Joyfully Bliss

frozen lighthouse on Lake Michigan shore
📷: Thomas Zakowski

What is your favorite go to meal for a quick and easy dinner?

Is Relapse Really Part Of The Recovery Process?

When I first entered the rooms, I met Gary. 30-Day Gary, as he referred to himself. Gary laughed when he described his journey of falling down and getting back up again. Gary said he couldn't get more than 30 days clean/sober, hence the nickname. Gary joked a lot, but his smile never reached his eyes. I felt sad for him. I was newly sober and still very much humbled by the brutality of addiction. The relief I found in recovery was healing, and I wanted Gary to experience it, also. But sadly, he never did. Gary succumbed to his illness a few years later.

I was deeply affected by Gary's passing and wondered why he couldn't get more than 30 days. Didn't he try hard enough? Didn't he care enough? Was it something deeper?

Why did some people get sober while others could not?

Interestingly, I heard two opposing messages when I asked this question.

Some said relapse was part of recovery. It was no big deal.

Others said relapse was an act of addiction. It was a huge deal, and it never had to happen.

So I decided to investigate further.

Those opposing relapse said it was a dangerous message, as fentanyl is in most everything now and the risk of dying from an overdose is high.

Those claiming relapse is part of the recovery process say if relapse is seen as a shameful event and people feel shunned for it, no one will ever get well. Their theory is relapse is part of the recovery process. The message is clear; keep coming back.

So what is the answer?

Is there one?

I knew I had a substance abuse problem long before doing something about it. My friends and I would joke about it in the bar and order another round. It was cool and glamorous to be problematic and live on the edge. Screw society! We'd raise our glasses, mocking those hard-working nine-to-fivers.

I was courageous, brilliant, and bulletproof with drugs in my system.

Without them, I was just, well, me.

And me was what I was trying to escape from.

I would joke about my addiction. I'd talk about it, I'd admit it, but I never sought help for it. When I did something awful and got caught, I promised my family I'd quit. I'd white-knuckle until I couldn't stand myself any longer. I'd pick up for relief and repeat the cycle again. Only it would never play out quite the same way. Addiction is a progressive and chronic illness. I became sicker each time I relapsed, and the consequences worsened. Soon I was doing things I said I would never do. Then I would move my line. I'd add new things I wouldn't do and then tell myself my problem wasn't that bad. The trouble was I kept crossing my own lines. Eventually, I ran out of things I said I'd never do.

You can see the predicament. Stop using and suffer. Keep using and suffering. It seemed like a no-win situation.

I rebelled at the thought of going to inpatient treatment and didn't believe I needed it. But when all doors closed on me and I had nowhere else to go, I entered rehab unwillingly. I was stunned to learn I could get better despite not wanting to. Treatment not only saved my life but also taught me how to live it. When I embraced gratitude, willingness, and hard work, I blossomed and found strength in learning and doing new things. Going to rehab was like getting my Ph.D. in me.

Relapse is not a spur-of-the-moment decision. It's a culmination of thinking/emotions/events happening over time. Relapse has warning signs like negative thinking, feeling sorry for oneself, old behaviors, isolating, glorifying the good times being high while skipping over the bad, and being critical of friends, family, and self.

Looking back, I relapsed over and over again. It wasn't until I went to treatment that I stopped relapsing and started living. For me, sobriety is a mindset. Life vs. Death. I don't minimize relapse by calling it a slip. Slip implies you can get back up again. But with relapse, there are no guarantees.

I learned that if I wanted to stay sober, I must play the tape ALL the way through. Because if I do pick up again, I don't pick up the fun bits. I pick up where I left off and go from there… Which, for me, means a coffin.

More often than not, without recovery support, people will relapse at least once. As the pink cloud of sobriety wears thin (usually within one to three months) and the willingness to do step work, make amends, clean up past wreckage and follow directions dwindle, stinking thinking rears its ugly head, and gratitude flies out the window. It can take months or years to change addictive behavior patterns and develop better coping skills.

In treatment, I learned to reject the theory. Relapse happens when sobriety loses its priority. Relapse does not have to be part of the recovery process. If you're sick of being sick or know someone who is, reach out because success means putting the same effort into recovery as you did into addiction, and long-term sobriety is building a life you don't need to escape from.

*If you have relapsed please reach out because the only way you can fail at recovery is to quit trying*

Lorelie Rozzano
www.jaggedlittleedges.com

It is so hard to love with addiction

Sorry been Mia been sick

January 21 ~ Nar-Anon Daily SESH Reading
SPONSORSHIP
My sponsor told me all progress is in direct relation to how much pain I am no longer willing to endure. When my son was almost killed, had crack psychosis and faced ten years in prison, I was so afraid for him. I did not think I could survive.
I was desperate for tools. When a woman in a meeting shared that she had three adult sons who were in prison, I knew she was the sponsor for me. She was someone who knew what I was facing. She had what I wanted - a way to survive with children in prison.
With my sponsor's help, I learned to let go and let this child be an adult and suffer his own consequences for using drugs. I did what she told me to do: read literature, write, work the steps and do service. I learned to have confidence that whatever the addict had to go through, no matter how dire, even death, it was his journey, not mine. His fate hung in the balance many times. Today, many years later, my sponsor and I are grateful that, unlike their fathers, our sons are no longer in prison and have found recovery.
Thought for Today: I do what my sponsor did for me, especially when a newcomer comes to a meeting, I share my story. With this, the newcomer may realize they are no longer alone but among people who can understand their situation.
"Sponsors - get one, use one, be one." ~ Unknown
Copyright © 2007 by Nar-Anon Family Group Headquarters

Good morning everyone ! How are you all on this cold snowy morning?. I am just working on my never ending pile of laundry😵‍💫

Amen

Double rainbow 🌈

Oahu, Hawaii 📍

I know it is hard to reach out and get help it took me almost 2 years to get help. I am glad I did bc I now can function outside of my bedroom

Grief is so hard to live with and get past. It takes time and everyone grieves differently and in their own time

💯 truth!

My mental health has been a big struggle for me to survive. It has drugged me so low in to a pit of destruction. I finally sought help abc learnt that was ok. Started with baby steps of learning to cope and I do have set backs and that’s ok too. You are not alone if you struggle with mental health or addiction I pray that you seek help it is available and you can climb up out and make a come back. Is it going to be easy no but you can do it. Baby steps 1 day 1 hour 1 minute 1 sec whatever works for you

This is true but so many times the person can’t see those who has the most faith in them bc that demon is trying so hard to pull them backwards. Please don’t give up on them as they will struggle but if they are ready to fight they will need all the support they can get.