Khaniu#official

While in campus, I dated a lady that had rented a one-bedroom house in an uptown area while I was suffocating my uncle in his single room in Bahati. I had met the lady on a campus church trip. We sat together in the vehicle and how we ended up dating is a mystery that I am yet to reveal, which is even more puzzling given my position as the greatest sorcerer from Gusiiland alive.

Instead of inviting the lady for lunch, she used to invite me because she knew my wallet consistently suffered from acute money erosion. On lunch dates, I used to eat timidly because I knew I wasn't going to pay for the food. Even when I had some money to sort out the bill, she could flatly deny me the chance to appease my ego and masculinity even once.

One day, she invited me to her place. She did so because I had told her I stayed with an uncle and she said she would never come to my uncle's house as that would amount to disrespecting him and my ancestors. She didn't know how much of a burden she had lifted off my shoulders declining to come to my uncle's house.

I got to her house and I almost severed ties with life because of the shock I received. The lady's kitchen was 1.5 times the size of the single room where my uncle and I hid from cold and insects. It was even more disrespectful that her washroom and that single room were almost the same size. Her decision not to come to my uncle's house was even more significant because if she had come there, she could have left wondering why two grown men, one over 40 and another in his early 20s, were staying in a washroom.

The value of her leather sofa would have paid our rent in that single room for 10 months straight. The fridge would buy us food for a half a year. Then there was that 49 inch Sony Television that made the greatwall we had look like a mansion for a community of rich and affluent cockroaches. There were over a thousand cockroaches that lived in that TV. The poverty those cockroaches saw in that house must have made them pity us so much that they couldn't even touch the tomatoes we left in the open. They must have held a meeting and resolved never to steal from the poor.

My dear beloved Alicia asked me to sit and feel at home. How disrespectful a statement to make! How could I feel at home? She would have made perfect sense if she had said "feel at heaven" because to me, that house was a small part of heaven that Angel Gabriel's fundis had dropped by mistake while building mansions for us.

The lady checked for a drink suitable for me and missed out because her fridge looked like a sub-branch of Keroche industries with humongous bottles of whiskey and other liver-threatening concoctions. Me, son of Monica, would never even look at a bottle of alcohol without feeling sinful. I had grown up knowing that alcohol was the ticket I needed to the hottest parts of hell. Looking at the amount of alcohol in that fridge made me feel nauseated. Me that feared ordinary fire couldn't even dream of courting hell fire no matter how soft its bosom could be. Had it not been for the scarcity of airtime in my phone, I would have called my mother to summon the women's guild to pray for me for I had sinned seeing those bottles in the fridge.

My dear woman convinced me that wine wasn't alcoholic and so she left to buy a bottle. I consoled myself knowing that even Jesus turned water into wine. When she returned, she put the bag on the table and went to the bedroom. My curiosity led me to peer into the bag and I saw the price of the bottle. I almost jumped out of my skin. The bottle was worth Kshs. 3500. With such an amount, I would have comfortably taken lunch at Wanjeri's Kibanda at Landmawe for 106.7 days, an equivalent of a whole semester. I wondered why that woman was busy squandering money with reckless abandon.

She served me in a giant glass big enough to hide my big head. I sipped the wine slowly, confident that it was alcohol-free. After all, Alicia couldn't lie to me, could she? Who lies to their heartbeat anyway? So I drunk from the glass of wine as she drunk from her glass of whiskey. She was sitted beside me, urging me on with the alluring movement of her eyeballs and the warmth her presence brought. Somewhere along the way, I felt a nagging urge to visit the washroom. I came back after 3 minutes, 21 seconds, and 33 microseconds.

The meniscus in the glass looked higher than I left it but I didn't care. I gulped the contents with a renewed vigor that must have come after leaving the washroom. Soon after, I saw a giant fly before my eyes. On its wings was the big bold word: PROSECUTION. I knew I had sinned looking into the fridge but I didn't know I would be prosecuted so soon. The fly was trying to poke my eyes. I calculated fast to feign a slap using my left hand then decimate it using a powerful right hand slap. I pegged my reaction time at 3 seconds. The next time the fly flapped its wing, I performed the left hand feign and unleashed a powerful right hand slap that sent the fly crashing on the ground and bursting its stomach open.

