What Do Ya Know Joe? - Joseph Gerbofsky

Down with Trump!!!

Massachusetts voters become latest to try and keep Trump off ballot over Jan. 6 attack Five Republican and Democratic voters in Massachusetts have become the latest to challenge former President Donald Trump's eligibility to appear on the Republican primary election ballot, claiming he is ineligible to hold office because he encouraged and did little to stop the Jan. 6, 2021, attack o...

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Who wants to talk about Anxiety?

Anxiety is one of the most pronounced of mental disorders/struggles and happens literally to us all, almost daily, and at differing levels of disruption in our lives. Anxiety can be a friend to us, as well as, our ultimate enemy at times. Anxiety has the ability to prepare us for fight or flight when it is needed, but it can also break us down out of nowhere and for no reason. So, what is anxiety all about really?

Many struggle with Social Anxiety usually starting from a very young age where children are trying to figure out who they are and what they are all about. Even more anxiety ridden is the wanting to belong and feel like you are a part of something, when this is missing it really takes a toll on our emotions and how we feel about ourselves. Fear is one of the main components that elicits this state of anxiety, and usually is wrapped in an idea that we just aren’t good enough, can’t succeed, don’t belong, and the “what if’s” of life such as, “what if they don’t like me?” These thoughts that are usually sugar coated in fear cause us to freeze, quit, and run away from situations despite there potentially being nothing wrong in the first place. Its our thoughts that actually cause things to be worse then they actually are, and can even be totally unrealistic and irrational.

Have you ever had butterflies in your stomach before having to give a speech in class, or before a sporting event, or how about when you go to your first party? When I was a teenager, believe it or not, I used to be pretty shy. I was friends with everyone, BUT I always would tread softly as to not rustle people’s emotional feathers out of fear I would eventually be rejected. I was afraid to go to parties because of this, and often times wound up regretting not going to a party when my friends would tell me the very next day about how awesome it was. So why wasn’t I able to look beyond all the fear mongering I did to myself? As we grow older we gain life experience, some gain at a quicker rate then others due to various factors, BUT these life experiences are what shape us throughout our lives. These experiences mold our personality, biases, relationships, sense of humor (or lack thereof), and many other key features to who we are as a fellow human. However, when anxiety rears its ugly head it can quickly put a stop to this type of endeavor and leave people feeling less than and hopeless/helpless. It wasn’t until my Junior year in high school when I came to the understanding that I was tired of being afraid, and even more tired of missing out on potential fun times. It was at this point I made a decision to TRY…try to be more outgoing…try to be more open to new experiences even if there was a potential catastrophe awaiting me. All in all, I did have a few catastrophes, BUT they weren’t to the extreme that my thoughts had previously made them out to be. Some of these less than par experiences allowed me to practice other social ques and quirks that I have honed over time. Eventually, after remaining consistent with facing my fears I slowly started to notice my anxiety begin to diminish. Don’t get me wrong, I still have bouts of anxiety from time to time, but I am apt to fight through the excuses and fears I wash over myself when faced with a new activity, social event, or the ever-sought-after party.

So, how do we deal with anxiety head on? Some people just don’t have the “fight” in them to face their own demons unfortunately, and many have to seek reprieve through the use of medication. I personally frown on medications because over my years I have seen too many situations where medications have traded one problem for another. For example, I have seen clients report having much less anxiety BUT they no longer feel like the SAME PERSON. In other words, the medication helped to decrease the anxiety, BUT their personality took a hit, and because they realized this change it presented a NEW type of worry or anxiety. I propose that we all have the innate ability to deal with our various internal struggles. Now I understand that there are individuals in the world that have genetic predispositions to anxiety, depression, etc and its these individuals that NEED medications to help them create a NEW BASELINE for themselves in order to function. However, most people I have met throughout my life that struggle with anxiety normally had the innate ability to manage their anxiety, but just needed to find THE WAY THAT WORKED FOR THEM. Now I am not here to preach to the choir, but I am sure we all know that not every single coping skill available works for everyone. I have tried journaling, deep breathing, counting to 10 or backwards from 10 but I found none of these really did the trick. At this point some might just quit all together and mark it up as if they are just an anxiety ridden person…this is the worst thing you could do in all honesty as labeling yourself as your struggle is nothing more than enabling it into deeper levels. The best thing to do is ask yourself why you are anxious. You would be surprised what you might find yourself telling yourself lol. Its usually the answer to this question that will lead to an answer to your struggle. Some might answer that they shouldn’t be anxious at all, which is a perfectly logical answer, and one that might end the struggle immediately. However, sometimes this questioning will bring light to outlying issues that you can internally address, create game plans to manage, or immediately choose to move into use of a coping strategy. When I get anxious, I always ask myself if I should be anxious at all or am I just overthinking things. If I find myself overthinking things, I will then take a step back from the issue and challenge my thinking pattern. Having someone to talk to is always a great help, as they may be able to bring about other perspectives for you to buy into, which usually helps chip away at the encroaching anxiety. The more individuals practice challenging their anxiety ridden thoughts the easier it gets over time to thwart its encroachment. You know what they say…practice makes better.

