E A S y Health and Life Coaching

What is your temptation?

The battle we all face...⁣
⁣
Balancing living for today VS living for tomorrow.⁣
⁣
It's a battle between our short term / irrational mind VS our long term / rational mind. ⁣
⁣
Our short term / irrational mind doesn’t care about the future. It cares about removing any discomfort, and seeking pleasure. ⁣
⁣
On the other hand, our long term / rational mind is where our dreams, desires, and goals are. ⁣
⁣
If you want to act more rationally, remove temptations. It's one of the easiest ways to change your behavior without willpower.

From: Kim Barnstorf via LinkedIn

Who’s winning in your relationship?

I coached a couple a few weeks back.

The session before that we had worked out what triggers both of them and he was telling me about how “she had done it again”.

I asked permission to share something with him and he said – “yeah, go ahead.”

So I shared the below with them:

We sometimes compete with our partner.

We try to win.

That’s what we see way too often in everyday life and it’s a behavior we adopt.

To use a slightly different angle:

If you have a favorite sports team, it’s natural that you’d like them to win.

The opposition is considered the enemy and when your team wins, it’s likely you celebrate.

We fall into the trap of doing this in our relationship as well where our partner is our “enemy”.

When we “win” relational conflicts, it isn’t much cause for celebration, because in the process, we’ve inadvertently created a loser.

In the end we both lose:
connection, closeness, trust, intimacy and more.

So, now what?

It’s definitely about winning!
You need to win as a couple.

You win by
resolving conflict,
respecting each other,
growing closer,
supporting each other,
growing alongside each other and
loving each other.

What opens up for you?

When we’re quiet ...

We are able to:

👉🏼 Listen

👉🏼 Learn

👉🏼 Let others add value

Agree?

Like ✅ Comment ✅ Share ✅

I have some very good news.

This is the simplest yet the most underestimated clear fact. Many of you will think, oh sure, how creative of you to bring this up!
However this very simple statement seems to have very little power when we are at the top of our feelings. Anger can be triggered by many things, it can go far too.

I used to get really angry and I remember getting tantrum like phases. Not only me but the person I was having the argument with also used to have a very hard time.
Moreover after everything is over, mind can hardly accept the destructive state it has created. I used to come up with rational reasons to support my anger.

What a big waste of time and energy.

Had I knew this simple fact, or shall I say "had I acted on this information and started observing my mind", then everything would be completely different.

Our time is precious. We are responsible for how we use it or waste it. When we start the observation, we become aware of every moment and then we can start the change, to be able to spend our time in our best versions.

The “yes … and” game.

No matter what your partner says – imagine they were 10% right.

We often fall into the judgement trap and thoughts like these happen INSTANTLY
“No.”
“Your’re wrong.”
“This is BS.”

… and we often enough voice those thoughts too.

We are not listening.

By doing that we shut the other person down.

No matter what they were going to say.

What this results in:

😳 Shock
👀 Mistrust
😩 Pain
🥺 Sadness
🤬 Anger
☠️ Withdrawal

These are all killers when it comes to creating loving and thriving relationships.

Here’s my invitation to you:
👣 Lead by example,
🌱 nurture yourself and your relationship and
🌱 listen carefully.
🌱 find something that’s “right” or true in what they are saying.
🌱 say “yes … and”.

See what opens up!

And if you struggle with this – I am here to serve and support you.

Book a FREE call with me where we’ll explore
where you’re at and more importantly
where you’d like to get to.

Deets in the first comment.

How to make your conversations safe and productive?

Today I'd like to share some more communication enablers as I like to call them:

1. Use scripts / structured approaches
These will support your communication a great deal.

2. Schedule a time
Ask your partner “is now a good time to speak?”
They will either say “yes” or “no”. If it is a “no” they need to offer an alternative in the near future.

3. Get the situation/context right
Find a good place to have your conversation.

4. Make rules when there is a touchy topic
These will help you pause and stop you from falling into old patterns.

5. Agree on telling the other person the truth
This will create safety.

6. Come up with a cue
e.g. holding up your hand to slow down your partner

These ideas might feel a bit technical but they do help – especially when we are talking about things that are difficult for us to bring up.

