Cody Bro POEtry

The thing about finding yourself again, is the tragedies that come after it. You lost yourself so much that everything around that seemed so perfect never actually was. You'll lose everyone and everything that you ever thought was real. You were so used to submitting, putting up with all of the bu****it, to make them feel better and paint you as the bad guy. When in reality they don't even know who they are anymore, because you never was a bad guy and they knew that.

It scares them because they no longer bend to your will. Scares that eventually they will lose you. Truth of the reality is that they will, they will beg and plea and make you out to be the problem and you know your not. I know that it hurts you keep holding on for as long as you can hoping that they can change too. I understand change is scary. Becasue I once was that person.

Change means you have to admit that you fu**ed up, it means that you admit you hurt people, it means that you were so caught up in the lies and bu****it that it became your reality. When someone tells you that your reality is wrong, I understand it's discomforting, disgusting, and disturbing becasue how dare you tell me that my reality is wrong. How dare you drag me down into the dirt. How dare you make me sit with my feelings.

How dare you tell me that I'm wrong. HOW DARE YOU...HOW DARE YOU... HOW FU***NG DARE YOU TELL ME... that you dont love me need me want me no more. Because I once was this person.

Then one day I became not so scared. I Couldn't tell you a specific date. Maybe it was everyone around me telling me I'm a f**k up. Maybe it was everyone around me threatening to leave me. Maybe it was wishing I were dead every single day of my life. Maybe it was because everytime I talked to someone i could see and hear the disappointment, the annoyance, the disgust that they had towards me.

I will forever be grateful for the people who seen the good in me, who could see the potential, who could see what I thought I could never. If no one ever actually sat me down and had all of the hard conversations with me. The kind of conversations that potentially could ruin a friendship, relationship, any bond at that, with a person that says they love and care for you so deeply it would hurt them worse then it ever would you.

I'm her to tell you to just believe them please believe that you are the problem, believe that what you are doing isn't right. I promise it gets better. I promise you are worthy of love, you are worthy of life, you are worthy of everything you have ever wanted and dreamed of in life. Becasue one day they just might not be there to stick around to see you blossom, and I promise they really do, the really do love you, they really do care, they really do want you to be and get everything you have ever wanted out of life.

Then again you have to be and want to change, you need to be and want the change. Because I can promise you if you don't, I can almost guarantee you they won't be there for long. They definitely won't be there the second or third time around, and once you do it will most already likely be to late.

So I'll end with people do need to have these hard and tough conversations with the people around them. Becasue if you don't you'll either continue the cycle or you will break it. Continuing it will only drag you down. But breaking it, I promise breaking it will forever be the most freeing and insightful journey to the start of it all. Just don't ever look back, and if you have to make sure there's always someone there to pull you back out.

Sidenote if you actually read this and made it this far I absolutely love each and every f**king one of you, maybe one day I'll actually get around to writing a book. Sincerely Codylevipoe.

I saw here walking by as I stood there to tie my shoes, I quickly ran to catch up. Forgetting my phone I quickly run back to grab it, but why? I soon catch up to my love. We chat a few minutes and she invites back to her house. There are plants as I walk in everywhere, they look into my soul as if they are judging me. We finally kiss each other, oh how I've waited for this for what seemed a lifetime. Finding myself wondering around, a big grizzly comes out of nowhere standing 9 ft tall looking down on my. Her two front feet landing on the ground in front of me and gives me a little kick of what seemed like gratitude. Soon everything fades to black and my body awakes.

Dreams I shouldn't be having..

I saw here walking by as I stood there to tie my shoes, I quickly ran to catch up. Forgetting my phone I quickly run back to grab it, but why? I soon catch up to my love. We chat a few minutes and she invites back to her house. There are plants as I walk in everywhere, they look into my soul as if they are judging me. We finally kiss each other, oh how I've waited for this for what seemed a lifetime. Finding myself wondering around, a big grizzly comes out of nowhere standing 9 ft tall looking down on my. Her two front feet landing on the ground in front of me and gives me a little kick of what seemed like gratitude. Soon everything fades to black and my body awakes.

It's becoming harder to remember all of the good memories, when I know you want me to just disappear. All of this hatred is turning us into strangers. I'm trying my hardest to not disappoint you, because I know it will all be better soon.

We love to hate each other. We hate to love each other. Wanting the love we feel from others. In a broken house that used to feel like home we don't know how to be alone. Shattered hearts that has left us scared why do we do this to each other. Trying to stay a float I never did learn how to swim. You always tried to show me, I've always kept drowning myself. Waiting for you to save me.

A fan made me this shirt and I'm in love with it.

Dear absent father,

I hope I'm not like you when I grow up. You abandoned me when I was three. See you was an absent father, missing out on most of my childhood. It feels like I've missed out on the majority of mine also. Materialistic things never mattered to me. I've raised two of my kin before I had kids. You'd think I'd be better at being a father. I've been working fourty plus hours, the first ten years of the beginning of my teen life, Honestly I haven't spent a dime but the nessacities on my three beautiful daughters. But rather Smothering them with the emotional support, along with any ,
other children who have never had a father.