I watched with a triumphant grin as juices gushed out of its stomach. Suddenly, I felt a powerful earthquake shaking me vigorously. It was Alicia shaking my soul out. "Babe, what have you done?" She was trembling, her eyes red as hell fire. I stared at the remains of what a few seconds ago had been two giant bottles of wine and whiskey. They were lying there in small broken pieces as a result of the force from my slap. I looked at Alicia and I pitied her. I was so angry at myself that I could have slapped the life out of me. Down there, on that expensive carpet, lay a heterogeneous mixture of small pieces of glass, wine, and whiskey droplets, roughly Kshs. 7000 gone down the drain. My eyes wandered to a spot beside the fridge and there was an empty wine bottle that resembled the one that lay broken on the carpet. The name on it read "PROSECCO SPARKLING WINE." It is the first name, PROSECCO, that I had read as PROSECUTION and I ran bonkers. Only the 3 minutes, 21 seconds, and 33 microseconds I took in the washroom can explain the alcoholic effect that pushed my eyes to see a bottle as a giant fly.

It is that single act of stupidity, one moment of blind decision-making that is the reason I am not married today. Had it not been for those 3 watershed seconds, I could have been a happily married house husband to Alicia. I could have been following all the programs including Maria and Ringo like every happily married housewife, on a giant screen bought my wife, and in a house rented by her. Instead, I am a Nightrunner bearing the cold of the night every single day, from which not even that single room where we used to hide from cold can save me.

Alicia, wherever you are today, I am sorry for your broken bottles of whiskey and wine. I am sorry for spilling a whopping Kshs. 7000, an equivalent of a pregnant goat in Nyansira market close home. If you happen to see this post at the probability of 0.001, please know I am willing to be your house husband like it was destined to be. I can do the dishes, cut onions without crying, mop the house, and even cook saga perfectly.

This coronavirus is the strangest virus we have ever heard of.
It's very dangerous in the way it spreads. It is so mysterious the way it ONLY target schools, but then dies at quarantine centres which are within the same schools!!

It is sneaky. It can spread when buying clothes at a small shop but not at big Supermarkets.
It fears where a sausages and TWO beers are sold and can't spread when you are buying beer.

It lives for two days on delivery boxes from Uganda and you must wait 48hrs to touch them but dies immediately on the deliveries from china.

It can't survive on takeaway coffee cups, so enjoying a hot cup of coffee at some fancy cafes is safe.

Curiously without any research it has been said to live on church pews & hymn books but dies in political parties gatherings & parliament like in yesterday's Jubilee meeting at KICC.

Sadly it is claimed to be spread by hair stylists, Pastors & priests, and dentists, but not by bank tellers, cashiers, and fast food workers.

It's so smart. It won’t bother the first 15 people in funerals and weddings but knows when the 16th person shows up. So be careful if you are the 16th. It even knows what you want vs what you need. If you want to go to church it is very actively on the prowl and not even a mask can stop it but If you need to go to the supermarket, it is weak, and a mask will keep it away.

It also seems to be most dangerous after 9pm so businesses must start to close before the virus comes out and wreaks havoc upon the populations.

When it is found in State House or Kamukunji Police Station life continues. But if found in an apartment all MUST be quarantined! If found in Mombasa Old Town and Eastleigh, a LOCKDOWN is imposed. In Kibera despite the numbers, handshake must be respected!
WHAT an intelligent virus!!!

