Oi Snowflake, It’s just an opinion.

Once upon a time, in a village known for its quirky characters, lived Gertrude, famed for taking offence at the drop of a hat.

One day, a milkman accidentally splashed her, and she transformed into the Milk Lady, dispensing dairy justice.

Now, villagers tread carefully, lest they face her lactose-fuelled fury. Gertrude, finally content, never worried about milk for her tea again.

🐾 Meet Whiskers, the most unflappable feline you'll ever encounter! 💤

While the world around us spins with chaos and commotion, Whiskers remains the epitome of tranquility. 💆‍♂️ Whether it's a thunderstorm rattling the windows or a clumsy human tripping over their own feet, Whiskers couldn't care less. 😼

This cool cat's daily routine consists of napping in the sunbeams, occasionally batting at a passing fly with all the enthusiasm of someone reading the terms and conditions. 🕶️

You might try to impress Whiskers with tales of your daily struggles, but alas, their reaction is akin to a sophisticated aristocrat overhearing gossip from the servant quarters – mild amusement at best. 😽

In a world of drama and frenzy, Whiskers serves as a gentle reminder to take life one lazy stretch at a time. 🌞 So next time you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, just remember – there's a cat out there who couldn't care less. 🐱

Snowflake [noun]
Overly sensitive and easily offended person or one who believes they are entitled to special treatment.

Unable to cope with criticism or robust debate, no grasp of living in the real world, unable to accept views that challenge their own.

🤩

Embark on a journey of style and practicality with Valirium watches, where sophistication meets functionality. Explore our diverse range, featuring long-lasting, comfortable timepieces at affordable prices, including the captivating allure of our signature blue watch. Guided by a design philosophy that marries the familiar with the fresh, each watch from Valirium is crafted to make a distinct and lasting impression.

https://amzn.eu/d/e0yW2zo

Looks like Woody decided to join Buzz's 'out-of-this-world' entrance into the world!

Why did the snowflake go to therapy? It felt misunderstood, but everyone else thought it was just being flaky!

Went to bed in a vest top, woke up and my right tit was downstairs putting the kettle on.

Why did the offended person go to the bakery?

Because they heard they had rolls and they were determined to find something to get crusty about!

In a stunning turn of events, Phil and Holly from
"This Morning" unleashed their inner madness on live television.

Armed with feather boas and inflatable unicorns, they declared themselves rulers of the studio.

Chaos ensued as guests fled, and producers frantically searched for the sanity they misplaced long ago.

I’ve nicknamed some of my work colleagues:

SENSOR LIGHT - only works if someone
walks past

NOODLES - thinks all jobs take 2 minutes

BLISTER - appears when all the hard work is done

LAVA LAMP- looks good but not very bright

DECK CHAIR - always folds under pressure

G-**OT - you can never find him

WHEELBARROW: only works when he's pushed

LITTLE STAR: Dim and Distant

Q) What's the biggest scam in life that nobody wants to admit?

A) Paying taxes on money you make, taxed money you spend, and taxed things you own that you already paid taxes on with already taxed money…

Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

I'm so easily offended that even the word 'offended' offends me.

The problem isn’t that obesity runs in your family. It’s that no one runs in your family.

JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE OFFENDED
DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE RIGHT

I was absolutely DISGUSTED when I did a search on Amazon for 'funny secret santa gifts' and THIS came up 😱 What is wrong with people!!!

Ps They retail at £8.99...