Loving U

jillianturecki Some lessons I've learned about love later in life.

jillianturecki Relationships need more than safety. But without it,we don't have a relationship.

We have anxiety.

You don't have to be a perfect communicator. You just have tobe willing. We all do.

Because at the very core of most relationship problems is acommunication breakdown.

So, it's incumbent on all of us to practice, read books, takecOurses - whatever is necessary to learn how to communicatebetter.

This makes us safe.

And we open when we feel safe.

But here’s the thing….once you get good at them, which is entirely possible, they get a LOT easier. ❤️🪴

I live in a small permaculture village in the Sunshine Coast hinterland. When I moved out here I was told you get to know snake energy pretty quick… and it really is an interesting thing.

This morning I had that now familiar feeling of snake energy in the house… I noticed a toy on the floor and sure enough found a little snake tucked away nearby.

Snake medicine is about transition and change… outgrowing your old skin…

I find it so curious to reflect on what’s happening internally when these guys show up in my space… like little signposts.

The more time I spend connecting with nature, the more I am able to slow down and give space for what is arising within… and naturally the more space I allow, the better my capacity for containment and grace.

Try not to read this as a mandate….all couples are different and are at different places in their relationships. That’s why the first bullet is the most important…..it’s all about growth and here are some things to think about. ❤️🪴

What’s the difference between thriving couples and struggling couples? The ability to repair. Healthy couples argue and fight sometimes, and I don’t mean calmly. I mean some couples who are healthy yell and say mean things. Not all of course, but some. Why? Because they grew up in homes where they didn’t learn to manage conflict in healthy ways and because their nervous systems were wired to experience intense triggers as a means to emotional survival, which in the mind of a child equates to physical survival. That’s another topic entirely, but the point is this: what you picked up in childhood might not ever entirely disappear. That is the reality. It’s not your fault, it’s not your partner’s fault, it just is. And if it doesn’t entirely disappear, it’s going to show up in when you’re most stressed, such as during conflict with your partner. So while you might not make your wounds entirely disappear, you CAN learn to use your mess-ups as opportunities to better understand each other, grow, and deepen your connections. Successful repairs lessen conflict, help you feel safer, and help you heal. With that said, no matter what you’ve gone through in life, you’re still responsible for your behaviors and the consequences of your behaviors. There is a point at which fighting escalates in intensity and frequency to a degree that, even when repaired, makes a relationship worse and can keep people stuck in their wounds. In that situation the couple needs to get help or make touch decisions about the future. Still, fighting itself is not a problem; it’s a reality for many couples who are committed to growth but find themselves reverting back to old patterns during stress. If that’s you, it’s going to be okay. Nobody goes from A to Z overnight. But you do have a responsibility to yourself, your partner, your relationship, and any one else in your life who is impacted, to work on successful repairs. ❤️

The are few things more satisfying than growing together….looking back and saying “look how far we’ve come.” This is the stuff of lifetime bonds 🪴

"Embrace Your Worth, Set Boundaries for Growth"

Building stronger boundaries in relationships is essential for personal growth and maintaining healthy connections. To help you navigate this journey, consider the following mantra:

"I embrace my worth and set boundaries for growth.
I honour my needs and communicate them with clarity.
I protect my energy and prioritize self-care.”
Repeat this mantra to remind yourself of the importance of setting boundaries, valuing your worth, and fostering healthier relationships. Remember, boundaries are not walls; they are bridges that enable growth, respect, and emotional well-being for both yourself and those around you.

MEN

The awakened/awakening divine feminine wants more. She craves your depth of consciousness. Your stillness. Your rock like presence in her life. Your leadership. She's looking for the structure to her beautiful chaos. Her compliment. Not some wishy washy man who doesn't know how to keep his house in order or not know when or how to stand up.

Even deeper... She wants a man who knows how to sit down. She craves a man who can sit with himself, and so with her. She craves a man who knows how to face what most men aren't willing to face. To sit in the shadows of his consciousness and get to the root of his issues. To be still enough to hear the beckoning voice inside.
Awaken.
Awaken.
Awaken.

