The Awakened Junkie

I was hesitant to post this for whatever reason but wanted to remind other women that they are not alone (and also remind myself).

I gained 85 lbs in my pregnancy 😳 I didn’t have that perfect pregnancy body (which doesn’t exist by the way but you know what I’m talking about). I saw that number keep going up and kept hearing “oh but you’re pregnant” 🤦🏻‍♀️ as if it were ok. By the way, I know the people who did say that had no ill intent, but now after birthing Ava, I’m 85 lbs over my normal weight with no cute belly 😩 (being 85 lbs over pregnant is a different look when you’re not pregnant lol).

I always knew that I used food as my escape but didn’t realize the extent. This isn’t “I just need to lose the last 10 lbs.” I need to do a complete lifestyle change because losing this amount of weight isn’t some 21 day quick fix. I look in the mirror and do not recognize myself. I’ve cried over it, but I realized that I can not hate this body into a body I love. This body gave me my BIGGEST blessing and I’m so grateful for it. Think about it? If you hated or disliked someone how would you treat that person? I needed to change how I viewed myself and do some shadow work as to why I switched hiding from myself from using drugs to now using food. I have a long way to go because I truly feel healing is a lifetime journey and I’ve just scratched the surface. I can always do and be better but this is just the beginning and I will do another post of why I think I self-sabotage and what I’m doing but I wanted to come on here to remind other women and myself that you and I are not alone. I did what I had to do or what I thought I had to do to survive this pregnancy and now I have to put it in the work.

The rest in the comments…….

Such a bittersweet moment. Even though I plan to continue to breastfeed for most of her meals, today we decided to introduce Ava to the bottle. To watch someone else feed her, even if it is her father is bittersweet. It’s just another reminder of how fast time goes by and how she’s getting bigger and that soon she’ll be graduating college 🥹 kidding but not kidding 😂

Does it give me more freedom? Of course, but I also know I’ll never have this moment again of me being able to feed her and I just want to cherish every single moment with her and just wrap it and put in a box 🥹😂

Motherhood has been the craziest ride I have ever been on but my favorite ride yet. It really has me cherishing every single moment of every day. It’s not just being her mother but having and by my side and doing it all together. ❤️

This needed it’s individual post 😌

On cloud nine.
Still can’t believe I’m your wife and that we are celebrating our honeymoon.
I love you ❤️

One week as Mrs. Chura ❤️

This time next week, I’ll be waking up as Mrs. Chura 👰🏻🤵🏻‍♂️

This needed its own post because the message was everything 😝🥰

People might look at you and say “you’re broken, but nope honey, I’m healing and I’m evolving every signal fu***ng day.” (I added the “F”bomb because it’s needed)

It might look messy, it might not look how you would think it would look but that’s fine because it’s not about you, it’s about me and it’s MY journey and I own it, however it might look. I’m not perfect but I’m not striving for perfection, I’m striving for progress, I’m striving to be a better me than I was a year ago, 6 months ago, yesterday, this morning……

How much do you love yourself and what are you willing to do to match that?

2 years ago today this man right here took me to my favorite hotel in south Florida, got down on one knee, and asked me to marry him 💍

I think within two months I had the venue, all my vendors and the date that we were going to get married. Well, as usual, life happened and plans changed🤦🏻‍♀️

We have gone through so much these past two years getting us ready for a lifetime to go. I love you so much babe and I can’t wait to spend forever with you. In 38 days I can officially all you my husband and the excitement (and anxiety lol) is REAL 😝

Get your dancing shoes on babe because I am ready to PARTAYYYY 💃🏻🕺🏻
12.11.2021

It’s going to be hard either way….
Which hard are you choosing for yourself?

TOUGH LOVE ❤️

I’m going to be crystal clear with you. I’m not here to sugar coat sh*t. I’m here to tell you how it is. I’m here to share my experience and I’m here to tell you what has worked for me.

If anything I say triggers a response, don’t get angry, sit with that feeling and ask yourself, why? Most likely it’s something that you need to deal with or heal from.

I will guide you and walk with you 10000% of the way. I will help you with WHATEVER you need. I will wake up at 4:00 AM if you need to press play at 4:30. I will write a meal plan for you. I will listen to you bitch and scream RIGHT before you get it done. I will be your BIGGEST supporter.

I will NOT listen to “Yea but ____”, “BUT____”, enter excuse….. 🚫

You know why? Because when you understand that YOU have control of and are the CREATOR of your life, because YES, YOU ARE THAT POWERFUL, you will get rid of everything that is stopping you and you WILL make it happen if and ONLY if it’s really a priority for you. 💫

So ask yourself…
Why aren’t you the most important priority in your life? What is stopping you from saying yes to yourself?

