Jo Long, Learning to Love Autism

🌟 New Episode of Raising Confident Kids with SEN 🌟

In our latest episode, I sit down with the incredible Jo Long ( .learningtoloveautism ) for a heartfelt conversation about parenting children with special educational needs (SEN).

Listen here: https://buff.ly/42ZzEDu

Jo shares her deeply personal journey of parenting her autistic son, and how it led her to becoming a life coach for other mums through her service, Learning to Love Autism. 🌈 She opens up about the challenges of isolation, the importance of understanding and support, and the transformative power of self-care.

Highlights from the episode include:
- The significance of setting boundaries and saying no to commitments that detract from quality time with your children.
- The necessity of not feeling guilty for prioritising self-care.
- Jo's experience with autism, sensory processing needs, and ADHD - and how she found support.
- The benefit of one-on-one coaching and talking to neutral parties for emotional relief and solutions.
- Using a strengths-based approach in parenting to celebrate the unique abilities of neurodivergent children.

Join us as we discuss the ongoing nature of self-care, the value of open communication with partners, and the need for vulnerability and connection. This episode is packed with heartfelt stories and advice for parents navigating the complexities of SEN.

Please tune in, share with fellow parents, and remember to rate, review, and follow our podcast to help us reach more families! Listen now: https://buff.ly/42ZzEDu

Would you like an easier and more enjoyable family life for you and your autistic child?

Hi, I’m Jo a life coach for mums of autistic children and fellow mum to my son who is bright, quirky, autistic with ADHD and nicknamed Bookasaurus.

I’m here to invite you to my 4-week Intuitive Parenting Course over Zoom and online Community, designed especially for mums of autistic children from nursery age to just above junior school (no diagnosis needed).

Each week, I’ll be sharing a part of my story and teaching you practical approaches to better engage with your child.

Week one covers communication strategies.

Week two tackles reducing anxiety and meltdowns.

Week three is all about managing aggressive behavior and building friendships.

Week four helps with school/nursery reluctance.

You’ll also be welcomed into my supportive online community, where you can share your concerns and find creative ways through challenging situations.

We begin in mid June with options to join daytime or evening Zoom calls (see flyer for details, spaces are limited).

Let’s work together to create a happier family life.

Your investment for the full course is £90.

E-mail or direct message me to book onto my course and community. I look forward to welcoming you very soon!

Separation Anxiety - does your child worry about being left on their own?

Bookasaurus sometimes worries about being on his own even if I’m just upstairs and he’s downstairs. Neurodiverse children can struggle with object permanence (knowing that something still exists even if you can’t sense it) and feel things more intensely.

He also doesn’t like it if I’m a bit late for picking him up from school. I asked him why and he said he’s worried that I won’t come and what will happen to him if I don’t pick him up. Children innately want to feel safe.

I’ve explained that he’s safe with the teachers, that I will always come and pick him up and sometimes I just get held up or I’m talking to another mummy and forget the time. He’s said I’m not allowed to talk to other mums on the school run now!

He does have more of an understanding that things will be ok but can still worry. I encourage him to share his feelings and share my own experiences of when I’ve felt scared and the better thoughts that have made me feel calmer.

He has a strong attachment to me and that’s healthy as long as it doesn’t stop him from doing things.

So we are trying something new to help him understand that I’m always around even if he can’t see me - playing hide and seek!

When I’m hiding I’ve said even though he can’t see me he knows I’m still there. He loves hide and seek and lots of younger children like peek a boo so it’s a fun learning opportunity.

Tips to help with separation:

❤️ Visualise the separation going well and how happy/proud you feel of child coping well

❤️ Use a visual chart with photos/pictures to show where mummy is, who will be looking after your child and when you’re coming back

❤️ Let your child pick a toy/object 🧸 for each of you that you can take with you to maintain a sense of connection and reunite them when you come together again

Jo - Your safe space to land throughout your journey ❤️

If you’d love to feel supported and connected then join me & fellow mums on my Intuitive Parenting Course & Community for mums of Autistic Children & those noticing differences (no diagnosis needed).

