Girl Get Real

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If there is one thing that I’ve learned this summer is that life is uncertain, however you can have hope in the uncertainty. You can be living your normal life, and then bombs hit your life: a loved one dies, you become sick, you have a job loss… Personally, I was in a car accident. Thankfully, there were no serious injuries; it left me with a concussion. The concussion wasn’t the only thing that was left with me. A new level of fear, guilt, shame, hopelessness, and weakness was left with me. However, a couple months later, I gained a new sense of wonder for God, a new hope, and a new strength.

I struggled this summer with anxiety and depression the most I have in a while. It often left me asking the questions of “Why God? What’s the purpose in this?” Some days I still want to ask that. While I do not know the specific answers to those questions on the accident, concussion, depression, and anxiety, I know a few things.

I’ve learned that even in trials…worship in the valley. When I was at my lowest points, worshiping God by singing songs with truth in them reminded me of God’s truth. It reminded me of God’s faithfulness, sovereignty, protection, and love. Because I knew these things, I could worship Him for who He is and what He would do even if I didn’t fully understand it. My human brain will never fully understand God’s plan, but I should be able to marvel at it. Also, worshipping reminds me to be joyful in the valley, because I know God has a plan (James 1:2).

I was reminded of the importance of community. It was through the community of church family that I was encouraged, loved, and challenged. They encouraged me by reminding me of God's truth. They carried my burdens with me by praying and empathizing with me (Gal. 6:2). They challenged me to bring all of my sorrows to God even if it was messy (Psalm 55:22). Over the summer, I was like an onion being peeled back one layer at a time. While I had to give all my burdens to God, it took time. Sometimes all I could do was pour out to God about one feeling at a time. So while life is uncertain, we can worship, find joy in God’s plan, and find community to walk through it with.

: )
Girl Get Real

This summer was the hardest one of my life. Let’s just say camp expectations reality. Days were long, hard, and hot, and the sun seldom set without one of my friends shedding tears.

One of the first days at camp I asked the Lord why. Why me? Why here? Why now? My camp didn’t seem as Christian as advertised and I felt like I was wasting my summer.

The Lord, rich in mercy, began to answer my prayers. I’m here to share the light of Christ. I’m here for Lord to grow me. I’m here to learn to be a humble servant.

Quickly I found that God had his hand on camp. At first glance, camp may not have seemed as Christian as expected, but the camp itself is made up of ziplines, blobs, and a soft serve machine. The people who work there, however, love the Lord with their whole heart, and their lives reflect it.

I learned this summer that forever God has been faithful, and forever he will remain faithful. The Lord is faithful to His plans, not my own. The Lord is faithful to grow me, use me, and love me. The Lord faithfully works in ways that I cannot see. The Lord is faithfully moving mountains in the mundane.

Dear friend, I want to challenge you, if you don’t see the Lord moving mountains in your midst, pray that he moves them, and pray that your eyes be opened to the movement.

He is the potter, and we are the clay. Lord, melt me, mold me, fill me, and use me for your purpose and plan.

xo,
Keep it real

I know it’s been a while, but retouching on the last post, I’ve explained that when it came to making new friendships I struggled with guilt and jealousy. I touched a bit on how I had to really look at my friendship in order to move past these feelings.
First, I had to do was hand over my friendship to God! I had to trust that God would protect and that relationship was for His glory. How did I do this? I started praying for that friendship and that friend. I stopped praying to God about it from a selfish angle, which was not easy, and from a selfless angle. I prayed that God would protect it. I prayed that my friend would be able to make godly friends: friends that would point her to Christ, friends to make her laugh, and friends to cry with her. If I loved her as much as I said I did then I should want to share her. Once I realized that my friendship was not mine, but was God’s then I was able to have peace and freedom from the guilt and jealous, because I was trusting God first and putting Him and her before myself.