Using the 6 aspects above will help you
- slow down your communication and
- make it safer which in turn will support you in creating a thriving and loving relationship.

See which idea(s) you like and make them work for you!

P.S. There is no right or wrong - it’s all about being functional or not functional.

Just in case you are having one of those days where 'life is too hard today', I wanted to give ya a quick list that can help keep the ball rolling when it comes to getting s**t done.

Ask yourself, am I being effective or just busy?

Then, depending on what that answer is - which one of these are you going to change the energy within?

For those of you having a badass day - which one do you consider your golden secret to success?

Do you have 5 hobbies that support each of these areas?

In which order do you prioritize these?

Every habit is perfectly designed to give you the exact experience you are having. If you don't like the reality, change your habits & hobbies.

For me personally, my order goes:
shape -> mindset -> money -> teach -> creative

I'm sure it will change as the years go on but it's important to reflect on WHAT it is you're doing, WHO it is you are being, WHY that is important to you & HOW to set yourself up with accountability.

Are you being effective, or just busy?
Is how you are spending your time a reflection of your values?
What obstacles are you facing; in yourself, your career or relationships?
How long as it been like that?
What is it costing you not to fix it?
How much longer can you live with this?

Change is uncomfortable...
-it's not hard
-it's not too long
-it's not overwhelming
-it's not too much money

By not creating change is what makes your life experience of life 'hard', 'never ending', 'overwhelming' and 'too expensive'.

Your life consists of what you tolerate.
🔹If you have a job that you hate, yet you wake up and walk into work every day to it – what does that behavior reflect to you?
🔹If you are in an unhealthy relationship where your partner continuously sabotages or abuses, yet you stay – what does that decision reflect to you?
🔹If you are struggling to feel connected or have a sense of community, yet you order in every night so you can watch TV or play video games – how do you expect your community to grow?

What are you thankful for today?
Pause. Reflect.

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Incredible story and journey! Looking to improve your life and health? Contact Adam at MBT today and tell him you want a change in your life!

I’d love to work with you! No judgement, just curiosity!

www.MyBodyTutor.com

Self-Love does NOT heal, NOR does self-care

In my line of work as a life, leadership & connection coach I have found in myself, my clients, and all relationships need a whole lot more than self-love when desiring to establish a life where you flow through relationships of understanding, connection, and respect.

January and February are months that can cause hope, excitement & commitment in some....While for others it brings on stress, unrealistic expectations, and shame.
Not to mention, February was the month we reach the notorious 12th month of living during a global pandemic.
If we break it down, I feel it is safe to say no one could have prepared for the distress, disconnect, and discomfort Covid-19 has induced or exacerbated whether it be personally, professionally or politically. We as a nation have had a lot to sift through and endure while in isolation.
As a certified coach in life, leadership, connection, and habit change I have found a lot of success in becoming disciplined in three concepts that enable you to take ownership in your mindset, regulate your emotions, and commit to actions for a happier, healthier 2021.

The Ruler Method for monitoring & articulating emotions
March for me personally is about honing in on feelings & emotions.
5 most important areas your feelings impact:
💥Learning
💥Decision-Making
💥Relationships
💥Health -Physical & Mental
💥Creativity

It's frustrating when you are not seeing the change you want; in your energy, your body, your relationships, your career...
It's very easy to into level 1 consciousness, victimhood. "life is happening to me"
However, there are two vital components necessary in order to create change
1️⃣ awareness, without it you will not be able to create understanding
2️⃣ accountability, without it you will be able to create change
Where a lot of people 'go wrong' is they don't set themselves up with the right system, support, and accountability.
Some people need 1:1, non-bias, more frequent, hug is in the bitch-slap loving accountability.
Other people need small group, community, 1x/month to join & learn from others.
It's month two of what can be this ever-changing year for how you live your life.
If you are serious about change -let's have a strategy session to see where you can start & what you can do to start creating change NOW.
Click here: www.easyhealthandlifecoaching.com

We are raised in a society that can keep us somewhat trapped into thinking that needs vs wants are 'soooo' different.
An example of this is if we were to compare Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs & The 7 Chakras; one Eastern, the other Western. BOTH necessary.
However, somehow it is easy to get caught up in forgetting the advantage and complexity that comes with being a human.
You have thoughts, beliefs, feelings, emotions, attitudes, actions or inactions that can and will create literally ANYTHING & EVERYTHING you experience.
The battle around this is remaining in check with being aware of what's really going on.
Your WANTS are check-ins;
-what is suffering?
-what is celebrating?
-what is wanting to grow?
-what is needing a rest?