Some may see me unfit, and no I won't throw a fit. I won't let my kids suffer like I did. They may not have the latest gadgets, clothes or toys. But rhey will always have a roof over their heads. Along with the freedom, love, support and forgivness they need to decent human beings. Although there's never any right way to be a parent. I just hope they will always know the way back home. A place with out judgment, with openness where they always can feel safe even if they grow up and get in trouble and are afraid.

I'm sorry me and my other three brothers, and the one sister we will never know about weren't good enough for you to stay in our life's. I understand you was to busy finding out who you where as a person. Always chasing the next girl to get pregnant and eventually abandon. Searching for your next road to travel on. Then somehow getting lost on your next adventure, forgetting how to return home after you went to go get your smokes.

I do forgive you becasue I know now its a hard job to support a family, when all you want to do is live. I'm happy that you got to take the easy way out with minimum consequences. But life is ment to be rough, challenging and hard sometimes. So when that is all said, and done I promise I wont forget to live.
Still I will always love you.
A letter from your son...............
That you will never get to know.

Metaphors and polymorphism.
Out of all the flowers, be a sunflower. They can be so many things. Food for your thoughts when you can no longer dream. Medicine to help you heal from all of the damage that has been done. Absorb what's left behind from people who have left toxic soil in your garden soul. At last look to each other when all else is lost.

They say the grass isn't always greener on the other side. But those eyes on the other side sure are the brightest of greens I've ever seen. If I water it just enough maybe I can watch it grow.

Where’d you go, why’d you leave?
oh how I wish you’d come back to me..
the nights are so lonely and my heart is so torn.
I wish you’d be my best friend just like you were before.
I don’t know where to go from here,
I’ll do anything just to keep you near.
Someday the high will fade and I pray you’ll see I was always there just waiting for you to see who you always could have been. Who we could have been together instead were both hollow shells of the people we used to be..

She was a breath of fresh air.
The sun radiating from the hairs on her head. She never seemed to want to get out of bed. A fake smile, held up proud every day by her shoulders. You can only carry so much weight. Soon like all things mother earth will fade. We will dissipate into the dark mist, sinking deeper into the dark abyss.

If I died today, would you forgive me then. For all of the sins I've spun in my web. Like thousands of baby spiders, looking for a way out. I caught you like a fly, trapped why is this happening to me. If I let you free before I died today would you stay with me. Could you forgive me then, or would you watch me bleed.

Baby girl, your a masterpiece.
Why can you not see, don't you beleive?
A canvas, waiting to be seen.
But not everyone can admire,
Such a beautiful peice of art that you are.
The deep blue see mesmerized by
all of the water colors shining so bright in the background.
Baby girl, your his masterpiece.
When his eyes meet,
a blank canvas he does not see.
All the colors in the world you are to him, brilliantly flowing together to form the magnificent canvas that you truely are.
Baby girl, will you be his masterpiece?
So that he may never lose sight.
The glimmering light bouncing off of the sun in the foreground. Again when the eyes see such beautiful thing, it's something a man could admire for a life time.

This is the end my dear.
As I watch through the rearview mirror of this mirrage.
It's all in the past now.
But the past is what got both of us here "she said"
A Tear dropped from her eye, more to follow that could fill ocean's. I awoke. Turning to my left, seeing those big beautiful brown eyes. Thinking what a relief. On my right, a gorgeous sunset with the beautiful blue ocean in the distance. As she drove us off of the bridge. I think I'll sleep now forever thinking about the past.
Passages from a book I'll never write.

If I had no legs and one arm, I'd still be going in circles, sitting in this wheelchair. With the circus clowns lurking in the back, peeking around the street corner. Watching and waiting.
Wondering why I haven't asked for help. I could ask the clowns the same thing, as they sit and observe. The difference you ask. I'm actually trying to go places, maybe some where far. While the sad little circus clowns have no desire to thrive to live. To survive.

I'm not your boyfriend baby. I'm just here for emotional support. Just another heartbreak waiting to happen. But could you stay for awhile so you can show me how to love, and what it's like to be loved. I know caring for the world is hard and wanting it to care for you is even harder. But people fade and die every now and then. Just like the trees need a break every three months out of a year. They always grow back to amaze me of such a beautiful thing it is to feel alive.

The window is asleep.
But she left the door open.
The pain I felt gasping for air.
I lay upon the floor crying,
Screaming for someone just care.

And when mother nature consumes us, we will all have the same purpose when we are dead.
To give back what we took from her. We never really ceased to exist, just to exist to be deceased. We colonized the world like our ancestors be for us. Except they, one with our earth flourishing off of one another. We will all have the same purpose when we are dead, and when mother nature consumes us all the cycle will begin again. I hope we just don't f**k it up again.