The second thing I had to do was be intentional with relationships. I had to be intentional with the friendships I was making or the one I was trying to protect. I couldn’t always just expect for those relationships to thrive if I didn’t put in the work. I had acquaintances that I had met through a new church and a new job. I started conversations with them. I asked them to hang out. I took initiative to make friends. I tried to do the same for my beloved friendship. I had to make the time to hang out with her. Along with spending intentional time with people, I had to ask intentional questions. Genuinely ask questions, but along with that ask different questions or deep question and then listen.

Any good thing takes time. Be gracious and patient. Looking back now, I’ve seen that it’s been the praying and the intentionality that planted seeds for new and old friendships to grow. I had my nights of crying to God out of fear of making new friendships and loosing old ones. However, it’s when I center God in the middle of my life, including in the middle of my relationships, that I find peace instead of guilt and jealousy.
: )
Keep it real

At some point in your life, you most likely have had at least one close friend. Now, you may even have had a group of close friends. Personally, I had three good friends during childhood, but one really stuck with me through the years. We grew up together. It eventually just became a fact that if you could find one of us at an event you could probably find the other. However, we hit a point in our lives that we were going separate directions. We found ourselves in different social, school, church, and work activities. We had most always done everything together. We had other small friendships, but nothing like ours. When I hit the point of doing different things than her, I found myself struggling to make friends in those other areas of life.
I struggled to make friends because I felt guilty. I had spent so much time on that one relationship and didn’t allow myself to invest in other relationships that when it came time for other friendships, I felt guilty. I felt like I was leaving her behind. The truth was we were growing up and going in different directions and that was okay. I had to become okay with change and to trust God. I could no longer trust in myself to make my friendship survive or to find new ones. I had to trust on God’s plan. (Proverbs 3:5) When I did this, I began to not feel as guilty when I began to make other friends.
I struggled to make friends because I was jealous. Now this may be the hardest feeling for me to admit. When it came time for her to make other friendships, I was jealous. I didn’t want to be replaced. I didn’t want to replace her, which goes back to feeling guilty about making other friendships myself. Truthfully, I didn’t want her to have as close of a friendship with someone else as she did with me. How selfish! I knew this, which led to more guilt. I just got stuck in this circle of guilt and jealousy that I never wanted to admit. (James 3:13-18)
The process of handling these feelings has not been easy. I tried fitting this part of the story of this post, but there’s not enough room. Watch out for the rest of the story in part 2.

: )
Keep it real

2 Corinthians 6:14-18

The Bible says that we shouldn’t be unequally yoked in our relationships, so what does that mean, and how can we do it?

A yoke refers to the wood or metal harness that an ox would wear to pull a wagon or cart. In many cases, a set of oxen were used to carry a larger burden. Whenever a set of oxen were used to pull a load together their yokes were connected on a continuous piece of metal or wood. This means that no matter what, the oxen could not separate themselves from one another.

For this reason it was important that these oxen were similar. If the oxen were not the right fit for each other (for example a baby ox yoked with a 5 year old ox) then a few issues would arise. First off, it would be very difficult for them to work efficiently because their attempts to work together would fail because they were doomed at the start. This is not to say that this set of oxen would always fail, but at this moment, the baby ox is no where near as developed as the older ox, putting the baby ox in a position that it is not ready for. Secondly, this relationship between these oxen would not work because either the younger ox would be slowing down the older ox, or the baby ox would be dragged by the older ox. This would probably cause the oxen to get irritated and they would become less cooperative. Seeing as this example demonstrates how important it is for animals to be equally yoked, it is even more imperative for our dating relationships (as christians) to be equally yoked.

So what does an equally yoked relationship look like for Christians? It looks like two believers seeking a relationship to glorify God and to find a spouse.

When we step into a relationship without evaluating where we are and where the other person is, we are setting ourselves up for failure.

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 explains that an unequally yoked relationship for a believer does not make sense. This passage also asks “What fellowship does light have with darkness.” We are not to use dating as a form of conversion but we are to use dating as a way to glorify God & to edify the church.

Keep on, keeping on 😎

The Lord is the great giver of all things. Today, I thought I’d reflect on how greatly God has blessed me in my own life. However, I know that life isn’t always peachy keen, so I am making two lists, and I encourage you to do the same.