We are mentally conditioned to be contractive people. To make matters worst, then throw in the discomfort that vulnerability, self-judgment & shame induce on us.
You are capable and deserving of having ANYTHING & EVERYTHING you want yet as you read that there is likely 70-80% of you that subconsciously thinks 'yeah right'.
Proving my point exactly - when you get into practice of addressing how it is you really feel, what it is you actually want - it makes getting into action THAT MUCH EASIER.
Nonetheless when you share it with people you'll get really clear on the relationships/habits that need to stay & the relationships/habits that need to go.
Self-advocacy, Self-love/compassion, Relentless boundaries and respect to core values is needed more than ever.
Do your part in honoring how it is you feel, & what it is you want so that those who love, respect & support you can show up!
Drop an emoji below to describe how you are feeling.
Or if you're into chakras/energy - leave a heart in the color of chakra you are most present to today.

I touched on this last week but really want to reiterate the importance as we go into the weekend. What unmet need do you need to share in order to feel seen, heard & create connection?
The pandemic has taken a REAL toll on a lot of relationships & it continues to do so as each day passes.
Is the constant arguing annoying? yes
Is the frustration from continual criticism enough to make you want to flee the scene? yes
I get it. Me too.
Are you able to articulate what type of relationship conflict you are in?
fight : fight
flee : fight
flee : flee
By becoming aware of the patterns are portraying can & will allow you to change up the name of the game in regards to addressing the unmet emotional need. It's not to say it is going to be rainbows & unicorns once it's actually verbalized/requested...but by being firm on wanting to get a better grasp on your partner/loved ones inner map can & will only bring you two closer.
If the pandemic has taught me anything personally, it's the disconnect & heartbreak that comes from allowing a relationship to not only become stagnant/complacent but also not staying committed to continually studying/noticing/inquiring what my partners internal experience really is.
And for that, shame on that laziness.

FLOW INTO Wednesday LIKE...
Managing emotions can be difficult these days.
❤️Give yourself permission to feel.
🧘🏻‍♀️Time to regulate.
🤮Conversations to articulate.
When we hold in and compress - we depress ourselves.
When we let it out and express - we liberate ourselves.
This isn’t a free pass to be an as***le - it’s a check-in.

Unmet Emotional needs always come out in frustrations, complaints, or criticisms. ⠀
⠀
The more unmet emotional needs you have in a relationship the more unsafe your conscious & subconscious feel - sometimes this being very hard to come to grasps with. ⠀
⠀
Ways to help course correct so you can feel safe again/create deeper connection/have intimacy:⠀
🌡️ stop getting lost in the context/content of argument, dive right in to the 'what unmet need is my partner or employee really needing?'⠀
🌡️ get clear on your conflict resolution strategy⠀
🌡️ know your love language, how do you receive it⠀
🌡️ know your love profession, how do you give it⠀
🌡️ speak up, ask for what you want⠀
🌡️ give yourself what it is you need, as in, don't rely on someone else to meet your needs⠀
⠀
I think it is interesting that as humanity we are conditioned to bracket off who we are depending on the type of environment or given the status quo - when in reality - humans are humans. We all need to feel loved, safe & a sense of belonging.⠀
⠀
How you show up in the office should not vary far from how you show up in the kitchen. The attention you give someone in the bedroom should not be any different than boardroom.⠀
⠀
Relationships are relationships. Connection is connection. ⠀
⠀
I give you permission to be you, all of you, in all you do. ⠀
⠀

I used to compromise myself in so many different ways...

With health, relationships, emotionally, my purpose, spiritually...

It’s been a long journey of undoing this...of unlearning the self-compromising patterns...and learning how to honor & love myself...physically, psychologically, spiritually...

In fact, it is an ongoing journey...

Are you on a similar journey of undoing the old patterns & tapping into the new? Are you on a journey of learning what it means to truly love yourself?