The online community starts on Monday 15 April & the course starts on Wednesday 1 May at 8 pm & Friday 3 May at 9.30 am, see flyer for more details).

Each week I tell you part of my story with my son who is bright, quirky & autistic. I share with you what worked to:

❤️ strengthen our communication & relationship,

❤️ reduce his anxiety/aggression &

❤️ build relationships with siblings, friends & school.

Then I ask some of the members of the group to share their concerns so we can reduce the anxiety for your individual children’s worries & find a way forward.

It’s been wonderful seeing the mums on the March course supporting each other with ideas & suggestions and making huge progress.

DM me or email [email protected] to book on.

You’re welcome to bring a friend.

I also offer 1:1 coaching, over Zoom & in person at a cafe/walking if local. For more info:

https://learningtoloveautism.com/support-for-mums/

Any queries just ask.

Jo - Your safe space to land throughout your journey ❤️

Take a Birds Eye view - imagine you’re up in the trees looking down at yourself and your family. We took Bookasaurus out today to the beautiful Rural Life Living museum https://rural-life.org.uk/ as the train 🚂 was running! He just kept saying I’m tired I want to go home.

When things are getting busy it’s easy to get caught up in the nitty gritty/back and forth of family life. I find it helpful to pause, stop engaging in the banter and take a broader perspective. I realised what we all needed was some lunch!

Everyone thinks differently and as mums we do our best to meet everybody’s needs, which should include ours as well.

Hope you’re having a lovely Easter 🐣!

Jo - Your safe space to land throughout your journey ❤️

I’m running a free online workshop for Mums on how to reduce your young children’s anxiety on Monday 8 April, 8 - 9.30 pm.

I will tell you a story about Bookasaurus’s worries (my son who is bright & autistic with ADHD) that seemed small to me but were huge for him. Through the story I share with you what worked to make him feel comfortable, where I went wrong & what I learnt. We look at:

❤️ Reconnecting with Your Children (siblings too) &

❤️ Reducing Frustration by Strengthening Communication

Siblings can be affected by what is happening with your child who thinks differently so it’s important to build their understanding & strengthen relationships with them too.

Then I ask some of the members of the group to share their concerns so we can reduce the anxiety for your individual children’s worries.

I like to keep things light so
its also an opportunity for some adult conversation & a bit of a laugh to break up the Easter 🐣 holidays too! You’re welcome to bring a friend.

DM me or email [email protected] to book on and I will send you the Zoom link.

For more info:

https://learningtoloveautism.com/support-for-mums/

Any queries just ask.

Jo - Your safe space to land throughout your journey ❤️

Steph's Two Girls Steph is such an engaging writer

Anxiety- this week on the course we are talking about anxiety.

Helping children to recognise their emotions is a first step to reducing worries.

When you’re watching TV programmes or reading books you can say ‘Bluey looks sad or happy’. Bookasaurus still loves Mr Men/Little Miss books and I ask what he thinks they’re feeling. You can then help your child to recognise their feelings by saying what you see ‘I can see you’re not feeling good, let’s read a story’.

Showing them that it’s ok to feel angry etc and to express those emotions by sharing how you’re feeling really helps - ’I felt a bit sad this morning because I was tired but then I washed my face and I felt fresher and ready to go’.

Showing them pictures or videos of the playground, nursery/school can then help you to work out what is causing that feeling of worry. It might seem like something small to you but it could feel debilitating to them.

You can break down a word into different meanings - ‘good’, and not good, better good. Relative examples also build learning - ‘was school better good than yesterday?’

With Bookasaurus I use good, in between and not so good.
You can also use a number scale to represent feelings with 1 being not so good and 3 being good or use your fingers for them to grab onto with the same choices.

It’s finding something that both you and your child understand and it could then be shared with family, nursery or school.

When things seem tough call on your inner strength, your warrior, you are stronger than you think.

Or call on your inner cheeky monkey 🐵 like my son! Although in the photo he is in his own quiet magical world.

