Green Cows Don't Fly

Watcha fink of our new profile pic?
Be scared, be very scared of green cows that don't fly.

Pic is courtesy of our friends at Multiverse of Badness Podcast. For the font, blame Jon.

The freebie is live. We have a gift for you to say 'Happy 4th July'. (A three day offer, so hurry.) Follow this link below. And when you've read it, we'd love a review.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0B296F7MC/?coliid=I1JKY3X2ST0A4I&colid=2VBT0MVAZ82J0&psc=0&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it

The Quester's Guide To Saving It (The World, That Is): The Book Of The Podcast The Quester's Guide To Saving It (The World, That Is): The Book Of The Podcast eBook : Don't Fly, Green Cows, Duffy, Jon, Rickenbacher, B: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

Freebie alert. On 4th July, at some time (God only knows what time exactly), The Quester's Guide To Saving It (The World, That Is) will be available to download for free for a limited time of 3 days. All we ask is that you put a review on the Zon after you've read it. That would be much appreciated, and helps us tons. Enjoy.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0B296F7MC/?coliid=I1JKY3X2ST0A4I&colid=2VBT0MVAZ82J0&psc=0&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it&fbclid=IwAR2xDU13VwkUdwHrdWtu-OHckHWI8TdEov7GtgDkDHVtFP2TyJdVC_gxxAM

The Quester's Guide To Saving It (The World, That Is): The Book Of The Podcast The Quester's Guide To Saving It (The World, That Is): The Book Of The Podcast eBook : Don't Fly, Green Cows, Duffy, Jon, Rickenbacher, B: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

Yay! Our book has received its first 5 star review. Thank you, K_L_Hill. We really appreciate it. The support from our readers means a lot. It's a great feeling to know that our followers are enjoying our work.

The Quester's Guide To Saving It (The World, That Is) is available on Amazon. £2.99 for the ebook, and £6.99 for the paperback and contains extras which aren't featured in the podcast.

So go for it, treat yourself. Reading it will cheer you up if you're in need of cheering up.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0B296F7MC/?coliid=I1JKY3X2ST0A4I&colid=2VBT0MVAZ82J0&psc=0&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it

Jon and B are back with a vengeance. Irradiated Steak Kebabs and Oven Chips anyone? Episode 1 of Season 2 has a recipe for you, and Brian’s pal Gerald pitches his new molecular gastronomy cookbook to B & Jon.

The Green Cows Don't Fly podcast is on Spotify, Apple Podcasts etc.

(Image by Artsiom Horsky from Pixabay)

Mooooooooo. The book is out.

B and Jon are excited to announce that The Quester's Guide To Saving it (The World, That is) is now on Amazon. Available as an ebook as well as a paperback, it contains the story in its entire glory, plus lots of never seen before content, like silly drawings, a recipe and bonus short stories. Enjoy.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0B296F7MC/?coliid=I1JKY3X2ST0A4I&colid=2VBT0MVAZ82J0&psc=0&ref_=lv_ov_lig_dp_it

The Quester's Guide To Saving It (The World, That Is): The Book Of The Podcast The Quester's Guide To Saving It (The World, That Is): The Book Of The Podcast eBook : Don't Fly, Green Cows, Duffy, Jon, Rickenbacher, B: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

Publication day is nearly here: the book of the podcast with the entire story in its full glory, plus lots of never seen before extras. Watch this space. We'll announce the release day with a moo!

Chapter 25 is out now, and it's the end. Of the tale that is, not of the podcast. The podcast will go on. Chapter 25 brings you the conclusion of the story, so join us and find out who wins the world: Grandolf or Phlardarse. Is Earth safe? Will we live happily ever after? Or will we all soon speak Pharsical and bow to a chubby despot? Green Cows Don't Fly is available wherever you get your podcast.

Oh, and here is a sneak preview of the front cover of the book. We'll update you as soon as the book is available, which is VERY soon.

Chapter 24 is out. This week, the questers find out why less is more when it comes to singing. The epic battle is hotting up, and it looks like they may just win against Phlardy's army. But then someone unleashes the mighty sword, Glabberdong ...

Chapter 23 is out there, and the search for the Key Of Svert continues. And the body count is going up. Grandolf has gone a bit unhinged.

Head over to , and others, and spend this Monday to Green Cow's Don't Fly .

Chapter 22 is out. The Pharse Hole is open. The coordinates are set. But King Phlardarse still hasn't lost any weight. He'll never be able to make it through.

He resorts to drastic measures. Now he's ready.

Ah, no. He's forgotten something. Thank gooodness, Scheiner is there to help.

