Ais_icles

Growing up, I’ve always prioritized and attained highest standards in my academic performance and not caring about my physical appearance. I always believed that who cares if you’re pretty or beautiful, if you’ll just fail academically? I was raised into that kind of mentality.

Therefore, I highly valued my grades, and spent half of my life exerting more effort into studying and expanding and honing my skillsets to be able to become an accomplished student. I want to become the best in all areas of learning. Ending up having no time for self-care.

As I further ventured into high school, it really opened my eyes about insecurities. I somehow experienced being picked on because of having bad skin and acne in my face a lot. That’s where it started about my obsession with fixing myself. I became self conscious about what people will think about me.

Honestly, it has greatly affected my academic performance in school. There are times that I would cry in front of a mirror, pleading to my acne to disappear instantly. It made me feel unconfident about myself. So, whenever someone pokes fun at my flaws, it would abruptly destroy my fortress of confidence that took so many years to build.

Despite those events in my life, I try to give time for myself to heal and pamper. It’s a very slow phase of development and self care again. Those times when someone made me feel so worse about myself are over. I want to make the highest quality version of myself this time and I hope no one would ever make their friends or someone else also feel this way.

- ais

artwork from pinterest

Growing up as the eldest child, 2022 is a year that started and ended with a huge impact. It made me experience and realize a lot of things. It almost felt like the first months of the year were so different from August to December. Life has never been the same. Things took a wild turn, from achieving and accomplishing a lot of things during the eleventh grade and life being at ease to barely scraping in grade twelve.

Once I stepped in the last year of Senior High School, the phase where we need to navigate finding our path in life and choose a lifelong career, I tried to learn and train myself to be fearless. I went out of my own zone, to try new things, tested my capabilities and pushed myself. However, I guess I wasn’t still at my peak. It turned out to be one of the many hauls of disappointments and rejection. I exert great efforts to chase that success, I always ended up empty handed. I became a candle who lost its light, the one who starts to think that its life was at its end, that it doesn’t have a purpose anymore. Honestly, it’s because of the failures I received, I thought that it would help me to recover from it by turning it down.

As well as my academics, I was very eager to learn new knowledge and excited about what's stored for me, but would only welcome me to the reality of graduating students. Despite giving your best efforts, it feels like it was very hard and impossible to attain high remarks. It felt like I was slower in processing new lessons compared to others. Our plates were so full and we’re in an unending cycle where we are attempting constantly to create solutions to be able to fill it in with new explorations and tasks. In those trying times, I became frustrated and it tested me. Breakdowns at study hours and overthinking rather than sleeping. It was a tumultuous ride of emotions. It made me feel empty.

A lot of people would ask about the career that I’ll pursue, but even me–myself is still uncertain and is in the process of figuring it out. Still in the state of building the right path that I’ll be taking, I just hate my indecisive mind and sometimes, it’s just that I wanted something more on how I will give back to others but I don’t know in which way I will do it. There are some instances where we are forced in directions that we ought to have found for ourselves. But when I look and grasp at the transitions of life, it seems like I don’t have enough time to decide on what’s best for me, it was rushed.

When I think of my younger self, I always achieved greater things easily with determination and confidence. I was a force to be reckoned back then. As I grew older, I tend to lose courage and my self esteem was wavering, it affected my capabilities in growing and so am I. It hit me that before my younger self reached those achievements, he also went through a lot. Regardless of that, he bounced back stronger, showed resilience, and faced everything with a smile. There’s no “I can’t do it” and “I am scared” in his vocabulary. Although a lot has changed as I face transitions in life, there are things that keeps me from going on. From the lessons that I get everytime I fall short, the growth in ourselves never stops, chances that I will keep on trying to reach, never forgetting to enjoy our lives, appreciating the small steps we are making, and to channel our focus into something we are truly passionate, achieving our dreams that we owe to our younger selves.

- ais

artwork from pinterest

Sometimes you just have to start big. Get your feelings out and you'll have an easier time picking them apart and getting more specific.

"Due to our high standards, we always forgot the basis, the essence of finding true love and happiness."🌼

Hi! I'm just gonna share my second one shot story. Go read it! Don't forget to vote and comment your thoughts.Thank you!

(Story written in Eng/Tag)

-Ais

Kahit Na Due to our high standards, we always forgot the basis, the essence of finding true love and happiness.

Good evening. I just published a One Shot story in Wattpad! Actually, it was a project in one of my subjects and I wanted to share it also in this platform. I can't assure you that it would be good to the other works, since it was rushed. I wrote this because it was stucked in my mind, had a chance to write it for about a short time and wanting to express my thoughts through it.

Hoping that you could support it by reading. Don't forget to vote and comment your thoughts!!! Thank you!!! :))

(The story is written in English.)
Wp: Ais_icles

The Last Time I Cried Some goodbyes aren't the end, it's just the beginning.

Every "hello" ends with a "goodbye".

Sometimes life is stranger than fiction.

Mga ilang oras na diskusyon at topics na tinuro sa'min ay nagsimulang 'i-brought up' ng prof namin tungkol sa year ending ball ng school namin.

"Boys if you want someone here in our class to be your partner, ask them. Bibigyan ko kayo ng oras para yayain yung gusto niyong maging partner sa ball."

Pambihira naman sir!!! T _ T

Well, wala naman talaga akong plano at interes sumama sa "ball ball" na yan. Lalo na't malapit na yung evaluation exams bago kami maggraduate. Tsaka alam ko namang wala din na mag-aaya sak--.

"Hi Grace. Will you go to the ball with me?"

Chapter 1 is out!

-Ais

Zero Percent Love Rate Gracielle was an elementary teacher, focusing seriously around her profession and love for work. While her "love life"...

"Sudden"

On that day, that person became mine.
But until someone tried to align.
It was you who change everything,
The way we talk, laugh and share.
That was the last time.
You tried to lie but the feelings couldn't hide.
So I just left and let those things aside.

-Ais

Story Description:

Gracielle was an elementary teacher, focusing seriously around her profession and love for work. While her "love life" was out of her goals and line. In her belief that falling in love to a guy who'll eventually become her "first and last". But once she tried to open her heart to someone believing that it was destined for her, only ended up shattering her heart into pieces.

Gathering each piece, she kept recovering and won't open her heart again guarded and hiding underneath a strong shell that protects her.

Is there a 'someone' that could change the "zero percent love rate" and a chance to tie the loosened knot around her heart?

(A story written in Tagalog/English)

New year means new story! Thank you for supporting and loving 'Peripeteia: Quest of a Star Wanderer' and I hope that you will also support my new story, Zero Percent Love Rate.

Let me find what your heart desires.💋

— Ais

Zero Percent Love Rate Gracielle was an elementary teacher, focusing seriously around her profession and love for work. While her "love life"...

"Untitled"

Whenever you try and look for me,
It almost felt like a stone drowned in the sea.
I always chose to hide and be hostile just to be free,
But the ways you showed me created like a blooming tree.

I'll always treasure your words,
We might somewhere so different in the way we seek.
Will be there for me as I comforted with meek.
Will I give in? I might not be able to say.
But I wish whatever fate would do, I'll promise to see you through.

-Ais