James A. Haas

“Father (Bill) Finn was a Catholic priest of the Society of the Precious Blood. I later learned that he spearheaded an outreach program on behalf of the school to bring disadvantaged kids from the area to Cardinal Newman(late 70’s early 80’s). Many faculty and students referred to us as The Windsor Boys or Windsor Kids.”p. 113
Just Enough Light: A Memoir on the Transformative Power of Intentional Grace https://a.co/d/dz3xlA7

I never got the chance to tell him how much his grace meant to me and about the life that I was able to live because of his kindness and generosity.

“Just Enough Light: A Memoir on the Transformative Power of Intentional Grace” - Author’s talk at the Windsor Museum & Historical Society, December 2, 2023

December 3, 2023 Just Enough Light - Windsor Museum

I want to thank Steve Lehman and the Windsor Museum and Historical Society for allowing me to share in their Holiday Celebration yesterday! It was fantastic, and the warm reception I received by those in attendance was uplifting and inspiring. My family, friends, former students, and new friends that I made at the book signing and talk affirmed the premise of the book;
“The world is filled with common, ordinary, average, imperfect, beautiful, and wonderful people who are the living, breathing angels of intentional grace and love that live among us. Do you see them? I have.” p. 266 “Just Enough Light”
Thank you!
Check out my book,
Just Enough Light: A Memoir on the Transformative Power of Intentional Grace https://a.co/d/50z5QsU

Dear Friends and Community:
I’m very excited to announce that I have been invited to speak at the Windsor Museum and Historical Society’s Holiday Open House Celebration on Saturday, December 2nd. I’ll be signing books between 2:00 and 3:00 and will share insights and passages from my book, “Just Enough Light,” at 3:00. I would be honored to visit and share with you my odyssey of the last few years. Your support and kind words have meant more to me than I could ever convey and I hope to see you there!

https://www.justenoughlightmemoir.com

James A. Haas Husband, father, teacher, and writer

Latest entry on my website for “Just Enough Light”

Falling Through The Cracks and Hiding in The Dark Crevices -

The quiet suffering of children living with trauma often results in an attempt to hide and at least disguise or minimize their distress by distraction - like a magician who uses deception in order to direct the observer and their attention away from the very things they wish to hide - attempting to control what others can see in an earnest effort to protect themselves from the shame resulting from revealing their own pain.

“The last thing I wanted anyone to believe was that my mother was "bad". This ultimately led me to attempt to disguise our hardships whenever I went out into the world.”
Just Enough Light, p. 21

“A regular practice for many of my friends was to leave school at lunchtime under the guise of eating at home. Each of us went into our respective homes and theoretically ate our lunches. We never did this together, and I suspected it was for the same reason. We had little to eat or share, and it was face-saving to eat alone.”
Just Enough Light, p. 64

“I started hanging out at a feedstore nearby, and I marveled at the chickens and other animals sold there. I got the idea that I would raise chickens. My thinking did not extend beyond their juvenile stage. What I would do with them once they reached maturity never crossed my mind. I asked the man at the counter if he could give me some baby chicks. He graciously agreed, and I was given six chicks, a box with straw, and carefully written instructions on how to care for them. I was thrilled, but I was also cautious not to reveal to my friends in the neighborhood that I was caring for six baby chicks, as this didn’t exactly correlate with the persona of toughness and moxie that I was working to create.

I set up the box and a lamp for heat as the clerk at the feedstore had instructed me. I provided them with room temperature water and dipped their beaks into the dish so they could know what it was. I was also given some chicken feed and introduced it to them per the instructions. I tended to them early in the morning and stayed with them until I left for school. I raced home at lunchtime to check in on them. I ensured that there was plenty of food and water and diligently cleaned their box. I checked often to see that the lamp I was using was keeping them warm enough. It broke my heart every time I had to leave to return to school after lunchtime, but I looked forward to seeing them later that afternoon so I could care for them. Of course, none of my friends knew anything about their existence. In fact, I don’t recall whether my mother even knew that I had six baby chicks living in my bedroom, but it didn’t matter to me. The emotional, gentle, and vulnerable side that I carefully hid from other kids and my teachers flowed out like a dam bursting when I was around the chicks. They lit up with life each time they could sense my presence, and this lifted my spirits unlike anything had in my entire life. I named each of them like they were my children, whom I was going to protect and ensure that they were well cared for and loved. For about a week, I felt like a proud and successful father.

