk to myself and I coach myself & I love it haha :P)

𝘼𝙣𝙮𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨, 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠 𝙄 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙙𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙩 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙟𝙤𝙗 𝙞𝙣 𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣.

Life changes are what pushes you into the brink of breakdown or transformation. This year I came out of a long relationship and was able to move past breakdown (stages 1 to 4 of the change curve thingy) at crazy speeds, I was able to take this change and experience a massively empowering transformation.
So this time, I am creating the change myself. The timing will never be perfect, so the time is now. Quitting my job will allow me to experience super-fast levels of change and progress, it’ll allow me to transform myself again and will make me an even better Life & Business Coach than if I would’ve carried on in the slower, safer path.

Anyways hope you enjoyed the story, there may be more to follow whilst I decide what exactly to do with this page to make it as fun and impactful as possible while I write my book and build my coaching business. In the meantime, please like, share, follow and feel free to ask me anything!

Love