Kobi, the ultimate BTS fan

I LOVE FRACKING

Get the f**k out of here right now go home now and Google black eagle trust fund. Google project artichoke. Google Phoenix program. Google Daniel Morley. Google hand of death Henry Lee lucas. Google north fox island. Shave your head pull out all your teeth and learn how to shoot.

Good morning to everybody that celebrates

“Uh oh spaghettios” after I make a critical error

i shot my wife

Yeah you could say I have a p**n addiction

An addiction to p**n myself an ice cold beer

This is the end

check in on all the people in your life you assume/suspect of being Jewish this week

You ever seen a woman so bad you start to think you should be a better person?

The cool thing about kids is that when you lose the rights to them in court you can just make some more

"Yeah... Can I get- uhh... Hong Kong style chicken with rice and eggroll with it..."

-"It cm wif egg ruh"

It’s my karma for taking 2 escorts to a restaurant, live and learn

Last night I went for a fancy meal with 2 high class escorts wearing an all white suit, I ordered the spaghetti, instantly spilled it on myself and sulked about it for the rest of the night

Ngl boys I’m a mileena enjoyer

Gonna walk my re****ed f**king dog in a few hours

You don’t hate me, you’re only saying that because I broke your cat’s leg last week

Just pi***ng on random furniture in my house

McDonald's you forgot my orange juice on the weekend you f**king dicks

My buddy The Watchlist Warrior’s head exploded earlier but it’s ok my guy’s chilling

Just gave denzel a monkey scrub

Goodnight you bunch of f**king idiots

Unhand me, you re**rd!

Guys at the leisure centre swimming pool said i swim pretty fast for an ethnic boy

I had a traumatic brain injury in a car accident

wait no they cant be the ones left out of a theft movie they’re like the safe expert

okay i somehow forgot hispanic so the gypsies are gonna have to go

white
black
asian
native
indian
arab
australian aboriginee
gypsy
jewish
obama style indonesian guy
hawaiian
Inuit

Oceans 11 should be a dozen guys of different races. Like really go out of there way with it to the point where its a genuine plot hole how they would've met

I get commission for every su***de i prevent working at the su***de hotline and i cheer like jordan Belfort in the wolf of wall street every time I convince someone not to end their objectively terrible life like I just sold a sh*tty bond

Why’d that one guy make diarrhoea so hard to spell

Since I’ve been working at the su***de hotline I’ve had a 100% success rate by threatening to kill myself if they do it

Imagine you die a tragic death and the pic they use on the news and at your funeral is with the snapchat dog filter

Congratulations to Kane on passing his test first time this morning in Wallasey. Completed a 30hr intensive course and worked very hard for it. Good luck in the future from the BDS team.

I’m a f**king beast, I’m an animal, I’m a f**king predator LOCK YA DAUGHTERS LOCK YA MUMS UP F**K REHAB IM SNIFFING SHARDS

OH NO OH NO

FIRST DONATION IN

VERY GENEROUS

If 3 of you donate £10 to me I’ll get 3 instead of 2

u were rude as f**k in school n now u want me to like ur makeup page? f**k right off