The first list is my simplest joys; the moments I am at my happiest.
1. Waking up early (oddly enough I’m not a morning person) to read my Bible on the beach before everyone else comes out.
2. Late night at camp when someone pulls out a guitar and you simply praise the Lord.
3. Sunshine and hammocks
4. Two words: snow cones.
5. When someone you’ve been witnessing to has an “ah-ha!” moment

The second list is joys that don’t always seem so joyful.
1. When you miss your best friend
2. Siblings
3. Sleep
4. No-phone zones
5. When you can’t drink the water in a foreign country.

I’m sure that some of these things confuse you. I spent a while thinking about these ten, but especially the last five. These are things that make me grateful for my blessings.
Thank you, God for my best friend,
For my siblings, even though we bicker,
For allowing me to sleep, because you know how my brain likes to keep me up,
For allowing me to have real, technology free connection with people,
And for allowing me to safely drink the water that comes from the sink.

God has given us so many blessings, however, we can get stuck in periods where we focus on what he hasn’t given us or what has gone wrong. We become entitled. The way we break through the entitlement is by seeing what the Lord has given us and knowing that He owes us nothing. God has already given us the greatest gift, redemption through Christ Jesus. God has given us himself. When we take a step back and see how the Lord has provided, we should smile, and we should fall to our knees and pray.

Heavenly father,
I cannot muster enough words to express my gratitude towards you.
Help me to count my blessings and see them as evidence of your faithfulness in my life.
Help me to see your blessings in the easy times and the hard.
And God, help me to want the blesser more than the blessing.
Amen

Xo, keep it real

One of the biggest lessons that God has been teaching me this year is the importance of dying to my fleshly desires.

Growing up, I struggled with my testimony because there was no big life change. I was just a kid going about my life, what did I need to change? In middle and high school, I never drank, smoked, or vaped. I didn’t sneak out or do anything I didn’t want my parents to know about. I was, by worldly standards, a good kid. So, what was there to change? This is a question that we need to ask ourselves, what needs to change? The answer will never be “nothing.” Something needs to change.

Summer of 2020 I sat on the beach one morning and prayed that God would reveal to me the sin in my life. And, girl, did he provide. It’s like my life was covered in invisible ink and God turned a black light on. I saw the sin in my life and was overwhelmed with conviction.

I had a choice: kill my sin or let my sin kill me.

Turning from your sin is not as easy as pulling the plug. It’s hard. You have to look at sin, something that tastes so sweet, and say no. It’s just so easy to sin. It is hard to turn from your sin, to repent. But nothing worth doing is easy.

It’s a daily choice, to die to my flesh, to choose God’s desires over my own. Some days, I wonder if it’s worth it, and on those days, I remind myself of the eternal treasures that I’m storing up in heaven. When I choose God over myself, I choose the greatest thing. I set aside my pride to proclaim that the Lord is better than me. Dying to myself is hard, but it is through that death that I grow closer in my likeness and love for the Lord.

xo,
Keep it real

Love is not just a feeling, but also a commitment. Dating & relationships part 1

Most of us, at one point or another, has longed for a relationship. We desire to find someone who compliments our personality and wants to care for us. This isn’t a bad thing. However, there is lots of bad dating advice out there; so it’s not surprising to see high divorce rates and many relationships only lasting months. Thankfully, the Bible presents us with loads of wisdom on how to have a fruitful relationship (dating, familial, etc.).

Here are two Biblical tips on how to have a healthy and lasting relationship:

1. Love & seek the Lord first

If Christ is not prioritized in the relationship, other idols will be. These idols can be your significant other, yourself, your time, and/or several other things. Prioritizing an idol rather than Jesus will hurt your relationship as it will glorify things other than Christ and you may find yourself seeking Jesus less.

2. Remember that we are to walk in love.

Relationships may stem from positive emotions (take “falling in love” for example), but they need more than positive emotions to survive. We can love people in several different ways. For example, we can give acts of service to a loved one to show our gratitude for them.

