Ms. Hexane

Out along the coast, sitting and posing because my chronic fatigue was acting up~

I went out the other day and looked at a bunch of beautiful cars. It was pleasant to be out of the house, moving around and stretching out the last six months of being stuck in the house. @ Los Gatos, California

Walking through some epic chronic pain. It was a great day, pleasant weather, and beautiful plants 💚 We should all take time to go touch grass. @ Filoli Historic House & Garden

Chronic pain + hiking = plopping down randomly and getting cute photo opportunities

Out and about, touching grass. Might I recommend that you do so too? @ San Francisco Ferry Building

In a pink room, with no curtains...

Went into the city for the first time in a minute. Beautiful day, cool art. I even enchanted a little girl with my green hair. @ The Art of the Brick

Went out. Touched grass. It was good.

When goths garden, nature is allowed to rule 💚
Seriously. Go sit by a tree for a bit. It's amazing.

Goths in the garden!
I've managed to make it out of the house and along the coast two weeks in a row, and greatly enjoyed both outings. Might I suggest we all take more time to touch grass? @ UC Santa Cruz Arboretum

When I started taking my first epilepsy medication, it ruined my skin. I developed deep, excruciating cystic acne that would take months to abate, and would leave marks for ages. I started using April skin some time last year, and I didn't take before photos, really. I just noticed that my skin is all glowy, and the marks have faded almost to nothing! So I decided to put on some eyeshadow and leave the rest of my face bare so it wouldn't make a mess of my masks. I'm legitimately flabbergasted that my skin looks so clear and bright - better even than before meds.
Their products are expensive, but I think they're worth it - maybe you could give them a try?

TFW: You feel cute but also exhausted. I had two appointments fifteen minutes apart earlier today. I had booked them on a good energy day, but, uh, today was a bad fatigue day.
To my Chronic Crew, might I suggest that, going forward, we don't schedule appointments a week in advance, because we don't know where we'll be by the time the engagement comes around.

Poking around through old photos. This was probably 2015? Had a great time with this shoot! , California

Playing around in front of fancy cars~
When you're chronically ill, it can feel like you never have energy for anything. I had the opportunity to attend a movie and have some pictures taken in front of fancy cars, recently. It was wonderful to be out of the house and doing something I enjoy after having felt a bit like a slug for quite awhile.
It's important that when you do get a brief respite from your chronic fatigue or a have a good pain day, to be kind to yourself. Your body has given you a gift, and it helps overall to use it judiciously.

When a goth goes to a beach...

So, I've been working out, recently, which is helping with my systemic pain, but is causing more acute pain. If you can, I do recommend more physical activity, but also that you be kind to yourself. Don't start with the Chloe Ting Shred Challenge, particularly if you have an inflammatory disorder (hi! It me!) But rather, start with short walks, small movements build upon themselves and help you to acclimate. If you can, work with someone who specialises in helping people with pain disorders. If you can't, make sure that you work with yourself compassionately, kindly, and patiently. This stuff doesn't happen overnight, it doesn't even happen in a month. Fitness is always a journey, but it will absolutely be longer - and more arduous - for those of us living with chronic pain and illness. Your sickness does not define you, it is not the entirety of your personhood: It's merely a facet of what makes you a unique, dynamic, and worthy human being.

Is Flashback Friday still a thing? I got that sweater when I was 13 and still have it. Keeping your clothes for longer helps reduce the environmental impact, and keeps them from winding up in the dump.

🦇 v. 🧦! Did you know that socks are one of the most requested items at shelters? Next time you make a clothing donation, look into including new, unworn socks. Alternatively, consider shopping with brands like to ensure that your purchase helps others 💚 @ Roseville Galeria Mall

Taking a breather.

I've been AWOL, I guess. Just dealing with the unending war that is chronic illness. How are y'all doing?

Some portraits from the Pioneer Cemetery 💚 @ Dublin Pioneer Cemetery

Judith beheading Holofernes @ Dublin Pioneer Cemetery

Another from last weekend: My hands are one of my favourite features 💚

Shooting with .tekant in Dublin the other day @ Dublin Pioneer Cemetery

Went to the doctor yesterday. Wound up short thirteen vials of blood. I feel like I've been hit by a truck, so decided to wear some cute stuff. I don't feel better, per se, but at least the bruises are covered
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Got wine. Hid amongst the rocks. It was good.

Missing my bestie terribly 😭

I see the truth, when I'm all stupid-eyed...

Enjoying the rainy day :)

Masks save lives like mine: As someone with asthma, masks help protect me from so I can carry on making pretty pictures!

Learning curves in mobility aids: Some materials stick very well to the Velcro used on braces~

My knee braces make these boots look like thigh highs! If you have chronic pain, it can be hard to feel cute or put-together, and most resources just offer platitudes, which can be both infuriating and demoralizing. It's always fun to find some way to overcome looking unwell. Know you're not alone in this, and there are ways to both survive and thrive your sickness: It does not define you.

Mucking about with a new tripod~

Threw together a gogo/superhero vibe for working on a massive data set.

Happy Turkey Day!

WFH seems to be melting my brain. How are you holding up?

In another timeline, I released a Yeehaw Goth album.

Trying to date night with the hubby during a pandemic as a chronically ill person...