Athabasca Deathcare

https://www.facebook.com/100051591771393/posts/767791828283869/?sfnsn=mo&mibextid=6aamW6

I am not someone who represses emotion. I had learned long ago that repressing those immense feelings only served to delay healing, and in turn, ending up having to go through that much more in order to truly progress on the healing journey. There is a reason that telling the story of a loved one's death and how it has impacted you is helpful and encouraged in the first days and weeks afterwards - it makes what seems unbelievable become more tangible, over time, with every instance it is expressed.

Share your stories, with the people you love and who want to help. Birth, dying, death, and grief are experiences that cannot truly be compared, but they can be shared. Sharing helps us to relate to others and reminds us that at the end of the day, no matter what has happened, we are all connected.

The Spirit Guided Path

Upcoming event in Athabasca to support women healing through infant loss, pregnancy loss, miscarriage. 💙 please call 780-689-8738 if interested.

https://bkbooks.com/blogs/something-to-think-about/the-sacred-moment-of-death

https://www.nursingtimes.net/opinion/losing-my-son-to-su***de-my-experience-as-a-mental-health-nurse-02-03-2023/

‘Losing my son to su***de – my experience as a mental health nurse’ On 25 April 2021 my 36-year-old son, died in a road accident. He had left a su***de note for his...

Everybody dies: Why not talk about it? This is the second of a two-part series. The Jan. 17 Home & Garden column, “Alternative approaches to death and dying,” concluded with an excerpt from Ursula Snow, a Shelburne Falls resident who died at age 13 in a 2019 accident. Some Recorder readers...

Surviving the Loss of a Spouse

It doesn't matter if you were together for 1 year or 50, I think losing your spouse is one of the most painful losses you could ever endure. I’m not saying all other losses aren’t as bad…..not by a long shot. But your spouse is your partner in life, your best friend, your soul mate. Having all of that taken from you can leave you feeling lost and very alone.

I have no children, so for me the loneliness was unbearable. But I’m not going to go on and on about how hard it was, because if you’ve lost a spouse, you already know all about it.

What I am going to do is tell you ways you can learn to live with it…..

Even though it may feel like you’re going through this alone, you don’t have to, because there are most likely other people that also miss your spouse. Reach out to the people that understand your loss. That can be friends, family or even other widows and widowers. Figure out your support groups and don't be shy about calling on them to help you through this tragedy.

You most likely spent so much time with your spouse, everything is going to remind you of their absence. The most heart-wrenching reminders will come on birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. These days are going to be tough, especially in the first year or two. I have found that if you acknowledge these days and choose to celebrate them, it helps to mitigate the sadness.

Once you begin to dig yourself out of the ashes, you'll probably feel as if you're starting over with everything. You did everything with your spouse before, so learning to do those things by yourself, or with someone else in their place, will take some time to get used to.

Here’s the thing…..you have to remember that starting over doesn’t mean you have to forget about your spouse. When you feel that way it results in feelings of guilt as you begin to recover and move on with your life.

But don’t feel guilty for living your life!

The reality is, you can't expect to just pick up your life where you left off before the death of your spouse. Your life is going to be different now, so it's okay to start over and move on with your new life. Make an effort to start new traditions and meet new people. Your spouse would want you to be happy again, even if it means starting over without them.

I know it’s super difficult to hear about starting over. The bond between you and your spouse was so unique and so special, that it hurts all the more when that bond is broken in death.

Although your spouse is no longer with you physically, you will always have the memory of the love you shared.

Honor that love by living the best life you can live….for both of you.

Gary Sturgis – “Surviving Grief”

‘I have sad thoughts every day. I try not to be overcome by them’: Michael Rosen on coping with the death of his son He is much loved for his daffy humour, but poet Michael Rosen’s new memoir, Getting Better, is an arrestingly honest account of devastating loss. He talks to Alex Moshakis about feeling sad, and why he’s no longer ‘carrying an elephant’

Growing Around Grief - Whats your Grief In 1996, Lois Tonkin wrote a simply theory about grief, inspired by a bereaved mother she'd met. The Growing Around Grief concept still helps and inspires

What is the best thing you can do for someone who is dying?

Ask them what matters most to them, and how they want to be cared for. Validate their words, and let them know they have been heard. Meet them where they are… not where you want them to be. Honor their wishes, never make this about you, and always, always follow through. Most of all remind them they are not alone… but respect them if they wish to be.

xo
Gabby

Photo credit:

To be buried nowadays, your body will most likely be driven to a cemetery (which is not to say being flown or transported elsewhere isn’t a possibility!). In Medieval Europe, they did not have the luxury of hearses, planes, or the contemporary postal system. So how did co**ses travel the often long, arduous journeys to their final resting places? Enter the co**se road! ⛰

“Churches at the time were very protective of their flocks, both living and dead. When a parishioner died, they wanted him or her interred with all the rituals of the parish church. They also wanted the money that having those burial rights entailed. Yet as communities spread out, this meant the parish church could be miles from your home. Thus came the co**se road, also known as the coffin road, bier way, church way, lych way, or burial road. All these paths connected villages to the cemetery.

