Coaching with Evita

I am re-setting boundaries with myself. Boundaries that help me feel I am living life that feels vibrant and good. Boundaries that help me be content with how I am living it.

Recently I have been floating in life, seeing where it takes me. Reacting to the incoming requests, pings, questions that life keeps offering instead of waking up and deciding that today THIS is my direction, this is where I want my day to go.

Self-inquiry and self-care have been put in a background for a bit. It happens. (I guess for all of us). And yet it doesn’t have to mean that all the efforts I’ve done before are now “down the bin”.

What I choose to put importance on is to return to the place where I know what the boundaries of my life are. Where I know what and who I am letting in and what no longer crosses it.

Setting boundaries with myself is about deciding what becomes important in my life.

After having had a period of feeling annoyed about how my life goes, it became clear that what was important in my life and how I actually lived my life, was not how I wanted it to be.

So, I am sitting down and setting my boundaries again. Just because they have become blurred, does not mean that I can’t redecide what is important to me right now and follow that. I CAN redecide over and over again what is important in my life.

We all can (re)decide what is truly important for us. I encourage you to give yourself that gift.

As a coach I often work on overwhelm🤯, time management⏳ and prioritization with my clients. Because life in this time and age IS very challenging and demanding and often we lack the tools to make it feel lighter and more streamlined..

Imagine my frustration when I found myself in an overwhelming spin of thoughts😶‍, to-do lists📃 and email replies without a feeling that there’s a way out earlier this week.

It happens to all of us - we know the theory. We know what is THE THING to do but we just DON'T DO IT.🤷‍♀️

Most of these times when we are stuck we need someone to sound our state of mind to, someone that can hold a safe and non-judgemental space for what is happening in us and then help us see which is our way out.

This is what coaching does. This is why coaches have coaches. There is this magical time and space in a coaching session where YOU get to have undivided and loving attention to work through what feels hard to work through on your own.🫶

You don’t have to do everything on your own. There is no merit in doing it the hard way, suffering silently or thinking that asking for help is weak.

We all need help when we are stuck. All of us. And it's so OK to need and ask for help.

If you feel overwhelmed or stuck right now or if there is an area in your life you want to change, book a free coaching session. What do you have to loose? 😉

Link in my bio.

Have any questions? Or want to try out coaching (for free!)? I’m here for you!

When you grow up in an oppressive environment, you are giving “lessons” or baggage for life you carry along. Like: don’t stand out. Don’t be too loud. Know your place. You can not want anything for yourself. And many others.

Having grown up in communism, this was my baggage to take along in life. I was secretly dreaming of making changes in life but never actually dared to do anything.

I was telling myself that an average feeling about my life is just good enough.

I was saying that if I have material security, that’s the place I need to be and stay.

My aspirations for life were those. Because I was taught not to want more. Not to dare to dream. Not to be listening to myself. Not to know who I am.

I believe many of us have received similar “guidelines” and without understanding that these are damaging words, we have been putting ourselves in boxes that don’t feel like ours.

We have been doing what we “should be doing” and have increasingly felt empty inside.

We have tried copying in many ways and yet that emptiness stayed.

Until one day, a decision becomes available to us. To no longer tell that BS to ourselves. To learn to believe that we are meant for more. To learn to dare to become someone more. To challenge ourselves to create a new path in life where your light shines so bright that others are asking - what’s your secret.

For me that change came through coaching and being supported on my inner exploration. A coach helped me SEE a new version of myself, BELIEVE that it is possible that I can change and GAVE ME TOOLS to support myself in a journey.

That choice of not believing my own BS any more has been life changing for me in so many ways and it still is every single time I call myself out on some s**t story I’ve been telling myself.

If you feel stuck in your life, know that you can have someone in your corner, helping you on your transformation journey. And it feels great to have that!

If you are curious to find out how coaching can help YOU, DM me and let's set up a call. Who knows where you could be in a year from now if you start your journey today?

I wonder how all of our lives would look like if we would stop postponing on our dreams?

What would happen if we took out those ideas that tickled our hearts and left our stomachs full of butterflies and started realising them one little step at a time?

Would there be more joy in the world? Would there be more happiness?

Who knows. But what I do know is that postponing or giving up on what was lighting you up is not a strategy, nor is it a smart choice.

It's a way to live life that you feel trapped in.

If you are in that place, know that you have all the power to start moving out of it.

I invite you to ponder over this today - what is the most impactful positive action you can take today?

Can you give someone an extra hug? Do it.

Can you help out to a colleague who is drowning under the work? Do it.

Can you show up with kindness to those you meet today? Do it.

It's the small steps that start the big movement within.

Start today.

If you would give yourself permission to go out and try what you've been called to do without focusing on "getting it right", what would you go out and try?

It’s World Mental Health day today and to me that means a check-in with myself is in place.