SO SAD😢😢😢
Most times when we walk into big malls,🏦 boutiques👝👡👗👖 and supermarkets🏭 we never question their prices.💰 We pay exactly what we see on the price tags and even hand out tips to the staff.😋 But the moment we are out of these shops🚶‍♀️🚶‍♂️ and want to buy a banana🍌 and or peanut🌰 from a street vendor, our bargaining power rises to the roof.😢

A poor woman😪 with hungry children👩‍👧‍👦 at home tells you banana is Ksh. 20.😳 She even takes her time to explain how difficult😨 it was for her to buy it from the market. But we insist that if it's not Ksh.10, we are not buying.😭

Some of us even step back into our cars and drive away.😢 But because "half a bread is better than none", the woman is forced to run🏃🏻‍♀️ after you and sell at no gain.🙊. In her heart she cries,😭 she's worried about how she'll survive with her children.👩‍👧‍👦 She silently reassures herself that "It's well" since she is not returning home with the banana.🍌 Her motivation is God will definitely provide some other day.😊

Meanwhile you drive off and happily,😁 chew the luscious banana.🧉😋 Take some seconds to think about this.
Am always moved to tears😭😭 when I see people who genuinely and helplessly hawk petty goods to feed and survive for that day, especially women and children.
Please🛐 don't bargain too hard with small vendors.🙊 They do business not to buy designer bags,💼 trendy phones,📱 watches,⌚ shoes👟👠 or designer clothes,👘 but to FEED the family and CARE for their children👩‍👧‍👦 in school.📚

This touched me😎 when I realised it... so lets CHANGE our ways.🙏🛐 It's another way of spending on humanity in the will of God. "He who gives to the poor lends to his Maker"

🙏🙏🙏🛐🛐🛐

A boy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you"? The girl Answered with a loud angry voice; "I don't want to spend the night with you!! All the people in the library started staring at the boy and he was embarrassed. After minutes the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and said to him I study psychology and I know what man is thinking, I guess you felt embarrassed,right? The guy responded with a loud voice :$300 for one night That's too much!! and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears, "I study law and I know how to make someone guilty.😂😝😂👌..

Khaniu#official updated their website address.

Khaniu#official updated their business hours.

A WEEK IS A LONG TIME… First week 2020; here 16 stories that made the news.

1. How do you scare away swarms of locusts? Whistle at it them? Shout at them? Line up a bunch of vehicles and honk at them? Get the kids out to hit metallic objects like pans and sufurias so the sounds can scare them? If all those still don’t work, call the police to shoot at them with rubber bullets and teargas the little insects. Still not working? Get on your knee and recite a few verses of the Koran or your bible as you wait for government choppers to come spray them with insecticides. All these happened in Mandera and Waijir counties when locusts invaded the regions first on Monday (from Somalia) and then on Wednesday (from Ethiopia).

2. Denis Okari, Betty Kyalo, Ken Mijungu, some sick child and The Somali guy. Choose who you are standing with. Deadbeat fathers, angry sisters, friends who are also mouth pieces, money, bu****it attention seeking socialite public validation antics, weddings, affairs, divorce, moving on… makasiriko…. The amount of nonsense on these streets is unhealthy for the first week of 2020. Also, talking about nonsense, Akothee took a video of herself walking to a plane with her children behind her and then she turned around and said; ‘me and my uterus boarding a plane’… or something like that.

3. Picture this… it is January 3rd, at night, you are travelling to Kitale from Nairobi in a bus… It is all 50 of you; 7 people who came to visit their uncles for Christmas, 9 who came to buy stock for their mtumba businesses, some 3 ladies from Nakuru who came for a crusade in Kawangware, 5 women who came to see their husbands and are going back home with all the 3 kids they came with plus one they don’t know they have yet, a mechanic from Nakuru is also in there, came to source for some lorry spare part that is in the boot, there is a Kisii guy who can’t stop saying bwakire… eguseguse… on the phone every six minutes, that is when he is not eating maize… and then there is you, pretending to be cool, listening to music on your headphones…. Then somewhere near Gilgil, the bus bursts into flames at 2:00 am in the morning; wants to roast your ass. Anyway, they survived, all of them. The cause of the fire remains unknown.