One morning before leaving for school, I saw that two of the chicks looked weak, and their feathers appeared to be matted down, almost as though they had been doused with water.”

Go to website justenoughlightmemoir.com “Book Insights” to finish reading.

Against the backdrop of Sonoma County in the 1970's local author and retired teacher, James Haas, affirms the transformative power of human connection.

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐞-𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞! 𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙀𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙇𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 is much more than a story chronicling the impact of divorce on a child raised by a parent suffering from mental illness, incapable of providing the necessary material and emotional support for her children. It is a tribute to the triumphant power of belief and the will to emerge from the despair of drug addiction, violence, anxiety, and depression; and ultimately persevere. Gut-wrenching at times, it is just as often touching and reaffirming of the human spirit and the truth that change and redemption are always possible. Perhaps the most important message of this story is how it affirms the transformative power of human connection through intentional acts of grace.

𝐓𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐞, 𝐠𝐨 𝐭𝐨
https://www.justenoughlightmemoir.com

James A. Haas Husband, father, teacher, and writer

Latest entry on my website for “Just Enough Light”
I wrote this as part of my mother’s eulogy in 2015. And while it was written primarily about and for her, it speaks to the struggle, despair, and triumph of anyone who has suffered from anxiety and depression.

Estella’s Song
Falling, falling, faster and faster.
With the fear ever increasing the faster I fall.
Tumbling and turning, bouncing off of the rocky walls of the black cave that is swallowing me whole.
Terrified.
Guilt-ridden.
What did I do to deserve this?
Surely there is something that I am being punished for to explain this miserable circumstance and fate?
How far might I fall?
Please let it resolve to be better… or worse.
If I am intended to crash and die at the bottom of this dark hole, then so be it.
Falling is more terrifying than death.
Will someone or something help me? Please?
I feel as though I cannot help myself, for if I could I would end this misery.
“Help me” I scream, like a child in the night for their mother. But no one comes.
But wait.
Who is this scared little child who fears that she is dying but does not die?
Go to website (justenoughlightmemoir.com) “Book Insights” to finish reading.

One of the most rewarding and emotional aspects of publishing this book is the feedback that I have received from readers, many whom I never knew before writing the book. While out to dinner this evening, I ran into a server at a restaurant in Graeagle who had just finished reading “Just Enough Light.” She approached Beth and me as we sat down at our table. Tears were in her eyes while she told me how much the book meant to her, particularly in light of her son who died by su***de two years earlier. Needless to say I was moved to tears by her praise of the book but also by her expressed sadness that he never had the kind of grace that I wrote about in the book. She told me that she would be purchasing multiple copies and that it was her mission to share the book with as many people as she could because she believed that it might encourage others to reach out to those, young and old, who struggle with their own internal pain and strife. I am humbled beyond words, and if hers are the last books ever sold, I will be perfectly content.

Latest entry on my website for “Just Enough Light”

Old Haunts (most recent entry)

“In May of 2023, Beth and I were staying at the UCLA Guest House to attend our son Jacob’s graduation from law school. Westwood, and all of its glitz and wealth, is roughly 30 miles from where I stayed with my mother and sister on Lakewood Boulevard more than forty years ago, but it might as well be a million miles away. The day before his graduation Jacob insisted that we drive to “the old neighborhood” which is the phrase the rest of my family and I use when describing the area where I was living with my mother and sister. And while there were multiple occasions during my adult life that I traveled to Southern California, I never once desired to visit “the old neighborhood.” But on this day, Jacob was insistent that I did, so we set off on the 32-mile journey that would take us almost two hours, given the congested traffic at the time we were driving. Our first stop was the parking lot of the RV dealership my mother managed on Lakewood Blvd.