Chapter 21. The showdown between Grandolf and Barbage is in full swing and the battle soon becomes quite epic, not. It's touch and go, not. Luckily, Grandolf is an expert at reading body language, not. Barbage has four b***s, yes she does, and they (the b***s, that is) seem to be the barometer for how well the fight is going for her, or not. And who ordered an Uber and why? All this, and much more, happens when you let A I have a go at writing. So head to your nearest podcast 'battlefield' and witness the ... well, ... battle.

Chapter 20 is out, and it's time. Grandolf v Barbage III. A big storm kicks up. It's so bad (the storm, that is) that Hilda and her husband Brian decide to go home (whoever Hilda and Brian are. They really should have gone to .) Eh?

Find us here:
https://www.podpage.com/green-cows-dont-fly/

The bus carrying the questers hangs precariously off the pier at Worthing. Will it fall into the sea (the bus, that is) and send our heroes to their certain death? Or can a little girl and her love for ice cream save them? And what's that dingy doing, rowing across the Channel from France? This episode is full of questions for which there are no sensible answers.

Chapter 19 of Green Cows Don't Fly is available now on Apple Podcast, Spotify and others

Chapter 18 is out.
The Questers are on the bus to Brighton, doing bus passenger things (like looking out of the window and kicking the seat in front), when all of a sudden ... Oh my God ... the worst thing of all worst things that could possibly happen on a bus happens. It might just be the end of the Quest.

Chapter 17 came out last Monday, so head over to Spotify and the like and have a listen.

It's called: A Bus Ride Beside The Tide.

They may be in Bognor but that doesn't mean the end of the quest. Now they are here, they now have to go there: to Brighton. Because the Key of Svert is inside the Box of Zwock, which is inside the rock of Brighton, which is ... But how can a group of heroic questers get to Brighton? The most convenient mode of transport perhaps? But as we all know, public transport isn't what it's promised to be.

That's Faybreeze, that is.

Or could this be Barbage III, the evil shape sh***er, I mean shapeshifter, pretending to be Faybreeze?

Either way, it's a s**t drawing and not fit for

Listen to Green Cows Don't Fly podcast on Apple Podcast, Spotify & others.

Chapter 16 is out. King Phlardarse is celebrating his 1 stone weight loss. He's treated himself to a new waistcoat and pantaloons. A Yodel driver has delivered it promptly. But, oh dear there might be trouble.

Is this Ologia, the warrior questress who's helping Grandolf save the world?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Or is it Pristina, the Elvis fan who was simply on her way to the shops when she was drawn into the quest?
Maybe. Maybe not.
Or...is this Mrs Phlardarse?
Definitely not.
Well, it's someone.

The Green Cows Don't Fly can be found on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and many more.

Episode 15 is out. We meet a new character and oh dear that person is in a bad mood. So bad it may just cause Armageddon right now.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/green-cows-dont-fly/id1578080895

Episode 14 is out.
Dawn breaks over the Scary Mountains, but oh, dear, one of the questers was murdered during the night. Whoever it is, he/she will have a cactus on his/her grave.

Episode 13 is out. The Questers begin their journey over the Scary Mountains, and immediately, they face an evil wind sent by King Phlardarse. Can they battle through? They must follow the Mystic Sat Nav thingamabob to find a way over the mountains. And can Kray Zell keep his hands to himself?

Wherever you get your podcasts.

The light is back on. Good. They can see the quest map and get their next set of instructions for their quest. Bognor here they come. One day. Maybe.

Tune into episode 12. The Green Cows Don't Fly podcast can be found everywhere you normally find podcasts.

What kinds of batteries do holograms need? And, where is the battery slot? Grandolf needs to know. Bob has started talking funny. Maybe he's low on power (Bob that is, not Grandolf). Any advice welcome.

Grandolf's diary entry for 25 Jan 22. And he was doing so well with his alcohol free month.

Grandolf bought a diary. To start journaling. Every quest needs a journal. A chronicle. After all Sylvester Stallone posts loadsa fab clips on his social media. The world needs to see how heroic he is. (It's Grandolf who's heroic.)

Follow Grandolf's quest here: https://anchor.fm/green-cow

Diary entry No 1 below:

Episode 8 is out now.

Faybreeze is dead, and Grandolf confronts the murderer. A breaks out. But who will win?

Our can be found on most podcast doodas, like this one here:

https://anchor.fm/green-cow

Happy New Year from the two green cows who don't fly, AKA Jon and B. May 2022 be filled with magic, wonders, stories, journeys, and nice dreams that become reality ... and of course, plenty of blackcurrant wine.