4. A bunch of Kenyans crossed into Uganda and went for the Ugandan Army recruitment. 40 Kenyans were blocked from joining the Ugandan army on the recruitment day.

5. In the last two weeks, 40 donkeys in Tigania, Meru County have died after being bitten by some kind of fly. They have also started wearing trousers. Stable fly, also scientifically known as Stomoxys calcitrans (scientific names are highest form of bu****it) bite the animals, suck their blood and leave gaping wounds. To prevent further loss, veterinary officers told the farmers to make their donkeys wear trousers (No, donkeys can’t do it on their own…)… they dressed the donkeys in trousers. Also, the veterinary officers sprayed synthetic pyrethrum on the animals to repel the flies for at least 21 days. That treatment sounds more bu****it than the scientific name of the calcitrans whatever.

6. A report from the Office of the Controller of Budget revealed that for every Sh 100 spent by the government between July and September 2019, only Sh 10 went into development expenditure. It total, during that period, the government spent Sh 571 billion with only Sh 48 billion going into development. What did they do with it? Well, debt repayment, salaries for civil servants etc etc.

7. Peter Mwangi (you don’t know him) went to Isiolo and convinced over 210 people to give him Sh 2,300 each so that he could take them to go and meet DP William Ruto to discuss BBI. Hehehe. Really?! They were supposed to travel on Monday… The money was to be used for T-shirts with Ruto’s face on them and bus hire. They waited for 6 hours on Monday before realising that Peter Mwangi had taken then for a ride, except they would not get on any bus. And talking about cons in Ruto’s name… a bunch of businessmen and professionals have also come out to say that certain people around the DP in Nairobi are collecting tithes before one can be ‘connected’ to the high priest. The henchmen are the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the high priest except through them.

8. Small and mid-sized businesses should prepare to remit 3% tax on their sales to KRA starting this month. (Turnover tax for businesses with annual sales of below Sh 5 million). In the course of the week, it also emerged that KRA had insisted on taxing a cargo of ARVs at the port forcing the donors to reroute the drugs to West Africa. KRA says this story I fake… (I don’t know which part- that the drugs went to West Africa or that they tried to tax a donation.)

9. Kakamega governor Wycliffe Oparanya this week decided to lead a clean-up operation in Kakamega town because he ‘no longer trusts’ his staff. Oparanya said that those who work for him are part of cartels engaged in business instead of serving the people. He said that he just realised that the county government has not built even one single toilet in Kakamega town despite coming to power 7 years ago. He also said that from now on, he needs financial reports every month (apparently the small fish in his administration have been collecting revenue and diverting it to their pockets) and that he will do everything on his own. Good luck with the last one…

10. Tangatanga MP Alice Wahome (of Kandara) claims BBI is a plot to make Uhuru Kenyatta the Prime Minister and ODM leader Raila Odinga the president of Kenya. On January 2nd, she called a press conference where she referred to Raila as Uhuru Kenyatta’s new political mercenary for hire.

11. The Met Department has warned that you should expect more rain this January. So don’t keep your umbrellas and boots yet… But in a typical contradictory Met Department style, on Friday, a few days after the first announcement, they said that you should brace for harsh, sunny weather hehe, with temperatures of about 35 degrees in places like Marsabit. We suggests that you hang in there, and wait, with a vest or a coat.

12. Cambridge Analytica, you know, the firm that helped Jubilee get to power in 2017, reached out to Nasa before going to Jubilee Party and asked to manage Raila Odinga’s campaign. They met most of Nasa top leaders who turned them down but assured them that the services of Cambridge Analytica would be needed after 2017, once they got into power…. Look at God hehehehe over confidence though hehehe. So Cambridge guys went to Jubilee Party instead, they got hired and they made Nasa pay for not hiring them.

13. Flying Squad is gone. Disbanded this week. To be replaced by Sting Squad.

14. With Sh 2,020, you can be among the people who will travel by Jambojet. The airline company, in a New Year offer (notice the play with 2020?), will give 10,000 seats from January 6th to March at the cost of Sh 2,020. But, to get those seats, you should have booked between January 2nd and January 4th. Corporates are full of hot-air. An offer that runs for two months, but to get it you have to book in 2 days?

