Brad’s Beer Reviews

Evening chaps and those with flaps. Todays beveragino is that of a cider. No it’s not your average Henry western or scrumpy jack but it’s that of a stoney nature. Now I know what to it thinking… has chef dave got his badge out and finally released a cider? But no. Is that of a Hawkstone origin, from apples in the fields of the Cotswolds. Personally licked and picked by Jeremy Clarkson and Kaleb themselves. Im gonna be brutally honest about this because I feel it’s very hard to make a cider that is different to the rest or is nice to drink in volume. Hawkstone cider from the get go is pretty basic looking, not too fizzy, a perfect sweetness and not too tangy that you have to pick up your jaw after it starts to itch. With a smooth and crisp flavour and a mellow apple sweetness it’s possibly best for people who don’t usually drink cider or just want something refreshing that’s not too sickly or fake tasting. It tastes basic… In a good way. Yes it’s not the greatest thing I’ve ever tasted but it gives you a nice flavour you can’t complain about. Now it may sound like I’ve contradicted myself in this a little bit but you fussy fu***rs will defiantly like this, it’s not got allot going on but In the most stupid way possible it tastes real, no fu**in around, good apples not too sweet, nice and refreshing have it with a burger and your uncles Pervy sausages and have a good time. And for those that don’t like normal cider go and stick to sipping on that fake kopparberg fake flavoured s**te that tastes like it’s been sweetened with blue smarties and strawberry frubes. Overall, decent ish fizz, good flavours, not overly sweet, crisp and refreshing, not too tangy however. Solid 7.4/10. Yours sincerely, Rufus Rice.
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Now shaggers. Next up we have Cobra. Yes, the beer you will probably see your dad washing down his dirty Indian Tika and pilau rice from the local curry master takeaway. Having one of these bad boys is like taking a pleasant excrement. smooth and refreshing to say the least. This is a light hearted beer for any occasion encapsulated in a bottle to make you pale fu***rs feel like you’ve gone abroad… or in your case Blackpool pleasure beach. If your seen drinking this in any bar or pub, it’s either because you’ve got a delicate stomach from last nights curry palooza or because you want to show your mates you don’t just drink Morretti or 1664. Decent beer thats smooth and refreshing with a little twist to make it unique. I reccon it’s either curry powder or a mashed up tuktuk engine. Better beer than I expected/ remembered. However, head matters, and we all like good head. So because of the poor performance of the head. I have to give it a solid 7.7/10. Like I said, It’s a good beer, just not a great one. Bosh. #bradsbeerreviews #beerreview #beer #lager #cobra #beersnob #drinkresponsibly #cobralager

Now now… coffee beer. Someone somewhere thought “ hmm what makes everyone’s Bowles explode if they drink too much” they identified these two ingredients, combined them and rubbed there hands together with an evil grin as they sat in a spinny office chair with money on their mind. I have an inkling that whoevers idea this was also has shares in @cushelleuk because their revenue streams are about to “explode”. No pun intended. Don’t get me wrong it’s not terrible. The smell is incredible, exactly like baileys. However, it doesn’t taste as good as it smells… it has a very Smokey caramel flavour with tones off mocha. its almost a bloody desert so its just made it allot easier to slam 20 of these while getting your rod out fishing. Think of Baileys and coffee with an aftertaste of Guinness. It’s an acquired taste. I wouldn’t try it after lager however because you will be very disappointed… perfect for after a Chinese. Overall, very sweet and creamy, but it’s basically Guinness for girls… start drinking this on a night out and the only people you’ll be impressing are the women and toilet paper salesmen. 7.8/10

Carling… the type of beer that only your dad would willingly drink. Unless your a Brokie and you want a cheap 4 pack that isn’t fosters… in all fairness it’s not a terrible pint, a little apple flavour and a nice fiz goes a long way. With a nice burtony flavour, carling is sure to make your dad proud when your supping on it with your sunday roast. I’ve had allot worse and aslong as you start on it your tastebuds will be satisfied. Just for the love of god don’t go from a good pint to this or you will be sure to want to pull your tong off your face. Nice head, decent flavour. 6.3/10 #bradsbeerreviews #carling #beer #beerreview

Boshhh, Birra bloody Moretti. If you could or**sm through your taste buds, this is the drink that would make you do it. Crisp like a ripe apple, smoother than Ainsley Harriet’s head. More flavour than a 5 star meal. Drinking this is like sitting in Venice with a girl on each arm. The reputations there so should I say much more? Probably not but let’s give it a go… moretti isn’t like other beers, it hurts your overdraft more than it hurts your head. It may cost and arm and a leg in most places but trust me, if your gonna donate a kidney, donate it for a pint of the good stuff. Drinking this in a bar is sure to make girls knees shake and make you look like the biggest rich studd out there. 9.2/10 tastes like gold. Boshhh. •#birramoretti #bradsbeerreviews #bosh #beer #beerreview•

If they put the Thames into a barrel then served it. This is what it would taste like… I’m pretty sure the kids in poor African countries that drink out of wells get better tasting s**t. This barely classes as a beer and is probably something you would buy your 16 y/o daughters boyfriend when he’s round. It’s crisp but lacks flavour and is some weeeeeak ass stuff. If your gonna drive home after going to spoons, this is what you wanna be drinking. All the fun of ordering a beer without the taste and pretty much 0% alcohol. I shoulda just ordered a becks blue 😂🤷‍♂️ anyway to summarise, it’s weak in taste and alcohol but if you can’t find clean water, this one’s for you. I’ll give it a 3/10 purely because it was crisp and had a head. Sorry bud light 😬😂🤷‍♂️ #bradsbeerreviews #budlight #wetherspoons #dontdrinkanddrive

First up you p**s heads! Superbock. That Portuguese lager that doesn’t taste like absolute p**s! One of my many European favourites and I’m glad it wasn’t s**t because it’s been brewed since 1927. So next time your in the ‘garv havin a few drinky poos go an try it for a refreshing fruity in-depth taste that makes Stella taste like your mrs’ sock draw. 9.3/10 proper fruityyyy ;) #superbock #bradsbeerreviews

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