Grieving but Growing
This page is to share my raw , real and sometimes ridiculous thoughts on grief and the journey so fa
25/08/2022
It’s been a minute hasn’t it!?
How you measure time and other ramblings… In the aftermath of the s**t show that followed dads death, I would count time like this…one month from his death, two months , 1 year after death , it wouldn’t have just been the 8 of Feb for exam…
27/07/2021
https://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2021/07/27/sucked-back-in/
Sucked back in I found this little entry on my phone notepad. It’s often where I write down my thoughts when I’m in the moment. This was back in April when my morning took a turn in the emotional department. You …
08/12/2020
Letting go of a death. Letting go takes far longer than you think it would.It requires you to go through every emotion, to be able to have felt raw and vulnerable to the core. It is by far the hardest thing you will have to do, literally having to pick yourself up from grief attacks and tap into that deep hurt by plastering it with the best memories you have had with your loved one....
https://wp.me/pbajyZ-2m
Letting go… Letting go of a death.Letting go takes far longer than you think it would.It requires you to go through every emotion, to be able to have felt raw and vulnerable to the core. It is by far the…
25/11/2020
If you had no more tomorrow’s would you have given as much love as you have had to give? After death has been close to you, after someone in your family passes- it’s the closest encounter that you have had to death before. Prior to this event, you may have believed that it happens to others and not you. That sounds absolutely terrible and I know it....
http://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2020/11/25/if-you-had-no-more-tomorrows/
If you had no more tomorrow’s… If you had no more tomorrow’s would you have given as much love as you have had to give? After death has been close to you, after someone in your family passes- it’s the closest encounter that you …
23/07/2020
Dad, I miss being called 2XL. Marshall called me it the other day and it seemed a bit weird. It just came out in the moment, I can't even remember why but I haven't heard it in 1 1/2 years so it felt really strange. You were the only one to call me that. (Twice the love it meant, a silly nickname dubbed to me before Marsh proposed to me.) I never knew the meaning of it until our wedding day when you gave a very clever, yet very long speech about it! [ 581 more words ]
http://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2020/07/23/dear-gowhfm/
Dear GOWHFM Dad, I miss being called 2XL. Marshall called me it the other day and it seemed a bit weird. It just came out in the moment, I can’t even remember why but I haven’t heard it in 1 1/2 ye…
28/05/2020
Today was a beautiful day of play, one on one time with my 3 1/2 year old. We parked hopped , tree climbed and I wasn’t missing out on the action! We played on the flying fox, zoomed down the slide, had a picnic up the top of the playground and swirled around singing and dancing on the wet, uncut grass. [ 375 more words ]
http://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2020/05/28/come-alive-again/
Come Alive Again Today was a beautiful day of play, one on one time with my 3 1/2 year old. We parked hopped , tree climbed and I wasn’t missing out on the action! We played on the flying fox, zoomed down the slide…
26/02/2020
Sometimes I sit and think how I’ve come so far and sometimes I feel like I’ve got so far to go. It’s been 14 months now since Dad’s passing . It’s still up and down. If you would have asked me before he passed if 14 months later I would still have tears 😭 I would not have expected it. Not to say he wasn’t worth the tears, because he is. [ 581 more words ]
http://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2020/02/26/14-months-with-you-gone/
14 Months With You Gone Sometimes I sit and think how I’ve come so far and sometimes I feel like I’ve got so far to go. It’s been 14 months now since Dad’s passing . It’s still up and down. If you would have asked me befo…
07/01/2020
Is this something that we should all have? A cosy safe zone to reflect in peace! Yes please 🙂 Elle’s Memory Hut My 4 year old made this little hut ( as they do) and I asked her what this was as I could see her special things in it. “It’s a memory hut Mum!” How sweet 😍 “What do you do in the memory hut?” [ 106 more words ]
http://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2020/01/07/the-memory-hut/
The Memory Hut Is this something that we should all have? A cosy safe zone to reflect in peace! Yes please :) Elle’s Memory Hut My 4 year old made this little hut ( as they do) and I asked her what this was as I …
01/01/2020
Firstly, I'm sorry if last year wasn't what you had hoped.If it tested your every being. If it made you fall more times than you could have imagined. If you felt the loss of a loved one so deep, too deep for words to even begin to describe. If you cried more times than you smiled. If you felt like you lost yourself. [ 754 more words ]
http://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2020/01/01/hello-new-year/
Hello New Year Firstly, I’m sorry if last year wasn’t what you had hoped.If it tested your every being. If it made you fall more times than you could have imagined. If you felt the loss of a loved one…
17/12/2019
When I’m really missing him...I go back through what I have. I spend time scrolling through my Instagram photos to see his smart comments. I smile. I remember. I wish there were more. I look at his Facebook. I smile. I remember. I go to my Facebook messenger, what have I got? Yes, some more. I scroll back through for a moment and relive those conversations. [ 652 more words ]
http://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2019/12/17/lookouta-brain-dump-is-upon-you/
