Inside-Out Glow Coach

How’s your relationship with your father? I'll start…

I was sexually abused as a child, then ignored and neglected as I got older.

Unless he needed something or it was holiday, I didn't exist.

Of course, I put the rose-colored glasses on and pretended things were fine.

Kind of like how I did with my "romantic" partners.

What did I go on to do?

- I binge-drank– sometimes to the point of being an angry, emotional drunk when I felt triggered by partners.

- I emotionally ate foods that were superrr high in both fat and sugar– a deadly combo. And salt, too. All very numbing and sedating.

- I smoked w**d almost everyday. Picked that habit up from my father, actually.

And then as I began to let all those things go (and then some), that's when I woke up and realized that the men in my life were ghosts.

"Raised" (abused) by a ghost, only to go on to share beds with ghosts, feeling their absence and filling it with toxic crap.

Until I stopped.

Then I began to fill their absence, the absence that began with my father, with love.

Love for myself.

Through healthier choices.

Through nourishing foods.

Through no longer tolerating peoples' bu****it.

I became my own father, and my own mother, too.

I began to learn how to give myself all of the nurturing, protection, empowerment, and initiation I never received.

And now?

No more alcohol, no more w**d, no more toxic crap, no more toxic people.

Working to heal the father wound has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.

This is .

Heal the wounds that led you into toxicity, recover your mind, body, and spirit, and set yourself FREE. 💜

A narcissist NEEDS you to provide constant admiration, validate their existence, and cater to all of their demands.

That's how they operate.

Needing, needing, needing, wanting, wanting, wanting, while bread-crumbing momentary acts of "kindness" and "affection" along the way.

They know that their demands are like a drug for you, yet in reality, YOU are the one who's more likely to heal your addiction to them than they are to heal their personality disorder!

Narcissists very, very, very rarely heal or even believe that they need healing, which means just about all of them are stuck NEEDING to feed off of other peoples' energy.

When you realize that a narcissist is a shell of a human without someone else's energy to feed on, you're now free to break your addiction to them, heal your mind, body, and spirit in ways they most likely never will, and move ON.

Not actually NEEDING a narcissist is your super power!

If you saw my last post, you read how therapy can be a great starting place, BUT… it won’t actually HEAL your trauma.

That’s why my colleague was sooo happy to see the services I’m offering. When she bumped into a woman who’s currently suffering from narcissistic abuse and the woman asked her about therapists, my colleague knew from personal experience that therapy was NOT actually going to help her heal from the abuse.

Validate that she’s been abused? Very possible.

Help her begin to speak about the abuse? Also very possible.

But HEAL from the abuse?

Heal to the point that she’d 100% clear the energy pattern that led her to fall prey to a narcissist in the first place?

Nope. Can’t do that solely from sitting and talking in therapy.

That’s because talk therapy is NOT designed to remove the trauma from your body on a cellular level, and it can even make it worse. All that talking about what happened without actually RELEASING the trauma from the body can actually be retraumatizing you in the process!

Remember: Your body is an energy source that actually HOLDS onto trauma, and clearing it is a two-pronged approach:

1) A targeted nutrition plan, which is the best first step in healing
2) Energy clearing of trauma stored in the cells

If you've tried therapy, but are feeling stuck when it comes to fully healing from toxic relationships, trauma, and abuse, I can help you.

I create personalized Wellness Plans that are rooted in plant-based nutrition (done right) so you can eat clean (we’re trying to clear out ALL the toxicity here!) while helping you to feel and look sooo much better, AND I also include suggested tools and resources for energetically clearing the trauma from your body.

If you’re interested in learning how to holistically heal your physical, mental, and emotional symptoms of toxic relationships, trauma and abuse, DM me or visit the link in my bio to book a free 30-minute evaluation. I would love to help you!

💜 Malana

When we experience trauma and emotional pain, or when we're trying to make sense of WHY we're in emotional pain, a common route women take is therapy.

The thing with therapy, though, is that it CAN get you started on the path to healing, but it's not actually DESIGNED to heal you.

It can be great for getting you comfortable with talking about your story and having someone FINALLY validate your feelings and experiences in life and to point out signs of abuse and symptoms of trauma.

That right there is SO important– once you KNOW that things were/are toxic, now you can begin to heal!

But you won't TRULY heal by continuing to talk it out in therapy. That's because talk therapy isn't designed to remove the trauma from your body on a cellular level. In some cases, the talking can actually exacerbate it!

Your body is an energy source that actually holds onto trauma, and to clear it you need two things:

1) A targeted nutrition plan, which is the best first step in healing
2) Energy clearing of trauma stored in the cells

If you've tried therapy, but are feeling stuck when it comes to fully healing from toxic relationships, trauma, and abuse, I can help you.