Allow others around you to help you, asking for help is a sign of great strength and bravery.

The answer maybe just around the corner it’s just trusting that everything will work out for the best. Often the answer is inside us rather than out there and once we relax it will appear.

Children glued to screens can really frustrate us! For them it’s part of normal life but we were brought up in a different time without mobiles or tablets and it can make us feel uncomfortable.

Our natural reaction can be to stop behaviour but a child is trying to communicate something to us through their behaviour whether that’s watching screens, back chat or having a meltdown.

Another way to approach it is to model/demonstrate and encourage positive behaviour.

I’m fairly relaxed with letting Bookasaurus watch screens but I also try and provide opportunities for him to do other things. I go with something I know he’s going to enjoy so we are going to do a step by step drawing of Shadow the Hedgehog from Sonic this week! It still involves looking at a screen but we are in the moment enjoying drawing together. The picture of Sonic is one we did earlier!

I’m also conscious that I often have my phone on the table at teatime so I’m going to put it away to demonstrate positive behaviour.

Giving children a purpose and incentive can work wonders too e.g. a job to do. Bookasaurus unloaded three bits of food shopping for us at the weekend, then I said he could watch something!

Also expect what you want from them and think about why you want it. Is it because you’re worried what other people think (which is totally normal)?
Most importantly think about what they want and need and why.

So imagine your child engaging with you through a toy/activity, talking or just smiling at each other how wonderful would that feel? If the planned activity isn’t what they want to do then go with the flow or find another opportunity to engage. The most important thing is that you’re coming from a place of wanting to help them and seeing things from their perspective. That energy will immediately relax both of you.

If there is anything that you would like help on or to help others with? Let me know and I can post on it or give you my thoughts 💭. Feel welcome to comment, DM or email me [email protected]

Happy Mother’s Day - you’re doing an amazing job, take the pressure off yourself and enjoy 😊 whatever makes you feel good: 5 minutes peace, listening to your favourite song, or eating your favourite food!

I try and find opportunities every day to emotionally connect and be totally in the moment with Bookasaurus whether it’s watching something with him, talking about sonic the hedgehog or doing some colouring together.

Have a lovely day, sending lots of love xx.

Siblings/Friendships & Challenging Behaviour - one of the issues that came up last week on the course was siblings finding it difficult to cope with what is happening with their brother/sister who thinks differently.

We can feel so torn and anxious when we see our children upset or acting in an aggressive, out of character way because they don’t understand what’s happening with their sibling, don’t feel in control or they no longer feel connected to us. For parents of autistic children without siblings, issues can arise with friendships.

It can be heart breaking when your child says ‘I hate you but they actually mean I need you’.

When I was feeling under strain a couple of years ago Bookasaurus’s behaviour at school became aggressive but I sought support for myself, calmed down and as I reconnected with him he relaxed. This week I’ll be talking about aggression and friendships and anything else that is on your mind! If you’re not sure whether your child is autistic you’re still very welcome to join a lot of the parenting tips I share will help anyone.

You’re welcome to join us this Tuesday 5 March at 8pm or Friday 8 March at 9.30am (see flyer details). I’m doing catch up sessions on: Tues 26 March and Tues 16 April and Fri 19 April. As soon as you book on you’ll be able to join the online community which will continue over the Easter holidays where I’ll support and inspire you!

The course starts again on Thursday 25 April at 9.30am and Tuesday 30 April at 8pm.

I also offer 1:1s with text support in between, we meet over Zoom or at a cafe/walk. Did you know that you can use your training fund at work to pay for coaching?

DM me or email [email protected]

Feel welcome to share.

Helping you create a brighter future for your child Jo x

Friendships/Playdates - on the course this week we are talking about friendships and with the Easter 🐣 holidays coming up I thought I would share my tips and blog on play dates.

Keeping play dates as simple as possible really helps to reduce possible overwhelm.

