Chris Ellsasser
Writes essays about the human experience. Chris is a house painter and writer living on Cape Cod. Reminder of the miracle: you are here, now. "
The family’s chocolate lab, Stella, walks the outermost beaches each day with Chris. Between chasing her favorite tennis ball, splashing through tidal pools, and rolling in the sand, they discuss the human condition. Chris’s first collection of essays, Outermost Writing from Cape Cod, is the result of those conversations. Prior to painting houses and writing, Chris was an educator for over three d
08/12/2023
30/06/2023
Summer Our Secret Place
10/06/2023
My new book has arrived! Available on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C6W6TY5L
New Book Available! My new book, Outermost Writing from Cape Cod, is now available on amazon:
10/06/2023
My new book has arrived! Available on amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C6W6TY5L
05/04/2023
Falling Short
why trying harder is not the solution
You imagine yourself doing well. You enjoy what you are doing. You find it interesting, challenging, and rewarding. You have a record of success and every confidence that you are talented. But then it happens: you fall short of your expectations.
Too often the problem is identified as a lack of effort. You think, I will try harder next time. But what if effort is not the problem? Nobody who cares about what they are doing makes the choice to not try. What if the real problem is that something is restraining your effort, making it appear as though you are not trying hard enough?
A dam does not reduce the volume of a river, it blocks the flow from making progress. But for those downstream it looks as though the river has stopped trying to reach them. The problem is not the river, the problem is the dam. The solution is simple: remove the dam.
The question to ask in response to what looks like a lack of effort is this: What is in my way? Trying harder without changing what you are doing will produce the same outcome. What is preventing your effort from producing the successful results you imagine? You could be using the wrong tool. You might be pushing when you should be pulling. You might be turning left when you should be turning right.
Telling yourself to try harder suggests you are not invested, that you are intentionally not putting forth your best effort, that you do not care, and that you are just being lazy. These messages personalize the underperformance. This makes you feel powerless, and suggests your attitude is the problem. Saying that you will try harder is not going to change the performance. You need to fix what is in the way of your effort.
Consider the simple problem of a rusted screw that is stuck. You have worked successfully with screwdrivers in the past. You have the necessary strength. Your technique is good. But the harder you turn, the more the head of the screw becomes stripped.
What you need is a different tool, one designed to turn things that are stuck. Needle nose vice grip pliers are designed to grab hold of small things like the tops of screws that are stuck in hard to reach places. Two minutes of effort with the pliers and the problem is solved.
This shift from trying harder to changing behavior sends the message of confidence that you are committed, that you do care, and that the problem is something you can fix. Improving any performance calls for intentional problem solving. If a ball is flat, no amount of effort is going to result in a high bounce. You must first direct effort into fixing the ball.
We work hard at the things that are important to us. But sometimes effort is not enough. Particularly when we find ourselves at a new level of performance or encountering a new challenge. A change in expectations can cause our efforts to become misdirected. The action that produced success in the past no longer works.
Effort is how we demonstrate to ourselves and others that we care about what we are doing. Understanding what to do differently in the face of failure, lets the effort we exert produce the results we imagine.
25/01/2023
What if we viewed people based on their interests instead of their jobs?
Comparisons Fall Short I have been reading The Good Life by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz. The book shares the findings of the longest scientific study of human happiness. While the general take away is that happiness…
18/12/2022
Each Sunday paid subscribers to my newsletter receive a thank you note reflecting on the Friday Essay and anticipating the next week's essay.
Thank You for Reading 12/18/22 Offshore Winds: Thank You
09/12/2022
Happy Friday,
Today's essay examines the December moon and considers the impact of admiration. Thank you for reading.
Peace
December Moon I watched the moon tonight. Standing in our yard, outside lighted windows, under the December sky, I looked up for as long as I could. Haloed light awash in purple clouds. Stars honed by cold…
02/12/2022
Happy Friday
Fallen Leaves We story our lives, weaving the strange until it feels familiar. Strangers grow into friends. Places become home. Things take on meaning particular to our living. A back road becomes the setting fo…
25/11/2022
The framed photograph of our home taken from space was a wedding gift from a high school friend. I remember one night during our junior year my friend asked when I was going to stop acting like I was just visiting. He had lived on Cape Cod his entire life; I had moved there the summer before my ninth grade....
Visitor The framed photograph of our home taken from space was a wedding gift from a high school friend. I remember one night during our junior year my friend asked when I was going to stop acting like I w…
18/11/2022
Happy Friday
No More Waiting It began like everything does: in the quiet of the dark. Lying there, I imagined the color, the light, the moment it would appear. I could see it crowning the horizon, the pink morning light …
04/11/2022
Happy Friday
Dirt Road Rain rutted and potholed, our dirt road refuses convenience. Pressed rock ebbs and flows against shouldered banks of piled leaves wet with the smell of fall. Narrowed by reaching branches wrapped i…
28/10/2022
Drawstring Her favorite ball is red and green. Neither poison ivy, nor bramble bush, nor eroding cliff has stopped retrieval of her treasure. It sits in the cup holder of my truck, waiting for the beach. Last…
28/10/2022
Happy Friday
Drawstring Her favorite ball is red and green. Neither poison ivy, nor bramble bush, nor eroding cliff has stopped retrieval of her treasure. It sits in the cup holder of my truck, waiting for the beach. Last…
21/10/2022
The Company We Keep I lost track of time in the fog. I had wandered down a side road in my truck, filling time between dropping off and picking up one of my twins. The road ended at the water. I got out and walked to …
21/10/2022
Happy Friday
The Company We Keep I lost track of time in the fog. I had wandered down a side road in my truck, filling time between dropping off and picking up one of my twins. The road ended at the water. I got out and walked to …
14/10/2022
Return to the Edge Storm clouds linger, playing hide and seek with the sun. The ocean rests, rolling and dimpled by an offshore breeze. I have returned to the scene of the storm, the spot where I leaned weight into w…
14/10/2022
Happy Friday
Return to the Edge Storm clouds linger, playing hide and seek with the sun. The ocean rests, rolling and dimpled by an offshore breeze. I have returned to the scene of the storm, the spot where I leaned weight into w…
07/10/2022
To The Edge There is great comfort in the rain. Hood up. Hands buried. Cocooned and drifting – puddles rise and serpentine the way. With time to spend, you take the fading path. Stepping over fallen tree…
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