"When I start eating, it feels like I can't stop."⁣⁣ 👇🏻
⁣⁣⁣
"The more I eat, the more I want."⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
"Candy makes me hungrier and sends my cravings into overdrive."⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Sound familiar?⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
There's a reason certain foods have such a powerful pull...⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣..because they're engineered to be addicting!⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Remember Lay's potato chips "Betcha can't eat just one!" and Pringles "Once you pop, you can't stop"?⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Well, those aren't just catchy slogans...⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
The combo of salt, sugar, and fat makes food hyper-palatable and overrides our brain's ability to regulate itself.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Which foods? Nearly everything that comes in a box or bag.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
You see, it's not our fault that we can't stop eating these foods -- they're designed that way!⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
So this isn't a question of "trying harder" or "needing more willpower"...⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
And it's not a character or personality flaw...⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
It's a question of understanding the type of person you are.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Are you an abstainer or moderator? Is it easier for you to have none or some?⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
Some people can moderate. They can have one cookie and move on. But others (like me) become a cookie monster and want more and more.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
So for me, it's actually easier to have none than some.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
It's more comfortable because the feeling of wanting more and more -- being insatiable -- feels terrible.⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
So, before you eat something like candy, stop and ask: ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
-- How will I feel a few bites in? ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
-- Will eating this satisfy me or make me insatiable? ⁣⁣⁣
⁣⁣⁣
BTW: I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy your favorite treats. The goal is to be fit and happy, not fit and miserable! However, if you do and feel like you can't stop, you'll know why.

Understanding cognitive dissonance is a game changer. 👇🏻⁣
⁣
Cognitive dissonance is the tension we feel when we have two conflicting desires and/or beliefs. ⁣
⁣
For example, let's take a smoker. ⁣
⁣
It is well known that smoking ci******es can cause lung cancer yet every person I've ever met wants to live a long, healthy and vibrant life.⁣
⁣
But the short term mind of a smoker enjoys smoking. ⁣
⁣
The uncomfortable tension caused by these two opposing desires is known as dissonance. As humans, we look to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling. This is known as dissonance reduction.⁣
⁣
The only way to get rid of this uncomfortable feeling is by a) quitting smoking b) denying that people actually get sick from smoking or c) justifying and rationalizing.⁣
⁣
So, a smoker could rationalize their behavior by believing that few people get sick from smoking, it only happens to people who smoke more than they do, if smoking doesn't kill them something else will, they'll quit next year, they only live once (yolo), they deserve to smoke or it's too expensive to quit.⁣
⁣
In essence...⁣
⁣
-They need to take action, which is to quit smoking and get whatever help they need. (

I am officially official! Check out our website! Scroll down and there I’ll be!

https://www.mybodytutor.com/pages/tutors/

Meet the Tutors - My Body Tutor Meet the Tutors Our tutors are highly qualified and have years of experience helping people reach their health and fitness goals. They know how to get you the results you want, and they understand how to get you through anything and everything that will get in the way. Our tutors are not only very.....

Do you feel a disconnect to a greater being than yourself? Why is that? Together we will dive deep into your spiritual relationship and see what the struggle is for loving that which is greater.

That Which is Greater
12 Weekly, Private, One-On-One Coaching Sessions with Me
Learn to appreciate That Which is Greater than yourself.
Uncover what has stopped you from embracing these changes
Discover new exercise to help change your mindset

What are your needs for love? What makes a good relationship? Whether it is a romantic relationship or friends and family, let's work together to bring the love back into your life!

Coaching on Love and Relationships
12 Weekly, Private, One-On-One Coaching Sessions with Me
Learn what your needs and wants are for optimal love.
Uncover what has stopped you from embracing these changes.
Discover new exercise to help change your mindset.

What are your plans for your money? What do you want to do with it when you are no longer here? What kind of legacy would you like to leave?
We will dive deep into the nitty gritty of what you want to do with your money and why you want to do what you want with it!

Coaching on Money
12 Weekly, Private, One-On-One Coaching Sessions with Me
Learn to manage your money for optimal financial security.
Uncover what has stopped you from embracing these changes.
Discover new exercise to help change your mindset.

Do you know what Stress does to your body?

Wanna find out?!