Very often I slide into an automatic pattern, automatic living and checking in with myself helps me see if that pattern helps me or harms me.

So, today I’m asking myself and perhaps you can benefit from these questions as well

1. What are my current habits that are helping me grow, be at peace and connect? How can I be more mindful of them and incorporate more of them?
2. What are my current habits that are depleting my energy, leaving me in a place where I feel stuck? How can I limit or transform these habits?

Looking at both of these angles right now I see that meditation, learning, journaling, dancing, drumming - are all activities that bring me joy, calm, more presence and awareness. But I’m lacking more connection with people I love and appreciate. Something I will cultivate more.

And as for the energy suckers - definitely I have social media where I can disappear for hours, an open mailbox with an increasing amount of emails and being unintentional are all biggest energy suckers for me.

I’d say my current level of being on a positive balance is around 50/50. NOT an excellent score.

So, what now?

It’s time to take responsibility for my life if I want that balance to go in a different direction.

How?

Becoming intentional. So, I know that connection is something I want to have more - I can send a message to a friend, or call someone and chat or go for a dinner with my partner. Boom, a set of ideas.

How about those negative patterns?

Well, social media - decide what I’ll do in the time I’d usually scroll. Reading a book or hanging out with my kids are both nice alternatives. A good night sleep as well.
Mailbox issues? I’ll open it at designated times when I will be fully present to replying to all those emails
As for living unintentionally - this simple check-in is helping me solve it.

And how about you my friend? What are your current habits that replenish you, give you joy and what sucks your energy? How could you change the balance, if it is not where you want it to be?

I’d love to know what’s going on for you!

Hey, I wanted to share something with you that's been going on for me.

I've felt for a while that I am stuck in a place where everything seemed unexciting. A place where slowly I saw myself giving up on various aspects of my life that previously were important to me.

I felt I was not advancing enough, I was not brave enough, I was not smart enough… you see the tonality here, right? I deemed myself somehow "not good enough."

I've done this before. I've lived in that space for years, so the physical sensation in my body is immediately recognizable.

And I hate that feeling.

So, I am making myself a gift this time, a gift of choice to get the F out of that space. To not let my old fears and my old self drag me down to a place I used to hang out.

I know that I am good enough. I know that you are good enough. I know that each and every one of us is good enough. Not only that, we are also each so unique, so special, so amazing. We simply are.

And each of us can and need to bring that goodness, that uniqueness to the world we live in and co-create.

It's my responsibility in this lifetime to do work that matters and improves the world. It is my responsibility to contribute to the best of my abilities.

And so to get unstuck, I will be making different choices. That's it.

If I want a different result, I need to do things differently, feel differently, and think differently.

That's the magic formula in my life.

One of the crucial things to learn in the coach training is the skill to be non-judgemental for your clients. A skill I did not possess prior and found fascinating to learn. I've applied it many times in my life for myself and only seen a better outcome when using it. However, we are all human, right? And even if we have the best of intentions and want to do and be our best, we are still human and can "falling off the vagon"..

I was having this unexpected "falling off" experience yesterday as I was entering my dance class, observing some women who clearly had formed some friendships from previous seasons and were practicing the dance choreography we are learning.

I looked at them and thought: “What show-offs. They just go in front of the room and take all the space and show off that they have been training and know the moves better than others”.

A poisonous-like feeling was starting to run through my body as I realized that I was in the judge-until-you-drop town.

As I was experiencing the judgment and looking for straws inside of me to try to turn it around, I decided that rather I will allow myself to be a human and just be that judgy version of me right there.

Surrounding mirrors were reflecting my emotion splashed all over my face whilst my classmates were simply being free and t enjoying the way movement feels in their body.

Thankfully the music starting the class kicked me right out of that judgment town, letting me release unconsciously deep ingrained views how women should or should not be.

By the end of that class I was looking at them, performing in front of us and I could feel glimpses of happiness for them and an inspiration for myself to take up the space, to enjoy life and simply be proud that I am.

I hope you are proud of who you are today as well!

There are parts of the adult world I deeply dislike dealing with. Like organizing bills, following up on mix ups with payments, contacting companies for clarifications etc. You know - everything that even remotely reminds me of bureaucracy.

My strategy to deal with what eventually becomes unavoidable, so far, has been to postpone it. For so long until it becomes extremely urgent and then you know I just do it. All the feeling bad and almost like some kind of fugitive of responsibilities

I hated that feeling as I was once again procrastinating dealing with a bill that I shouldn’t have received in the first place.

So you know what I did? I told myself to get a better mindset and this is how I got from “let me write and send that email “at some point”” to actually doing it.

I thought of garbage in my home. I don’t particularly like bringing them out, taking the compost to the compost box through the wet grass, or taking the gross garbage bag out of the container, trying to squeeze all the contents down and bring it out. I don’t like it and yet I do it.