I create personalized Wellness Plans that are rooted in plant-based nutrition (done right), and I include education and recommendations for:

- foods/supplements/herbs and safe & effective detox protocols
- self-care practices and tips & strategies for staying focused on your path to recovery
- suggested tools and resources for energetically clearing the trauma from your body....
- and more!

Visit the link in my bio to book a free 30-minute evaluation. 💜

Once I began unraveling the trauma of my childhood sexual abuse, it changed everything for me.

My top priority was to protect myself.

During that period of time, I made a lot of great decisions but also a lot of not-so-great decisions.

Like staying with a partner who would ping-pong between showing support and removing support, which left me feeling ungrounded and dejected.

The reality is that they were just another abuser in my life, hoping to wear me down enough that I’d “go back.”

Back to abusers. Back to my life of chronic physical pain. Back to the w**d and the alcohol. Back to my rose-colored glasses. Back to “comfort.” Back to when I was easier to manipulate and keep secrets from.

Me? I wanted to go forward and HEAL.

But I also wasn’t ready to give up. I was still looking to this person to validate my existence and my experiences when the only person I needed to do that for me was myself.

So I kept making decisions from ego instead of from my heart.

I saw things as I WANTED to see them vs. as they TRULY were.

I was in reactive mode vs. proactive node.

I ignored signs.

And I clung.

All survival tactics.

When in reality, giving up and letting go WAS the best way for me to protect myself! And to not only survive but to begin to thrive.

Letting go showed me everything that was fake about my life, and it showed me where I’d been helping to hold up the facade, compromising my integrity and my health every step of the way.

I didn’t know then what I know now, but I do know that I release the shame for any mistakes I made before and after I began healing from trauma.

I hope you can, too. We’ve already been through enough. When you know better, just start doing better! 💜

Reactive Abuse: When you’re being abused, reach your breaking point, and respond back with abuse.

Is it healthy? No.

Should you feel shame and guilt? No. It wasn’t your fault.

But is it your responsibility to heal so you know how to avoid more abusive relationships? Yes. 100%! 🙏🏼

My teacher is an amazing resource on releasing shame and guilt. Swipe to read her input on reactive abuse and her response to a student. 💜

Our relationships are either nourishing us or they’re depleting us.

And with a narcissist, you’re ALWAYS living in a deficit. 🙏🏼💜

Swipe to read 👉🏼.

The narcissist I was married to was the charming, helpful jokester who would do your dishes and take out your trash.

"What a nice guy. We love him."

Behind closed doors, the mask would drop and out came the wolf in sheep's clothing.

Who would believe me, though? He just gave the performance of a lifetime.

✨I✨ wasn't even sure if I believed me.

Besides, pain was love. You suck it up. You make the best of it. You power through. You take what you can get. You make excuses.

That's what was modeled for me as a child, at least, and it's what I learned as a victim of child sexual and narcissistic abuse.

It was only natural that I'd be drawn to narcissists as an adult– they mirrored the dysfunctional relationships I grew up with.

So it's not surprising that I spent 14 years in a battle between my ego and my heart – knowing things were off deep down but not wanting to believe just how bad things were – all the while, making myself more sad and more sick in the process.

Looking back, I now know that anyone who's in a truly healthy, loving relationship would never feel the need to utter any of these words.

Have you ever said any of these things? 💜

‘Toxic Love Recovery Coach’ was born from my own recovery as a victim of childhood sexual, emotional, and narcissistic abuse and the ways in which trauma impacted my life in ALL areas– physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially, and relationally.

Our experiences as children are what shape our future, and since my childhood was rife with toxicity and dysfunction, so too, was my health and my romantic partnerships, including my friendships.

It took until my 30’s before I was finally able to make the link between my childhood trauma and things like: the loneliness and neglect I felt within my marriage, my 10-year addiction to w**d, a mysterious chronic pain disorder, my emotional eating, and other health ailments and struggles within my life.

It would take going through a divorce, finally accepting that I'd been mentally and emotionally abused for over a decade by my partner, and hitting complete rock bottom to understand just how deadly toxic relationships truly are and how intense the recovery process can be.

Relationships either nourish us or deplete us, though often times, abuse victims are unable to recognize signs of abuse because they were normalized during childhood.

The brain may have even repressed traumatic memories, which can manifest as physical symptoms within the body if they’re not accessed and released.

If you don't know that you're being abused or how to recognize toxic relationships and trauma symptoms, this sets the body up for disease from constant stress and from coping mechanisms like alcohol, drugs, and unhealthy foods. It's also a near guarantee that you'll never reach your full potential or experience true peace, joy, health, happiness, and love… all things you deserve!

As a certified holistic health coach through founded by my own coach & spiritual teacher , my intention is to bring awareness around the topic of toxic relationships – from childhood through adulthood – and their impacts on health while providing the tools for recovery and self-love and empowering you to work towards healing yourself holistically so you can create the amazing life you were born to live!