Some people I have worked with over the years have leaned away from pharmaceuticals and have moved into other alternative remedies. One of which is the use of THC or Delta 8/9, THC is still illegal in Indiana, and you do get trace doses and can screen positive for THC if given a urinalysis with the use of Delta 8/9, but many who have taken the risk have sworn that it helps in mitigating their anxiety-based struggles.

Last but not least, there is the practice of “facing your fears.” This of course is one of the hardest routes to take, BUT it can be very effective and long lasting if adequately practiced. This method postures that instead of hiding from your fears, for example shying away from going to a social event, you explain to yourself how ridiculous your thoughts are being and put yourself out there anyways. YES, I know this is RAW and DIFFICULT, but it works if wielded correctly and even more effective if you’re able to dismantle the irrational beliefs that brought about your fears to begin with. In many cases, gaining the experience that a situation isn’t as bad as it seemed is enough for people to start looking past the fears as a second nature practice…this takes commitment, patience, and time.

Just some thoughts on the matter, hope it was helpful, and please feel free to add to the content.

Helpful link: https://psychiatry.org/patients-families/anxiety-disorders/what-are-anxiety-disorders

Who wants to talk about ANGER?

Good ol’ Anger, something we all have felt and become the essence of at some points in our lives. Many people do their damnedest to prevent anger from coming to the surface, while others wallow in a pool of it each day spreading it like wildfire. Many look at anger as a weakness, something holding back progress, or something that simply pushes to divide and conquer. However, after all the years I have worked with people struggling with anger, including myself who’s whole childhood was based in anger (thank God for hockey and football or I would have been lost into oblivion), some of us come to a realization that anger isn’t the real problem, but rather how it is wielded and managed that is the main factor that labels it as good or bad.

Now there are many studies that have been done that show that long states of anger or frequent anger disruptions without intervention or solution can become a major health risk for people. For some it negatively affects their lives, relationships, family ties, friendships, etc. If left unmanaged it can lead to drastic situations like breaking the law or acting out aggressively toward others or even themselves. However, there is also a flip side to this coin for those that have worked hard to manage their anger by being more self-aware and mindful with themselves. Anger can lead to an increase in focus and energy. I know this for a fact, because when I get angry and cant got to the gym I clean the house or go and do yard work, always something that I usually don’t like to do but I do it efficiently and fast. Anger has also allowed for me to excel at sports, BUT if you allow it to get too far out of control it can become a major deficit to your performance.

So, my main question here is: is Anger therapeutic for us? I mean, we all get angry, and it’s built into our fight or flight processes, so it must have a purpose beyond just ruining our lives. I have found over my course as a therapist that anger or confrontation (therapeutic of course) during session can lead to an increase in arousal states (state of openness and sharing in this example). It helps me work with clients (usually teens) that want to play the silent game or play social games in general, and its this confrontation that elicits a response, despite it being enveloped in anger its still a response, and in my eyes that’s progress for someone not looking to talk at all or buy into therapy. This anger that they elicit usually comes from a place of insecurity and misunderstanding, or it could come from a place of trauma and hurt which I usually call “unfinished business.” Either way, it’s a message and a cry for help. I have always been told that bottling up emotions is a bad thing and can lead to an emotional explosion if not dealt with appropriately and this is absolutely true.

So, what happens if those that deal with anger issues learn why they are angry and how to manage it in a way that it can lead to a productive state? If they were able to get to an understanding like this the world could be their oyster, but they just have to work a little harder to maintain their emotional state. This is where OUTLETS come into play. If someone has struggles managing their anger, then they should be seeking an appropriate outlet to unleash the beast if you will. Some people play sports, some people utilize coping skills in the moment, some people channel their energies in a different way rather than outward anger and aggression. These activities and practices need to be something that the individual is willing to do no matter what. Ill also recommend that these individuals have multiple avenues of support, because doing the same thing all the time overtime will lose effectiveness at some point. For example, if I went to the gym everyday and did the same routine everyday I would completely lose my mind and not have the want to do it anymore at some point. With that said, it’s a good idea to change things up from time to time to keep things interesting and effective.

Anger can be an asset if wielded correctly. It propelled me through some tough sporting events. It helped me deal with adversity in the Military. It has been an energizer when I needed the energy to adapt and overcome at times. At the end of the day, I accepted the fact that I get angry at times, and I made a conscious decision that my anger would not be used to hurt those that I loved, that it wouldn’t be used to hold myself back, and that it wouldn’t be used when things just didn’t go my way. However, it’s a daily battle to maintain this type of mentality and without self-awareness the plan will fail. For those that aren’t very self-aware I would recommend journaling in order to become comfortable with documenting your mood states, what thoughts you were having at the time, ASK YOURSELF QUESTIONS as to whether you should even be angry or not (you would be surprised how many people realize that their anger is a false flag and based on unfinished business that had nothing to do with the moment or event at that time), and how you WANT TO THINK AND FEEL rather than angry…these things will normally lead to a better state of self-awareness and understanding.