At the same time, loving someone can also be showing grace and forgiveness (1 Peter 4:8). If married couples were to get divorced every time conflict arose, then marriage would be no different than dating. Likewise, as Christians it is recommended to use dating to work towards marriage rather than dating to have someone around. This is for several reasons, but most relevant is the fact that dating with no end goal of marriage only brings chaotic emotions.

In the same way that our post-salvation works show our love for Christ, our works & actions within our relationships show our love for others.

Keep on, Keeping on 😎

One of the things that I struggle with the most is trust. I have had a lot happen to me in my 19 years of life and my capability of trusting God’s plan has varied. One big event that caused me to have trust issues was middle school. I was bullied all three year of middle plus 5th grade. I had no self confidence, I constantly would come crying because of how I was treated. I didn’t understand why God was putting me through so much pain and hardship. I was constantly being hurt and nothing changed for a while. I talked to my parents and sister to get advice and they taught me how to fend for myself and stand up to others. I “grew a spine” as my mom would say. One thing that my parents used to help me was scripture. They showed me places in the bible that tell us about God’s love for us and how he shows it. Like how he made us in his image.(Gen. 1:27) God is perfect and holy and righteous. He made us to be like him one day. So if we complain and say that we are flawed and we are mistakes then we would be saying that God messed up and he himself is flawed. This shows our lack of trust in what he doing and why. I learned that even though I was going through this hard time, God was going to use it to benefit myself and others. Which we would one day see. So I had to pray to God for strength and to win the battle I was fighting, as well as courage to share my story with others. Trust is still something that I really struggle with to this day especially with all the things that happened to me during covid. However, I am still learning and trying my best to know that God is in control and he is doing what is best for me even though I don’t see it yet. • God could put you through hard times and get you out of them and be done. But instead, a lot of times you will be able to see at least a small reason of why you had to tread through the battles to see that eventually God will win the war and you will be standing by His side. All the hardships and pain and agony you experience are all to show the glory of God and help others with the same problems to show them His love. Prov. 3:5-6
✝️Keep it Real

Dear younger self,
Would you believe me if I told you that your prayers have been answered? All those times crying and praying to God, and He gives you answers. You prayed for a community. You prayed for a church. You prayed for healing. You prayed for solutions. You prayed for strength. You prayed for courage. These are just a few things you prayed for. God answered in His way and in His timing.

Dear reader,
Please hear me when I say that in the moment of prayer, it can be painful. But please hold onto hope. God is faithful. God is your provider. God is gracious. God is just. God is sovereign. God is perfect. God is all these things and more. Why should we not trust Him to hear our prayers? Look at the book of Psalms. They are filled with cries and praises from David. We see his agony. Sometimes we even feel like we feel his pain. But ultimately God hears him and provides for him. Let this be an encouragement for you to keep praying. Matt. 6:6

: )
Keep it real

part 2
The world says gossip is fine, it’s the norm. But what does the Word say?

Gossip Ruins
The tongue is the most powerful muscle in the human body. It has the power to destroy, so we need to be careful with how we CHOOSE to use it!
Prov. 16:28, Jm. 3:5

Stopping Gossip Fixes Issues
Think back to a time where there was no gossip. Remember how simple those times were? Gossip causes lots of issues, and we can avoid some issues if we abstain from gossip!
Prov. 26:20

Abstain from Gossip
“If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything” *cue huge eyeroll* If your upbringing was like mine, this phrase is engrained in your brain. We don’t always follow it, but we need to edify those around us, not tear them down!
Eph. 4:29

Gossip Deceives
Gossip is a part of the great deceit. For some reason, we tend to think that gossip is a mild sin, and therefore, it’s okay, but it’s not. Gossip deceives us into thinking we’re just like the rest of the world, but that’s the problem, we're called to be IN the world not OF it. We're called to be set apart. Gossip causes us to think we are better than others, and can sometimes lead us to forget our need for a savior. But we NEED Jesus, we are pieces, broken and shattered and only by God’s grace can we be renewed.
Jm. 1:26, Jm. 3:10