Tips for playing with friends:

* Preparation is key - describe what is going to happen to your child before the play date: who, where, what, why and for how long. A social story is great, pictures, photos, videos, if you’re taking them somewhere new then a pre-visit to the park/the other person’s home for 10 mins etc can really help them to feel more comfortable. Talk to the other parent/carer too so they know what to expect e.g. that your child may need a break, to look at your phone etc and find out about the other child too, what do they like to do, maybe you can find an activity like painting that they both like!
* Find a friend who’s laid back, empathetic or has experience with children with development/sensory needs or a child who has similar interests maybe they both like Lego or princesses.
* Give them your attention and suggest/show them how to play so both children are included and get a turn.
* One friend can be enough (I’ve found that more children can be overwhelming)
* Keep the play date short – you could start with 30 minutes and build from there.
* De-brief - when you and your child are relaxed that evening or the next day ask them how they felt it went. You can use pictures of different expressions to help so they can point to a happy or sad face. It’s a great learning opportunity to see what they found challenging and what they enjoyed ❤️.
Most importantly stay calm, go with the flow and remember that we are only human and things don’t always go to plan!

Let me know what you found most helpful from my tips?!

Blog:
https://learningtoloveautism.com/playing-with-friends/

Feel welcome to share.

Helping you create a brighter future for your child Jo x

Super powers - sometimes we forget that we all have superpowers 🦸. Very young children are often fearless skiing down a ski ⛷️ slope with no fear because they haven’t been pulled back by experiences or other people. My son knows that my favourite superhero is Wonder Woman!

It’s just remembering that we are all special as individuals we are a drop of precious water 💧 from the same sea or stardust ⭐️ from the same universe.

If we experience life with love, gratitude, kindness and heart ❤️ then our energy is magnetic and we can achieve anything!

Communication-tell them in advance you don’t want them to be scared of the crocodile 🐊 in the bath!

The first wave of COVID was hellish, Bookasaurus would refuse to go out for a walk. I could hear him screaming as he and my husband walked down the road. I rang the health visitor surely that wasn’t normal she was sympathetic but wasn’t really able to help.

Later I discovered that the best way to communicate with autistic children is to tell them in advance what’s coming up.

When the next COVID wave struck and he was at home we told him that mummy would look after him in the morning and then Daddy would take him out for a bike ride in the afternoon. When he knew what to expect he went with the flow and enjoyed learning how to ride his bike.

We now tell Bookasaurus everything in advance even if I’m just going upstairs I’ll tell him that’s what I’m doing. It makes everything a lot easier. It’s definitely one to try over half-term.

Does autism feel like a battle? The frustration of not being able to truly engage with your children, the meltdowns, aggression & anxiety.

It’s heartbreaking when your child finds it hard to communicate and you don’t know what they want or how they’re feeling.

As a fellow mum who gets it I know how isolating it feels to bottle it all up rather than face the judgement of others. I listen & help you to understand & engage with your young autistic child. I find the trigger/solution for their different behaviours so you can enjoy being a family & they make progress (no diagnosis needed).

As you start to understand your child, change your parenting approach, the language you use, adapt to them, & help them to understand themselves anxiety reduces for them & for us and things get easier, you may even start to have some fun with them!

Join myself & likeminded mums for my Empowering Course & Community for Mums of Autistic Children, the Instagram community has already started.

To book on DM me or email [email protected]

The course will be running in April, June & Sept too.

I also offer 1:1s with text support in between, we meet over Zoom or at a cafe/walk.

Feel welcome to share.

Helping you create a brighter future for your child. Jo x.

Are you dreading half-term? As a fellow mum of an autistic child who gets it I’m here to listen and help. If you’d love to feel supported and connected then join me and fellow mums on my Empowering Community and Course for mums of Autistic Children (see flyer for info).

I’ll be posting on: explaining to siblings that your autistic child thinks differently, engaging with your children, reducing meltdowns, friendships, getting to grips with screen time, reducing aggression, dealing with your own fears and worries, nursery/school and reducing your child’s anxiety.

I also like to make the group as personalised as possible so if there is something else on your mind just let me know.