“ My mother, sister, and now I were living on the lot of the Airstream dealership that she had moved south to manage.”
Go to website (justenoughlightmemoir.com) to finish reading.

On my website I provide book insights on various issues and topics from, “Just Enough Light.” An excerpt from my most recent entry:

“Gifts You Never Would Have Chosen”

Having the courage to speak about the truth takes away the power of the lie. Frequently the “lie” is the result of how others frame an experience for you, trapping you into feelings of guilt and shame, which often imprisons one into a compliant silence, trapped by a false narrative that often leaves its victim to serve a life sentence built on a “lie.” The lie can also be the incomplete way you view your own uncomfortable experiences. “
Go to website (justenoughlightmemoir.com) to finish reading.

When Father Finn, the principal of Cardinal Newman High School, gave me the gift of yet another chance, he essentially helped to save my life, and I can’t begin to express the love and gratitude that I feel for him, and what he did for me. 

𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐧 𝐞-𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝐩𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐍𝐨𝐛𝐥𝐞!

𝙅𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙀𝙣𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙇𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩 is much more than a story chronicling the impact of divorce on a child raised by a parent suffering from mental illness, incapable of providing the necessary material and emotional support for her children. It is a tribute to the triumphant power of belief and the will to emerge from the despair of drug addiction, violence, anxiety, and depression; and ultimately persevere. Gut-wrenching at times, it is just as often touching and reaffirming of the human spirit and the truth that change and redemption are always possible. Perhaps the most important message of this story is how it affirms the transformative power of human connection through intentional acts of grace.

Just Enough Light JUST ENOUGH LIGHT A Memoir on the Transformative Power of Intentional Grace by James A. Haas

My beautiful son, Kyle, created a webpage for my book at justenoughlightmemoir.com. I have added additional elements highlighting my family and life as a celebration of the gifts that I have been blessed with. The page is a work in progress. I have added a comment section at the bottom of the home page, and I will be adding additional pages with insights and photographs relating to the memoir as well.

I love to salvage discarded lumber (broken pieces of random sized wood, burned fence boards from the fires in our area, pallets with “free” signs placed on them.)
To see value in their broken and “throwaway state” is a gift available to all of us. Here are some of the art pieces that I have been privileged to create from the “garbage” that has been abandoned and left to rot -
an honor and never a burden!

I picked up my first copy of “Just Enough Light, A Memoir on the Transformative Power of Intentional Grace” from my P.O. Box in Graeagle, California. Somehow holding and seeing it in its final form has touched me more deeply than at any other time during the writing of the book. I can feel the humanity of every person associated with the story and am grateful for ALL of our shared experiences regardless of whether they were favorable or unfavorable. Painful or uplifting and affirming, these experiences have given me the gifts that I treasure in my life today.

Abigail Marie Eckhart:

Finished this book(Just Enough Light)last night after midnight. I cried a lot. I was shocked and my heart hurt for the child in this book who grew up to be an amazing teacher and man. My heart also hurt for this mother. And I could say a lot but it made me revisit some of the ways of mothering, it also reinforced that I need to continue maintaining my own mental health. I don’t think I’ll ever look at Mother’s Cookies the same way without thinking of my teacher Jim Haas. So many hurtful things were soothed over in that History class. I don’t think I could ever truly say thank you because I would probably mess it up. Mr Haas was the only reason I could get myself together enough to graduate and finish high school. Thank you for this gift of your life. We can repay you by being the kind of people who are intentionally graceful to others like you were to us.

Available now on Amazon! Coming soon to other online platforms!

Just Enough Light: A Memoir on the Transformative Power of Intentional Grace No child grows up too quickly. Children who regularly experience trauma are exposed to more than they are capable of processing. As a result, they often present a facade which falsely conveys that they are more secure and mature than they really are. The consequences of such assumptions are poten...