YOU'RE GOING TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE!
Sometimes we forget that our actions have consequences because we don’t see the immediate punishment. Gossip is one of the seven deadly sins, and we'll be held accountable. As daughters of God, our punishment was taken by Christ, but that does not mean we have a greenlight to continue in our sin, we need to repent!
Matt. 12:36, Jm. 4:11, Ps. 101:5

Repent and pray.
I knew my life was drastically in need of a change when I studied gossip. It’s extremely hard to stop gossiping when those around you are continuing. Not only do I need to stop gossiping, but also my sisters and brothers in Christ need to stop as well. We needed to keep each other accountable! And ultimately, we need to pray that God forgive us and help us turn from our sin.
Ps. 19:14, 1 Thess. 4:11, Ps. 141:3, Phil. 4:8

Xo,
Keep it real

“I’d pay an arm & a leg to know what’s going down in the senior groupme right now.”

This is an exact quote I said as I came in from church last night. You’re probably wandering what the context for this is. What am I talking about? What am I wanting to know?

That, my friend, is gossip.

Gossip is one of the most toxic problems that faces our society today. Whether we realize it or not, we’re constantly gossiping. “spilling the tea,” “getting in the know,” or “venting” are all synonymous for gossip.

Gossip defined: casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are none of your business.

Wait a minute, does the dictionary really say that? Yes! Well, kind of. It actually says, “typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.” But I disagree with that part, often times gossip involves details that ARE true. “Did you hear that Sally was sent to the principal’s office this morning?” It’s true, Sally did go to the principal’s office. But now, there are rumors going around about WHY Sally went to the principal’s office. It doesn’t matter why Sally went to the principal’s office, and it doesn’t matter that she even went. If it concerns me, or if Sally needs my help, Sally will let me know.

Gossip feeds on the knowledge-is-power mentality. I want to know more, why? Because I want to know.

Gossip is a silent killer. It kills friendships, it kills trust, it kills boundaries. It is toxic. And it’s our first nature.

A question I have learned is crucial to asking myself is whether I’m handling my conflict vertically or horizontally. Life is an uphill battle so if we want to fix a problem, we must go up.

Vertical: Pray, consult a mentor or teacher, ask a trusted friend, keep the issue private. Vertical gets you somewhere.
Horizontal: Complain/vent, talk to people who won’t help you fix the issue, make the issue public. Horizontal gets you nowhere.

Gossiping is one of my biggest convictions. I love to know things. But, with that being said, I know that as a Christian I am called to sanctification. Gossip has got to go.

Stay tuned for part two
Xo,
Keep it real

Dear Christian, please guard your heart. We must remember that the world Is full of darkness and that we must seek wisdom from Christ, and practice discernment regularly.

So what does guarding our hearts actually look like? We can guard our hearts by being intentional with our actions, and by seeking understanding from God. Many Christians find themself asking questions such as: Should I even be listening to this song? Is this outfit modest? Am I really gossiping?

These are very important questions, and yet we oftentimes find ourselves skipping the chance to answer them because we are afraid of admitting the truth to ourselves. Even if we have a small voice in our head criticizing our decision(s) we follow through with our choice(s). And while this is not always the case, too often it is.

While our actions do not erase our bond with Christ (Romans 8:1), our actions can harden our hearts. And whenever we harden our hearts, we tend to be less responsive to the spirit and proceed without caution.

If you find yourself following trends of the world, or finding yourself compromising on God’s word then I highly encourage you to do two things. First, seek accountability (another individual of the same-sex who is in a similar place of spiritual maturity) and meet with them on a regular basis. Second, abide in Christ. This is a really big one, in fact if you’ve zoned out, read THIS PART (I hope that got your attention). Make time for God daily. Get in the habit of praying, reading your bible, and worshiping God. Christ is there for us and he understands us, so draw near to him (Hebrews 4:15-16)