I will leave this right here…….
YOU ARE NOT SELFISH FOR TAKING CARE OF YOU FIRST. I’ll say it again, you can not give from an empty cup. If you are sick (mentally or physically) how will you serve others?

This is all just a friendly reminder to take responsibility, take action and when you are ready to do so…. I’ll be right here waiting for you. 🙋🏻‍♀️

Let’s talk about limitations……

This is what having a limitation sounded like for me….

No, because I hate doing workouts at home. ❌
No, because I’m not motivated at home.❌
No, because I need some type of trainer or something to push me.
No, because another pyramid scheme? Another one of those businesses?❌
No, because I don’t want to sound salesy.❌
No, because I don’t want to be that person asking people and blah blah blah……❌

aaannnndddd where did all those No’s get me? absolutely NOWHERE 🤦🏻‍♀️

It’s all about your mindset. If these are the things your mind believes then these are the things that will come true or BE true to you. The more limitations you place on yourself the more limitations will come true in your life.

If you were to change the narrative...
What would your life look like?

I know for me, I have more energy, I’m more secure in my body, I know that I’m pushing myself out of my comfort zone which has me feeling all the feels 😝 I’m able to handle stress better, I’m part of an amazing community, (just to name a few)..

November is around the corner and 2021 is almost to an end. How will the last two months look like for you if you got rid of your limitations?

What in the ACTUAL F**K!!! If today’s SUPER SUNDAY was just a snippet of what coach summit or leadership is 😳 I mean what a community to be a part of. To actually CARE about not just your own but the personal growth of others 💫💫💫

We got to workout with herself 😝 which was badass to say the least but if the workout wasn’t badass enough or the networking, or the energy of everyone around, or the stories, and the successes or the etc. etc…. It was one thing that said that REALLY stood out.

WE DO THE HARD THINGS IN FITNESS SO THAT WE CAN DO THE HARD THINGS IN LIFE 😳

The coaches who win are not the ones who don’t fail, who don’t get the hard times and want to quit, who want to say no but the coaches who take action and get up and try again. The coaches who win are the coaches who KEEP GOING when times get tough. 🤩🤩🤩

I was listening to a webinar earlier this month and how awesome to be with a company that pays you for personal growth and to help others do the same😌

What some of my favorite people like to say. Enough with the “Yea, buts….” You will literally ALWAYS find an excuse. I know I did🙃

Let’s do this. Who wants to join this tribe?🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏽‍♀️

How it all started 5 years ago today ❤️😝

PERSONAL GROWTH FOR ME, WILL BE A FOREVER THING 💫

I seriously can’t have enough of these self help books. I literally have a container full of these kind of books. I have so many that I forgot I had some of these when I grabbed them to take this picture. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Let me rewind a little. I should have died 10x over. You might be saying to yourself, “Mari, you’re being dramatic.” The thing is, I’m not. When I was in active addiction I put myself in situations and in places that it is a MIRACLE that I am still here.

I believe in my heart of hearts that there is a higher purpose as to why the universe chose to keep me here. This is why for me, personal growth will be a forever thing. I am here to learn, to grow, to be my BEST self. I owe it to the universe, to myself, to my family, to my future family.

EVERYONE has a higher purpose as to why they are here. You don’t have to go through some traumatic event, unfortunately and FORTUNATELY FOR ME, I had to and that’s ok because everyone’s journey is different and that’s what makes life so beautiful.

Everyday, you and I have an opportunity to show up as our best selves. To continue to learn and be who we were meant to be.

What books have you been reading lately? How are you showing up?

WHY NOT ME? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yes, If you noticed, I’m not in one of those pictures, but that’s ok. These are the pictures that had me think to myself..Why not me? These women started EXACTLY where I did. If she can do it, then SO CAN I ❤️‍🔥

They all had different journey’s to get to where they are now, but what they all had in common is that they ALL started on DAY 0 with a vision.

They wanted better for themselves and for others ✨
They wanted better for their families ✨
They had goals and are willing to do what it takes to get there✨
They didn’t take NO for an answer✨
They wanted financial freedom✨
They wanted freedom from a 9-5 job ✨
They said YES to themselves and to a life beyond their wildest dreams✨

Is it going to be hard? Will this take me out of my comfort zone? Is it and will it be scary? 🤦🏻‍♀️
YES, YES, and MORE YES
…but by the words of Theodore Roosevelt..
📣“Nothing worth having was ever achieved without effort.” 📣🙏🏼🙌🏼

WHY NOT YOU?