Why?

Because I don’t want garbage to pile up in my house and stink it all up and/or have some fruit flies or whatever the heck that is that start flying around at some point when one leaves garbage out.

That analogy, that gross image in my head, gave me the kick I needed. In reality I don’t want the s**t hitting the fan with the admin staff. I don’t want reminders with late fees coming in (= fruit flies) or court notices (=worms in the compost box) or whatever the heck might come next. I don’t want to deal with an even bigger administration down the road and when I reminded myself of that, the first thing I did today, I did it.

I sat down, focused myself completely on the administrative task at hand and 10 minutes later an elaborate email with all attachments and follow up steps was sent.

Did I like doing it? Hell, no.

But I immensely enjoyed the feeling of having done it.

It’s almost like the garbage bags have been changed and my house smells all nice again.

I suggest you try it as well with whatever you’re procrastinating with. And let me know if it worked for you the same way it did for me.

We are ALWAYS making a choice in our lives whether we like it or not. Whether we do it consciously or not. We are always making a choice. How about making some awesome choices for yourself today? ;)

We are all led by emotions whether we want to admit it or not. They are the ones responsible for how we act, what we do or don’t do.They are there to ignite us into action or to hide from something that we are scared of. They are the ones responsible for whether we will be friendly or hostile to someone or something.

Yet in a professional setting emotions are seen as a sign of weakness. 🤯My guess is because most of the professional settings have been set up in a way where productivity , results, goals trump anything else and anything else is considered useless or annoying.

Whilst all of the above is important in a business world, the way in which you will achieve it or fail at it will be led by emotions.

Want to have a highly functioning team that delivers all the time without taking time to think about their motivation, commitment, alignment, stress, inclusion (just to name a few of emotions)? You won’t succeed. 👎

Want to be coming into work and seeing productivity raising, team members collaborating and projects coming to an outcome you want to see but don’t want to think or invest your time into creating safety, inspiration, freedom, trust (just to name other few emotions)? You won’t succeed.👎

𝐖𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠. Every single day. Emotions are what separate us from everything else on this planet.

We need stop dismissing them as something not important or childish or weakness and instead start focusing on how we can all contribute to creating an emotional environment where we come into with joy, pleasure and a wish to contribute.

I needed this reminder for myself today and hope it's comes at the right time for you as well!

Nothing is impossible for you. Nothing! 🤘💪💪😉🤩

Confidence does not come from being someone else. It comes from recognizing how unique you already are and showing THAT to the world.

Want to build your self-confidence? Let’s work together! Book a free coaching session to see how I could help. Link in my bio.

Giving up is not necessarily a bad thing.

I have given up on things that I loved in the name of having more time and space for other things that I loved even more

I have given up relationships with people with whom it felt like that relationship was completed or one-sided.

I have given up many versions of myself that no longer were aligned with priorities, wishes, goals, and values I wanted to create in my life.

I have given up many many many expectations in my life in order to have a happier life.

How I see it - it depends on what your reason is for giving up something.

If it is for you to free up mental, emotional, spiritual, physical space to move onto the next chapter of your life, to enjoy your life more, to be more present for what you need, I'd definitely invite you to savor your decision to give up things, places, people, experiences that hinder you from that.

Giving up, when your reasons are crystal clear to you and you stand by them, is an act of self-love, self-kindness, and honesty..

What do you know you are ready to give up?

Need help in making changes in your life? Book a free coaching session to see how coaching can help you. Link to book in my bio.

beyou

Overwhelm comes to us when we think that everything is equally important and urgent.

Slow down and ask yourself what matters. Truly, what matters to you. And then go from there!!

Need help with priorities and feeling like you're in charge of your life?

Coaching is an excellent way of doing that. Book a free coaching session with me and see for yourself! Link in my bio.

mindse

I've had a doubt about myself my whole life.

What am I here to do? What's my purpose? What am I actually good at?

I always focused on asking these questions and my only answer was - I DON'T KNOW.

I let that answer be the answer that kept me stuck in the same place because if I didn't know, I didn't need to make any changes in my life, right?

“I don't know” seems like a valid reply. It seems so true and so definitive. I don't know what the heck I'm good at. I don't know what's my purpose here or whether I make any impact.

This “valid” reply is your fear trying to protect you from exploring things that are new and therefore could be “dangerous”. Potentially. Or for sure. Or never.. But let’s better keep it safe than be burned?

This reply cuts off any access to our inner creativity, ideas, knowing, nudges. And the only thing it helps with is being continuously stuck…

So today I invite you not to accept "I don't know" as an answer.

I invite you to call out your own BS and say: "Even if I hadn't known up until now, I am choosing to find out. I am choosing to find out what I am attracted to, what I am called to do. I am choosing to see and notice what sparks my interest. I am choosing to follow my gut instinct, my intuition. I'm choosing to be somebody who is moving forwards and keeps growing."