15. Bei ya unga ya ugali imepanda… Don’t ask me… this information might be useful to some people. Also now that there are no more Nasa protests, this is one of the few places where we can talk about inflation rising by 5.82% in December and ugali prices going up as a result.

16. You see that photo of the lady in blue on the track… I don’t know her but she is supposed to be some kind of celebrity. And she broke up with her boyfriend in 2019. Use that information as you wish. Moses Kuria quit alcohol… everyone is a comedian these days. Some guys in Kibra cornered Stivo Simple Boy and decided to wash him… Size 8 went to swim with the husband DJ Mo… they took a photo and somehow, the verdict, is that without makeup, she looks like Charity Ngilu. Not my words.

A WEEK IS A LONG TIME … here are 19 stories that made the news this week.

Let us start with water… get done with all the watery stories, shall we?
1. At 4: 20 am this morning, John Mutinda (46 years old) decided to take his car for a swim into the Indian Ocean from the ferry ramp. Kenya Ferry Services say the car was driven from the ramp into the water at a high speed and that even after being flagged to stop, the driver just kept on going. Cars don’t swim though, and John, plus an unknown number of passengers in the saloon car sunk.

2. Nairobi Governor Mike Sonko cried yesterday. Tears. A weather pattern called the Indian Ocean Dipole (Indian El Nino) is responsible for the mess of flood, the never ending rain, flash floods and landslides. Mike Sonko was arrested at Voi after being waylaid by police officers. The Indian Ocean Dipole is an irregular oscillation in which the surface temperature of the sea is alternatively greater in the ocean’s west and its east… HEHEHEHE look at how your head it struggling to follow HEHE. Sonko, who was in the SGR train, got off the train and tried to flee via road but they caught up with him at a road block. Seriously though, the rain is too much. So far over 250 people have died in floods or landslides within East Africa with Kenya bearing the heaviest burden at over 120 deaths. Motorists in the country (because of traffic jam) spend 7 hours on road stretches that often 2 hours. They roughed up Sonko, tore his Gucci T-shirt and made him make sounds you’d never have guessed the most dangerous man in Kenya can make. Then they handcuffed him twice (two cuffs on his wrists), and put his protesting body into a police chopper and flew him to Nairobi. By the way, what is wrong with these drivers who insist on crossing rivers or bridges only for the busses (with people, sometimes as many as 46 people inside) to be swept away by the flood waters…? Even Probox drivers… huyu sasa anataka nini? When he got to Nairobi, Sonko’s office put out a statement saying he has nothing to hide, he was not running away and that the court will reveal the truth. The office of the DPP insists that Sonko was on his way to Tanzania, where he planned to lie low for two weeks before coming back when things have cooled down. The floods have not just affected rural areas and town roads only; those who built their houses on riparian lands are in trouble too. Their homes are flooded and Maina Kageni, plus the real estate companies that sold them the lands are not picking their calls. Sonko will spend the next few nights in police custody. At this moment, Nairobi County, with the governor behind bars and no deputy governor is a leaderless county.

3. Former Kiambu governor threatened to set up a parallel Governor’s office and offer services to the people. He was to do it on Friday. Then DPP Haji coughed. Hajji told him that he (Waititu) is not as funny as he thinks… that jokes like that will make him (Hajji) force Waititu to swim back to Punjab University in India where he studied. It is safe to say that Waititu opened an office in his sitting room, serving his family. Now… I am done with water and water stories.

4. There is a police car that was stolen from Shauri moyo police station in Nairobi. They found it, days later… colour changed and number-plate gone at the home of an Administration Police officer in Mwingi.

5. Two police officers were arrested on Thursday for conning KDF recruits. The two were found with fake recruitment letters.