I also offer 1:1s with text support in between, we meet over Zoom or at a cafe/walk.

DM me or email [email protected]

Feel welcome to share.

Helping you create a brighter future for your child. Jo x

Would you like to create a brighter future for your autistic child? Hi I’m Jo, Coach and fellow mum who gets it. Join my upcoming Empowering Course & Community for Mums of Young Autistic Children. Details in the flyer. Message or email me at [email protected]. Feel welcome to share.

Empowering Course & Community for Mums of Young Autistic Children with Jo Long, Coach & Fellow Mum Who Gets It (no diagnosis needed).

Dates:
Evening Course
Tuesday 27 February, & 5, 12, 19 March 8.00 pm - 9.30 pm or

Daytime Course
Friday 23 February & 1, 8, 15 March 9.30 am – 11 am

The course is over Zoom & includes being part of a Facebook/Instagram community with like-minded women starting on 8 February where I post twice a week over half-term and throughout the course to support, motivate, and inspire you. You can join the FB community anytime from 8 Feb onwards once booked in. 

Cost: £90 for the full course paid in advance.  Message me or email jo@learningtoloveautism. 

Hi, I’m Jo & my son Bookasaurus is bright, quirky & autistic with ADHD. Each week I tell you part of our story & the parenting approaches that have gained his engagement & cooperation & work for autistic children.

Then I ask members of the group to share their concerns & I find the trigger/solution to help them.

Week 1 - My Child Can’t Tell Me What They Want (how to engage with your child)
Week 2 - Aggressive Behaviour
Week 3 - Nursery/School Refusal (not wanting to go in)
Week 4 - Meltdowns & Anxiety

Before: Chloe said ‘I don’t why she won’t go to school, I feel exhausted. I don’t know what to expect in the future.’

After: ‘You realised that some of the children were being mean to her so we worked with the school to sort it out, my daughter is now making progress thank you. I feel heard, connected, grounded & hopeful.’

If you have any queries feel welcome to message me. 

I also offer 1:1 coaching, for more information: https://learningtoloveautism.com/support-for-mums/

Feel welcome to share.
Warm wishes Jo

So you think your child is autistic … what now? As a fellow mum who gets it, I help you to understand and meet your child’s needs, so they make progress & you all feel happy, confident & hopeful as a family (no diagnosis needed). Every mum deserves to be heard with compassion.

I remember that when I first noticed differences in my son Bookasaurus autism felt like this big scary monster, what did it all mean, I felt guilty, torn & isolated. I didn’t know what to do to best help him.

Jump ahead a few years and I have ‘learned to love autism’. I now know that my son just thinks differently and with my understanding and support he can: get himself dressed, is a complete chatterbox, is kind and perceptive, bright, has lovely friendships, an incredible memory, enthusiasm for life, a mind-blowing imagination, a passion for books and transformers, is doing well at school, and the list goes on.  

I show you how to:

👉 understand your child’s needs
👉 meet their needs by adapting to them, with greater tools in your toolkit
👉 encourage engagement and cooperation from your child
👉 what can be a trigger for certain behaviours
👉 support their learning & development
👉 develop friendships
👉 support them to feel safe, confident & happy
👉 understand each other as a family so you can meet each other’s needs
👉 create a manageable work/life balance
👉 navigate the system

When we work together you will see things more positively & feel in control, supported, connected, empowered, & motivated. You will start to enjoy parenting & your children and family will flourish. I am your Mary Poppins!

We work over Zoom, meet at a café or walk. I offer weekly 1:1 sessions with text support in between & coaching days at beautiful outdoor venues.

My group workshop course is also starting in early Feb, look out for details soon.

DM or email me at [email protected] to set up a free taster call online or over the phone.

For more information: https://learningtoloveautism.com/support-for-mums/

Feel welcome to share.

Warm wishes Jo x.

Come and hear my story as mum of Bookasaurus my quirky, demanding bright and autistic son!
Share your thoughts and I will help you to understand and help your children and family so that you feel more in control. Looking forward to it, warm wishes Jo x.