If this is the same question you’re asking yourself then let me know. Message me. Let’s build this empire together 👑

Manifesting a special kind of home gym but until then my family room will do, and it’s doing just fine. 🏋🏻‍♂️

Up to 7 weeks ago this space was an absolute no to working out for all the reasons that kept me from where I am today and now I couldn’t imagine doing it anywhere else. ❤️

✔️Remember to stay grateful
✔️Remember that a thought is just that - a thought - don’t allow it to keep you to not move forward
✔️Do what you can with what you have 💪🏼

I MADE A COMMITMENT 💪🏼

I made a commitment 6 weeks ago to and here is my halfway mark photo. I started my 7th week today 🙌🏼

Honestly, I didn’t want to post that picture on the left because I was so embarrassed of how I let myself go but I’m here to show you the good, the bad, and the ugly 😝

I read a lot of photos and the captions and what everyone writes and it’s true. Even though this isn’t my first rodeo with transformation and losing weight, I forgot how it’s not just about the destination and how much growth there is in the journey. It is more about just the number on the scale or the way your body looks. BUT LET’S BE HONEST HERE. When I took that picture on the right and compared it to the picture on the left. THAT FELT F**KING GOOD !!!!
I have been kicking ass these last 6 weeks and NO MATTER WHAT, I get up and get my workout done and I eat food that fuels my body.

The thing is you change when you commit and follow through. When you make a commitment and are determined to accomplish that commitment and ACTUALLY follow through - THAT’S GROWTH - you are not the same person than when you started. You said yes to yourself when you wanted to say no and that takes discipline and discipline takes courage to push through your comfort zone. So although it’s not just about the number, it doesn’t hurt to be proud of that body change and stare yourself at the mirror just a couple of minutes more than you would have 😝

IT’S MONDAY BIIIITTCHHESSSSS ❤️‍🔥 LET’S GET IT 😎

Why?……

Because of the energy it gives me, because of the better sleep I get, because I want to feel good in my own skin, because I want to look better naked 😝, because I want better health, because of the better focus, because I want to show up for whoever, for whatever the best way I can ☀️

I DO IT FOR ME 🙌🏼

I’m probably missing a few but you get the point….
When I’m eating the right foods and adding movement in my day, I feel more aligned. I’m sleeping better, making better decisions, handling my stress better, I have more energy to tackle the day. I feel better as a whole.

I would be lying if I said I never looked at the scale 👀 and most times to be honest, when I fall off the wagon that number is one of the reasons why I get back on track, but once I do, I remember all of those reasons why I do it in the first place.

One last thing, your why is what’s going to keep you going when time gets tough. The motivation with the rainbows and unicorns won’t always be there, but remembering your why will 🌱

What’s your why?

We drank ceremonial cacao
We journaled
We cried
We shared
We flowed
We danced
We bathed in sound
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Most importantly we set intentions and we let go of what doesn’t serve us 🙌🏼
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This full moon is in Pisces ♓️ the Harvest Moon. This moon brings forth so much cleansing and releasing to have the space needed for the more authentic you. We all deserve to live an alignment with our purpose, with our highest self. Get rid and let go of what is holding you back to get there.
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Last night I released judgement and control.
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What’s holding you back? What are you willing to let go of?

IF NOTHING CHANGES, NOTHING CHANGES
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Yesterday I grabbed my journal that I started in 2019. I’m not consistent but I wrote enough to read that things that I felt from 2019 to present day are the same. I do believe the first step to any change is awareness but now that I am aware I need to act and make the change. I kept reading page after page and NOTHING HAS CHANGED. I wasn’t taking action, and now 2 years later I’m in the same spot.
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For all the reasons that I have allowed to stress me out these past two years, I’ve leaned on food and I wasn’t working out because well “I just can’t workout from home.”
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I kept telling myself this story in my head that if I wasn’t going to the gym or somewhere that was not my living room I just couldn’t work out. I wasn’t motivated, I would stop half way, no-one was there to push me…etc. Every excuse in the book.
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The thing is, LIFE HAPPENS, and I have to adapt. All those excuses kept me right in the same place that I was 2 years ago. Not feeling good in my own skin, gaining the weight I have worked so hard to lose, lack of energy and the list goes on. These made up stories in my head kept me from taking the action I needed to take to make the change in my life.
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I had to make a decision. Either stay miserable or get rid of these stories in my head. Fast forward 3 weeks and I have committed to from . I have a community of like-minded people who show up everyday and keep me accountable. I get up, press play, and go on with my day.
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Don’t be like me. Don’t wake up 2 years later and be in the same spot because of stories you tell yourself that ARE NOT TRUE. Here is the sign you need to make the change right here, RIGHT NOW. If you’re looking for that extra push, for that accountability, I’m right here. Let me help you, reach your goals.