6. Julius Kiprono was arrested for stealing electric copper cables from Kenya Fluospar Company. No you don’t know him, and frankly, he doesn’t matter… but what he did, well that matters. Sit one minute… Kiprono was being held at Kaptaga police station when it begun to rain and the officer in charge of the station at the time decided to rush back to his house. He (Kiprono) escaped from his cell, through the window, went to the main office, took a pair of handcuffs, a padlock, chains and the Occurrence Book (OB) and left. Hehehehe. You call yourself bad yet you can’t even open a bottle of beer with your teeth. Officers in Elgeyo Marakwet have launched a manhunt for him.

7. Nazlim Umar… the former presidential candidate and only lady to publicly declare her love for Aden Duale thinks ladies who have stretch marks should do something about them. Umar, in an interview with the Standard newspaper told ladies that after giving birth it is their duty to fix their stretch marks because God didn’t make ‘you’ like that. As if the Duale thing wasn’t proof enough that she is stupid…

8. It has not been a good week for Speaker Justin Muturi. Moses Kuria said Muturi was bribed with a tilapia meal by John Mbadi in Migori so that he can rule out a parliamentary route for BBI. Soon after this, lawyer Ahmed Nassir (Grand Mullah) –responding to Muturi on BBI- called him a drunkard who would died a poor man in Siakago were it not for the kindness of Uhuru Kenyatta. The lawyer claimed that Muturi had no cent in his account when Jubilee was elected in 2013 yet he is now a billionaire.

9. A flat collapsed in Tassia-Nairobi. Several people are still trapped in it.

10. At least 80 illegal and badly run chemists and pharmacies in Nairobi County and Kajiado were shut down this week. 46 people were arrested in the process. The shops are said to have been selling controlled drugs and drugs used in drugging crimes.

11. 97 Rift Valley MPs allied to Deputy President William Ruto met for two days at Naivasha and decided to throw their weight behind the BBI report. There is no way this is a good thing for DP William Ruto.

12. A donkey bit some man in Murang’a. Kamau from Gatanga had his hand nearly chewed off by the donkey. The public rescued him.

13. Safaricom has plans to help you save. The company is testing a product –Mali- that will cap savings at Sh 70,000, earning 10% interest annually.

14. About 8 or 11 people were killed after suspected Al-Shabaab militants attacked Mandera-bound bus at Wargadud in Wajir.

15. Education CS George Magoha this week announced that head teachers will now have the power to increase school fees.

16. Some teacher in Kirinyaga burnt her house trying to kill a snake. She saw a snake get into the house, so she lit a piece of cloth on fire and threw it into the house to smoke the snake out. Then she went out to wait for the snake to slither out… however, instead of the snake… smoke, and more smoke and fire… She realised that the fire had spread to other parts of the house. Lost over Sh 1,000, 000 worth of household items.

17. American Rapper T.I (with Amina in the photo) to perform at Jameson connect, Uhuru Gardens today.

18. President Uhuru Kenyatta was an angry man this week when addressing a gathering in Central Kenya… He was pi**ed. Finger waiving-we will deal with you when the time comes kind of angry. He blasted Tanga tanga MPs over BBI.

19. Akothee recently collapsed while on stage. She decided to clear the air… saying those are early signs of menopause. Standard Group’s Julian Kamau was this week named among Kenya’s top women in the digital space. Some Ugandan man sent a message to Dr. Owuor saying he has been sent by God to relieve the prophet of his duties… time for Owuor to retire and let him finish the job. There is a campaign that has been launched to save mukobero (the one) from going extinct… I guess if it did, several relationships would end too…? TV presenter Yvonne Okwara used to work as a waitress… earning Sh 150 a day; she revealed this week. Betty Bayo… she of Pastor Kanyari (panda mbegu guy) this week warned women against walking into marriage blindly. Huddah- the socialite- wants to have 5 kids… but she doesn’t want to carry any of them… she will go the surrogate mother way.
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The Catholic Church has no moral authority to call abortion evil

Embu Diocese Bishop, Paul Kariuki, said on Saturday that the Church is totally opposed to the procurement of abortions. He termed it an evil that should be fought at whichever cost.