Lookout,A Brain Dump Is Upon You! When I’m really missing him…I go back through what I have. I spend time scrolling through my Instagram photos to see his smart comments. I smile. I remember. I wish there were more. I look at…
25/11/2019
The shops are filled with decorations.The calendar is filled with dates out and festive parties.My ears are filled with the sound of Christmas.My eyes are filled with the buzz of people.My dreams are filled with Dad.My heart is not full. Not today. I sort of expected it. One year anniversary of Dad's death and Christmas rolled into one big present for us this year. [ 470 more words ]
http://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2019/11/25/and-just-like-that/
And just like that… The shops are filled with decorations.The calendar is filled with dates out and festive parties.My ears are filled with the sound of Christmas.My eyes are filled with the buzz of people.My dreams a…
28/10/2019
I still find myself gazing off into the distance wondering how it all happened. I think how final death is and it makes me sad. You would have to have a heart of stone for it not to right!? I wish if only, if only I could have had more time, more laughs, more memories, just more. But even if I did get that, that would never be enough. [ 613 more words ]
http://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2019/10/28/finality-the-irreversible-no-more/
Finality. The Irreversible. No more. I still find myself gazing off into the distance wondering how it all happened. I think how final death is and it makes me sad. You would have to have a heart of stone for it not to right!? I wish …
13/10/2019
We have all felt pain...Grazed knees, broken bones, recovery from surgery, child birth, rolled ankles, strains to name a few but heart pain, heart pain is different. And let me tell you, it's a bitch. I can't think of a more eloquent way to put it. Today, my family had just had a beautiful breakfast out at a favourite cafe. [ 660 more words ]
http://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2019/10/13/heart-pain/
Heart Pain We have all felt pain…Grazed knees, broken bones, recovery from surgery, child birth, rolled ankles, strains to name a few but heart pain, heart pain is different. And let me tell you, it& #82…
28/09/2019
I was helping my 4 year old get dressed one morning a few weeks ago... Out of the blue Elle piped up and said “Mum if you were gone the world would break.” It was a hard one to come back with a comment. It caught me by surprise and it saddened me that she is young and thinking this because of her recent experiences around death. [ 312 more words ]
http://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2019/09/28/the-world-would-break-with-you-gone/
The World Would Break With You Gone. I was helping my 4 year old get dressed one morning a few weeks ago… Out of the blue Elle piped up and said “Mum if you were gone the world would break.” It was a hard one to come back with a…
06/09/2019
My dad died from a heart attack at 59.Another close family member had a heart attack around a month later, at a younger age.I have raised cholesterol too, it can and in this case is hereditary. After a few doctor visits and my family history, she suggested I go and get a CT scan. That is a Calcium Score Scan to see if there is any calcium build up in my hearts arteries. [ 408 more words ]
http://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2019/09/06/check-your-familys-health-history/
Check Your Family’s Health History My dad died from a heart attack at 59.Another close family member had a heart attack around a month later, at a younger age.I have raised cholesterol too, it can and in this case is hereditary. Aft…
28/08/2019
Hopefully the link works this time :)
A holiday, but grief is invited 🤣 Nelson Lakes Having just arrived home from a beautiful trip to Sunny Nelson, NZ I thought I should put pen to paper (more like use the notepad app on my phone, in the bath) share why I think it’s i…
16/08/2019
https://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2019/08/16/grief-grows-gratitude/
grateful
/ˈɡreɪtfʊl,ˈɡreɪtf(ə)l/
Learn to pronounce
adjective
feeling or showing an appreciation for something done or received.
Grief Grows Gratitude I’ve always considered myself to be a grateful person in fact I recall the hour before Dad’s death and I was in this incredible moment of gratefulness. Let me paint the picture, I was walking to a …
08/08/2019
https://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2019/08/08/the-lonely-feels/
Reader disclaimer: I did not write this post blurry eyed crying. I did cry after it though... but thats because I got head butted in the cheekbone by my four year old ;P The joys. It feels good writing, it's like a therapy for me :) x
The Lonely Feels. Today is 8 months since Dad died. Today I cried in my boxing class. I broke down on the boxing bag. Huge ups to my new friend who gave me a long and sweaty cuddle, I mean I was dripping! My tears n…
05/08/2019
https://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2019/08/05/firsts-are-really-hard/
Firsts are REALLY hard For the first week, I lived in this little death bubble. Surrounded by my family, Dad’s friends and a few of my own friends. I did not enter the “real world” once, except for a dazed and blurry air…
30/07/2019
Hey, new to this whole game but giving it a shot. Check out my first post on my blog...I'm still wearing my L Plates!
https://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2019/07/30/example-post/
30/07/2019
https://grievingbutgrowing.home.blog/2019/07/30/welcome-to-my-blog/
BLURB This page is to share my raw , real and sometimes ridiculous thoughts on grief and the journey so far. I’m a 31 year old Mother to two under 5. I’m wife to an amazing man Marshall and recently and …