Coach Bren

Some people aren’t lonely, they’re content

Let's not let bad actors ruin good things!

Let others know about this new page--and let's jumpstart this movement to healthy, evidence-based, biblical advice!

Here's something YOU can use to spread the word!

People-pleasing behavior, when in violation of one's core values, can be part of an instinctual trauma response rather than a conscious choice. Begin with self-compassion.

Ever feel set up?

I love this! Always reshare worthy!!
—BB

PHRASES TO GET
COMFORTABLE SAYING

“Thanks for
correcting
me, I didn't
realize that
before.”

“I was wrong
about that
and I have
changed
my mind.”

“I hadn't
thought of it
like that,
I understand now.”

“I should do
more research
before I argue
this point.”

THERE'S NO SHAME IN BEING WRONG,
ONLY REFUSING TO LEARN.
Words: the.foreword
Art: Sylvia Duckworth

Are you nice or are you kind?

Being kind is different than being "nice". People-pleasing or fawning (aka niceness) can be a trauma response. Check in with yourself when not under stress to see if what you're habitually doing aligns with your core values and principles. Ask your true self if you want others to fawn and be "nice" to you or would you prefer the truth spoken in love (aka kindness)?

Go and do likewise.

Nope. Not gonna happen.
Self-compassion is healing!

🔥 from Nate Pyle

Unconditional love includes self-compassion.

On my last post someone asked: what do you think of unconditional love?

And this was my answer.

One of the most destructive collective beliefs we have is that unconditional love means unconditional acceptance of any behavior. It does not. Unconditional love means: I love you *and* love myself. I will protect myself. I can love you from afar if that means keeping myself safe and emotionally healthy. I can let go if I need to. I can choose my peace and my sanity. And my physical health.

Unconditional love is a state of knowing a person is not their conditioning or their patterns. While also knowing their live choices are for them to live with. Unconditional love believes in everyone’s ability to do the work, to take responsibility, and to become the person they were truly mean to be

How safe are your helpers?
https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/heather-elizabeth.org/episodes/Episode-88-How-Safe-Are-Your-Helpers-e29agcf?fbclid=IwAR1-WXXlwGcWPwXL2R3t5kmQ0swF59YyCpMrjj4lLrzH-CxcC2u9CgqJCYw

Episode 88: How Safe Are Your Helpers? by Held and Healed with Heather Elizabeth In this episode, I share some concerns I have about those who call themselves pastors, leaders, counselors, therapists, coaches, advocates, etc. I share practical ways to vet these helpers and determine if they are truly trauma-informed. I refer to Wilderness to Wild’s article, Trauma-Inforned: Ar...

Sometimes consequences are necessary, but vengeance is a trap. You were meant for something better.

Here's one of many simple tools for self-regulation. We're all different. Find out which ones work best for you.

Check out Heather Elizabeth's 2023 Held & Healed
Online Retreat.

The theme this year is Rest, Regulate, and Reset!
Register here today.
https://heatherelizabeth.org/page/2023-held-healed-online-retreat?mibextid=Zxz2cZ&fbclid=IwAR1Qk1kGzafJbWhZcm2zcj29tUAdIXN4UIbnsA2xlLyv8ocMyZToZ9PAFbU

Are the false narratives authored by your abusers becoming self-talk? Speak truth always, especially to yourself.