Keep on Keeping on 😎

Society has taught us to only show others our best. We post our best pictures with the best filter on it. We talk most about how “great” our lives are and how everything is “fine.” We have slipped further and further away from being honest and vulnerable towards Christ and His people. I love how honest David is in the Psalms. He’s vulnerable before the Lord. David expresses his anger, joy, sadness, and his doubts. The Lord didn’t turn away from David when he was vulnerable at the feet of Jesus and he won’t turn away from you. He hears you, He knows your heart, and He will sustain you. Christ knows how we feel, and we should not only express our joys and struggles with the Lord, but also to one another. Being vulnerable is scary. It forces us to admit that we don’t have it all together, which is hard for everyone to confess. While it is extremely difficult, I have found much freedom in being vulnerable with those around me. I used to think that my burdens were too much to share. Everyone has their own burdens and the last thing I wanted to do was to add my burdens to their load. However, the truth of the Word proclaims otherwise. In Galatians chapter 6 verse 2, Paul states “bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” We are called to bear one another’s burdens and for someone to bear your burdens, you must share them. However, be careful in who you choose to be vulnerable with. There is wisdom in having a few close friends to share burdens with. When sharing my struggles and burdens with fellow Christians, I have often found them struggling with similar things. When you are vulnerable with others, it gives them the freedom and safety to let you carry their burdens as well. I pray that you know when Paul said to bear one another’s burdens your burdens were not excluded in that. It’s necessary to let others carry your burdens just like you carry theirs. The Christian life was not meant to be lived while keeping everything in. Father help us to be open and honest with our brothers and sisters in Christ. Help us to love earnestly and lovingly carry one another’s burdens. I pray that we bring our burdens to you and rejoice and triumph over sin.
As always,
Keep it real

I am approaching my one-year anniversary at work and thought I would share a story from my first week there. A car was approaching the drive-through and something seemed different to me about that car. I happened to be the one to deliver the food to that car, which I was glad about because I was curious about why this car seemed so different. There ended up being two guys between 19 and early 20s, I would guess. After I gave them the food, the guy in the passenger seat asked me “Would you mind blessing our food?” It completely caught me off guard. I said “what?” They kind of laughed. He repeats the question phrased differently. I precede to say, “sure!” They say “Wait! Really?!” and I respond with “of course!”. I then prayed over them and blessed their food. They left appreciative, giddy, and happy; I think. But even if they weren’t, I was. It left me feeling fulfilled and happy.

That event of praying for the guys left me fulfilled because 1) showing God’s love 2) it’s my daily prayer that I will be a light for God that when people look at me, they see God and His love. Never did I think that nearly one week into the job I would end up praying over someone. I talked to a few co-workers and they had not experienced that or heard of it happening there. The thing is before I started, I said I believed God was going to do something great with my time working there. I hope and believe that is only the beginning.

While I have not had an experience like that at work since, it still does not diminish the fact that God works in our everyday lives. He may work through you by you simply asking a co-worker to grab coffee with you, by you sending an encouragement card to someone, or by you praying specifically for someone in your quiet time. Everyday we a have a chance to be intentional in how we treat others. God can work through our small actions that we may not even realize. To this day, I still think about those guys and pray about them.

“Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” Colossians 4:5-6

: )
Keep it real

Today I mourn.

The world we live in is broken. Just last week we saw shootings, tornadoes, missiles, and scams come to light. But that’s just on a macro level.

On a micro level, looking at my own life, I can clearly see sin working its course. This week has been full of confession to God as my sin is made clear.

Today I mourn.

We live in a lost and a broken world, the only hope and light is Jesus. Sin hurts and disgusts God, and as a child of God, it ought to disgust me. I ought to turn from my sin.

Today I mourn.
I mourn the sin of the world. I mourn the sin of my nation. I mourn the sin of my friends. I mourn my own sin.

My biggest hope for anyone who reads this today is that you be broken by the sin in your life. And if you aren’t broken, or if you don’t see the sin in your life, pray that God opens your eyes and breaks you. Be broken by your sin and be built up in godliness. Die to your flesh daily in order to grow in your likeness of God.

Today I mourn because I know how lost our world is. I know that there are millions of people on this planet who are desperately and utterly in need of God.

Today I mourn.

xo,
keep it real