Coaching on Stress
4 Weekly, Private, One-On-One Coaching Sessions with Me
Learn to switch out of a stressed state for optimal health
Develop healthy habits in to behaviors that last
Uncover what has stopped you from embracing these changes
Discover new exercise to help change your mindset

Deepak Chopra MD (official)

"Total Meditation - Practices in Living an Awakened Life" is now available... plus receive bonus gifts for a limited time.

What are you going to be when you grow up? Or maybe you are already grown up. Either way, deciding what we want to do with the rest of our lives is scary!
By working with me we can break it down and really find what your strengths and wants are!

Coaching on Career
12 Weekly, Private, One-On-One Coaching Sessions with Me
Learn to engage with yourself for optimal career choices.
Uncover what has stopped you from embracing these changes.
Discover new exercise to help change your mindset.

Shared from: https://www.facebook.com/MyBodyTutor

"When I start eating, it feels like I can't stop."⁣⁣
⁣⁣
"The more I eat, the more I want."⁣⁣
⁣⁣
"Candy makes me hungrier and sends my cravings into overdrive."⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Sound familiar?⁣⁣
⁣⁣
There's a reason certain foods have such a powerful pull...⁣⁣
⁣⁣..because they're engineered to be addicting!⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Remember Lay's potato chips "Betcha can't eat just one!" and Pringles "Once you pop, you can't stop"?⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Well, those aren't just catchy slogans...⁣⁣
⁣⁣
The combo of salt, sugar, and fat makes food hyper-palatable and overrides our brain's ability to regulate itself.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Which foods? Nearly everything that comes in a box or bag.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
You see, it's not our fault that we can't stop eating these foods -- they're designed that way!⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So this isn't a question of "trying harder" or "needing more willpower"...⁣⁣
⁣⁣
And it's not a character or personality flaw...⁣⁣
⁣⁣
It's a question of understanding the type of person you are.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Are you an abstainer or moderator? Is it easier for you to have none or some?⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Some people can moderate. They can have one cookie and move on. But others (like me) become a cookie monster and want more and more.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So for me, it's actually easier to have none than some.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
It's more comfortable because the feeling of wanting more and more -- being insatiable -- feels terrible.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
So, before you eat something like candy, stop and ask: ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
-- How will I feel a few bites in? ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
-- Will eating this satisfy me or make me insatiable? ⁣⁣
⁣⁣
BTW: I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy your favorite treats. The goal is to be fit and happy, not fit and miserable! However, if you do and feel like you can't stop, you'll know why.

Shared from: https://www.facebook.com/MyBodyTutor

At some point in your life, you will come to a cross roads. What will you do? Let me help!

Coaching on Life
12 Weekly, Private, One-On-One Coaching Sessions with Me
Learn what direction you truly desire you life to go in.
Develop healthy life decisions that will last.
Uncover what has stopped you from embracing these changes.
Discover new exercise to help change your mindset.

He makes all things beautiful in His sight!
•
It is easy to be critical of ourselves. To focus on the flaws, not on the positive. You were fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator. Let him begin a work in you and transform you from the inside out. Invite Him to help you make the lifelong habit changes that need changing. Ask Him what matters. True Joy comes from within. It will never be found through the number on a scale, or size of clothing. Yes, those can bring satisfaction and even pleasure, but only Christ can give true happiness.
•
Shine for Jesus!

Taken from: https://www.facebook.com/MyBodyTutor

It's not a question of IF... ⁣
⁣
-We'll overindulge⁣
-We'll eat more than we intended to⁣
-We'll have a lousy workout⁣
-We'll skip exercise⁣
-We're not as productive as planned⁣
-We'll have a less than "perfect" day⁣
⁣
It's going to happen. Such is life. We're not robots!⁣
⁣
It's only a question of how quickly you will recover WHEN it happens.⁣
⁣
👉🏻 The easy pattern to follow is the old: ⁣
⁣
"Screw it, I can't be perfect so why bother."⁣
⁣
👉🏻 The new pattern to create is this:⁣
⁣
"I'm going to make a U-turn and practice recovering right away."⁣
⁣
This isn't an all or nothing game. All or nothing leads to nothing every single time.⁣
⁣
Instead of all or nothing, aim for always something.

Post from: https://www.facebook.com/MyBodyTutor