All in all, anger has its place in this world. As we grow and change our uses of anger change, but what’s even more important is how we keep our anger in check and under control. Some people just feel they can’t control their anger and simply give up. I have had some clients give up after a hand full of sessions because they felt their anger was just too pronounced...when this happens I always ask the client how much work have they actually done to quell their anger or even understand it. You would be surprised that many people deflect and run away from their anger and the problems that create it, left to live a life of struggle. It doesn’t have to be this way. The anger that they struggle with just simply needs to be questioned and understood, in hopes that it can be wielded more effectively and proficiently. To work to never be angry again is an impossible feat...anger is a part of us...especially in the world we currently live in, we just need to better understand it and use it proficiently instead of being self destructive.

I have added a URL that I think many people would like in regards to learning more about Anger and various therapies, and please if you liked this topic or would like to add/comment please do.

https://positivepsychology.com/anger-management-therapy/

11 Anger Management Therapy Techniques and Interventions We break down the psychology behind anger management and how anger management therapy works, and share helpful interventions.

Who wants to talk about Coping Skills??? Something we ALL NEED!

Hello folks! So, I have been getting a lot of messages from people asking me about Coping Skills, what works and what doesn’t? I have worked a long time in the Mental Health Industry and have worked with all different types of populations. Over this time I have comes across so many people with different problems, different personalities, different drives and levels of motivation, different backgrounds, and different cultures. I have learned that not every coping skill works for everyone, that there is a determining factor in most people that will allow or not allow a coping skill to actually work. Not every coping skill I use will work for others and vice versa. With that said its really up to the individual to determine what works for them and what doesn’t, and this takes motivation and determination to procure.

For example, my main coping skills are to go to the gym regularly or do something that preoccupies me temporarily in order to allow me to ease down and contemplate my next move or decision. The gym has always been a go to for me because it works for me. I am able to truly focus on ME, work the mind and body connection, and in doing so I am able to leave all that emotional garbage in the gym and walk out with a sense of peace and accomplishment. Video games have also been a coping skill I have used BUT it can be hit or miss at times as there have been plenty of times I walk away from my console angrier than I started with. Now I am not saying playing video games doesn’t work, because it is a great way to preoccupy, but it can work against you depending on the type of demand the game puts on you. Floating (sensory deprivation tanks) has always been a great way for me to just LET GO of responsibilities, obligations, and stress as it provides TRUE ME TIME in darkness and silence if preferred. For me this was a game changer that I never thought would actually work, but floating helped me to slow down and focus on my mind and body relationship, provide time to properly address life struggles in a safe environment, and at the same time provide a sense of relaxation and peace.

I have met many people over the years, and the coping skills that they have said worked for them have been scattered to say the least. I have had people that rather use breathe work or count backwards from 10. I have had people who prefer to take long walks or go hiking. I have had people who prefer to journal in order to ascertain patterns in their emotional state and determine from there what life changes they need to make. The list is truly endless when it comes to coping skills, and it is truly based on what the individual is enthusiastic about, what gets their attention, and what they are WILLING TO DO to better their state of consciousness.
I have added a URL to a website that I found to be full of great information on Coping Skills, please take a look if you feel so inclined, and I hope you all find one that fits your need.

https://positivepsychology.com/coping-skills-worksheets/

Hello Everyone and Welcome to my Fan Page where I hope we are all able to generate some awesome philosophical conversation and understanding!

I know many are probably wondering what this page is really all about, and I am happy to explain. Over the past decade I have been brewing about starting a platform that would allow for REAL conversation to happen. I have watched how division has taken place in America and around the world, where conversations get shot down simply because people allow their own personal biases or doubts to saturate the possibility of conversation and understanding. I want to circumvent this obstacle and offer a safe place for conversation. Now I know not all conversations will be 100% understanding, and that’s fine as we all tend to disagree from time to time, BUT KNOWLEDGE IS POWER, no matter how you slice it, whether its right or wrong knowledge will always provide us the benefit of helping us make an educated decision.

So, where am I going with this? I want to create a space where we can all talk about various things, from Life Lessons, Tips, and Tricks to some of the most mundane of things that constantly interrupt our lives. I plan to have this page present proactive means to balance one’s life, answer questions that we all think about but never take the time to understand, and to even dive into niches/modalities that may interest others that they never knew they would be interested in. I want this page to provide self-help techniques that will help us maintain balance in our Mind, Body, and Souls, because at the end of the day your mind is what keeps you in tandem with the world so we all should work hard to make sure we are at our optimum levels of cognition and understanding.

With that said, lets all make sure we help in creating a safe space for conversation, be open-minded to others contributions, and be respectful of differences of opinion and of each other.

I again Welcome Everyone to my page and hope we all can provide each other with wisdom and ways in which to better ourselves in our own personal lives and beyond.