One reason that some of these somber byways survived over the centuries was their remoteness. No one wanted rotting bodies hauled through their front yards, so the roads were set up on windswept hills and overgrown pastures where no one wanted to go.” 🌾

Featured here is The Coffin Road to Loch Shiel in Scotland🪨

Have you ever walked the path of a co**se road? 🦵

[ID: Photo of The Coffin Road to Loch Shiel in Scotland. It’s very grassy and the path is made of grey stones up a hill.]

**seroad

My partner died. Then my brother. Here’s what not to say to someone who is grieving In an effort to help – and to protect themselves – people try to shrink the loss with empty platitudes. But that can make grief even more painful

The Blame Game

After someone dies, it may often be your first instinct to go back and take responsibility for the outcome, all you feel you could or should have done differently.

Do you do this? Do you play the 'blame game?'

Grief has a way of making you feel suddenly and entirely responsible for another person's life, and I find many grievers fill their every waking thought with regret and guilt.

This next part may only apply to a select group of people...but...(and this is important)...you know who you are.

This isn’t easy to hear, acknowledge, or talk about, yet I know this to be true. It must be acknowledged that there are certain circumstances where the deceased played their own role in the outcome and the way things turned out.

I worry about the potential to be misunderstood...so I want to be very clear. While we never want to ‘blame’ anyone, especially after they're gone, why do we find it so much easier to put all of the blame and responsibility on ourselves? In the end...does anyone need to be blamed at all?

Here's the thing...life is horribly unfair. Terrible things happen to good people.

Some get saddled with mental health issues and addictions that can overpower and destroy even the best efforts and intentions.

Take some time to consider this...instead of playing the blame game...think about what it would feel like to let yourself off the hook, and to let go of some of the guilt...even just a little.

You may spend a lot of time forgiving other people...so why not also forgive yourself.

Gary Sturgis - "Surviving Grief"

The Alberta Government has put together a new website to help people have better discussions and information about End of Life and Palliative Care. I encourage you to visit the site to learn more about planning, Palpatine Care, community supports, and the value of Death & Dying discussions.

Homepage | Compassionate Alberta This website is designed to help Albertans have conversations about living and dying well and plan appropriately for the future.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/london/this-mother-s-cremated-ashes-weren-t-just-lost-in-canada-post-mail-they-went-up-in-flames-1.6721100

Canada Post says woman's cremated remains destroyed in vehicle fire during Ontario to B.C. shipping | CBC News Calling the incident "a terrible outcome," Canada Post says the ashes of a woman whose family was shipping her remains from Ontario to British Columbia to be buried have been destroyed in a vehicle fire.

https://www.facebook.com/1431595910448704/posts/3367971593477783/?sfnsn=mo&mibextid=6aamW6

I Have Just Months To Live. Instead Of Making A Bucket List, Here’s What I’m Doing Before I Go. “Thinking about my son left me heartbroken. I knew I wouldn’t be able to dance at his wedding. I probably wouldn’t even see him graduate from college.”

Iqaluit family calls for change to funeral standards after dressing own son's body for viewing | CBC News Jukeepa Veevee said viewing the body of her late son, Terence Veevee, was important to her family. That moment didn't go as planned.

Death Care, Celebration of Life and Funeral Options Workshop Spend a few hours preparing your own departure. Learn from others. Death and final care instructions are a precious document for your family

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/widows-walk/202212/grief-and-the-passage-of-time

My sister’s death was hard enough. The silence afterwards was unbearable Writer Lynne Reeves Griffin's sister, Cheryl, died by su***de seven years ago. When people become uncomfortable at any mention of my sister, she writes, I feel excluded from the mourning process.

The enemy is not death. The enemy is needless suffering. The final part of life is about being alive, not about death.

Alex Muir: Stoking unnecessary fears about MAID does a disservice to Canadians The choice to receive an assisted death is about compassion, avoiding suffering and the fundamental rights of the individual

…even if it’s only in my mind.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/north/nunavut-family-apology-hospital-treatment-mother-s-body-1.6605696

A death by su***de is often sudden or unexpected, and hard to understand. This resource has been designed to help you understand and care for yourself as you grieve. https://buff.ly/3RAIP6M

Community Grief Sharing - drop in, no cost, share and connect with others, honor your grief, hold space for the loved one you miss.

Interesting......🤔 check it out!!! Call me for details and to RSVP. Located jn Athabasca, free!

Upcoming Living Through Loss Grief Support Group. Please call for details 780-689-8738

Olive wood, Oak and Cherry.