She craves a man who is courageous enough to do what he KNOWS he must do to serve this world with his heart. To step fully and presently into his purpose. To devote his life to his mission. And to commit to his growth and his true Benevolent heart, fully.

She wants a man who is here to serve THROUGH his depth. And she won't settle for less. Not this woman. Not the one who has spent her whole life getting to this moment of realizing who she truly is and what she truly wants. Settling is for the birds. She wants a man. Not a boy. A man has gone through the initiations into another dimension. A higher level of conscious creation. He has risen from the child within and has claimed his stake in the world. He moves with agility, adaptability, purpose, and love. He leads with a fire inside. To serve those within his circle and expand his kingdom. To reflect the love he has for himself into the world around him. To reach down and pull others up by penetrating them so deeply they can't help but to see the truth of WHO they are. She wants a man who can lead her. Not tame her. But claim her. And she won't be "claimed" by someone who hasn't even claimed himself.

I see women all over the world growing at an exponential rate.
Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
For their "man" to DO the same. Yet she won't wait forever. Because she KNOWS what she's worth now. And she will only give herself open to someone if she can trust him. And she won't trust him if he doesn't even trust himself. Who would? A man who trusts himself KNOWS. He is in tune with his intuition. His beautiful mind. His loving benevolent heart. And his fiery depth.

She's had enough of watching her "man" play small. She's had enough of watching him crumble away doing the things he hates. She's sat through enough grief watching the potential get wasted. The potential of what both she AND he KNOW he can be. The boring conversations. The lack luster attitude. The aggravation and anger from a life unfulfilling leaking into every part of his life and hers. It's time for men to own their s**t. It's time for men to be men again. To take responsibility. To lead their OWN life. A life that THEY choose. A life that THEY create through their conscious action. It's time for men to put themselves through the trials, the initiations and the rights of passage necessary to be able to rightfully claim his crown. 👑
And so his Queen.

She wants a man, not a boy. A magician, not a prankster. She wants a lover. Not someone who takes something from her. She wants a warrior. Not some hero seeking validation. She wants a King. Never a tyrant. She may have put up with the fun little games before. She had to go to the deepest depths of herself to find out who she really is. And now she knows what's possible. Now she is hungry. Now she's calling you out. Now she is telling you to claim what is yours or BE GONE!

She wants a good man. A loving man. A caring man. A man on a mission. A Benevolent man. A wise, conscious, and intelligent man. And the WORLD needs these men more than ever.

Author: Ryan Polin
Artist: Unknown

❤️ check the account for lots of tips to help you get there ❤️

I always find the space between the calendar new year and Chinese New Year, is a time when the world shifts and the gap between 'what you thought' the year would look like and 'what is', reveals itself like a veil in the mist...
..like you've walked out the door on New Years Eve, full of ideas on how the year is going to flow.... only to realise you left the iron on and need to return home... 'just for a second' you say... and when you re-emerge around Chinese New Year, the weather has changed and the world has shifted 'just enough' that you need a whole outfit change and an altered game plan...

You're still going to the ball and it's the same same... but oh so different. I love the magic that unfolds at this time.

Tomorrow is the first Full Moon of 2024. It is in Leo, inviting us to embrace our passion, celebrate our fire and let go of the things or people we are no longer in tune with.

✨️🌿🦋💜

I like this flow chart; I return to self and my body relaxes as I read it... understanding myself just a little more.

It is worth noting however, that fawning.... can I make it love me?... Is also a trauma response and belongs in here too

In the aftermath of trauma, many clients carry feelings of shame and self-blame about the way they responded during the event.

It’s because they don’t realize that they didn’t choose their trauma response – their nervous system made the decision for them.

That’s why we made this infographic for you to share with your clients.

To learn more about how to work with a client’s defense responses to trauma, check out NICABM's Free Broadcast of the Advanced Master Program on the Treatment of Trauma.

Click Here to Sign up for free ➡️ https://www.nicabm.com/program/master-program-on-treating-trauma-4/?del=6.12.23FBPost2