Speaking during a graduation ceremony at Fidenza Nursing School in Kyeni, he reminded medics that life is given by God so it should not be taken away.

In 2017 a mass grave containing the remains of babies and children was discovered at a former Catholic church care home in Ireland (see photo) where it has been alleged up to 800 died.

According to the Guardian newspaper; 'Excavations at the site of the former Bon Secours Mother and Baby Home in Tuam, County Galway, have uncovered an underground structure divided into 20 chambers containing “significant quantities of human remains.'

This home was run by Catholic nuns for single women, their children and orphans. Several such facilities existed in the 1950s. These fu***rs let thousands of people die, probably out of neglect.

These people... corruption is killing thousands of Kenyans daily but it is not a bad thing to them... police brutality is here and a reality to most youth, but this too is not a bad thing... what did the Catholic church say about JKUAT case...? Nothing. But abortion is evil... should be fought at all costs...

Stanley Mathenge was born in Mahiga Location, Nyeri District. He was about six-feet-three-inches tall and slender, but very strong. When addressing a meeting, he had a very strong and loud voice. He was a brave man and extremely fierce in battle. He liked to lead his troops in battle with his 303 rifle. He could handle his 303 as well as anyone else could handle a sten-gun. He had learned to shoot while in the army. I came to know Mathenge in 1947, during the time of Forty Group, shortly after he had left the army.
During the Emergency, Mathenge was arrested twice by the government. The first time was at Thika in January 1953 when he was on his way from Nairobi. He had met with the Central Committee and was on his way back to the Aberdares with 480 new recruits. Mathenge's contact at Thika, Wachira Thumbe of Gikondi Location, was able to bribe the police. The police did not realize that the man they had arrested was Stanley Mathenge. The bribe they accepted was very small compared with the Shs. 6,000 reward offered for information leading to the arrest of Mathenge. Mathenge returned safely to the Aberdares and recounted his adventure to me at Kariaini headquarters.
Mathenge's name was well-known by the police in association with the oaths but few people could recognize him. Unlike Kimathi, he did not take an alias while in the forest.
After two months, Mathenge again left the Aberdares, this time for Nanyuki. When he reached there, he was arrested by the police. Once again the police were bribed and Mathenge regained the safety of the Aberdares. After these narrow escapes, Mathenge did not leave the Aberdares again except for raids in the Reserves and visits to itungati in the settled areas.
Mathenge was an excellent speaker and all the itungati wanted to hear him. He could explain very well the best way to get food and weapons. He also told the itungati that he was not any different from them, even though he was a leader. He said he could be shot as easily by the enemies as the rest of the itungati and that every man was fighting for the same reason. Each knew he might have to sacrifice his own life. He said there was no difference between his life and their own so he would take the risks as they did. He was also very fair and kind to his itungati and as a result he was liked and respected more than any other leader.
Mathenge was given the nickname Kirīma Thahu. It meant a man who need not fear being spoiled by any evil deed while he was away from home. Many people, knowing of his importance in the Mau Mau revolt, have asked about Mathenge's rank. They have asked why he was not given a rank, as was Kimathi, 'China', Kaniu, Kahinga and others. At a meeting held in the Aberdares at Gikae on June 12, 1953, a precedent was set. The following leaders were promoted to generals: Kago Mboko, Matenjagwo, Muraya Mbuthia, Kahiu-Itina, Kibira Gatu and Ndungu Gicheru. Dedan Kimathi was appointed the Field Marshall and Mbaria Kaniu Assistant Field Marshall.
Stanley Mathenge refused to accept a rank. He told the crowd of 16,000 Freedom Fighters that he did not want to be given a rank because none of us knew the work that he had done before. He said that Kimathi and Mbaria have given many itungati ranks, but that he would wait until the achievement of uhuru to receive his rank..

The Swords of Kirinyaga