Does this sound too vague?? Want to have more concrete steps? Check for more in comments 😉

I am inspired by many courageous women around me. Women who follow their hearts, their intuitions, their callings, their truths. They all had decided to say yes to something in them that felt like a bigger and truer version of themselves being born. I am forever grateful for all the amazing human beings I have had the luck to meet and all of those I am still to meet.

Step into your power, my friend and do that thing that excites you!

In life we all have aspirations. There's that “thing” that's calling our attention. That area that we are interested in so much more than others and most of the time we seem not to be capable of diving deep enough to make those aspirations reality.

Why?

Because we make it too big.

If you look at what you want, I bet it seems like a humongous thing. Want to declutter a house? Damn, that's a big thing.

Want to get a new job? Damn, that seems like a lot of work.

Want to work on your relationship with (partner/money/kids/family)? Who wants to start untangling all of that - that's just too much!

So, often we give up even before starting. We settle for what is. We go for mediocracy. Even if our whole being is screaming to have something that's extraordinary to us.

Here's how to make it a reality. MAKE IT SMALLER (not the dream - but the way you get there).

Divide the big goal into actionable steps. Into habits that you can implement, into tiny actions you can take.

Make it into something that you can actually do and that will build a momentum, leaving a snowball effect on your life leading to that goal, that wish right there.

You don't need to do everything at once. You can't and you never will.

But if you make it smaller and let it build, you'll be surprised by how much you can change.

So, right now. Pull that dream up, pull that aspiration in front of you and let yourself know which is the first tiny step you could take today.

Take this post as a sign to stop scrolling😉, searching for an answer/thrill/emotion outside of you and instead listen to your inner guidance system system.

How does your life feel to you right now? How do you want it to feel? What needs to change for you to get where you want to be?

Don't know how to do that? Book a free coaching session with me and let yourself discover what you want to change in your life right now. Link in the bio.

Most of us will know what 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐦 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞. That feeling that the job at hand is too much, that the dream is too big, that there are just too many demands on us. This “𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡” 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐮𝐬 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠.

Procrastination, hello! Followed by guilt for not doing what we know either needs to be done at some point in any way or would bring us closer to a life that we want. Then followed by some self-judgment that just brings us deeper into overwhelm-procrastination-guilt-judgement cycle.

With such a state of mind, I do not feel like doing the tasks or looking for solutions, I am trying to avoid it - does this sound familiar?

Here's good news. There's a way to break that cycle.

🤏Start small. Break that big overwhelming thing into small actions.
💪Then take one small action at a time that, when stacked, will get the job done!!
🥳Reward your action taking self
💪Repeat until the result you want is there and you feel like an overwhelm-busting superheroine!

Like, if you have an overflowing mailbox (ehm.. This one's familiar😭 and you've been avoiding to deal with it because “there are just too many emails” 😱, decide to do only let's say 10 emails (it could also be 5 or 3 or whatever feels like a better number to you) and that's it. Deal with those emails and then give yourself a reward - be it a short break, or whatever feels like a good reward to you.

Cutting it down and taking one tiny action step helps us start the movement. We can tell ourselves, that the tiny step was not THAT bad and that we can take another tiny step today that brings us closer to what we want. And the reward reinforces us to repeat that step the next time.

It's your magic spell against overwhelm, my friends. Go cast it and if it doesn't work out, come back to me and let's work a unique spell that works for you and your life! (link to a free coaching session in my bio)

If we are not showing up as ourselves fully, we stay in a perpetually triggered and unhappy state, feeling like we are not appreciated for who we are.

There are people who say there's never enough time and there are people who seemingly manage to do everything they set their mind to. What's the difference between them?

Without going into a gross overgeneralization, the baseline is how each of them treat their time. Both of them will have the 24h but one will think that they can fit things in somehow and the other person decides the priorities, allocates time slots and follows-up on the plan.

It might sound unsexy to be organized and intentional about our time because where's the spontaneity, right?

I hear you. I LOVE the freedom of deciding in the moment what to do, where to go.

BUT there is a difference between being spontaneous with a list of unfinished business in the back of the mind vs completing what was planned AND having time to be spontaneous.

I have been on both sides of the story and I can tell you that intentionality about your time is one of the main components that gives your life the direction you want. It gives you a sense of control, achievement and appreciation. Because you get to do what you said you would and you get to enjoy your life.

I'm a passionate believer that when we start looking at what our time is devoted to, we are gobsmacked with how much control over our life we give to others. We also get to have a chance to change it. Because you can't change what you are not aware of.

Want to be so amazing with your time that others ask - how the heck does she do it? Come work with me and see your life become lighter and more purposeful! Link to a free coaching session in my bio.